Setting non-negotiables is the key to your success – Tori Mathis

When was the last time you were involved in a negotiation?

You might not consider yourself to be an active negotiator unless of course you’re an active dealmaker or your job requires you to negotiate on a regular basis. But I suggest you reconsider because the reality is that you’re always negotiating, you’re just not aware that you’re doing so.

Negotiation is part of life. In fact, one of the definitions of negotiation is to find a way over or through an obstacle or difficult path. And as you well know, life is full of obstacles. Before I go on let me clarify something. The world obstacle should not be misconstrued as negative, they are as natural as any other component of nature.

Relationships are full of negotiations especially the most important relationship you have, which is the one you have with yourself. You are negotiating with yourself daily, you might just not view it as a negotiation. If you’ve ever hit a snooze button, strayed of a diet, or even donated to charity, then you’ve negotiated with yourself into doing so. Now you might argue that these are all just decisions, and you’re right, but negotiating for a positive outcome is integral to decision making.

So why am I going on about negotiation? That’s a good question. The answer is that if you ever really want to make any lasting change in your life then you’re going to have to learn to categorize some things in your life as non-negotiable. You’re no longer going to spend any energy deciding whether or not you’re going to do something, it’s no longer open to negotiation, you’re going commit, that’s it, period. This might sound a little harsh at first, but it’s the only way to really experience any lasting change.  

Making certain areas of your life non-negotiable, or of limits to decision making sounds difficult, but in the long run, it’s the easiest thing you can do for yourself. Essentially it allows you to remove all other options and stay focused on the path you’ve decided to take. So the next time you find yourself considering a commitment that will help you improve your life, once you’ve made the decision to do so, put that activity in the non-negotiable category of your life. And remember, it’ll be hard at first, but so much easier down the road.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.