How well do you take a compliment?

Do you accept it and enjoy the moment or reply with some form of self-deprecation?

Self-deprecation may be beneficial when socializing because you’ll be seen as humble but, in your effort to do so, there’s a danger that you’ll be sowing the seeds of self-sabotage and unworthiness.

Your self-confidence is grounded in the language you use to describe yourself, not only to others but also to yourself. So, what happens when someone compliments you, and you downplay it with a nonchalant, ‘it’s nothing, or no big deal’ is that you begin to believe this about yourself.

Accepting a compliment can be difficult, particularly in certain cultures where you’re taught that pride is a vice and humility is a virtue to strive for. And this might be true in some cases, especially when you’re trying to fit in, be likable and make others around you feel comfortable. But there’s a cost to downplaying yourself.

Imagine for a moment that every time a friend or colleague accomplished something in their lives, instead of praising them, you downplayed their achievements. How popular would you be with them? I think you’d soon find yourself with fewer friends. Well, this is what you’re doing to yourself when you self-deprecate and deflect compliments.

Now I’m not suggesting or recommending that you become braggadocios and flaunt your accomplishments at every opportunity you get because that too can and probably will have negative consequences in your social life. Instead, find a balance between being humble and, at the same time, proud of who you are.

So, the next time someone compliments you, don’t deflect with self-deprecation. Accept it with humility and gratitude. Allow yourself to feel worthy of the kind words they’re expressing, and hopefully, over time, you’ll begin to believe that you’re deserving of the compliments you receive.

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