How can you miss something you’ve never had?

Well, apparently, you can, and the phenomenon is called relative deprivation. It’s a close cousin of FOMO (fear of missing out) but not quite the same.

While FOMO is the feeling you have that you’re missing out on the fun that others are having or that others have better lives or experiences than you’re having, relative deprivation is when you feel deprived of a thing or an activity that you may not have even considered.

For example, you might hear a friend or colleague speaking about a luxurious vacation they took and then feel as though your vacations no longer satisfy you. Relative deprivation is rooted in the feeling that other people have things that you don’t, and you begin to think that you too should have them.

If you look carefully, you’ll quickly realize that the culprit of relative deprivation happens when you begin to compare your life to the lives of other people.

So how do you avoid the feeling of relative deprivation?

Well, one way is to isolate yourself from everyone and avoid any interaction with the outside world. But that would be a little extreme.

Realistically speaking, avoiding the feeling of relative deprivation requires you to work on yourself. It requires you to know what you want out of life. Once you know what you want, you’re not as easily lured into comparing what you have with what others have and do because you are confident on your own path.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling as though you’re missing something you never thought you wanted or had, you’ll know that you’re experiencing the phenomenon of relative deprivation. And to cure yourself of this feeling, re-center yourself and remind yourself that your life is about doing and getting what you want, and not in comparing your life to the lives of other people.

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