What are you addicted to?

Alcohol?

Drugs?

What about?

Respect?

Approval?

Love?

The latter three might not seem like addictions that can bring you as much harm as alcohol or drugs and to some extent, you’re correct.

Addiction to alcohol and drugs are more obvious to detect. Erratic behavior and odors are telltale signs of addiction to both, but when it comes to emotional addiction, only you really know you’re addicted. And while alcohol and drugs impair your cognitive abilities, emotional addiction stunts your mental growth.

The biggest problem with emotional addiction is that when you’re a child your natural instincts force you to do whatever it takes to stay alive and healthy.  And you learn very early that the more you conform to required behaviors, the more you get rewarded with respect, approval, and love.

So you learn to start playing it safe, not realizing that playing safe will ultimately prevent your own emotional growth. And then you take this behavior into adulthood because by now you’re addicted to the rewards. And eventually, your entire life is molded by your addiction to earning respect, approval, and the love of others.

At first glance, this might seem to okay.

But what happens when they don’t supply you with the fix you need?

Just like any other addict, you’ll start to experience withdrawal symptoms. These symptoms might not manifest themselves physically like the traditional substance addicts, but emotionally, you’ll begin to feel the pain.

So how do you break your addiction?

Well, just like the substance addict, you have two choices. You can either do it slowly over time, weaning yourself off the emotional addiction, or you can go cold turkey. The challenge with cold turkey is that there’s a chance that you’ll damage or at least cause tumult in some of your closest relationships. You see, those that are rewarding you emotionally are also expecting you to behave in certain ways, so your change upsets their world too.

The reality is that you don’t ever have to break your addiction. If you’re fine with the way things are then, by all means, continue on. But if you find yourself exhausted, or even occasionally stifled by the emotional labor you have to perform to get your fix of respect, approval, or love, then it might just be time to break your addiction.

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