Be Like Me

If you keep an open mind, you can learn so much from the people around you.

Lynn Good

Why can’t you be more like me?

If you would act and think like me, life would be so much easier. Especially for me. And even perhaps for you.

Just imagine, you could outsource all your thinking to me. Just do as I say, and life would be dandy.

If the preceding statements sound crazy, it’s because they are. At least, I think they are.

Be honest. How often do you wish people acted and thought like you?

I know it’s tempting to wish that other people acted and thought like you, but it’s not realistic. And that’s a good thing.

It’s been proven time and time again that diversity of thought is a good thing. It’s what propels us forward as a species.

I know it can be challenging when people disagree and don’t see eye to eye with your ideas and way of thinking, but instead of getting frustrated, what if you changed your position from being defensive to being curious?

I agree. It’s easier said than done.

Taking a position of curiosity doesn’t require you to capitulate your position. It opens your mind to new ideas. It moves you from being confrontational to open to communication.

Learning to respond instead of reacting is the first step in being more open to people contradicting your way of thinking. A simple statement such as, I’ll think about what you said, or that’s a different perspective, can diffuse many tense moments. While these scripts might initially sound and feel pre-rehearsed, you’ll get used to them over time. And, of course, you can always create your own responses.

So, the next time you find yourself wishing a person thought more like you, pause for a moment, and move from reaction to response. Shift your position from adversarial to curious and hear them out. Who knows, if you do this often enough, you might find others willing to do the same for you.

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Don’t Be a Hammer

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. William James

What does being a hammer feel like?

Well, obviously not a literal hammer, because then you wouldn’t be able to read this post. But a hammer in the sense that you approach every problem with the same attitude and mindset. Or said differently, if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Avoiding being or taking a hammer-like approach is all about avoiding your current cognitive biases and expanding your mental toolbox.

Cognitive biases can be helpful because they help you make sense of the world around you and make decisions quickly. Essentially a cognitive bias is when your brain says, “I’ve seen this before, so I know how to act.” But the downside to a cognitive bias is that you always tend to act and react the same way to a situation, and doing so doesn’t allow you to see other options. A cognitive bias can be an excellent mental shortcut, but it can also prevent you from seeing and experiencing different routes to a destination.

Adding or expanding your mental toolbox can be beneficial but also threatening to your identity because it requires you to question your current set of beliefs. And while your current set of mental tools has been sufficient to get you where you are today, will they allow you to experience future growth?

Clearly, there’s no requirement for you to grow beyond your current set of mental tools and if being a hammer is serving you well, then carry on. But if there’s any kind of change you want to make in your life, then adding to your mental toolbox is a must.

So, the decision is yours. Continue being a hammer and view every challenge and situation as a nail and experience similar results. Or change your approach and results by adding additional mental tools to your toolbox.

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Pattern Interrupt

Change is about interrupting the habits and patterns that no longer serve us. Edit Eger

What will be your next thought?

While you might think you don’t know, I feel confident that you do.

Why am I so sure?

Because you have a routine, a pattern of thinking, and no, it’s not just you. We all do.

There’s nothing wrong with having a certain way or pattern of thinking. It’s easy and, in most cases, reliable – I mean, it’s kept you alive so far.

Patterns, aka habits, and routines are great for keeping your life on track. They allow you to navigate daily life with minimal additional effort. It would be incredibly frustrating and energy-draining if you had to think about how to do each activity required to get you through your day.

So, what’s the issue with having a pattern of thinking?

Nothing.

Well, not entirely nothing. Especially if you ever want to change anything about yourself.

Patterns create ruts. Both physical and mental. And the more you use them, the more ingrained they become. Eventually, you forget that they are patterns and that you have a choice. So, you begin to think and believe that they are who you are – and that’s not true.

Breaking out of patterns requires you to interrupt the pattern. It requires conscious and, in some cases, prolonged effort over a long period of time.

How long?

Until the old pattern is broken and the new one becomes who you now believe and think you are.

If the idea of interrupting a pattern sounds difficult, it’s because it can be. Oh, and just a quick sidenote, your thought about a pattern interrupt sounding difficult is also a pattern.

One way to break a pattern is to identify it and shine a light on it. Only when you’re willing and able to recognize it for what it is will you be able to break it. If you want to change, you must confront it. It’s not easy, but entirely possible.

So, if you’re seeking to change any part of your life, look for the patterns that are keeping you stuck. Identify them, call them out and address them head-on. Remember, there was a time in your life when you were close to being a blank slate, and you made the decision, for whatever reason, to adopt the pattern you’re now seeking to interrupt. So, interrupt it. And adopt a new pattern that will bring you closer to the version of you that you want to be.

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The Best Plan For You

Success is the residue of planning – Benjamin Franklin

What’s the best plan for you?

The short answer is, it’s the plan you’ll follow.

It’s easy to get caught up in the – five productivity tips to start your day articles, and sometimes the advice can even be helpful, but eventually, you need to find what works for you.

If you find yourself forcing your life to fit a plan written or advised by someone else, then there’s a high probability that you won’t stick to it. Now there are those select few, and you might be one of them, that can muster the energy and will to power through a plan not quite a fit for you, but eventually, you’ll find yourself mentally and even possibly physically exhausted.

So, how do you create a plan that works for you?

Well, it must be based on your current personality and life situation.

Plans are in their nature aspirational. They are a roadmap to a future state. But, as the maps say, right now, you are here. And how you get to where you want to go depends on many factors, and that’s why you must evaluate what, you are here, means to you.

Let’s make this a little more tangible.

Imagine for a moment you have a goal to become healthier. So, without any self-evaluation, you follow a plan that you find online or adopt one that a friend is following. The plan you found online was probably written with a broad brush for a wide-ranging audience. And as for your friend, you don’t really know anything about their metabolic health, so following their plan will yield different results for you.

Creating plans for any area of your life should begin with introspection. Begin by identifying your strengths, weaknesses, likes, and dislikes. Once you’ve self-evaluated, then you can start to design a customized plan for yourself. A plan that you know you’ll follow.

So, if there’s any area of your life that you’re seeking to change, then start customizing a plan for yourself. Design a roadmap that gets you to your destination based on who and where you are today.

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To-Do or Not to Do?

Action expresses priorities. Mahatma Gandhi

To do or not to do?

I know it’s not quite Shakespeare, but I guarantee you that the question is just as important as any literary prose.

The foundation of the question, to do or not do, is rooted in the idea of how will you spend your finite time?

As you are aware, your options about where you spend your time are unlimited and extremely tempting. And unfortunately, it’s unreasonable to expect you to be like Odysseus and tie yourself to an imaginary mast blindfolded and your ears plugged with beeswax to avoid the alluring call of the sirens of distractions.

However, instead of physical restraint, you can ask yourself, to do or not to do? You can use the question as a filter for your actions.

To do or not to do is about aligning your actions with your priorities. It’s also about limiting your options.

If you’re like most people, then there will be times when you’ll over-commit yourself and stretch yourself thin because you won’t want to disappoint other people. And while your intentions are noble and your desire to do for others and to feel wanted are great motivators, there will be times when you’ll have to make the difficult decision whether to what’s best for you or for others.

You will also encounter the challenge of procrastinating or even quitting when a project or task becomes difficult, and here again; you should ask yourself the question. And if the answer is quit because the task no longer aligns with your goals or values, then do so. But, if you still feel motivated to move forward, then remind yourself that difficulties and obstacles are part of any worthwhile journey.

So, use the question to filter how you spend your time. Come to terms with the fact that regardless of how you feel about it, you must make a finite number of choices. Align your choices with your priorities and let everything else fall to the wayside as you carve out a life that’s important to you.

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Personal Report Card

If you want to get better at anything, track your progress – Peter Drucker

How do you know if you’re making progress?

If the word progress is unclear, then let me rephrase the question.

How do you know if you’re improving your life?

If you’re not interested in making progress or personal improvement, then you can stop reading here and save yourself some time.

However, if you’re still reading, then let’s continue.

Keeping a personal report card can be a powerful tool if you use it correctly. Your report card doesn’t have to be fancy or overly complicated. In some cases, it can be as simple as a tally or checkmarks at the end of your day. It’s a simple tool to inform you of your progress.

For example, you may have a goal of improving your health, so at the end of each day, you could simply add a checkmark to a calendar or journal for each time you exercise. And then, at the end of a week or month, you review your activity.

The best thing about a personal report card is that you get to decide what you track. The activities or items you choose can be tangible or intangible. For example, an intangible could be tracking the number of compliments you give throughout your day.

If the idea of keeping a personal report card sounds hokey or even daunting, I understand. Hokey because it sounds too simplistic or even strange, but if you ever have the opportunity to speak with any top performer, you’ll soon find that they meticulously track the areas they’re trying to improve. And as for daunting, that might just be the residual memories of school report cards coming back to haunt you.

The best thing about a personal report card is that it can be your secret and stays between you and you. There’s no requirement to share it with anyone, so you can avoid any feeling of judgment or shame if, on occasion, you slip up and don’t perform as well as you’d like to.

So, today, identify an area of your life in which you’d like to improve or make progress. Create a simple personal report card and begin to track your activity. Use your report card to lead you towards the outcomes you desire in your life.

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Playing Too Safe

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Rabindranath Tagore

How often do you find yourself playing too safe?

What do I mean by playing too safe?

In this case, I mean you shrink at the first sign of anxiety or perceived threat. You perhaps think about taking an action or changing a behavior, but just the thought of it makes you nervous, and so you recoil from the thought and remain stuck where you are.

Playing too safe comes in many forms. It could be as subtle as overplanning because you want to make sure all your bases are covered when in reality, you know that you can’t plan for every contingency. And, maybe the most egregious form of playing it safe is your underlying desire to look perfect, so you play safe by avoiding making mistakes.

How do you know when you’re playing it too safe?

Here are a few examples of behaviors that might indicate you’re playing too safe.

Procrastinating because you’re because you’re struggling with self-doubt. Thinking you need more education or knowledge before you begin a project. Constantly working to please others and afraid to speak your mind because you fear conflict. And perhaps one of the worst, denying what you really want in life because going for it feels too risky.

The worst aspect of playing too safe is that it doesn’t move you towards anything – it keeps you where you are or, in some cases, even forces you to move backward. You become a stunted individual.

Of course, I can’t or at least shouldn’t write about playing too safe without addressing the fact that there are times when it will benefit you to play safe and to take the appropriate precautions. But unless you’re a daredevil, constantly risking life and limb, or have sociopathic tendencies where you’re unable to curtail certain behaviors, then I’m going to venture to guess that more often than not, you’re playing too safe.

So, take some time today and evaluate where you think you’re playing too safe in your life. Once you’ve identified an area or two, then take your foot off the brakes and move forward. You don’t have to proceed with reckless abandonment. Sure, steady steps work just as well. See and experience what life is like when you release yourself from playing too safe.

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Think

Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it. - Henry Ford

How often do you allocate time to thinking?

Of course, I know you’re always thinking, but much of what you consider to be thinking can be chalked up to pattern recognition and reacting.

As magnificent as it is, your brain is a very lazy organ and is continuously looking for ways to conserve energy. Its goal is long-term survival, and so it creates shortcuts and automates as many tasks as possible. These shortcuts lure you into thinking you’re thinking when what you’re really doing is utilizing preset patterns.

Deep thinking is hard work, and rarely is it taught in any school curriculum. In fact, in most educational programs, quick answers and responses are rewarded, and slow thinkers are often punished or penalized for their slowness. Walk into any classroom, and you’ll see children raising their hands as fast as possible to be recognized and called on by the teacher, and this behavior continues into adulthood.

But as we all know, having an answer to a question is not the same as thinking. While rote memorization has its place, learning to think is very different.

So, how do you learn to think?

Thinking is all about exploring different ideas and options. It’s about spending time evaluating outcomes based on actions. It’s about reaching the end of the line of your current patterns so that you can build new ones. Thinking involves dancing with boredom until a new idea or thought emerges.

One of the best ways to think is with a pen and notebook. Title the page with an idea or topic you want to think about, and then let your mind wander. Jot down any and every thought that comes to mind. When you do this, you’ll quickly find that you bump up against a mental wall where you’ll feel as though you’ve exhausted all your options – this is the point where real thinking begins.

Of course, you don’t need to engage in writing every time you want or need to think, but every so often, when you have a big decision to make or need to work through a challenge, learning to think out loud aka, on paper can help you see options and bring new opportunities to light.

So, get in the habit today of thinking on paper. Carve out a few minutes to practice and continue to hone your ability to think. While it’s unfortunate that thinking is rarely taught as a class, fortunately for you, learning to think is a skill that you can learn to cultivate at any time in life.

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Pre-Day Planning

An hour of planning can save you 10 hours of doing. Dale Carnegie

When is the best time to start your day?

What if I said it’s the night before?

Starting your day the night before begins with a little bit of planning that can ultimately save you time and even alleviate stress.

Your pre-day activity shouldn’t take long and might only consist of a few simple steps.

Here are a few suggestions.

First, make a short list of what you need to accomplish or work on tomorrow. This day before checklist frees your mind, which can be especially helpful when going to sleep. When you make a list, you’re moving items from your mind to paper and have less chance of forgetting what you need to do.

Next, you can think about clothing for the next day. Again, just a little prep to reduce the stress of deciding what to wear in the morning.

The last item on the list is food. Planning your breakfast, or whatever meals are essential to you, ahead of time saves you having to make decisions the day of and can also prevent you from making poor food choices.

Pre-day planning is a tool you can adopt no matter where you are in life. It’s a low investment, high returns tool that takes a few minutes to implement and can save you hours over your lifetime.

So, this evening, spend a few minutes and create a pre-day plan. Enjoy the benefit of additional time and even the decrease in stress you’ll experience tomorrow.

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Smell the Roses

You're only here for a short visit. Don't hurry, don't worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way. Walter Hagen

When was the last time you stopped to smell the roses?

Well, maybe not actual roses, but metaphorically speaking.

Learning to acknowledge and value the meaning of an event, act, or even in some cases, an inanimate object has been shown to improve personal well-being.

Taking time to recognize and appreciate events or even objects is also a great way to avoid taking things for granted.

It’s easy to move from one accomplishment to another without taking time to stop and appreciate meaningful moments in life. But doing so can result in a feeling of burnout and being on a never-ending treadmill.

I know chasing dreams and goals, the pressure of fulfilling expectations, both yours and the ones others have imposed on you, can keep you in continuous motion with what seems like little or no time to stop and enjoy what some might consider small wins. But learning to stop is more beneficial for you in the long run. If it helps, think of stopping as a racecar driver would about a pit-stop—a brief pause to refresh and replenish yourself for the next round of activity.

So, take a moment today to stop and smell whatever roses are in your life. Think of an event, person, or even object that in the past twenty-four hours has positively influenced your life and feel a sense of appreciation for them or it. Oh, and of course, if you have access to real roses, and if you’re so inclined to do so, please do take a moment to smell them.

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Learn From Failure

We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success. Samuel Smiles

Do you learn more from failure or success?

While both failure and success contain their own set of lessons, it’s almost always failure that inspires additional learning.

Why is that so?

Because success lures you into thinking you’re doing everything correctly, whereas failure reminds you that you’re not.

The sting of failure is what forces you to look for alternate paths. And it’s in the seeking of new ways of acting and doing that you begin to grow and learn.

Before I continue, let me clarify that there absolutely can be a downside to failure. Some people never recover from what could be considered catastrophic failures. Failure so significant that the individual gives up emotionally and, in some cases, even physically. Fortunately, failure on such a grand scale rarely occurs for most people.

Failure, when treated appropriately, is an opportunity to pause and reflect. Failure is an opportunity for you to improve your decision-making. It’s even an opportunity to recalibrate and, in some cases, even redefine your mission.

If you re-read the preceding paragraph, you’ll notice that I used the word opportunity several times. I did that by design because I want you to think of failure as an opportunity and not a negative event. I understand that rephrasing failure as an opportunity does not remove the emotional turmoil associated with it. But once you get through -and hopefully you will – experiencing the rollercoaster of emotions connected to failure, you’ll begin to see new opportunities arise.

So, the next time you find yourself failing at something, try to reframe it as a learning opportunity. I know it’s easier said than done, but still doable. Use your failures as stepping, no, not stepping, but learning stones on your way to success.

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Mental Browser Tabs

There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither.  Alan Cohen

How many browser tabs do you have open right now?

Wait. Before you answer, I want to modify the question.

How many browser tabs do you have open in your mind?

It’s easy to treat your mind like your devices, leaving several browser tabs open at any one time as you flit from interest to interest or thought to thought. But every once in a while, it’s good practice to clear tabs and refresh your mind, just like you do with your device.

The difference between your mind and your device is that your device lets you know that it needs an occasional update or refresh. On the other hand, your mind might send you signals that it too needs refreshing, but it’s, of course, up to you whether you heed the messages.

The messages your mind sends you that it has too many tabs open and needs refreshing might show up in the form of frustration, stress, or even anxiety and panic. When you begin to feel any of the preceding emotions, instead of plowing on and hoping they’ll disappear, learn to take a step back and pause.

Pausing or stopping when you feel overwhelmed isn’t a sign of weakness, but strength, and dare I say, even maturity. And the wonderful thing about pausing is that just like your device when you get back from break, you can always restore your tabs.

I’ll admit that it is impossible to completely turn off your mind, and that is one advantage that devices have, but that’s okay. Your version of closing tabs can be to briefly bring your full attention to one thing and be purposefully present. A mindful moment if you will. Just enough time to re-center yourself and eliminate or reduce the feeling of overwhelm.

While your mind is a wonderful instrument and can function as well as, if not better than any device, it also needs to rest and refresh. And though sleep is a great tool for resting your mind, it’s also a healthy practice to deliberately take time throughout your day to close as many mental browser tabs as possible. Doing so will allow you to distribute the mental burden of your day, resulting in you feeling more focused and refreshed.

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Perfection or Progress?

Progress is more important than perfection. Simon Sinek

Are you striving for perfection or progress?

If it’s perfection you’re seeking, then there’s a high probability that you’ll consistently be disappointed.

Why?

Because perfection rarely exists. Perfection can also be elusive because it’s a moving target.

The ideas you have or the images you see of a perfect life, with perfect partners and children – all living in a perfect setting is a fictional story.

One of the worst aspects of perfection is that no matter how hard you work towards it, you will always have a perception that there’s better out there and you haven’t achieved it.

Perfection doesn’t even exist in high-tech engineering, where computers are involved, and humans have been removed from the process. Ask any engineer, and they will tell you about tolerances, aka, the number of flaws acceptable when producing a product.

Progress, on the other hand, is a journey. The steps you take can be incremental, or in some cases even exponential, each one leading towards a destination of your choosing.

Progress can be confusing and messy. At times, progress might force you to take a few steps backward just so that you can move forwards again.

When you focus on progress, you pay more attention to the process rather than the outcome. You maintain a constant step-by-step, boring and monotonous at times, march towards your goal.

So, the next time you find yourself thinking about how to be or live a perfect life, think about progress instead. Concentrate on taking nothing more than the next step towards whatever goal or ideal life you’ve imagined. If you continue to take one step at a time, you might soon find yourself living what might be considered a perfect life.

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Confront Yourself

You cannot change what you refuse to confront. — John Spence

How often are you confrontational?

Let me clarify before you think I’m asking you to pick a fight with someone.

How often are you confrontational with yourself?

Or perhaps asked another way.

How often do you confront yourself about how you’re living?

Why am I suggesting you confront yourself?

Because, while I’m a strong proponent of self-love and being kind to yourself, there must be times when you need to be willing to challenge and hold yourself to a higher set of values.

Confronting yourself is not about berating or criticizing yourself. It’s about asking difficult questions and committing to self-inquiry. It’s about identifying and determining your contribution to the happenings in your life. It’s about holding yourself accountable.

How should you hold yourself accountable?

There is no one specific formula for self-accountability that works for everyone, but one way is to design a set of questions that works for you.

Here are a few examples of questions that might work for you.

Am I doing what I said I would do?

Am I living in line with my values?

Am I becoming the person I want to be?

As you can see, these questions are broad and require additional self-inquiry to identify specific activities that align with the questions.

Once you have your questions, the challenge begins – holding yourself accountable. This is when you confront yourself.

One way to hold yourself accountable is to identify a person you trust you to check in with you on a pre-determined schedule and ask you your defined questions. Asking someone to hold you accountable can be intimidating, but it can also be highly effective. Of course, if you’re not ready, or feel too vulnerable to ask someone else, then you can always check in with yourself. Doing so requires a little more discipline but is absolutely doable.

So, if you’re seeking to make progress in your life, learn to confront yourself. Find a way to hold yourself accountable and push yourself towards the person you want and know you can be.

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Personal Growth

Happiness is not the goal of your life. Growth is. Tony Robbins

What is your plan for personal growth?

Why is personal growth even important?

There are two kinds of personal growth. One is by chance; the other is deliberate.

Personal growth that occurs by chance is what you go through during the early part of life. From when you’re born to your late teens, you experience tremendous personal growth without ever really seeking it out. It’s nature’s gift to you.

But then what happens?

You become an adult, and you now have choices and independence.

You get to decide if you want to continue to grow or begin to stagnate.

Of course, as an adult, nature or life isn’t entirely done with you yet. There will still be opportunities for you to experience personal growth when faced with adversities and other unplanned events.

But what about deliberate personal growth?

Is it required?

No. But life is more fulfilling, and if that’s not your thing, then it’s more exciting if you intentionally seek out personal growth.

Fortunately for you, there’s no one sure-fire way to experience personal growth. You get to decide how and what you do to experience it.

You can choose if you want to grow emotionally, physically, spiritually, or even push your level of intelligence as far as you can. Or you can select them all and benefit from the adventure of growth in multiple arenas.

Ultimately, pursuing personal growth is all about releasing your inner potential. It’s not to meet the standards or expectations of anyone else. It’s about seeing what you can do with your own life.

So, take some time today and consider a personal growth plan for yourself. Unleash your fullest potential and be like the proverbial acorn that grows into the most prominent oak tree it can.

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Invisible Forces

One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up instead of what they have to gain. Rick Godwin

Why is it so difficult to change?

Are there some magical invisible forces acting against you?

Unfortunately, forces are acting against you, and yes, quite often, you can’t see them. But if you take some time to investigate, then you can identify them.

There is an equation to change, and it’s that when you consider making any change, there will be forces in favor and forces against making that change. And it’s your job to identify what those forces are.

The key to making lasting, successful change is making the forces in favor of change greater than those against the change. While this might sound straightforward, how do you go about doing so?

Good question.

Here’s one suggestion. Call on the spirit of Ben Franklin.

Why Ben Franklin?

Because Ben Franklin, although I’m pretty sure wasn’t the first person to do so, was known for making a list of pros and cons for making decisions. Essentially, he made a process of identifying the forces, or reasons, for or against change.

The process of evaluating pros and cons is simple and yet powerful. All you need to do is get a piece of paper and draw two columns: label one column pros and the other cons. And then start identifying the reasons for and against the change. Make your list as exhaustive as possible and if need be, seek additional advice or help.

Making a list of pros and cons shines a light on the forces for and against the change you’re thinking about making and allows you to ask yourself whether it’s worth your effort to exert the necessary energy needed to change.

So, the next time you’re considering implementing a change in your life, don’t forget about the invisible forces working to keep you where you are. Evaluate your current state versus the change you’re thinking about adopting. And if you decide to move forward, then – please forgive the Star Wars sounding advice – may your force be stronger than the ones acting against you.

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Falling off the Wagon

We all fall off the wagon. It's only one day; it's not the rest of your life. Pick yourself up and go again. Nikki Sixx

What do you do when you fall off the wagon?

I know falling off the wagon is usually associated with drinking or other substance abuse, but you can also fall off the wagon in other areas of life.

When you set out to accomplish a goal and fail, it’s very easy to get down on yourself. It’s the perfect opportunity for your inner critic to take center stage and remind you of all the other times you’ve tried and failed and that you’re potentially doomed forever. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

In professional recovery programs, there are steps that they recommend to get individuals back on track, aka, back on the wagon.

Let’s look at a few of the steps.

First and foremost is to be gentle with yourself. While I can’t tell you how you go about being gentle with yourself, I can say that this is the most crucial step. Constantly berating yourself for not living up to your own or someone else’s standards is highly detrimental to your mental wellbeing. Learn to let go of perfection.

The next step is to seek help. You don’t need to get professional help unless, of course, you want to, but finding a person you can confide in or hold you accountable when you’re struggling to stay on track can be a game-changer.

Lastly, take small steps. Consistency is key. While you might occasionally stray off track, you’ll still be directionally correct. Think of it this way. If you spent too much money one day, you wouldn’t set your savings on fire.

So, the next time you find yourself falling off the wagon, be kind and remind yourself you’re human. And find someone to help you get back on track. Remember, being on the wagon can be precarious, but it’s a place you need to be so that you can reach your desired destination.

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Gain Wisdom

No man was ever wise by chance.

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

How do you gain wisdom?

Very often, the image of a wise person is an older man or woman that can, as if by magic, impart their wisdom as needed.

Wisdom is usually correlated with age because wisdom is gained through experiences over an extended period of time.

If experiences are the stepping stones to wisdom, and you want to one day benefit from your own wisdom, you must be open to new experiences. You must be willing to step out of your comfort zone.

A good starting point for your journey to wisdom is the admit to yourself that your current knowledge is not definitive or universal. This intentional admission of gaps in your thinking will open you to different and new ideas.

Another step towards gaining wisdom is your ability to unlearn what you already know. The process of unlearning can be challenging because it might force you to change some of your core beliefs – those that are tied to your identity.

Of course, I can’t write about gaining wisdom without mentioning or recommending you seek out mentors or, said differently, people with wisdom. Those that have gone before you and have experienced life and now willing to share their experiences with you.

The wonderful thing about the road to gaining wisdom is it’s a lifelong journey that you can choose to embark on at any point in life, it’s never too late, but the sooner you begin, the more wisdom you’ll gain.

So, set out today on your journey to gain wisdom. Do it not because you want to be known as a wise person. Do it because a life of new experiences, unlearning and re-learning, and spending time with wise people is a sure way to enrich your own life.

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Question the Information

The master key of knowledge is, indeed, a persistent and frequent questioning. Peter Abelard

Where do you source your information?

How do you validate it?

I’ll be the first to agree that it’s impossible to validate all the information that’s needed to navigate a day, let alone a lifetime. And that sometimes there’s a need to blindly trust, or have faith, that the information you’re receiving is accurate at that moment.

But why is it important to think about where you get your information?

Because it’s one of the most powerful influences on how you think and what you think about?

Unfortunately, not all purveyors of information have your best interests at heart. In fact, I would argue that most don’t. The majority of information available to you is designed to coerce and influence you to behave and think in ways that benefit the provider of the information.

Now I know I might be sounding a little conspiratorial, so let me pose a question for you to ponder.

How many newsworthy events do you think occur in a day?

If you consider there are over seven billion people globally, the estimate of newsworthy events would be in the millions. It’s obviously impossible to collect information and report on millions of events, so the conveyers of information must filter down to a select few to share with you.

The question is, how do they decide what they want you to know?

Is their answer based on what’s best for you, or what will keep you coming back to them?

I’m going to bet it’s the latter.

I know it’s tempting to want to stay informed because doing so makes you feel better about yourself. And beats being considered ignorant. But I’m not recommending ignorance. I’m encouraging inquiry and vigilance.

So, as you go through your day consuming information, occasionally pause for a moment, and question the validity of the source. Consider the motives of the purveyor and whose best interests they are seeking to fulfill.

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Pay Yourself First

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first. Norm Kelly

What does it mean to pay yourself first?

If you’re familiar with financial advisors’ advice, you’ll recognize the pay yourself first message.

The idea behind paying yourself first is that you should save a certain amount of money from your income before paying any bills or debts and before spending your money on anything else.

The advisors say pay yourself first because data shows that when you do so, there’s a much greater chance that you’ll save money for the long term and still be able to get by with the money you have leftover.

Now I understand that there are always exceptions to the rule and that there are people that struggle to make ends meet and cannot pay themselves first.

But why am I writing about paying yourself first?

Good question.

Because the pay yourself mentality can also apply to time.

If you don’t allocate time in your day to accomplish projects or tasks that are important to you, then the likelihood of you getting them done is very slim.

Paying yourself first with time is about you intentionally setting aside time instead of taking whatever time might be leftover in your day.

Why is it important to take time out of your day for yourself?

Because if you don’t, sooner or later, you’ll begin to feel as though you’ve lost control of your life and that you’re no longer living for yourself and only answering to the demands and whims of others on your time. And this lack of control of your time will eventually lead to frustration and unhappiness.

So, beginning tomorrow, find a way to identify time on your calendar and pay yourself first. Start with a few minutes and see how you feel. Even though time, unlike money, can’t be saved for use in the future, you’ll find that when you pay yourself first, you’ll begin to experience a richness of time.

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