Raj Daniels

How often do you choose your own adventure?

If you’re familiar with the genre of choose your own adventure books, then you know that they’re based on decisions you get to make while reading the story. And how the story ends depends upon the choices you make.

Quick segue – if you’re not familiar with choose your own adventure books, I highly recommend you read one.

Choosing your own adventure is all about making decisions while being uncertain about the outcome. While this might sound unsettling, if you think about it, then you’ll quickly realize that only a tiny percentage of the decisions you make have guaranteed outcomes.

Choosing your own adventure is about intentionally stepping into the unknown – it forces you to pay attention. It’s about leaving the path of fictional guaranteed results and exploring new ways of being and doing.

When you lean into choosing your own adventure, you’ll begin to develop new skills, and your perspective of life and how you view the world around you will begin to change. And unlike the books, there’s no going back to where you started.

Choosing your adventure is not something I recommend you do daily because that would lead to a chaotic and unpredictable existence, and that wouldn’t be helpful for your mental or physical well-being. But it’s absolutely something I recommend you do on a regular basis, even if it means scheduling it on your calendar.

So, commit today to make time to choose your adventure. Start out small if you need to. Perhaps even something as harmless as driving an unfamiliar route or speaking with a stranger. Anything that you’re unprepared for and makes you a little nervous. Shift your life from the ho-hum of knowing what’s next to the oh wow, excitement of choosing your own adventure.

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How much time do you spend pursuing intangible assets?

It’s easy to get caught up focusing on or pursuing the tangible objects, but focusing on or improving your intangibles are just as, or, I’d argue, even more critical.

Before I go any further, let me provide a short definition of intangible. That which is unable to be touched or grasped; not having physical presence.

What intangible assets do you have?

Let’s start with your reputation. What is your reputation? Well, it’s what people say and think about you. It’s your personal brand.

How much influence do you have over your personal brand? Quite a lot. Of course, there will always be people that might not recognize you for who you are, and that’s okay, but for the most part, people will judge you by your words and actions.

Your friendships are also an intangible asset. While you might be able to count the number of friends you have, the depth and intimacy of your friendships will depend on how you treat other people. And while treating someone can’t be physically measured, it does register on an emotional scale.

The amount of knowledge and skill you accrue over your life can also be considered intangible assets. Sure, you might get a certificate or degree or two that validates your effort, but how much you know can never really be measured.

Your intangible assets are not only for your own personal gain. Love and appreciation are also intangible assets that you have an endless supply of, and you can and should share them as often as possible.

So, while pursuing the physical assets might provide you with a dopamine rush, you’ll soon find that once you’ve acquired the object of your desire, the rush quickly subsides. But when you work to improve your intangible assets, you will continue to reap the rewards over your entire lifetime.

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How often do you engage in wishful thinking?

When you hear the term wishful thinking, what comes to mind?

Wishful thinking has garnered a bad reputation as an activity you might engage in but to your detriment. Wishful thinking and its close cousin dream on are often used as pejoratives. Both suggest that what you’re thinking about or want to pursue will never come to fruition.

But I beg to differ. Perhaps, wishful thinking on my behalf.

I will agree that wishing for things to be different can cause you issues because you’re fighting against reality, but that’s not to say that things can’t be different in the future. And that’s where wishful thinking and dream-on can both be beneficial for you.

Wishful thinking can motivate you and move towards a better future because it requires a dose of optimism. Essentially, you begin to expect better outcomes.

For a moment, let’s think about how ingrained we are in wishful thinking.

What are you asked to do when you blow out candles on a birthday cake? That’s right, make a wish.

If you are fortunate enough to travel, you’ll find various forms of wishing wells all around the world. And some might even argue that wishes are also a form of prayer.

While the downside of wishful thinking is that it might not be grounded in today’s reality, who’s to say that what might not be considered valid or possible today won’t change and become true in the future.

So, I would highly recommend that while maintaining sure footing in the reality of today, you still spend some time engaging in wishful thinking. Think and dream about what’s possible for you tomorrow and beyond. And then find a way to turn your wishes into reality.

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When did you become a correctional officer?

Confused?

Let me ask the question differently.

When did it become your responsibility to correct people when you think they’re wrong?

Correcting others rarely wins any accolades or warm feelings towards you, especially when your corrections aren’t asked for. In fact, correcting someone can often lead to them feeling embarrassed or, even worse, defensive. And once their defenses are up, there’s little chance of you and your ideas getting through to them.

Of course, there is a time and place when it might be necessary to correct someone, especially if you see them on a path to self-harm or on the verge of committing an egregious error that might cause them to have severe repercussions. This kind of correction usually applies to children and those that are close to you and hopefully understand that you’re speaking from a place of good intentions.

If you really feel the need to correct someone, then remember, it’s always better to praise in public and criticize in private. And this rule applies in almost all cases.

Look, I know it isn’t easy to stay quiet when you know that you’re right about a specific idea or topic, but it’s not your job to correct others. If they ask your opinion, then, by all means, let them know your thoughts, but otherwise, keep them to yourself.

The world, if full of grey areas and what you might consider being correct today, could end up being incorrect tomorrow. And unless you’re personally involved in research and gathering data and statistics about a variety of subjects, then there’s a high probability that you, too, are quite often incorrect.

So, since correcting someone is challenging to accomplish politely and sensitively, maybe the next time you feel like doing so, don’t. Not because you don’t care, but because it’s not your job. Before I end, I want to point out that not correcting doesn’t mean you agree with them – it just means that you’re confident enough in your own views to let them be confident in theirs.

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How do you feel when the people around you begin to change?

Do you resent them?

Do you wish they stayed the same?

Dealing with any sort of change can be challenging, but when people around you, especially those that you’re close to, begin to change, it can feel even more daunting.

I know that you know change is a normal part of life. But it can affect how you experience your personal relationships when those close to change. When a person you’ve known for a while adopts a new behavior or behaves differently towards you, it destabilizes that part of your life. And this uncertainty can cause you to feel anger and resentment towards them. But you must realize that their change is not about you. It’s about them.

Let’s, for a moment, switch the shoe to the other foot.

How would you want or expect a person close to you to deal with a change you made in your life? Especially if you knew the change was good for you.

Would you want them to accept you for who you are or resent you for changing?

I believe you’d want them to extend the courtesy of allowing you to be who you are – as long your change doesn’t infringe on their freedom of being who they are.

Navigating shifts in relationships is never easy, and, at times, you must ask yourself what you’re looking for from both family and friends. Introspecting on your relationships might help you realize that people will be with you for different reasons and seasons. And that change is inevitable.

So, the next time you find yourself annoyed because a person close to you has changed, give them space. If their changing doesn’t harm you, then you can decide if you can accept them as they are. Hopefully, you will, and as you do, you might find that the next time you change, they’ll do the same for you.

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How does it feel to be a co-author?

Now you might be thinking that I have you mistaken for someone else and that you’re not an author. But I believe you are.

You see, you are the co-creator, or said differently, the co-author of your own life.

I say you’re the co-author because you have the opportunity to write most of your own life story. I’m using most as an easy out measure because some days it could be more, while other days you might be in a reactionary mode responding to challenges and demands beyond your control.

The challenge with accepting the fact you’re the co-author of your life is that you must acknowledge the role and responsibility you have in writing your life story. This can be a difficult pill to swallow because it’s easier sometimes to believe that you’re a victim of circumstance instead of an active participant.

Being a co-author of your life doesn’t require you to map out every day in minute detail, but it does require some long-term thinking. Similar to an author writing a book, fiction or non-fiction, there needs to be a plot or idea that the book coalesces around. The writing needs to be directionally correct.

Writing your story towards a life that is directionally correct allows you to detach yourself from the outcome. It also allows you to navigate the challenges and external demands you’ll inevitably face on your journey – aka, deal with fate – your co-author.

So, as you set out today, remind yourself that you are the co-author of your life and that regardless of what challenges you face, you can still choose to set yourself on a course that makes your life story the one you want to live and ultimately look back and read.

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Why should you learn to change your perspective?

Well, the good news is, if everything is going perfectly for you, then you don’t need to read any further.

However, if you’re curious about how changing your perspective can be beneficial for you, then let’s continue.

I want to get clear from the start that changing your perspective does not require you to change your mind. It’s about looking at situations from a different point of view. Of course, if you choose to change your mind after viewing a situation differently, that’s entirely up to you.

Learning to change your perspective is all about looking through a fresh pair of eyes and providing your mind the opportunity to think and perhaps even act differently in a given situation. It’s about breaking or at least interrupting your current pattern of thought. By the way, a quick side note. Almost all ‘ah ha’ moments are triggered by changes in perspective.

Changing your perspective can also move you from a position of weakness to power. Many times, when you feel weak and a victim of circumstances, it’s because you’re taking a passive approach to life, you’re being acted on, things are being done to you. However, you move from passive to active when you decide to view things differently. It’s a subtle shift, but your mind and body will begin to generate different responses to situations that might have once felt overwhelming.

Now for the difficult news. Changing your perspective takes effort. In fact, in a chicken and egg kind of sense, changing your perspective requires you to change your perspective.  You must be willing to act and think differently. It’s the hardest step – but well worth the effort.

So, the next time you feel overwhelmed or stuck in a situation, try to change your perspective. Uncover the fact that you’re not bound to your current way of thinking and that you can, if you choose to, change your perspective and ultimately change the way you experience life.

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How often do you encounter an opportunity to perform a good deed?

Maybe not even a good deed, but an opportunity to say a kind word or gesture.

When you are fortunate enough to come across an opportunity to perform a good deed or say a kind word, what do you do?

Do you act upon the opportunity, or do you let it slip away?

Look, I know you’re busy and caught up in all the commitments and tasks you must get through by the end of your day, but, fortunately for you, there’s still time in your schedule to squeeze in a good deed or two.

Acting on an opportunity to perform a good deed or say a kind word doesn’t take much time, and the good news is that studies show that you will benefit just as much, if not more, than the recipient of your action.

Here’s a quote that might be of interest to you.

“People who engage in kind acts become happier over time,” says Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside. “When you are kind to others, you feel good as a person — more moral, optimistic, and positive,” she says. Lyubomirsky has studied happiness for over 20 years.

And if feeling good isn’t enough of a motivator for you, then you might also like to know that researchers have also found a link between performing good deeds and living longer – “helping others reduced mortality specifically by buffering the association between stress and mortality.” So, you can, although I don’t recommend it, do good for strictly selfish reasons.

So, the next time you’re inspired or have the opportunity to perform a good deed or say a kind word, do it as soon as possible. Don’t wait until later, or when you think you’ll have more time because there never is more time. Oh, and one last thing. You’ll find that the more you practice doing good, the more opportunities to do good will come your way – which means you’ll feel more positive about your own life, and there’s even a chance you’ll live longer too.

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Why can’t you be more like me?

If you would act and think like me, life would be so much easier. Especially for me. And even perhaps for you.

Just imagine, you could outsource all your thinking to me. Just do as I say, and life would be dandy.

If the preceding statements sound crazy, it’s because they are. At least, I think they are.

Be honest. How often do you wish people acted and thought like you?

I know it’s tempting to wish that other people acted and thought like you, but it’s not realistic. And that’s a good thing.

It’s been proven time and time again that diversity of thought is a good thing. It’s what propels us forward as a species.

I know it can be challenging when people disagree and don’t see eye to eye with your ideas and way of thinking, but instead of getting frustrated, what if you changed your position from being defensive to being curious?

I agree. It’s easier said than done.

Taking a position of curiosity doesn’t require you to capitulate your position. It opens your mind to new ideas. It moves you from being confrontational to open to communication.

Learning to respond instead of reacting is the first step in being more open to people contradicting your way of thinking. A simple statement such as, I’ll think about what you said, or that’s a different perspective, can diffuse many tense moments. While these scripts might initially sound and feel pre-rehearsed, you’ll get used to them over time. And, of course, you can always create your own responses.

So, the next time you find yourself wishing a person thought more like you, pause for a moment, and move from reaction to response. Shift your position from adversarial to curious and hear them out. Who knows, if you do this often enough, you might find others willing to do the same for you.

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What does being a hammer feel like?

Well, obviously not a literal hammer, because then you wouldn’t be able to read this post. But a hammer in the sense that you approach every problem with the same attitude and mindset. Or said differently, if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Avoiding being or taking a hammer-like approach is all about avoiding your current cognitive biases and expanding your mental toolbox.

Cognitive biases can be helpful because they help you make sense of the world around you and make decisions quickly. Essentially a cognitive bias is when your brain says, “I’ve seen this before, so I know how to act.” But the downside to a cognitive bias is that you always tend to act and react the same way to a situation, and doing so doesn’t allow you to see other options. A cognitive bias can be an excellent mental shortcut, but it can also prevent you from seeing and experiencing different routes to a destination.

Adding or expanding your mental toolbox can be beneficial but also threatening to your identity because it requires you to question your current set of beliefs. And while your current set of mental tools has been sufficient to get you where you are today, will they allow you to experience future growth?

Clearly, there’s no requirement for you to grow beyond your current set of mental tools and if being a hammer is serving you well, then carry on. But if there’s any kind of change you want to make in your life, then adding to your mental toolbox is a must.

So, the decision is yours. Continue being a hammer and view every challenge and situation as a nail and experience similar results. Or change your approach and results by adding additional mental tools to your toolbox.

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What will be your next thought?

While you might think you don’t know, I feel confident that you do.

Why am I so sure?

Because you have a routine, a pattern of thinking, and no, it’s not just you. We all do.

There’s nothing wrong with having a certain way or pattern of thinking. It’s easy and, in most cases, reliable – I mean, it’s kept you alive so far.

Patterns, aka habits, and routines are great for keeping your life on track. They allow you to navigate daily life with minimal additional effort. It would be incredibly frustrating and energy-draining if you had to think about how to do each activity required to get you through your day.

So, what’s the issue with having a pattern of thinking?

Nothing.

Well, not entirely nothing. Especially if you ever want to change anything about yourself.

Patterns create ruts. Both physical and mental. And the more you use them, the more ingrained they become. Eventually, you forget that they are patterns and that you have a choice. So, you begin to think and believe that they are who you are – and that’s not true.

Breaking out of patterns requires you to interrupt the pattern. It requires conscious and, in some cases, prolonged effort over a long period of time.

How long?

Until the old pattern is broken and the new one becomes who you now believe and think you are.

If the idea of interrupting a pattern sounds difficult, it’s because it can be. Oh, and just a quick sidenote, your thought about a pattern interrupt sounding difficult is also a pattern.

One way to break a pattern is to identify it and shine a light on it. Only when you’re willing and able to recognize it for what it is will you be able to break it. If you want to change, you must confront it. It’s not easy, but entirely possible.

So, if you’re seeking to change any part of your life, look for the patterns that are keeping you stuck. Identify them, call them out and address them head-on. Remember, there was a time in your life when you were close to being a blank slate, and you made the decision, for whatever reason, to adopt the pattern you’re now seeking to interrupt. So, interrupt it. And adopt a new pattern that will bring you closer to the version of you that you want to be.

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What’s the best plan for you?

The short answer is, it’s the plan you’ll follow.

It’s easy to get caught up in the – five productivity tips to start your day articles, and sometimes the advice can even be helpful, but eventually, you need to find what works for you.

If you find yourself forcing your life to fit a plan written or advised by someone else, then there’s a high probability that you won’t stick to it. Now there are those select few, and you might be one of them, that can muster the energy and will to power through a plan not quite a fit for you, but eventually, you’ll find yourself mentally and even possibly physically exhausted.

So, how do you create a plan that works for you?

Well, it must be based on your current personality and life situation.

Plans are in their nature aspirational. They are a roadmap to a future state. But, as the maps say, right now, you are here. And how you get to where you want to go depends on many factors, and that’s why you must evaluate what, you are here, means to you.

Let’s make this a little more tangible.

Imagine for a moment you have a goal to become healthier. So, without any self-evaluation, you follow a plan that you find online or adopt one that a friend is following. The plan you found online was probably written with a broad brush for a wide-ranging audience. And as for your friend, you don’t really know anything about their metabolic health, so following their plan will yield different results for you.

Creating plans for any area of your life should begin with introspection. Begin by identifying your strengths, weaknesses, likes, and dislikes. Once you’ve self-evaluated, then you can start to design a customized plan for yourself. A plan that you know you’ll follow.

So, if there’s any area of your life that you’re seeking to change, then start customizing a plan for yourself. Design a roadmap that gets you to your destination based on who and where you are today.

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To do or not to do?

I know it’s not quite Shakespeare, but I guarantee you that the question is just as important as any literary prose.

The foundation of the question, to do or not do, is rooted in the idea of how will you spend your finite time?

As you are aware, your options about where you spend your time are unlimited and extremely tempting. And unfortunately, it’s unreasonable to expect you to be like Odysseus and tie yourself to an imaginary mast blindfolded and your ears plugged with beeswax to avoid the alluring call of the sirens of distractions.

However, instead of physical restraint, you can ask yourself, to do or not to do? You can use the question as a filter for your actions.

To do or not to do is about aligning your actions with your priorities. It’s also about limiting your options.

If you’re like most people, then there will be times when you’ll over-commit yourself and stretch yourself thin because you won’t want to disappoint other people. And while your intentions are noble and your desire to do for others and to feel wanted are great motivators, there will be times when you’ll have to make the difficult decision whether to what’s best for you or for others.

You will also encounter the challenge of procrastinating or even quitting when a project or task becomes difficult, and here again; you should ask yourself the question. And if the answer is quit because the task no longer aligns with your goals or values, then do so. But, if you still feel motivated to move forward, then remind yourself that difficulties and obstacles are part of any worthwhile journey.

So, use the question to filter how you spend your time. Come to terms with the fact that regardless of how you feel about it, you must make a finite number of choices. Align your choices with your priorities and let everything else fall to the wayside as you carve out a life that’s important to you.

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How do you know if you’re making progress?

If the word progress is unclear, then let me rephrase the question.

How do you know if you’re improving your life?

If you’re not interested in making progress or personal improvement, then you can stop reading here and save yourself some time.

However, if you’re still reading, then let’s continue.

Keeping a personal report card can be a powerful tool if you use it correctly. Your report card doesn’t have to be fancy or overly complicated. In some cases, it can be as simple as a tally or checkmarks at the end of your day. It’s a simple tool to inform you of your progress.

For example, you may have a goal of improving your health, so at the end of each day, you could simply add a checkmark to a calendar or journal for each time you exercise. And then, at the end of a week or month, you review your activity.

The best thing about a personal report card is that you get to decide what you track. The activities or items you choose can be tangible or intangible. For example, an intangible could be tracking the number of compliments you give throughout your day.

If the idea of keeping a personal report card sounds hokey or even daunting, I understand. Hokey because it sounds too simplistic or even strange, but if you ever have the opportunity to speak with any top performer, you’ll soon find that they meticulously track the areas they’re trying to improve. And as for daunting, that might just be the residual memories of school report cards coming back to haunt you.

The best thing about a personal report card is that it can be your secret and stays between you and you. There’s no requirement to share it with anyone, so you can avoid any feeling of judgment or shame if, on occasion, you slip up and don’t perform as well as you’d like to.

So, today, identify an area of your life in which you’d like to improve or make progress. Create a simple personal report card and begin to track your activity. Use your report card to lead you towards the outcomes you desire in your life.

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How often do you find yourself playing too safe?

What do I mean by playing too safe?

In this case, I mean you shrink at the first sign of anxiety or perceived threat. You perhaps think about taking an action or changing a behavior, but just the thought of it makes you nervous, and so you recoil from the thought and remain stuck where you are.

Playing too safe comes in many forms. It could be as subtle as overplanning because you want to make sure all your bases are covered when in reality, you know that you can’t plan for every contingency. And, maybe the most egregious form of playing it safe is your underlying desire to look perfect, so you play safe by avoiding making mistakes.

How do you know when you’re playing it too safe?

Here are a few examples of behaviors that might indicate you’re playing too safe.

Procrastinating because you’re because you’re struggling with self-doubt. Thinking you need more education or knowledge before you begin a project. Constantly working to please others and afraid to speak your mind because you fear conflict. And perhaps one of the worst, denying what you really want in life because going for it feels too risky.

The worst aspect of playing too safe is that it doesn’t move you towards anything – it keeps you where you are or, in some cases, even forces you to move backward. You become a stunted individual.

Of course, I can’t or at least shouldn’t write about playing too safe without addressing the fact that there are times when it will benefit you to play safe and to take the appropriate precautions. But unless you’re a daredevil, constantly risking life and limb, or have sociopathic tendencies where you’re unable to curtail certain behaviors, then I’m going to venture to guess that more often than not, you’re playing too safe.

So, take some time today and evaluate where you think you’re playing too safe in your life. Once you’ve identified an area or two, then take your foot off the brakes and move forward. You don’t have to proceed with reckless abandonment. Sure, steady steps work just as well. See and experience what life is like when you release yourself from playing too safe.

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How often do you allocate time to thinking?

Of course, I know you’re always thinking, but much of what you consider to be thinking can be chalked up to pattern recognition and reacting.

As magnificent as it is, your brain is a very lazy organ and is continuously looking for ways to conserve energy. Its goal is long-term survival, and so it creates shortcuts and automates as many tasks as possible. These shortcuts lure you into thinking you’re thinking when what you’re really doing is utilizing preset patterns.

Deep thinking is hard work, and rarely is it taught in any school curriculum. In fact, in most educational programs, quick answers and responses are rewarded, and slow thinkers are often punished or penalized for their slowness. Walk into any classroom, and you’ll see children raising their hands as fast as possible to be recognized and called on by the teacher, and this behavior continues into adulthood.

But as we all know, having an answer to a question is not the same as thinking. While rote memorization has its place, learning to think is very different.

So, how do you learn to think?

Thinking is all about exploring different ideas and options. It’s about spending time evaluating outcomes based on actions. It’s about reaching the end of the line of your current patterns so that you can build new ones. Thinking involves dancing with boredom until a new idea or thought emerges.

One of the best ways to think is with a pen and notebook. Title the page with an idea or topic you want to think about, and then let your mind wander. Jot down any and every thought that comes to mind. When you do this, you’ll quickly find that you bump up against a mental wall where you’ll feel as though you’ve exhausted all your options – this is the point where real thinking begins.

Of course, you don’t need to engage in writing every time you want or need to think, but every so often, when you have a big decision to make or need to work through a challenge, learning to think out loud aka, on paper can help you see options and bring new opportunities to light.

So, get in the habit today of thinking on paper. Carve out a few minutes to practice and continue to hone your ability to think. While it’s unfortunate that thinking is rarely taught as a class, fortunately for you, learning to think is a skill that you can learn to cultivate at any time in life.

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When is the best time to start your day?

What if I said it’s the night before?

Starting your day the night before begins with a little bit of planning that can ultimately save you time and even alleviate stress.

Your pre-day activity shouldn’t take long and might only consist of a few simple steps.

Here are a few suggestions.

First, make a short list of what you need to accomplish or work on tomorrow. This day before checklist frees your mind, which can be especially helpful when going to sleep. When you make a list, you’re moving items from your mind to paper and have less chance of forgetting what you need to do.

Next, you can think about clothing for the next day. Again, just a little prep to reduce the stress of deciding what to wear in the morning.

The last item on the list is food. Planning your breakfast, or whatever meals are essential to you, ahead of time saves you having to make decisions the day of and can also prevent you from making poor food choices.

Pre-day planning is a tool you can adopt no matter where you are in life. It’s a low investment, high returns tool that takes a few minutes to implement and can save you hours over your lifetime.

So, this evening, spend a few minutes and create a pre-day plan. Enjoy the benefit of additional time and even the decrease in stress you’ll experience tomorrow.

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When was the last time you stopped to smell the roses?

Well, maybe not actual roses, but metaphorically speaking.

Learning to acknowledge and value the meaning of an event, act, or even in some cases, an inanimate object has been shown to improve personal well-being.

Taking time to recognize and appreciate events or even objects is also a great way to avoid taking things for granted.

It’s easy to move from one accomplishment to another without taking time to stop and appreciate meaningful moments in life. But doing so can result in a feeling of burnout and being on a never-ending treadmill.

I know chasing dreams and goals, the pressure of fulfilling expectations, both yours and the ones others have imposed on you, can keep you in continuous motion with what seems like little or no time to stop and enjoy what some might consider small wins. But learning to stop is more beneficial for you in the long run. If it helps, think of stopping as a racecar driver would about a pit-stop—a brief pause to refresh and replenish yourself for the next round of activity.

So, take a moment today to stop and smell whatever roses are in your life. Think of an event, person, or even object that in the past twenty-four hours has positively influenced your life and feel a sense of appreciation for them or it. Oh, and of course, if you have access to real roses, and if you’re so inclined to do so, please do take a moment to smell them.

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Do you learn more from failure or success?

While both failure and success contain their own set of lessons, it’s almost always failure that inspires additional learning.

Why is that so?

Because success lures you into thinking you’re doing everything correctly, whereas failure reminds you that you’re not.

The sting of failure is what forces you to look for alternate paths. And it’s in the seeking of new ways of acting and doing that you begin to grow and learn.

Before I continue, let me clarify that there absolutely can be a downside to failure. Some people never recover from what could be considered catastrophic failures. Failure so significant that the individual gives up emotionally and, in some cases, even physically. Fortunately, failure on such a grand scale rarely occurs for most people.

Failure, when treated appropriately, is an opportunity to pause and reflect. Failure is an opportunity for you to improve your decision-making. It’s even an opportunity to recalibrate and, in some cases, even redefine your mission.

If you re-read the preceding paragraph, you’ll notice that I used the word opportunity several times. I did that by design because I want you to think of failure as an opportunity and not a negative event. I understand that rephrasing failure as an opportunity does not remove the emotional turmoil associated with it. But once you get through -and hopefully you will – experiencing the rollercoaster of emotions connected to failure, you’ll begin to see new opportunities arise.

So, the next time you find yourself failing at something, try to reframe it as a learning opportunity. I know it’s easier said than done, but still doable. Use your failures as stepping, no, not stepping, but learning stones on your way to success.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

How many browser tabs do you have open right now?

Wait. Before you answer, I want to modify the question.

How many browser tabs do you have open in your mind?

It’s easy to treat your mind like your devices, leaving several browser tabs open at any one time as you flit from interest to interest or thought to thought. But every once in a while, it’s good practice to clear tabs and refresh your mind, just like you do with your device.

The difference between your mind and your device is that your device lets you know that it needs an occasional update or refresh. On the other hand, your mind might send you signals that it too needs refreshing, but it’s, of course, up to you whether you heed the messages.

The messages your mind sends you that it has too many tabs open and needs refreshing might show up in the form of frustration, stress, or even anxiety and panic. When you begin to feel any of the preceding emotions, instead of plowing on and hoping they’ll disappear, learn to take a step back and pause.

Pausing or stopping when you feel overwhelmed isn’t a sign of weakness, but strength, and dare I say, even maturity. And the wonderful thing about pausing is that just like your device when you get back from break, you can always restore your tabs.

I’ll admit that it is impossible to completely turn off your mind, and that is one advantage that devices have, but that’s okay. Your version of closing tabs can be to briefly bring your full attention to one thing and be purposefully present. A mindful moment if you will. Just enough time to re-center yourself and eliminate or reduce the feeling of overwhelm.

While your mind is a wonderful instrument and can function as well as, if not better than any device, it also needs to rest and refresh. And though sleep is a great tool for resting your mind, it’s also a healthy practice to deliberately take time throughout your day to close as many mental browser tabs as possible. Doing so will allow you to distribute the mental burden of your day, resulting in you feeling more focused and refreshed.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.