Raj Daniels

How do you know what you’re capable of achieving?

How will you ever know your true potential?

You don’t and won’t unless you’re willing to push yourself.

But why would you push yourself when you can coast through life, applying as little pressure on yourself as needed?

A reason to push yourself is so that you can uncover your true, untapped potential.

But pushing yourself can be difficult and, at times, even demoralizing. But there’s a little trick you can use. Instead of pushing yourself, find something you’re interested in and allow it to pull you towards it and light your potential on fire.

So how do you find an interest that ignites your potential?

That is a good question, and there isn’t one correct answer. So, I’ll give you the best answer I have.

Continuous exposure to different and new ideas and information.

Exposing yourself to new and different ideas in today’s age of abundant and easily accessible information is much easier to do than it once was. You’re no longer bound by geography or the people you have access to. But you must be open to entertaining new ideas and take a systematic approach to do so.

Why a systematic approach?

Because while you might stumble across an idea or two during everyday living, putting a system in place will help you accelerate the number of opportunities to find your interests.

The number of new ideas and people you interact with is up to you, but the sooner you commit to doing so, the closer you’ll be to finding an interest that begins to tap into your true potential.

While you might have some physical limitations with age, it’s almost never too late to find out what you’re capable of achieving. And keep in mind, this is only about you and your ability, and you’re not comparing yourself to anyone else.

So, if you’re curious about your true potential, implement a system today that allows new ideas and information to flow into your life. Find that idea or interest that allows you to flourish and releases your untapped potential.

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How does it feel to be an influencer?

If you don’t think of yourself as an influencer, you’re not alone. Most people don’t consider themselves influencers.

But you are.

Or, perhaps more specifically, you’re an influencer and a gatekeeper for other influencers.

First let me address your role as a gatekeeper for other influencers.

You might not be aware that there’s an active campaign to influence you at all times. Companies and individuals are behind it, and most of the time, they don’t have your best interest at heart. All you represent to them is one more data point at which they can direct resources to influence you to either buy what they’re selling or hear what they have to say.

Before I go on, let me state the obvious. I, too, am attempting to influence you, but I promise I have your best interest at heart.

As for your role as an influencer.

You will always be the most influential person you’ll ever meet. This might sound like an obvious statement, but you’d be surprised to learn just how many people subjugate their own influence over themselves and instead either rely on or fall under the influence of others.

Your role as an influencer over yourself requires a level of internal strength and boldness that can, at times, be difficult to maintain. It requires you to intentionally cultivate the sources of information you expose yourself to and then use them to advance your life in the direction you want it to go.

So, as you go about your day today, pay attention to all the influencers you make yourself available to. Ask yourself if whose best interest they have in mind and curtail your exposure accordingly. Leverage your power of influence over yourself to lead the life you want to live.

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When was the last time you delegated a task to someone?

This might sound like a strange question, especially if you don’t consider yourself in a position to delegate tasks or work to another person. But delegation is more about mindset.

You see, the problem with delegation is that you were taught, maybe not explicitly, but implicitly, that it’s wrong. For about eighteen years of your life, or however long you were immersed in the education system, you’re told that you must do everything yourself, that you’re responsible for all your results. And while this might have some semblance of truth to it, it narrows your thinking.

If you study leaders of companies or organizations, you’ll quickly learn that one of their superpowers is their ability to delegate tasks. They play to their strengths and only focus on a handful of responsibilities where they can be most effective. If a leader didn’t know how to delegate, then there would only one-person organizations. Without delegation, even the schools you attended wouldn’t be able to function.

Delegating gives you the one thing that you can’t get or make more of, and that’s time. It allows you to leverage the time you have.

Now to delegate, you must be okay with not everything being done the way you’d do it. You must be able to relinquish some control. And this will be difficult at first because, remember; you’ve been ingrained to think that you must be responsible for your results. But delegating isn’t about abdicating your responsibility to results. It’s about finding new and creative ways to achieve the results you’re seeking.

Whatever your position in life, begin to learn to delegate. And yes, it might cost you some money, and you might have to make a few sacrifices in other areas of your life, but building your delegation muscle will be one of the greatest investments you’ll ever make in yourself. Because when you learn to delegate, you’ll get back time, and that is what life is made of.

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Are you more concerned about what others think of you, or what you think of yourself?

There comes the point during your journey from being a child to an adult that you realize what you say and do directly affects how others see you. And in some cases, you begin to care more about what others think of you than what you think of yourself.

Slowly and surely, over time, you begin to lose touch with who you really are and begin to perform more for the appreciation and acceptance of others. And if you continue this journey, then one day you’ll find yourself looking in a mirror, no longer concerned about how you think you look, but thinking and perhaps even judging yourself through the eyes of people you want to be accepted by.

It’s understandable to be concerned about your appearance and the impression you might make, but there’s a tipping point when if all you’re trying to do is live your life to impress others, then you’ve lost yourself.

The balancing act of accepting yourself for who you are and wanting to be seen by others in a favorable light can be difficult, especially if you’ve been surrounded by people that have given more weight to the opinions of others than their own.

Before I go on, I want to make something very clear. You can go through life just fine, continuously seeking the approval of others, but you will pay the price of never really knowing or, in extreme cases, never really being yourself. If that’s a price you’re okay with, then so be it.

However, there’s also a price for being yourself. And that is, you might not receive the approval and acceptance of people you encounter. If you’re okay with that, then you release yourself from being pushed and pulled by the thought of what others think of you.

So, the choice is yours. Go through life concerned with what others think of you or prioritize what you think of yourself. It’s not an easy one to make, but I have a feeling that at the end of your life, you’ll wish you had done one more than the other.

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Do I have your attention?

More important is, do you have your attention?

Perhaps even more important, who has your attention?

Why is your attention so important?

Because it’s the foundation of building knowledge and building your life.

Imagine for a moment that you have contracted a builder to build a house for you. They show up at the building site, and instead of pouring the entire foundation, they pour just one corner and leave.

How would you respond?

You’d probably be concerned. And rightfully so.

You know that when building a house, the entire foundation must be poured simultaneously so that it cures in one piece, which provides it the strength to support the entire structure.

Your attention works like a foundation.

If you’re trying to learn or accomplish anything worthwhile, you need to learn to pay undivided attention.

One way to learn to pay attention is to ask yourself this question.

What do I want to accomplish?

Once you ask yourself this question, then you’ll know what you should spend your time doing. By the way, the question applies not only to work or tasks but can also apply to other areas of your life. Relationships, health, and if your so inclined, you can even think about what you want to accomplish spiritually.

Always keep in mind that your attention is the force that has the ability to grow and keep alive all that is important to you. Learn to harness it so that you can build your life on a strong and sturdy foundation.

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How much time do you allocate to self-reflection?

When was the last time you carved out an hour or more to think about your life?

Look, I know you’re busy, but self-reflection is one thing that might not seem like a good use of your time but can help you better use the time you have.

Consider this for a moment. Your life is the most important possession you’ll ever own. It’s the one thing that will always be unique to you. So, doesn’t it deserve some attention?

Yes, you can pick up five or ten minutes here and there throughout your day to think about tasks and to-dos, but that’s not really self-reflection. That’s more like junk food snacks versus a good healthy meal.

Self-reflection is taking a deep look at why you do the things you do. It’s about asking yourself what you want out of life, and when possible, identifying changes or making plans to live the life you want to live.

Self-reflection is also about thinking about your feelings and attempting to understand yourself at a much deeper level. Self-reflection is, as most of the spiritual texts say, a version of ‘know thyself.’

While there are many benefits to self-reflection, a key one is that it brings awareness to your motivations and actions. It begins to reveal yourself to you. And while you might already think that you know who you are, you’ll be surprised to find out how much of what you say and do is programming you’ve picked in during the course of your life without even thinking about it.

So, if you haven’t taken time recently to self-reflect on your life, then I strongly recommend you find some time on your calendar to do so. The worst thing that can happen is that you spend an hour or two thinking about your life and then decide it’s not something you want to do again. The upside is you realize just how disconnected you’ve been from who you really are and decide to harness the reins of your mind and drive it towards living a more intentional life.

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What do you expect but no longer value?

Or, said differently, you forget to show appreciation for what you value.

There are some simple creature comforts that I’m sure you value. Clean water, electricity, safe, inexpensive food are a few examples of things that you probably value but can very easily be taken for granted.

And then there are people in your life that you expect to act and behave in ways that please you, but you take their actions for granted.

It’s easy to get caught up in your daily activities and forget that so much of what you value and take for granted is not readily available to everyone.

I know you don’t disregard or take your life conditions for granted on purpose; it just happens over time because it’s normal life to you.  And that’s okay. But you can occasionally pause to show appreciation.

Showing appreciation for the things you take for granted and value doesn’t have to be an over-the-top action. You don’t have to go down to your local water company and thank them individually unless, of course, you want to. You can simply remind yourself how fortunate you are and mentally appreciate all the systems and people working hard to provide you with your basic comforts.

As for the people that are closest to you, the ones you expect the most from. How you show them that you value them is up to you but do so occasionally. Again, you probably don’t need any elaborate gestures, just a simple thank you, or telling them that you value what they do for you can go a long way.

So, as you go through your day today, think about some things and people that you’ve become accustomed to but no longer value. Pause and consider what your life would look like if they no longer meet your expectations. Hopefully, this little prompt will allow you to feel and perhaps even express gratitude for everything and everyone that’s constantly and often without recognition, meeting your expectations.

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How good are you at managing your expectations?

Before I go on, let me ask another question.

Why do you think expectations exist?

Research shows that expectations exist because we are egocentric and tend to believe that the world does and should revolve around us. And it takes some of us longer than others to realize that this is not true.

The organization, Alcoholics Anonymous, has a book as part of their treatment plan, and the following is a paragraph from their book.

“Expectations are Premeditated Resentments. When you find yourself feeling resentment, you can almost always trace it back to your expectations. Usually it indicates that you tried once again to control or manipulate a situation or outcome and was resentful when it didn’t turn out the way you expected.”

Let that sink in for a moment.

Expectations are premeditated resentments.

Managing your expectations is about mitigating and, in some cases, eliminating disappointment and, as the AA book says, resentment.

When you find yourself angry, annoyed, disappointed, or any other number of negative emotions towards a situation, you can almost always pin it on the fact that your view of how things should be didn’t match the reality of the event.

Does this mean you shouldn’t have expectations?

I’m tempted to say yes, but I know that’s unreasonable.

If you’re human, you’re going to have expectations, some more than others. But how you manage them will be unique to you. And while I can’t give you a direct solution or panacea for managing your expectations, I can suggest grace.

Grace towards your own expectations towards yourself and those times when events and people in your life don’t meet your expectations. If you’re wondering why grace, then let me share the best definition I’ve found. Showing grace to others is about showing kindness even when they don’t deserve it.

So, as you go about your day today and you happen to come across a person, or event that collides with your expectations, remember, you can choose to manage your expectations. You can rebel, get angry, annoyed, or frustrated, which might feel good at that moment, but rarely lead to a positive outcome. Or you can choose to show grace, both for yourself and the event. Remember, how you manage your expectations will always be your choice.

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What do you think of when you hear the word resigned?

If you’re like most people, then you probably think of it in the context of a person resigning from a job.

But there’s another meaning too.

Some people feel resigned towards life. They feel or accept that something unwanted or unpleasant will happen or cannot be changed. They’ve lost hope.

How do you know if you’re resigned towards life?

You begin to show signs of not caring anymore.

You begin to go through the motions of life without any enthusiasm or optimism. You give up the agency of your life and subject yourself to the whims and wishes of others.

You feel as though you have no choices and that what you think and feel no longer matters.

Feeling resigned towards your life is a sad and, in some cases, dangerous place to be.

So how do you avoid feeling resigned towards life?

One obvious answer is to seek the help of a professional counselor. But even if you do decide to get help, it’s a partnership, and ultimately you will have to uphold your end of the deal and begin to work on yourself.

You can begin to work on yourself by small acts of self-care and concern for your own well-being. When you take small steps, you begin to realize that you do have control and can make choices about a few things in your life. Once this realization sinks in, then you can begin to use the momentum to take back agency over your life.

So, if you find yourself sliding down the precarious slope of resignation towards life, begin to dig your heels in. Start by identifying a few things you know you can control and then build on them. Hopefully, you’ll shift from feeling resigned towards life to retaking ownership of your life by taking these steps.

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How often do you second-guess yourself?

Should I have done more?

 Should I be doing this?

 Did I do the right thing?

I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m second-guessing myself right now about whether I should be writing about second-guessing. But I’ve decided to do so and am going with it.

You see, almost everyone experiences some form of second-guessing themselves. And those that say they don’t are either not telling the truth or are missing an important component of being human.

Second-guessing yourself is nothing more than self-doubt about a decision you’ve already made. And the unfortunate reality about decisions is that they can only really be evaluated in hindsight.

Some decisions are obviously more difficult to undo than others and should be treated accordingly. For example, choosing a career path will have a greater impact on your life when compared to what you choose to have for dinner today. But in the grand scheme of things, if you feel as though you’ve made an error in either one, then in the future, you can make a different decision.

When you find yourself second-guessing yourself, don’t view it as a negative or something wrong with you. A certain level of introspection is healthy, but don’t drive yourself crazy by constantly ruminating over decisions you’ve made, because after all, they now reside in the past. And all you really have control over is the present.

So, the next time you find yourself second-guessing a decision you made, stop for a moment and ask yourself if you made the best decision you could have based on the information you had. If you did, then great. There’s no need to continue to second guess yourself. If you didn’t, then don’t start by beating yourself up over your decision. Instead, view it as an opportunity for self-improvement.

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When was the last time sat down to draw?

When was the last time you painted a picture?

When was the last time you wrote a story?

One of the downsides of adulthood is that unless you’re paid to be creative, activities like painting, drawing, and writing quickly take a backseat for a couple of reasons.

First, they are considered children’s or childlike activities, and second, they require time, so they get deprioritized because you have more ‘important’ tasks on your to-do list.

But these activities that are thought to be only for children are fulfilling and also satisfying for adults. Studies have repeatedly shown the benefits of creativity towards the physical and mental well-being of adults.

Tapping into your childlike creativity is one sure way to open your mind to new ideas. It allows you to explore beyond your everyday routines.

Often, an obstacle to adults being creative is they harken back to their childhood where they judged their creativity against the work of their peers and felt their work didn’t meet a certain standard. And while these feelings might be legitimate, there’s no reason to feel that way as an adult. As an adult, you do not need to publish or show your work to anyone unless you want to.

One of the benefits of being an adult is that hopefully, you have or can find a space to be creative in private. You’re no longer under the watchful eye of a teacher and worried about what grade you’ll receive. And perhaps even more important, there are no peers to judge yourself against. It’s just you and your creative outlet. Of your course, you can share your work if you choose to, but you’re not required to do so.

I hope that you knowing you need not publish your work allows you to explore the natural creativity you once had as a child. And you begin to enjoy and reap the physical and mental benefits that creativity can bring to your life.

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What kind of questions will you ask yourself today?

Why would you ask yourself questions?

That’s a good question.

The purpose of the questions you ask yourself is not to interrogate, judge or punish yourself. They are gentle reminders about the way you want to live your life. To ensure that you’re on the right track.

What’s the right track?

Whatever track you choose to be on.

For example, if you want to be healthy, then the following questions might be a useful way to start your day.

What will I eat today?

How much do I weigh?

Will I exercise today?

Or you can end your day with:

What did I eat today?

Did I exercise today?

If these questions seem a lot like planning and journaling, it’s because they are. But unlike journaling, and nothing against it, consider them to be a little less formal.

At times journaling for some can sound a lot like hard work, and often, anything that adds additional work to a day will soon be left behind. But a list of questions that you’ve written down or stored on a smart device can be gentle prompts to remind you of the things that are important to you. And don’t forget, you’re in charge and can add or change your questions whenever you choose.

Now the idea of questioning yourself might seem to be an overly simplistic way to move you towards want you want to accomplish, and that’s because it is. But there’s also magic in the simplicity.

So, the next time you think about something you want to accomplish, think about questions that will help you get there.  Let your questions be your guide to living the life you choose to live.

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What does it mean to be prepared?

If you’re familiar with the Boy Scouts, you know that ‘be prepared’ is their motto. But what does it mean to be prepared?

Does being prepared mean you’re ready for every challenge, obstacle, and situation? No, because that’s not possible.

Does being prepared mean you have all the answers? That’s not possible either.

Being prepared is more of a mindset. It’s practice and preparation for what might happen and a sense of confidence, a knowing that you are as ready as you can be for the unknown.

Being prepared is not a one-time action but a continuous investment in yourself. It’s learning and adapting to ever-changing times.

Being prepared applies to both your physical and mental well-being, so both are ready and available when you need them to be.

What does it take to be prepared?

It takes time. Although not too much.

Think of being prepared like the quote by Benjamin Franklin, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”.

How you decide to prepare will be unique to your own set of life circumstances, and while you can glean ideas from others, you should focus your time on what you think will work for you.

So, consider adopting the Boy Scout motto and begin to prepare yourself for your life ahead. If you start with preparing yourself for the foreseeable future, you might find yourself better prepared to tackle the unforeseeable future too.

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How do you get results?

Or, perhaps more important, how do you get the results you want?

Results are always a consequence of action. Or, in some cases, inaction, which is also an action.

Seem too obvious?

Maybe so.

But it’s important to recognize.

If results are a consequence of action, and you’re interested in specific results, you should be more attentive to your actions.

You see, your actions are data. They are information. And it’s from your action that you can gather insights into what works and doesn’t work for you, which leads us to actionable insights.

Actionable insights have been called the missing links between data and results. While this mostly occurs in a business context, it’s just as relevant in your personal life.

But who has time to sit around gathering data about their personal life?

Yes, I know you’re busy and have so much going on. But if you’re seeking specific results in your life, you must learn to gather data about your behavior and habits. Only then, once you have the data, will you able to glean actionable insights, which in turn will enable you to move closer towards the results you’re looking for.

If gathering data about yourself sounds like work, it’s because it is. But it’s work that is worth investing in, especially if it moves you to change or rethink your current actions for ones that help you achieve specific results.

So, if you’re seeking certain results in your life, then spend some time evaluating your current actions. Gather the data and evaluate it on a moving towards or away from the results you’re seeking scale. And then use your insights as steppingstones towards the results you’re seeking.

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When was the last time you built something?

By the way, it’s a trick question.

The reason it’s a trick question is whether you realize it or not; you’re in the process of assembling or building regularly. You are building your life.

The real question is, how intentional are you about building your life?

Are you in full-on participatory mode, or are you more hands-off, letting others do it for you?

While there’s nothing wrong with delegating tasks or seeking assistance in building your life, there’s a great benefit to you if you take a more active role.

Of course, you aren’t always responsible for building your life, since as a child, your parents and other adults were responsible for providing you with a foundation. But once they were done, it became your responsibility to build your life.

The transition from when others built your life to when you became responsible can be difficult, especially if you weren’t taught to build for yourself. In which case, you continue to look for others to build your life for you. But there comes a time in everyone’s life when the realization sets in that they had more agency than they thought they did. Hopefully, for you, it comes sooner than later.

Building the life you want requires attention, diligence, and persistence. And just like any other building project, especially one of any significance, there will be challenges and mistakes along the way. And it’s your job to catch, mitigate or resolve the challenges.

During the process of building your life, it’s your job to ensure you have the right tools and resources to do so. And when you don’t, then find ways to get them. This could mean enrolling or asking people to help you or educating yourself on the matters that mean the most to you.

So, as you step into your day today, remind yourself that participating in the assembly is required if you want to live the life you want. Then put on your mental overalls, grab your toolkit, and gather or create the plan for your life. Begin to take intentional steps towards building your life.

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What happens to stagnant water?

Well, if you’re familiar with or have seen pools or puddles of water that have been sitting for a while, then you know that soon enough, the water begins to smell and, in some cases, attract flies and other insects.

Why am I asking about stagnant water?

Because a stagnant mind is very similar to stagnant water.

A mind that doesn’t allow for new ideas and remains stuck in the past, holding on to ideas and ideals that are no longer valid, is also in danger of becoming stagnant.

How do you know if your mind is becoming stagnant?

When you don’t allow for any new experiences or ideas to permeate it. When all you do is seek people and ideas that confirm what you already think. When you play it safe and no longer seek out new experiences. When you become more concerned with just surviving and are no longer engaged in living.

Now there are no laws against having a stagnant mind, but is that how you really want to live?

If yes, then fine. But if not, then it’s not too late to get your mind flowing again.

Avoiding stagnation of your mind doesn’t need to be a daunting task. All you need to do is intentionally introduce adventurous and creative activities into your routine or schedule.

Being adventurous doesn’t mean you have to engage in mountain climbing or skydiving unless, of course, you want to. For you, adventurous might be as simple as speaking with a stranger, especially one with a different viewpoint of life than you do. And as for creativity, it can be found in simple tasks such as cooking unfamiliar foods or writing a short story.

So, if you don’t want your mind to become stagnant, open it up and let new ideas and experiences flow through it. Doing so will allow you to live your life and not just survive it.

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What if, just for today you only focused on small wins?

Nothing big, no monumental goals or tasks, no huge effort, just a few small wins.

Research shows that one of the best boosters of positive emotions is the feeling of making progress. But it’s difficult to feel as though you’re making progress if all you’re doing is measuring up against a large goal.

Identifying and focusing on a small win is a great step towards overcoming procrastination. This is especially useful if there’s a task that you’ve been avoiding, either because you don’t enjoy doing it or you feel like it’s beyond your current ability.

Accomplishing small wins can also help build your confidence. Think of a child learning to walk. The first few attempts are clumsy at best, but then as their legs gain strength, the steps come a little easier, and before you know it, they’re running all over the place.

While identifying and accomplishing small wins is a great start, acknowledging and celebrating small wins is just as important. The reason is that this helps you reinforce your own behavior. Yes, it’s Pavlovian, but it also works. The celebration doesn’t have to be outsized or even out loud, of course, unless you want to. Something as simple as even a ‘mental’ pat on your back for your accomplishment can give you the motivation to continue.

So, as you go about your day today, instead of feeling overwhelmed with all the large grand tasks ahead of you, focus only on small wins. Take baby steps and celebrate yourself for doing so. If you repeat this often enough then, you’ll find yourself well on your way to accomplishing goals that once might have intimidated you.

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When does change begin?

It begins when an individual is no longer willing to accept the world as it is. Change is often born of desperation or frustration.

Why am I telling you this?

Because if you’re experiencing desperation or frustration in your life, then view them as clues or signs that you need to do something different in your life. You need to change.

I know need is a strong word and even perhaps incorrect. You don’t need to change, but not doing so is akin to having a small rock in your shoe and refusing to remove it because it would take effort. All the while knowing that it’s going to bother and maybe even injure you as you walk.

Now you don’t need to change every time you feel frustrated. Sometimes it’s just part of life, but when you find yourself constantly aggravated by the same or similar situation, it might be time to consider changing yourself or the position you’re in.

Change requires hope, it requires optimism, it might even require sacrifices on your behalf, but most of all, it requires effort, and that’s why it’s difficult to do. And while it might be difficult, it’s not impossible.

So, the next time your find yourself repeatedly feeling frustrated with a situation in your life, instead of just living with the emotion, learn to leverage it. Consider your frustration as an opportunity to say no or never again. Find a way to use it to your advantage and think about how you can change yourself or the situation that will allow you to remove the rock from your life once and for all.

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How often do you stop to ask yourself, why am I doing this?

If you let it, this question can give you much insight into your life.

You can use it as a tool, as a scalpel, to dissect your actions and interrupt patterns of behavior you want to change.

Here are few examples of how you can use the question to assess your actions.

Why am I eating this?

Why am I wearing these clothes?

Why am I reading this?

Why am I feeling this way?

I could go on, but I’m sure you get the drift.

It’s easy to get caught up in life and go along to get along, not realizing that so much of what you’re doing is not because you’ve taken agency over your life. Instead, you’ve fallen into patterns of repetitious behavior. And while behavior patterns are useful, they can also be limiting.

When you bump up against a problem or challenge in life you resort to using the limited arrows in your behavior quiver, and when they don’t work is when you become anxious, frustrated, or annoyed. Asking yourself, why am I doing this, allows you to explore different ways of framing your situation and in some cases adding additional tools to your emotional arsenal.

I agree that too much navel-gazing or introspection can make you overly absorbed in yourself, but a little time spent evaluating your life can go a long way especially if there are changes, you’d like to make.

So, the next time you find yourself looking to make a change in your life or up against a challenge, instead of rushing to change, or running headfirst into the challenge, ask yourself, why am I doing this? Explore the reasons for your need to change, use the question to give yourself a fresh perspective, and open yourself up to new ideas and solutions.

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