Uitwaaien

Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work through difficult problems. Gever Tulley

Uitwaaien is the Dutch practice of jogging or walking into the wind, especially in the winter, for the purpose of feeling invigorated while relieving stress and boosting one’s general health.

Imagine jogging or walking into the wind and using the feeling of the wind’s resistance to invigorate one’s self.

Do know that airplanes’ ideal conditions to take off and land are when they do so, into the wind. An airplane uses the wind’s resistance to provide them the lift that keeps them afloat.

Sailboats use the wind’s resistance to assist them in tacking, moving in a zigzag motion towards their destination.

In nature, trees become strong and resilient growing into the wind.

What do you when you face headwinds in life?

Do you lean in, avoid, or run away?

Avoiding or running away from headwinds in life does very little to test your character. In comparison, leaning in shows you what you’re made of and can also strengthen and better prepare for the next headwind you face.

Before I continue, let me clarify that I’m not recommending you run towards tornadoes or any other life-threatening situations. But every so often, when you do face a headwind, be like the Dutch, lean in, and run towards it. Use the headwind to become more resilient and, in some cases, even to provide you the lift you need to become a stronger version of yourself.

P.S. For those of you reading this, you might be aware that I started this blog as inspirational and motivational messages to my daughters. The interesting irony about today’s blog post is that I learned the word Uitwaaien a couple of days ago from my middle daughter Ashna. So, Ashna, I’m not sure when you’ll read this but thank you, and I love you always.

P, P.S. As always, thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

Stress Testing

How often do you stress test yourself?

Now you might be asking, why would I want to stress myself? And it’s a valid question. But I have an answer for you, to build resiliency.

The military conducts war games, scenarios in which they run simulations of how they would respond to enemy attacks. Companies run red-teaming exercises, models of how they would respond to cyber-attacks, and even in some cases, what they would do if competitors moved into their market. Both the military and companies perform these exercises, not in the hopes but to build resiliency just in case these events occur.

Another form of stress testing is exercise. Exercise is the intentional act of stressing your body either under weights so that your muscles don’t atrophy or via a cardio exercise to maintain or increase your heart and respiration system’s strength.

Your ability to navigate stressful situations can be a superpower that you can cultivate for yourself. Still, to do so, you must be willing to expose yourself to stressful situations or learn stress management techniques.

When I suggest exposing yourself to stressful situations, I don’t mean to put yourself in harm’s way. I am suggesting that you don’t shirk away from situations or events that might cause you to feel uncomfortable or even scare you a little. Depending on your personality, speaking to a stranger or taking a walk when the weather is less than desirable can both be stressful situations, but with a little practice, you can build resiliency to both.

Practice dosing yourself with small amounts of stress regularly, and over time, I can almost guarantee your resiliency and confidence will grow. Just like nature is exposed to the elements and flourishes under the weather’s stress, you too can grow and flourish under a regular regimen of stress testing yourself.

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Victim of Circumstance

One can choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances.
Viktor E. Frankl

How much time do you spend being a victim of circumstances?

Let me start by saying that I absolutely agree that there are some circumstances that you cannot avoid, from the weather to macro politics and so much in between. But the point at which we might part ways is that I believe how you deal with or respond to a circumstance is up to you, especially if you’re steeped well into adulthood.

As a child growing up, it’s difficult to avoid being a victim of circumstances because much of your decision making is out of your hands. But once you enter the independence of adulthood, then you begin to experience opportunities to decide how you’ll respond to circumstances.

Let me also recognize that it’s challenging to break free from the training wheels of how you were raised, and changing or paving over the indelible markings of the environment you were raised in can be a lifelong effort.

Shifting from being a victim of circumstance to a master of circumstance requires you first to be honest with yourself about the things you can control. And the top of that list and most important is your mindset. And since it’s the most important, that’s where you should focus most of your energy.

So, the next you get the feeling of being a victim of circumstances, begin with differentiating between what you can and cannot control. Once you’ve identified the few things you can control in your life, then drive your energy towards them and let the rest go.

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Choose Your Belief

In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.
- John Lilly

What do you choose to believe?

What do you choose to believe about other people, about life, and perhaps most important, about yourself?

If your mental gears are grinding and you feel yourself pushing back at my question, then I’ve done my job.

Although there are some universal beliefs, such as gravity, temperature, etc., essentially a handful of things that science has repeatedly proven that we, collectively, have decided to agree on, the rest of the beliefs held by most people are just stories.

Now I’m not downplaying stories at all. In fact, I’ve come to believe, yes, I see the irony, that there’s very little in life that’s as important as a good story. Stories have the power to inspire, to manipulate, and to change the entire course of history, which they very often do.

So, if beliefs are just stories, what stories are you telling yourself?

And no, not all stories begin with once upon a time. The best ones begin right in the middle of the plot and then build around it. Think for a moment how you do this in your own mind. You experience an incident or situation, and then your mind goes to work writing a narrative about why it happened. And your mind is an expert at manufacturing evidence to support the story it’s writing.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that some of the things you experience aren’t really happening to you. It’s just that it’s challenging for anyone to really have an objective viewpoint because we all view life through the lens of our own individual experience and history.

So, be cautious in your beliefs. Occasionally evaluate them to see if they’re allowing you to live the life you want or if they’re holding you back. And keep in mind they’re your beliefs, and what you believe is a choice you make. And you can, whenever you want to, choose to tell yourself a new story.

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Mundane

Small disciplines repeated with consistency every day lead to great achievements gained slowly over time. John C. Maxwell

How well do you handle mundane tasks?

While this might sound counterintuitive, your ability to handle mundane or boring tasks is one of the keys to your long-term success.

Goals and dreams have shiny veneers that draw you towards them, but the steps required to reach them can often be boring because in many cases there’s a lot of repetition involved. For example, if you were to ask a professional athlete about their workout routine or their nutritional plan you would find that once they identify what works for them, they stick with it until it no longer works.

Consistency in any area of life can very quickly become boring, and that’s when most people begin to give up on their goals, the repetition wears them down. Those that learn to stick with their plans and work through the uninteresting and repetitive nature that is part of the dream pursuit journey are very often the ones that achieve their goals.

Working through the mundane everyday repetition can be challenging, especially if you have the kind of personality that is always seeking the new and novel, but it’s a skill you need to learn if you want to increase your probability of accomplishing any meaningful goal. One of the ways to help you work through the boredom of consistency is to remind yourself of your goal on a regular basis. Essentially keeping your ‘why’ front and center.

So, the next time you find yourself struggling through the boring tasks that need to be done for you to accomplish a goal that is meaningful to you, remind yourself why you started out on the journey and stick with them. Think of the monotony and repetition as required rungs on a ladder, each one helping you reach a new level in life.

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Miscommunication

Miscommunication leads to misunderstanding, which rarely leads to anything good. — Charles F. Glassman

What exactly are we discussing?

Can you please clarify what you mean by that?

Let’s agree on a definition before we continue.

Quite often, miscommunication with someone begins when you don’t agree on the definition of a word or idea. The problem occurs when you and the other person mistakenly think you’re discussing the same idea, but you’re not aligned on the definition.

One of the reasons lawyers write what seem to be complicated agreements and contracts is that they want to be as clear as possible about the definition of every word or concept in the document. They do this to prevent any future confusion between what is written and what is understood.

A way to prevent miscommunication is to find a way to agree on the definition of words or ideas either before you begin a discussion, or if you feel as though you and the person, you’re speaking with are just talking past each other, then pause for a moment and ask the other person to clarify their position just to ensure that you’re speaking about the same thing.

While asking or clarifying definitions of words and ideas is by no means a panacea for all problems, it can help. For starters, it shows empathy and that you’re interested in hearing what the person you’re speaking with really has to say, and sometimes showing a little empathy can go a long way.

So, the next time you find yourself on a slippery slope heading towards a heated discussion, or you’re in a conversation spiraling towards an argument, pause for a moment and attempt to clarify the topic at hand. Learning this skill might help you eliminate many unnecessary arguments and even improve or save some relationships.

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Holding a Grudge

To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it. ― Confucius

How long should you hold a grudge?

An hour, a week, a month, a lifetime?

How much energy does it take to hold a grudge?

Think about it for a moment. To hold a grudge, you must spend energy reminding yourself of how you were wronged by the person you’re holding a grudge against. That’s mental energy you’re spending on someone that may or may not care or even know that you’re holding a grudge against them.

Holding a grudge is the mental equivalent of carrying a heavy backpack around with you while you go about your day. At first, you feel the weight of the backpack but eventually, you get used to it and don’t realize just how heavy it is until you put it down.

Now I’m not suggesting you become a benevolent doormat and allow people to walk all over you without recourse. And to prevent becoming a doormat, you can set your rules and boundaries of the behavior you will and will not accept from others.

Letting go of a grudge can be difficult, especially if you keep replaying to yourself the action the person took or perhaps how they disrespected you but try to keep in mind that how you think you should be treated is your own rules, and not the rules that others play by. They have their own rules they live by.

So, the next time you find yourself offended by the actions of another, remind yourself that holding a grudge against that person is a choice you’re making. And the reality is that the grudge your holding is a story you’re continuously telling yourself and you can if you choose, change the story, and drop the grudge anytime you want to.

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Decision Fatigue

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. Tony Robbins

How many decisions can you eliminate today?

Some sources suggest that the average person makes about 35,000 decisions per day. While this number might sound high, even if you half it, that’s still 17,000 decisions a day. And although it might not be obvious at first, every one of those decisions leads to a choice that carries consequences. Now while the consequences for each decision don’t carry equal weight, the sheer number of decisions do carry a cognitive load and require you to spend energy thinking about them.

So how can you eliminate or even automate some of your decisions?

Well, one way is to set rules for yourself. Think about it for a moment. If you set a rule about the food you eat or the clothes you’ll wear, then you eliminate that decision. Eliminating what could be considered, trivial decisions free up your mind, or your cognitive capacity to focus on other, potentially bigger, or more important decisions.

Another way to eliminate decisions is to delegate or let others make them for you. This can be tricky especially if you’re one of those people that needs to be in control. One of the best ways to see if this works for you is to have someone you trust to make a few, not so important, decisions for you. While you might recoil at the idea of someone else making decisions for you, if you think about it, when you seek medical or legal advice, you are in some cases asking others you believe are more qualified than you to help you make life-changing decisions.

So, as you go through your day today, think about decisions that you can set rules for, outsource, or eliminate. Work on freeing up your mind so that you can spend more energy focusing on the big decisions in life. After all, your entire life is based on the decisions you make.

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It’s Not You, It’s Me

Our only security is our ability to change. – John Lilly

How do you handle the gap between how the world is and how you want it to be?

Navigating the difference between how things are and how you’d prefer them to be is one of the greatest life skills you can develop. But it’s not an easy skill to learn.

By the way, before I go on, let me point out the obvious. The gap between how life is versus how you want it to be is and will forever be your greatest source of frustration. I use the word frustration, but that’s only the tip of the emotional snowball, which if not controlled can and will develop into a whole slew of negative emotions.

So how do you handle the gap between how things are and how you wish them to be?

Change your perspective.

I’m almost sure this isn’t the answer you’re looking for, but I guarantee that in many cases, changing your perspective will very quickly eliminate the dissonance you’re experiencing. Obviously, changing your perspective is not a panacea broad-brush solution for every issue, but it can be very helpful, especially for trivial issues.

Think of changing your perspective as the old breaking-up meme, it’s not you, it’s me.

Instead of blaming others, or the ‘outer’ world for situations that aren’t how you wish them to be, take ownership and reframe your own perspective. Remind yourself, it’s not them, it’s you. Let me be clear, this is not a license for you to take the blame or victimize yourself for every mishap that you encounter. It’s a tool to help you alleviate some of life’s petty frustrations.

So, the next time you find yourself getting worked up over how you wish things were versus how they are, try changing your perspective by reminding yourself, it’s you, not them. And while this tool won’t help you solve some of life’s bigger problems, it might just help you make it through another day.

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Set Your Standards

Raise your standards and you will rise along with them. Mastin Kipp

What are your personal standards?

If you haven’t thought about what your personal standards are, not to worry, you’re not alone.

Setting standards for your life is akin to setting your own personal code of ethics. Setting standards essentially means what you expect and accept from yourself. And yes, while it might be tempting to set standards for others, it’s almost impossible to do so.

Before I go on, let me clarify what I mean by standards. Standards in this context is a level of quality or attainment.

So how do you set standards for yourself?

Well, it all depends on what you want out of your life.

For example, if you want to be an honest person, then you set the standard of being honest and truthful. It’s that simple, yet obviously not easy. Oh, and the other kicker is that if you want to be honest, you cannot spend time with dishonest people because if you know they’re being dishonest then you’re complicit in their action.

The great thing about setting standards for yourself is that they are subject to change. While you might have a standard to two that you learn earlier in life, for example, not to physically harm another person, you can add, adjust, and elevate your standards as you mature in life.

Standards can apply in all areas of your life, from how you treat your body, to how you treat others, and what kind of treatment you’ll accept from others.

Think of setting standards for yourself not as constraints but as guiding principals that provide you direction, similar to how guy wires are used to give young trees support and direction.

So, consider setting standards for yourself in any area of life that’s important to you. Use them as tools to help you become the person you want to be.

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Uncertainty

Uncertainty is the only certainty there is. John Allen Paulos

How do you deal with uncertainty?

Does uncertainty paralyze you from moving forward?

Do you wish it didn’t exist?

Dealing with uncertainty is challenging because as humans we care about our wellbeing, or said differently, our existence. Since we long for safety, uncertainty is threatening to us.

Now, of course, there is a spectrum of uncertainty. For example, driving a car for most adults in the Western world no longer holds the threat it once did, whereas putting those same adults in the middle of a jungle where the native citizens thrive and suddenly there’s a lot of uncertainty.

One of the keys to coping with uncertainty is to not resist uncertainty but to accept it. Keep in mind that while acceptance might sound like a passive act, it isn’t. Acceptance is an intentional act that you control. Acceptance also doesn’t mean that you don’t take actions that will help you navigate your future; it just means you accept what is happening at this moment that you can’t change.

Another way to deal with uncertainty is to remind yourself that the uncertainty only lives in your mind. Keep in mind that the future hasn’t happened yet, so your feeling of uncertainty is your thoughts telling you what may or may not occur. While not believing your thoughts is not always an easy task, with practice you can learn to bring yourself back to the present moment and again, accept it for what it is.

So, the next time you find yourself anxiously thinking about an uncertain future, activate your sense of control and take agency of your thinking. Accept the present moment for what it is, and don’t believe your every thought about the future. And remember, it’s often the uncertainty in life that makes it exciting.

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Turning Radius

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. Socrates

Do you know that the radius for turning an oil supertanker that’s chugging along in the ocean can be more than two miles?

Why is it important that you know this fact?

Honestly, it’s not. But I’m sharing this information with you to illustrate a point.

If you’ve been moving in a particular direction in life and you attempt to change direction, it might take some time for you to do so. Especially if you’re further along in life. The reason is momentum. So, just like the oil tanker, you’re going to need to give yourself room to turn around.

What will be your turning radius?

How long will it take you to change direction?

Well, that will depend on your own individual genetic makeup and the change you’re attempting to make.

Some changes that you’re attempting to make might come easier to you than others just based on your personality. For example, attempting to quit a long-held habit might be easier for you than deciding to change jobs or relationships.

When you’re thinking about making a change in your life you should keep in mind that it rarely takes effect immediately and is not linear. Referring to the turning radius of the supertanker for a moment. Even during the turn, it’s making continuous corrections and is often off course until it sets off in its new direction. You too will experience a ‘messy middle’ as you make your way to your new direction.

So, the next time you attempt to make a change in your life, think of the supertanker. If your about-turn takes you more time than you anticipated, stick with it. Make course corrections along the way as you navigate obstacles and don’t give up. Soon enough you too will find yourself heading in a new direction.

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Interconnected

There's no separation between self and other, and everything is interconnected. Once you are aware of that you are no longer caught in the idea that you are a separate entity. Thich Nhat Hanh

Do you believe that we’re all interconnected?

If you don’t then you can stop reading this and move on with your day.

But, if you do, then let’s carry on.

At first, this might sound farfetched, but that’s why I asked you if you believe we’re interconnected. You see, you can go through life just fine not believing that we’re interconnected and that you’re an individual unit that spontaneously appeared on this earth. And yes, I’m being flippant, or tongue in cheek, whatever the correct phrase is, but I’m trying to make a point.

You can trace your ancestry or lineage as far back as you can and eventually conclude that we all evolved from the same pair of bipeds roaming the plains of Africa.

So why am I harping on about being interconnected?

I’m doing so because being interconnected implies that the way you treat others affects you too. Now you might not see or realize the effects right away, but somewhere in this vast expanse of time, you will see or experience the repercussions of your actions.

On the flip side of the coin, it also means that how you treat yourself will affect others too. Yes, chew on that for a moment.

Now I know the reality is that there are very few Saints among us, and even some that we think are Saints have stains on their reputations. So, I’m not expecting any saintly behavior from you, or me.

But what I am suggesting is as you go through life, be a bit more cognizant of the way you treat people.

As you go through your days and you interact with people, give them a little more grace, perhaps some latitude for what you might consider maliciousness towards you or mistakes they make. To be clear, I don’t want you to become someone’s emotional punching bag. But learn to lead with compassion. If you’ve read this far then somewhere deep inside you there might be a belief that we are all interconnected, so going forward, live your life as if we are.

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Seek Feedback

Iron sharpens iron , and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

How often do you seek feedback?

How do you improve your skills?

Seeking and asking for feedback is one of the best ways to improve your skills, whatever they might be. Asking for feedback is important because, without it, you’re left to judge your own abilities. And while you might be a good judge of your skills, it’s difficult not to be unbiased towards yourself.

One of the keys to seeking or asking for feedback is that you don’t or shouldn’t ask for it from any and everyone you know. The people closest to you might not be willing or even qualified to provide you with feedback, or they might be overly critical and certain boundaries might be crossed since they know you so well.

The best way to get feedback is to seek out other professionals or individuals that have the skills you’re trying to develop, or improve, and ask them for their unbiased opinion. Yes, in some cases you might have to pay for their time, but this might make their feedback even more valuable to you.

Seeking feedback is not a mandatory part of life, but if you’re actively looking to improve any skill that you have then asking for and receiving feedback is probably the best, and in some cases, the fastest way to improve.

So, if improving areas of your life are important to you, then begin seeking feedback today. At first, hearing that you’re not as good as you think you are or like to be, might be a difficult pill to swallow. But once you learn to accept that you are where you are, then there’s nothing but improvement in front of you. And that’s what you’re aiming for.

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Results Are Lagging Indicators

You don't get results by focusing on results. You get results by focusing on the actions that produce results. Mike Hawkins

When do you see a result?

If you said or thought, after an action occurs, then you’re correct.

But how long after an action is taken to do you see a result?

Well, that depends on the result you’re looking for.

If you take step, then you’ll move forward. Action, result. It happens quickly.

The one thing all results have in common is that they’re lagging indicators. A lagging indicator is a fancy economical term that essentially says that there is an observable or measurable factor that changes or is correlated to an economical or financial event.

Now the challenge with results being lagging indicators is that most major changes in your life happen incrementally. This means you must stick with an action long enough before you see the results. And this is where most people give up on change. They think the actions they’re taking are in vain because the results aren’t readily noticeable. But if you go back to the basic principles of physics then you’ll remember that there can be no action without a reaction.

When you’re seeking to make a change in your life, you must be willing to wade through the mire of uncertainty long enough before you begin to see the results of the change you’re making. A good example of this is that when you first start working out, you don’t walk into a gym with muscles, your muscles develop after spending time in the gym.

So, the next time you’re thinking about making a change in your life, especially a major one, keep in mind that the results you’re looking for might not show up for a while. Have faith in knowing that your actions aren’t going unnoticed and that although they’re lagging, eventually you will begin to see results.

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Unsettle Your Mind

 If you never change your mind, why have one - Edward de Bono

How often do you work on unsettling your mind?

While there’s a lot of talk and literature regarding mindset, unsettling of the mind is often overlooked. But in my opinion, unsettling your mind is just as important as working on your mindset.

In order to accept new ideas, you must be willing to change your current way of thinking, and this can be difficult because you have to admit that you’re wrong. You must come to terms with the notion that the information you base your thinking on is either incorrect or out of date.

Why is changing your mind, or opinions and views so hard to do? It’s because they are the foundation of your identity.

There’s a high probability that the older you get the more difficult it is for you to change your mind regarding certain subjects. The reason for this is that you begin to justify your success or your longevity in life with your way of thinking, but the problem with this kind of justification is that you don’t get to go back in time and run a parallel experiment. You don’t know how different your life could have been if you had thought differently.

Now I’m not recommending that you become fickle and change your mind on a whim based on any new information you receive, or the opinions of others. What I am suggesting is that you be flexible and open to evaluating new information and be willing to change your mind and unsettle your current way of thinking.

So, the next time you’re presented with information that challenges your current way of thinking, instead of disregarding it and thinking of it as incorrect, be open to at least evaluating it. Giving yourself permission to change your mind doesn’t make you less of who you are, it allows you to explore possibilities of becoming more than who you currently are.

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Best Predictor of Your Future

“The future depends on what we do in the present.” Mahatma Gandhi

What is the best predictor of your future?

I’ll give you minute to think about it.

Ready?

If you answered, it’s the action you take and the decisions you make today, then you can stop reading right here.

While my answer might seem overly simplistic, I can’t emphasize enough just how important your daily actions and decisions are when it comes to predicting your future. Before I go on, let me point out the obvious, every action and decision is not equal and does not require intense deliberation.

What many people fail to realize is that while a single action or decision might not carry a great amount of weight in the grand scheme of a lifetime, actions and decisions compounded overtime can drastically change the entire trajectory of your life.

Most people can get by with taking sloppy actions or making poor decisions for the first twenty, and in some cases even thirty years of their lives, as long as they’re not detrimental to their personal wellbeing, or the well being of others. But later in life, actions and decisions begin to take on more gravity.

So, instead of waiting until later in your life, learn to make better decisions and act today. Spend time thinking about your future and then align your actions and decisions accordingly. And yes, your actions and decisions might not guarantee your future, but they will increase your odds of getting you where you want to be.

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Prospection

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. ― Henry David Thoreau

How much time do you spend in prospection?

If you don’t know what prospection is, not to worry, I just learned the word recently and have been looking for an excuse to use it.

Prospection is the act of anticipation. It is the generation and evaluation of mental representations of possible futures.

But why would you want to think about possible futures, especially since spending too much time thinking about the future is one of the causes of anxiety? Because thinking about the future can also make your life more meaningful.

Before I go on, I must remind you that your ability to be here in the present, it just as important, if not more so than thinking about the future or the past. But since you have the ability to prospect your future, then you should absolutely use it to your advantage.

Your ability to imagine a bright future for yourself can motivate you to make better decisions today which increases your chances of living the future you imagined.  Prospection can also brighten your mood, as you look for the ‘silver lining’ of tomorrow beyond what might be the clouds of today.

So, spend some time today thinking about your future. Don’t take an anxious approach worrying about what might happen, but instead, imagine a future that you want to move towards. One that inspires and motivates you to act today. Prospect your future just like those that prospected for gold. With enthusiasm, excitement, and hope. If you do so, you might just find what you’re looking for.

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Heads or Tails?

We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.
-Anaïs Nin

Heads or tails?

That’s it.

Those are your two choices.

Which one will you choose?

You might not see it at first, because it’s not really heads or tails, but you only ever really have two choices.

Whenever you have a situation or are presented with a set of options you don’t like or agree with, you only have the following choices.

You can change what’s happening or change how you think about what’s happening.

Of course, you can do nothing, which technically is a third option, but that just leaves you stuck where you are.

Let’s be honest for a minute.

How many times do you think you have the power to change situations you’re presented with? Maybe a few if you’re lucky or if you have a high ability to influence your surroundings.

But how many times do you have the power to change how you think about the situations you’re presented with?

Don’t read ahead. Let that last question sink in for a moment.

I hope you thought about it for a moment and came to the realization that your probability of being able to change how you think about situations you disagree with is much higher than being able to change them.

While it might not be as clear as heads or tails, your choices about how you react and respond to people and situations you disagree with are quite limited.

Now you can spend a lot of energy fighting against all the things you disagree with, or you can choose to see things differently and save your energy to focus on the few things you can control.

So what’s it going to be, heads or tails?

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Support System

“If you’re not making someone else’s life better, then you’re wasting your time. Your life will become better by making other lives better.”  – Will Smith

Who is part of your support system?

Whose support system are you a part of?

How do you feel about relying on someone or someone relying on you?

For some, the idea of having to rely on another person is a sign of weakness, and for others, they know and understand that they can’t go it alone.

The reality is that no one can really go it alone. Regardless of how much the idea of ‘rugged individualism’ is admired and held up as hero worship, no one individual can survive, let alone thrive without the help or consideration of at least one other person.

The idea or even the world individual is only about 500 years old. Which, if you think about it, 500 years is not even and drop in the bucket of time. And the original meaning of the word is indivisible, describing a singular thing or object.

None of us is a singular object. We are all part of a greater system that relies on each other’s cooperation to survive. And we are also part of a greater ecosystem that we depend on whether we realize it or not. So, relying on someone else, or being a support system for another person is inherent to our true nature.

Actively creating a support system for yourself or participating in a support system for someone else is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your community. Now to be clear, I’m not suggesting you give all your time to others at the expense of your own progress but making yourself available when you can be is the role you must play to support the broader ecosystem.

So, look around you and acknowledge those that have supported you on your journey and then make a commitment to supporting those that you can. And keep in mind that while you are an individual, you’re still connected to the broader ecosystem, or perhaps said differently, a system that supports you.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.