Raj Daniels

What if just for today you forget about all of your goals?

Forget all of your grand vision and outcomes.

Ok, perhaps I’m exaggerating a little. Don’t forget them, just don’t focus on them. Today just focus on advancing and not finishing.

Today, just focus on the next step.

You’ve probably heard the Lao Tzu quote “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,” and it’s so true. But like so many quotes and sayings, this one too seems to be overly simplistic. And when you hear the quote your brain rebels with an ‘it can’t be that easy.’ Yet nowhere in the quote does it say how easy or hard the journey will be.

So just for today, put aside the end, the grand finale, the fireworks that will go off when you reach your goals, spoiler alert, there are rarely any fireworks, and only focus on advancing your mission. That’s it. Just do something to move you forward.

Let me be very clear. I’m not suggesting your forget your goals or the grand vision for your life, it’s just that if you have big goals, which I hope you do, they can seem daunting, and depending on your personality, they can at times even feel de-motivating because of their sheer size. So just for today, focus on the task or step that’s directly in front of you. Only work on moving forward, for today it doesn’t matter how far you go, just think about advancing and not finishing.

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When was the last time you tested your courage?

Humans are endowed with courage for a reason, but the majority fail to or forget to test their courage, especially as they mature into adults. They seek safety and security yet admire the courage of others.

You’ll find people all over the world lined up to watch their favorite actors and athletes perform acts of courage. And books and novels about courageous individuals can often be found on bestseller lists, as the readers live vicariously through the characters while sitting in the safety of their own lives.

Testing your courage doesn’t require you to put your life or physical safety on the line, although some activities do require a certain amount of risk of bodily injury. However, in most cases, testing your courage is about moving past your fears, it’s about doing what you’re afraid to do.

You’ll know when your courage is being tested because you’ll feel the butterflies in the pit of your stomach, or the adrenaline begin to pump through your body. When you act with courage every nerve in your body stands at attention ready for action and you feel alive which is very different from just being alive.

Get in the habit of testing your courage on a regular basis by getting out of your comfort zone. Build your courage muscle by choosing action over fear and push past your limitations. Remember, you were endowed with courage for a reason, now go use it to build your life.

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Who should you be grateful for today?

What if you started every day by asking yourself that question?

So, who is it going to be for you today?

Will it be a family member, teammate, co-worker, friend, or perhaps the ‘random’ people you interact with today?

Expressing gratitude daily for and to the people in your life serves several purposes. First, you’ll have the pleasure and good feeling of knowing that you’re not going through life alone and that you have a support system, although, at times, it might not always be visible. Second, telling people that you’re grateful for their support or the service they provide makes them feel better about themselves. And lastly, the more gratitude you express, the more opportunities you’ll find to be grateful.

Your expression of gratitude doesn’t have to be any kind of big production or overt gesture. Just stopping for a moment to deliver simple, direct, meaningful thank you will suffice in most cases. And when you don’t have the opportunity to see or interact with the person you’re grateful for, you can say a thank you to them in your mind.

So set yourself on a path today to express gratitude to and for the people in your life. Once you get in the habit of doing so, you’ll begin to experience the magic of a grateful mindset. You see, once you have a grateful mindset, you’ll start to see opportunities to express gratitude appear all around you and will realize just how much you have to be thankful for.

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What big change or large project do you want to accomplish?

If there’s something you really want to do, then put it on your calendar or schedule. And then, here’s the most important part, make that time slot on your schedule as non-negotiable as possible.

Why non-negotiable? Because unless you’re like the small percentage of people that have unbreakable discipline, you will begin to look for excuses or reasons for why you shouldn’t stick to your commitment.

You see, there will be days when you will not want to stick to your commitment to change or work on your project, especially during the challenging times. And yes, every major change or big project will have challenging times, but when it’s on your schedule and you think of it as non-negotiable as you would an appointment with another person, then you’ll work on it even if you do so begrudgingly. However, it’s working on commitments even when you don’t want to that forges your discipline.

Before I go on, let me clarify that I’m not suggesting you force yourself to stick with changes or projects that you no longer want to accomplish. This idea of scheduling is a tool to get you to accomplish the things you want to do.

So, learn to use your calendar as a secret weapon to work your way to your goals. Stick to the appointments you make with yourself and experience how your schedule transforms your life.

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How long will you wait for something else to come along?

While patience is a virtue, it must be backed by action. Sitting and waiting for opportunities to show up at your doorstep is a valid strategy because sure enough, every once in while ideas and opportunities will come to you, but your life will be limited.

If you want to expand the number of chances and choices you can experience then you’re going to have to learn to forage, to hunt, to not wait for something else to come along, but actively explore and pursue opportunities.

You can absolutely take a passive approach to life and in many cases get through life just fine by waiting for all the something else’s to come along, but by doing so you miss so much that life has to offer. Now I’m not suggesting you never focus and chase every new shiny opportunity, but I am recommending you take an active approach to life. Or perhaps said differently, you take ownership of your life and decide what you want to pursue rather than just wait and see what shows up. Because something else always shows up, and if you’re always experiencing only what shows up, you’ll never move beyond that to see what else is out there.

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How often do you act out of character?

If you’re thinking never, then perhaps it time you should, especially if there’s a part of your life that you’re trying to change.

You see, if you can’t muster the courage or learn to act out of character then you’re confined or said another way, are a prisoner of your current character. And while it’s good to be known for your character, it’s also a safe place for you to be, especially for those around you.

When you do something that’s out of character, you’ll quickly be reminded by a ‘that’s not like you’ kind of phrase, and that phrase is just enough of a nudge to send you back to confines of your old character. When you’re seeking change, ‘that’s not like you’ is exactly what you’re looking for, but when other’s see you behaving out of character, all of a sudden their perception of you is caught off guard. So instead of them changing to accept the new you, they attempt to keep you as the person they’re most comfortable being around.

If you really want to change your life then you’re going to have to push through the ‘that’s not like you,’ that you will hear from others and from inside you. Yes, even your own voice in your head will try to convince you to stay the same, because it too is threatened by change. Change can be difficult and scary, so your inner voice tries to protect and keep you safe, because that’s one of its jobs.

Ultimately, if you really want to change any part of your life, acting out of character is your only choice. The sooner you realize this, the quicker you’ll break free from who are and move towards the person you want to be.

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How often do you challenge your own thoughts and ideas?

Actively pursuing information that proves what you’re already thinking is very easy to do and is well known as confirmation bias. But seeking out information that disproves what you’re already thinking is difficult because no one really likes the feeling of being wrong.

Opening your mind to new ideas or ways thinking can be scary because they can threaten some of your long-held beliefs, and since to some extent you’re defined by your beliefs then new ideas are essentially challenging you at the core of who you are.

The problem with confirmation bias is that it prevents you from expanding your thinking and ultimately clouds your judgement, which can then lead to poor decision making. And since your entire life is built upon the decisions you make, having the ability to make better decisions will improve the overall quality of your life.

If the idea of seeking out information that disproves your thinking sounds challenging at first then you can start with a reconsideration mindset. When you reconsider you still have the safety of holding on to your own thoughts without committing to being mistaken or changing your mind. Oh, and before I go any further let me clarify that none of this has to be done publicly, you can do this in the safety of your own mind.

In the built or physical world, almost all progress is built upon eliminating the old ways and finding new ways doing things. This doesn’t mean the old ways are always wrong; they’ve just served their purpose. Many of your thoughts and ideas might have also served their purpose and now it’s time for you to entertain or at least consider new ideas. Don’t be afraid to do so. Open your mind and seek out disconfirming information. Worst case scenario, you still disagree and hold on to your current way of thinking, best-case scenario, you change your mind and change your life.

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How optimistic are you about your future?

Your level of optimism towards your future will determine your level of enthusiasm towards your days. Now before I go any further I want to clarify that being an optimist is not a cure-all and will not make challenges or problems disappear. It can however change your perspective towards certain situations and help you approach and navigate them differently.

Optimism helps you live with and face the challenges you’re experiencing today because it allows you to see that more favorable outcomes in the future are possible. Being optimistic empowers you; it strengthens your resolve because you learn to see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.

Optimism and hope go hand in hand and if you’re the kind of person that is actively pursuing goals and dreams then both will be tested time and time again. And during the tests, you’ll have to find a way to keep your optimism alive, and one of the best ways to do so is to keep the image of the future you desire burning bright inside of you.

Do not mistake optimism as a passive approach to life, just sitting and dreaming will not get you anywhere. Consider optimism as your guide, as a companion that when you’re tired encourages you to take one more step, to take one more action towards your goals.

I can’t let you go without mentioning the other side of optimism, pessimism. Occasional doses of pessimism, or some would say realism can be helpful. While pessimism might temporarily take the shine of the future, it can be helpful to ground or reset in the reality of today, but you have to make sure that you don’t get mired in it. Pessimism can be like quicksand, you don’t know you’re in it and the next thing you know, you’re swallowed up by it.

So sure, add reality checks to your optimism on a regular basis but keep your eyes on a brighter future. A brighter future will pull you through your days and in some cases even make you a better person to be around. Oh, and one last thing, studies are now showing that optimists even live longer, so if nothing else, that’s one more reason to add a little optimism to your life.

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What actions will you take to shape your life?

While it might seem as though much of what you encounter in life is out of your control there’s still a significant amount of things that you can control. One of the biggest reasons you feel as though you don’t have control is because of the transition between childhood and adulthood.

You see, as a child, you were subjected to rules and order that you had to abide by, mostly because compliance came with praise and in some cases even meant survival. And so you learned quickly to not rely on your own instincts, but to wait to be told what to do and not to do. The problem is that so many people transition into adulthood and continue to go through life just waiting to be told what to do.

Going through life waiting to be told what to do is absolutely one way to get through life. It also allows you to rarely take responsibility for your own actions because you can always blame people and external forces for how you feel and for the results in your life.

But is that really how you want to live? Just waiting and acting on the whims and wishes of others.

Of course, you can if you want to. But keep in mind if that’s how you choose to live, you’ll always be the victim of circumstances and never the master.

If you want to know what it feels like to be master of your own life you’ll have to take actions to shape your own life. And while this might not always result in the traditional idea of success and you might not receive the praise and approval of others, you’ll feel the success of knowing that you’re responsible for your wins and losses.

How you decide to go through life is entirely up to you. But keep in mind that once you’ve transitioned from childhood to adulthood, you’ll have the opportunity presented to you almost on a daily basis to decide whether you’re going shape your own life or let others shape it for you.  

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What role does complacency play in your life?

Complacency is a sneaky bugger because it doesn’t announce its arrival. All of a sudden one day it’s there and you’re stuck right in the middle of it. It’s there mingled in your relationships, in your health, your career, it’s taken its place in your life and the reason you didn’t notice is because it dressed itself as comfort.

You see, Goldilocks had it all wrong. She gave you the impression that the porridge, the bed and everything else has to be just right. What she neglected to tell you is that when you feel as though things are just right is when you stop paying attention. And that’s when complacency makes its move.

I’ll admit that it’s difficult not to get complacent when things are going well, after all, who doesn’t want things to go well? But you see, it’s when things aren’t going well that commands your attention. And you should always be paying attention to areas of your life that are important to you.

So how do you avoid complacency?

You should routinely check or audit the areas of your life that mean the most to you. How often should you audit your life? That’s up to you, but I would recommend at least on a quarterly basis. Carve out time to take a hard look at all the structural areas of your life and if need be, grade yourself. Get in the habit of doing this as early in life as you can, because if you don’t, complacency will be waiting in shadows, ready to take its place in your life.

Who do you want to become?

Who you become will always be more important than what you become. What you become from a profession or career perspective might seem shiny at first but the shine soon wears off and will be forgotten, but who you’ve become will live on long after you’re gone.

While focusing on a career that can help fulfill some of your dreams and desires is important, so is thinking about the kind of person you want to be known as. I’m not suggesting that you cater or change your behavior or personality to suit the desires and whims of others, what I am suggesting is that you create the character you want to be known for regardless of external pressures.

An important thing to remember is that who you want to become can change over time, you’re not required to remain the same forever. If you’ve been the victim of external circumstances that forced to adopt a personality or traits in order to make it through a certain period in your life, it’s not too late to let them go.

Once you get in the habit of asking yourself, who do I want to become? Then you can use your answers as a filter to align your decisions and make choices that will help you forge the character you’ve chosen to become.

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How ambitious are you?

Ambition can be a double edge sword. On one hand, you need a certain amount of ambition if you’re going to accomplish a goal or achieve a level of success in your life, on the other hand being overly ambitious can be detrimental if, especially if you adopt a win at all costs mentality.

While balancing ambition can be tricky, it’s better than not having any. Ambition and motivation go hand in hand; when you’re ambitious you’ll be motivated to take action.

So how do you cultivate ambition?

The simplest way to spark your ambition is to find something you’re interested in and learn as much as you can about that subject. Although out of the gate this might not make you overly ambitious, it will begin to give you the habit of pursuing your curiosity and you’ll find that when you pursue an intrinsic curiosity you’ll be more motivated to do so.  

The wonderful thing about ambition is that it’s not dependent on how intelligent you think you are. In fact, it’s very easy to find stories of individuals that have been incredibly successful in a wide range of careers with little less than a high school education. So don’t let the lack of credentials or degrees hold your ambition hostage.

Ambition is not something someone else can do for you. Yes, you might find clues about your ambition by reading about and watching other people’s lives, but ultimately it’s going to come down to what you can do for yourself. Learn to stoke your own fire of ambition, and don’t ever stop doing so, because it’s the only thing that will keep you growing and moving forward in life. And in life, if you’re not growing then you know what’s on the other side of that coin.

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Are you focused on your past or your future?

Have you ever noticed how athletes can almost forget a previous play and focus on exactly what’s happening in the moment? They have the uncanny ability to leave a good or bad play in the past and invest all their energy into the next play. And you’ll see over time that the ones that are not able to cultivate their ability to leave the plays behind, especially bad plays, are the ones that choke under pressure.

Now you might also be aware that whether they win or lose the best athletes do study post-game footage in order to learn both from their errors and successes. So you see, although they’re able to forget previous plays in the moment, they still invest time in learning from their past.

How can you implement this next play mentality into your life?

Well, you can take a page from the athlete’s playbook and apply it to your life. You’re not required to hold on to errors and mistakes you’ve made in the past, but you can absolutely learn from them. Yes, reviewing a previous mistake might cause some temporary mental anguish, but once you’ve learned all the lessons you can from that mistake, let it remain the past and focus on your next play.

The ability to move on without constantly putting your past in front of you is a great skill to develop and you’ll also find it extremely liberating. So, the next time you find yourself ruminating over an error or mistake you made in your past, think like an athlete. Learn from your mistake and then move on to your next play.

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Whose shoulders are you standing on?

It’s very easy to forget those that lived before you, especially in the West where the practice of multiple generations living together is disappearing quickly. As each generation passes away, so do the stories and the memories of all the struggles and sacrifices that were made so that you could be here today.

Although your ancestors might be gone, you’re still carrying their DNA with you, and it’s in this DNA that their hopes and dreams live on through you. It’s also their DNA that gives you your abilities, skills, and strengths. So whatever you’re able to do and accomplish in life is built on their foundation or as Isaac Newton said “through cumulative knowledge.”

In the rush of daily life it can be easy to forget that you are indeed the product of all those that came before you, so think of this a quick reminder. And now that you’ve been reminded, stop for a moment and thank them, even though they can’t hear you, they’re in you. And don’t forget, while you might be standing on their shoulders, it’s their invisible hands on your shoulders that support you and help guide you through your difficult times.

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What if just for today you removed all doubt from your mind?

Just imagine how it would feel not to doubt yourself for one whole day. One day spent not second-guessing your abilities, and draped in a cloak of confidence that allowed you to take strong positive steps towards any endeavor you seek to accomplish. A day where you don’t ask or question whether or not it can be done, and move forward with faith and knowing that you can do it.

Impossible you say?

Perhaps even irrational?

Yes, maybe, but also thoroughly liberating.

So how do you shut out doubt for a day?

Difficult as it might sound, every time you find yourself doubting or second-guessing yourself, you learn to ignore it. Now obviously this doesn’t mean that you put yourself or others in harm’s way. This is specifically for you to use to accomplish personal tasks or goals that you’ve set for yourself, but have not yet moved towards because you’ve doubted your abilities.

What if you really do lack the ability to reach your goals?  Well, if the goal is important enough to you then you’ll learn the skills necessary or find others that have the abilities to help you reach your goal.

The entire objective of being doubt-free is to only focus on the goal. Yes, you address the challenges that will arise between you and your goal but don’t waiver for a minute. Step confidently towards every challenge with a knowing that any and every setback is temporary, and you will no longer allow doubt to creep back in and hold you back.

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Who is going to do it for you?

Who is going to get your life in order?

Who is going to address all the challenges you have?

Well, there’s good news and bad news. The good news is that no one but you can fix or improve your life, and the bad news is, hopefully, you’ve guessed by now that the bad news is that only you can fix or improve your life.

Yes, there might be people that show up in your life that can give you advice or perhaps even point you in the right direction, but ultimately it’s going to be you that has to take action. Your life is a DIY project. You can acquire all the tools, tricks, and tips you need, but ultimately it’s going to be you that has to put in the work.

The sooner you realize that your life is your responsibility the better off you’ll be. This does not mean you don’t seek out help when you need it, on the contrary, I recommend you learn to access every resource available to you, and once you have the resource in hand, go to work on yourself as soon as you can.

Now I understand that at first the idea of a DIY life might seem burdensome, but if you view it from a different perspective you’ll also find it freeing. Just like a DIY project you get to design and build the best life that you can for yourself. So roll your sleeves up and get to work on your life today. I promise that it’ll be the most important DIY project you’ll ever do.

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Who’s your boss?

Who do you have to answer to?

The reality is that although you might have a person where you’re employed that can ask you to do a task and has the title of being the boss, he or she is not your boss. You are the boss of you. This is not to say that there won’t be consequences if you don’t abide by certain rules or guidelines that an employer has established, but ultimately you are your own master.

The quicker you can grasp this idea of being your own master and taking charge of your own life, the better of you’ll be. The sooner you come to grips with the idea that you need to do what you think is necessary in order for you to feel successful and satisfied, the better of you’ll be. Let me clarify that you’ll better off from a mental and perhaps even from a spiritual point of view.

You see, when you come to grips with that fact that you are indeed your own boss then you’ll begin to invest your time and energy into actions that will give you the greatest returns. If you think about the boss of any organization, then you know that their number one priority is to use the resources they have to get returns and add value to their organization because if they don’t the organization perishes.

So saddle up, grab the reigns of your life, and start acting like the boss that you are. By the way, I’m using the word boss and master interchangeably because the word boss comes from the Dutch word baas, which means master. So if you don’t like the word or idea of being your own boss, I hope you like the idea of being your own master.

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What do you feel that you were made to do?

What activity or work do you do that makes you feel alive?

How can you design your life so that you can do more of the work that you were made to do?

Impossible you say?

Yes, you’re correct if by impossible you’re saying that you can’t do what you’re made to do all the time. But what if you could do what you were made to do at least for a few hours a day. How would that feel? Just imagine for those few hours a day just how alive you’d feel. You’d dream about those hours and look forward to them every day, just so that you could experience being in that zone of doing what you’re made for.

It’s hard to find activities or work that you feel as though you’re made to do, that’s why you’ll find that the majority of people you speak to don’t love what they do. Finding work that you’re made to do is work itself, it involves taking risks and trying different things. You have to be willing to put up with criticism and on occasion, feeling lost until you eventually land on the work that brings you alive.

Is it worth the hassle to find work that you’re made to do?

That’s a question only you can answer for yourself, but from me, you’d hear a resounding yes. You can go through life just fine without finding what you were made to do, but deep down you’ll always have this nagging feeling that you should have at least tried to find what you were made to do, or even worse, you knew what you made to do, but it didn’t carry the right prestige or financial reward, so you ignored or suppressed the feeling.

The good news is that if you’re reading this then there’s still time for you to do what you were made to do. Even if you only have time to spend a few hours a week dabbling in what you were made to do, those few hours will be the most energizing and refreshing hours of your week. So go for it. It’ll prevent you from reaching the end of your life and feeling the regret that you didn’t do the work you were made to do.

Who will you hold the door open for?

Who has held the door open for you?

Whether you realize it or not, there have been countless people that have allowed you to reach this point in your life. Individuals that gave selflessly so that the generations that followed them could benefit from their generosity. These are the individuals that have held the door open for you. Now it’s your turn.

Hopefully, by now you’ve realized that holding the door open is a metaphor for reaching back and helping someone else that is less fortunate or doesn’t have the same access to opportunities as you do.

Holding the door open doesn’t have to mean committing to a life of selfless giving and prioritizing others over yourself, it’s not an all or nothing act. All it means is that you’re conscious and grateful for whatever opportunities you’ve had in your life and that you’re willing to share, you’re willing to say that there’s room here for one more.

So as you go through your day, think about opportunities in your life where you can hold the door for someone that you think can use a helping hand, someone that’s working hard and trying to get their foot in the door but hasn’t been able to do so. Once you get in the habit of holding the door open for others whenever you can, you’ll soon begin to realize and hopefully appreciate just how many people have held the door open for you.

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What action can you take today that you’re future you would thank you for?

Although the future is indeed unpredictable, you have the ability to control or at least influence a small part of it. You have the ability to take a few small actions today and every day that increase the probability that your future will be one that you can enjoy and benefit from. I intentionally said increase the probability and not guarantee because the twins, chance and luck will play a role in your life just as they do in everyone’s life.

Identifying with a future version of you is difficult because although you’re blessed with a vivid imagination, there’s still a disconnection between who you are today and how you’ll be in the future. And so you behave as though you’ll always be the way you are in the present and that you have time to take care of future you. But the time between present you and the future you will soon evaporate.

The challenge in improving the life of the future you is in convincing your present self that your future you is worth investing in. So the question is, do you think your future you is worth investing time and effort today? Or said another way, what can you do today to make just a little easier for you in the future?

Take time to think about future you and then start taking actions that will increase the probability of future you being the person you imagine yourself to be. Get started today, your future you will be grateful you did.

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