Raj Daniels

What if just for today, you expected nothing out of your day?

No results, no outcomes, no reciprocations, nothing at all.

Instead, you just focus all your energy on your actions.

While acting in this manner might seem a little strange at first, the reality is that all you can really control is your actions, outcomes are mirages in the future. It’s how you’d like things to turn out, not a guarantee that they will.

I’m not suggesting that outcomes and results are not important but thinking about or over-focusing on them can create anxiety and unnecessary stress and tension. And the additional tension can become burdensome over time, especially if the result you’re seeking to accomplish is of great significance to you.

Now to detach yourself from outcomes you’re going to have to assure yourself that you’re not ignoring your goals, but instead, are shifting your energy. The irony is, the more important your goal is to you, the easier this is to do because if the goal is important to you, then hopefully you’re already committed to doing all you can to accomplish it.

So just for today, detach yourself from all outcomes and expect no results. Remind yourself that detachment is not quitting. You’re just putting down the additional baggage of carrying outcomes and clearing your mind so you can focus on the task at hand which will ultimately move you towards the results you want.

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How much time is in a day?

This might sound like a strange question and yes, I know technically there are twenty-four hours in a day, so let me ask the question with a slightly different twist.

How much time do you feel like you have in a day?

If you’re like so many others, then you might feel like there’s not enough time in a day to do the things you want to or need to do. The interesting thing is that the one thing we all have in common is that we have the same amount of time in a day. So why do some people seem to be able to accomplish so much in the given time, while others feel there’s not enough time?

Research shows that those that are most productive with their time take intentional steps that allow them to be productive. The two most common steps are chunking or identifying time on their schedules to work on certain projects and then fiercely guarding that time.

Now while your life is unique to your own situation, you too can learn to rope of time for yourself. And while this might not be easy at first, once you get in the habit of doing so, you’ll find your productivity will increase. And when I say productivity, I’m not just talking about getting more work done. You can use your guarded time for self-development, leisure activities, hobbies, or whatever else you want to do.

So, if want to find more time in your day, learn to implement the habits of identifying time and then protecting that time at almost all costs. When you learn to do this well it’s like a miracle, because you’ll find more time in the same place where you once thought there wasn’t enough.

How much progress can there be without change?

Let me help you with the answer.

None.

That’s right, no progress without change.

The word progress means to move forward, to advance, so baked into the definition is the concept of change. Even if you only think about moving forward in a physical sense then you understand that basically you are changing locations.

Progress is the natural state of nature. Think of if it as evolution. The following is a  quote that is generally attributed to Charles Darwin “it is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to adapt and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself.” Now I’m not here to argue whether Darwin said this or not, because it really doesn’t matter. What does matter is that the underlying principle is true. If you want to survive then you must learn to change.

So, if you really want to progress in life then don’t shy away from or fear change. Alter your perspective of change, learn to embrace it, and use it to your advantage. The sooner you do, the more progress you’ll make.

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How many reps and sets will you do today?

If you’ve ever lifted weights, then you’ll recognize the idea of reps and sets. Reps is short for repetitions and sets account for a set number of reps. For example, there could be ten repetitions of an exercise in one set. The reps and sets method is an easy and effective accounting method for the amount of work/exercise a person does.

So why am I sharing this explanation of reps and sets?

Because if a person wants to increase muscle strength then accounting for and increasing the amount of work overtime will in most cases experience the results they are seeking. It will occur naturally, as the muscles are fatigued, they will grow and adapt the additional stress they encounter.

The reps and sets method do not only work for lifting weights, it can be applied in other areas of your life too. You can apply a similar technique to any area of life you’re trying to improve. While sets might not be as important of a concept in other areas of life, reps will absolutely count. Reps might be masked as practice in writing or music, or they maybe the number of displays of emotion towards loved ones, whatever area of life you’re want to strengthen, you’ll need to put in the reps.

If you think accounting for the effort you put into certain areas of life does not need to be measured or might seem odd at first, you’re not alone, and I agree. It does seem like the removal of spontaneity; however, you’re actually learning to instill discipline in the areas you believe are important to you.

So, think about the areas of your life that you want to improve and start accounting for and putting in your reps today. It’s the only way to maintain or strengthen what you believe is important to you.

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What teachable moments will you experience today?

Teachable moments are usually unplanned opportunities that arise in classrooms where a teacher has a chance to offer insight to his or her students. Teachable moments are not something that are planned for; rather, they are fleeting opportunities that must be sensed and seized by the teacher.

Whether you’re in a formal educational setting or just going through life, you too have the benefit and or opportunity to learn from unplanned teachable moments. And teachable moments come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, for most of us they come in the form of a mistake.

It’s been said that life is all about learning from your mistakes, or if you’re fortunate or smart enough, then learning from the mistakes of others. But you’ve only really learned a lesson from a mistake if you’ve taken the time to make it a teachable moment and don’t make the same mistake again.

You’ll find that the number of teachable moments or mistakes you make might correlate to the number of new and or interesting things you attempt to do. For example, although I’m not an expert in rocks, I doubt rocks have many teachable moments. But if you study or watch animals then you’ll see that they experience adversity, and within the adversity are teachable moments. And all we are, are slightly more evolved animals.

So, as you go through your day today, I hope you take the perspective of seeing your mistakes as teachable moments and learn from the adversity you encounter. And if you go through your day and find that you didn’t make any mistakes, or face any adversity, you might just want to look in the mirror to make sure that you haven’t turned in to a rock.

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How long will it take?

For what, you might ask.

Well, it depends on what you’re trying to do. If you’re trying to bake a cake, walk a mile, or even take a flight to a particular destination, I can give you an estimate of how long it will take, and the estimate will be pretty close to the time it will take. I say close because even when you’re doing something that’s been done before there can be unforeseen circumstances that can cause the amount of time to change.

We are all living lives that encounter unforeseen circumstances daily, yet we attempt to manage our days like we’ve been here before. We get lulled into the trap of basing today on the knowledge of yesterday with the hope that we’ll have some semblance of control. Yet each day we encounter something new, something different, and are surprised or even disappointed when we do.

Almost your entire life will be filled with unforeseen circumstances and events and the sooner you accept and get used to the idea of not being sure what will happen next, the more resilient you’ll become. And resilient is what you need to be if you want to achieve anything of great importance or consequential to you.

So as you move through our days and your life keep in mind that it’s all going to be new to you, especially if you’re going to attempt to pursue activities and goals that are outside of the realm of everyday survival. Learn to embrace every unanticipated circumstance and event as an opportunity to learn, grow, and keep moving forward. The resilience you build today will be your superpower against the unforeseen events of tomorrow.

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What do you care about?

This is an important question to ask yourself?

Why?

Because it’s when you really care about something that you’ll invest the extra energy and time to improve it. This is true for your relationships, your career/work, and even your own health and general well-being. Now you might argue that of course, you care about all things I mentioned, but I would argue back that there’s a difference between thinking something is important or being fond of it,  and really caring about it.

You see when you really care about something you naturally want to see it thrive, you want to see it in the best condition it can be in, and so you behave accordingly. Basically, when you care, you act.

Caring consists of two parts, checking in to see what’s happening and then acting on the information. Learn to care. So when you say or think that you really care about something then you’ll start acting to improve it and nurture it to its full potential.

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How will you respond today?

To what, you might ask.

To everything.

While some of your responses today can be chalked up to your reflexes, there will be plenty of opportunities for you to decide how you’ll respond. And if you’re already recoiling and thinking, not possible, well, that’s a response that has become a reflex.

Your days will present you with numerous opportunities to respond and not react reflexively, you just have to make the very conscious decision to act on the opportunity.

Too difficult?

Not enough time?

Yes and yes. But also responses.

While making a conscious response to everything might be unrealistic, you can prioritize the opportunities you will consciously respond to. Maybe you decide to consciously respond to the people you love, the food you eat, or dare I say, your own internal thoughts. Yes, even your own thoughts can benefit from conscious responses rather than reacting to each one that comes along.

Ultimately you have a lot more control over how you respond than you might think you do. Allow yourself time to cultivate responses that benefit you rather than continuously relying on reactions or reflexive behavior. And while this might seem challenging at first, eventually you’ll begin to enjoy the feeling of self-control as you learn to respond to life, rather than just reacting to it.

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What if just for today you forget about all of your goals?

Forget all of your grand vision and outcomes.

Ok, perhaps I’m exaggerating a little. Don’t forget them, just don’t focus on them. Today just focus on advancing and not finishing.

Today, just focus on the next step.

You’ve probably heard the Lao Tzu quote “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,” and it’s so true. But like so many quotes and sayings, this one too seems to be overly simplistic. And when you hear the quote your brain rebels with an ‘it can’t be that easy.’ Yet nowhere in the quote does it say how easy or hard the journey will be.

So just for today, put aside the end, the grand finale, the fireworks that will go off when you reach your goals, spoiler alert, there are rarely any fireworks, and only focus on advancing your mission. That’s it. Just do something to move you forward.

Let me be very clear. I’m not suggesting your forget your goals or the grand vision for your life, it’s just that if you have big goals, which I hope you do, they can seem daunting, and depending on your personality, they can at times even feel de-motivating because of their sheer size. So just for today, focus on the task or step that’s directly in front of you. Only work on moving forward, for today it doesn’t matter how far you go, just think about advancing and not finishing.

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When was the last time you tested your courage?

Humans are endowed with courage for a reason, but the majority fail to or forget to test their courage, especially as they mature into adults. They seek safety and security yet admire the courage of others.

You’ll find people all over the world lined up to watch their favorite actors and athletes perform acts of courage. And books and novels about courageous individuals can often be found on bestseller lists, as the readers live vicariously through the characters while sitting in the safety of their own lives.

Testing your courage doesn’t require you to put your life or physical safety on the line, although some activities do require a certain amount of risk of bodily injury. However, in most cases, testing your courage is about moving past your fears, it’s about doing what you’re afraid to do.

You’ll know when your courage is being tested because you’ll feel the butterflies in the pit of your stomach, or the adrenaline begin to pump through your body. When you act with courage every nerve in your body stands at attention ready for action and you feel alive which is very different from just being alive.

Get in the habit of testing your courage on a regular basis by getting out of your comfort zone. Build your courage muscle by choosing action over fear and push past your limitations. Remember, you were endowed with courage for a reason, now go use it to build your life.

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Who should you be grateful for today?

What if you started every day by asking yourself that question?

So, who is it going to be for you today?

Will it be a family member, teammate, co-worker, friend, or perhaps the ‘random’ people you interact with today?

Expressing gratitude daily for and to the people in your life serves several purposes. First, you’ll have the pleasure and good feeling of knowing that you’re not going through life alone and that you have a support system, although, at times, it might not always be visible. Second, telling people that you’re grateful for their support or the service they provide makes them feel better about themselves. And lastly, the more gratitude you express, the more opportunities you’ll find to be grateful.

Your expression of gratitude doesn’t have to be any kind of big production or overt gesture. Just stopping for a moment to deliver simple, direct, meaningful thank you will suffice in most cases. And when you don’t have the opportunity to see or interact with the person you’re grateful for, you can say a thank you to them in your mind.

So set yourself on a path today to express gratitude to and for the people in your life. Once you get in the habit of doing so, you’ll begin to experience the magic of a grateful mindset. You see, once you have a grateful mindset, you’ll start to see opportunities to express gratitude appear all around you and will realize just how much you have to be thankful for.

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What big change or large project do you want to accomplish?

If there’s something you really want to do, then put it on your calendar or schedule. And then, here’s the most important part, make that time slot on your schedule as non-negotiable as possible.

Why non-negotiable? Because unless you’re like the small percentage of people that have unbreakable discipline, you will begin to look for excuses or reasons for why you shouldn’t stick to your commitment.

You see, there will be days when you will not want to stick to your commitment to change or work on your project, especially during the challenging times. And yes, every major change or big project will have challenging times, but when it’s on your schedule and you think of it as non-negotiable as you would an appointment with another person, then you’ll work on it even if you do so begrudgingly. However, it’s working on commitments even when you don’t want to that forges your discipline.

Before I go on, let me clarify that I’m not suggesting you force yourself to stick with changes or projects that you no longer want to accomplish. This idea of scheduling is a tool to get you to accomplish the things you want to do.

So, learn to use your calendar as a secret weapon to work your way to your goals. Stick to the appointments you make with yourself and experience how your schedule transforms your life.

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How long will you wait for something else to come along?

While patience is a virtue, it must be backed by action. Sitting and waiting for opportunities to show up at your doorstep is a valid strategy because sure enough, every once in while ideas and opportunities will come to you, but your life will be limited.

If you want to expand the number of chances and choices you can experience then you’re going to have to learn to forage, to hunt, to not wait for something else to come along, but actively explore and pursue opportunities.

You can absolutely take a passive approach to life and in many cases get through life just fine by waiting for all the something else’s to come along, but by doing so you miss so much that life has to offer. Now I’m not suggesting you never focus and chase every new shiny opportunity, but I am recommending you take an active approach to life. Or perhaps said differently, you take ownership of your life and decide what you want to pursue rather than just wait and see what shows up. Because something else always shows up, and if you’re always experiencing only what shows up, you’ll never move beyond that to see what else is out there.

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How often do you act out of character?

If you’re thinking never, then perhaps it time you should, especially if there’s a part of your life that you’re trying to change.

You see, if you can’t muster the courage or learn to act out of character then you’re confined or said another way, are a prisoner of your current character. And while it’s good to be known for your character, it’s also a safe place for you to be, especially for those around you.

When you do something that’s out of character, you’ll quickly be reminded by a ‘that’s not like you’ kind of phrase, and that phrase is just enough of a nudge to send you back to confines of your old character. When you’re seeking change, ‘that’s not like you’ is exactly what you’re looking for, but when other’s see you behaving out of character, all of a sudden their perception of you is caught off guard. So instead of them changing to accept the new you, they attempt to keep you as the person they’re most comfortable being around.

If you really want to change your life then you’re going to have to push through the ‘that’s not like you,’ that you will hear from others and from inside you. Yes, even your own voice in your head will try to convince you to stay the same, because it too is threatened by change. Change can be difficult and scary, so your inner voice tries to protect and keep you safe, because that’s one of its jobs.

Ultimately, if you really want to change any part of your life, acting out of character is your only choice. The sooner you realize this, the quicker you’ll break free from who are and move towards the person you want to be.

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How often do you challenge your own thoughts and ideas?

Actively pursuing information that proves what you’re already thinking is very easy to do and is well known as confirmation bias. But seeking out information that disproves what you’re already thinking is difficult because no one really likes the feeling of being wrong.

Opening your mind to new ideas or ways thinking can be scary because they can threaten some of your long-held beliefs, and since to some extent you’re defined by your beliefs then new ideas are essentially challenging you at the core of who you are.

The problem with confirmation bias is that it prevents you from expanding your thinking and ultimately clouds your judgement, which can then lead to poor decision making. And since your entire life is built upon the decisions you make, having the ability to make better decisions will improve the overall quality of your life.

If the idea of seeking out information that disproves your thinking sounds challenging at first then you can start with a reconsideration mindset. When you reconsider you still have the safety of holding on to your own thoughts without committing to being mistaken or changing your mind. Oh, and before I go any further let me clarify that none of this has to be done publicly, you can do this in the safety of your own mind.

In the built or physical world, almost all progress is built upon eliminating the old ways and finding new ways doing things. This doesn’t mean the old ways are always wrong; they’ve just served their purpose. Many of your thoughts and ideas might have also served their purpose and now it’s time for you to entertain or at least consider new ideas. Don’t be afraid to do so. Open your mind and seek out disconfirming information. Worst case scenario, you still disagree and hold on to your current way of thinking, best-case scenario, you change your mind and change your life.

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How optimistic are you about your future?

Your level of optimism towards your future will determine your level of enthusiasm towards your days. Now before I go any further I want to clarify that being an optimist is not a cure-all and will not make challenges or problems disappear. It can however change your perspective towards certain situations and help you approach and navigate them differently.

Optimism helps you live with and face the challenges you’re experiencing today because it allows you to see that more favorable outcomes in the future are possible. Being optimistic empowers you; it strengthens your resolve because you learn to see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.

Optimism and hope go hand in hand and if you’re the kind of person that is actively pursuing goals and dreams then both will be tested time and time again. And during the tests, you’ll have to find a way to keep your optimism alive, and one of the best ways to do so is to keep the image of the future you desire burning bright inside of you.

Do not mistake optimism as a passive approach to life, just sitting and dreaming will not get you anywhere. Consider optimism as your guide, as a companion that when you’re tired encourages you to take one more step, to take one more action towards your goals.

I can’t let you go without mentioning the other side of optimism, pessimism. Occasional doses of pessimism, or some would say realism can be helpful. While pessimism might temporarily take the shine of the future, it can be helpful to ground or reset in the reality of today, but you have to make sure that you don’t get mired in it. Pessimism can be like quicksand, you don’t know you’re in it and the next thing you know, you’re swallowed up by it.

So sure, add reality checks to your optimism on a regular basis but keep your eyes on a brighter future. A brighter future will pull you through your days and in some cases even make you a better person to be around. Oh, and one last thing, studies are now showing that optimists even live longer, so if nothing else, that’s one more reason to add a little optimism to your life.

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What actions will you take to shape your life?

While it might seem as though much of what you encounter in life is out of your control there’s still a significant amount of things that you can control. One of the biggest reasons you feel as though you don’t have control is because of the transition between childhood and adulthood.

You see, as a child, you were subjected to rules and order that you had to abide by, mostly because compliance came with praise and in some cases even meant survival. And so you learned quickly to not rely on your own instincts, but to wait to be told what to do and not to do. The problem is that so many people transition into adulthood and continue to go through life just waiting to be told what to do.

Going through life waiting to be told what to do is absolutely one way to get through life. It also allows you to rarely take responsibility for your own actions because you can always blame people and external forces for how you feel and for the results in your life.

But is that really how you want to live? Just waiting and acting on the whims and wishes of others.

Of course, you can if you want to. But keep in mind if that’s how you choose to live, you’ll always be the victim of circumstances and never the master.

If you want to know what it feels like to be master of your own life you’ll have to take actions to shape your own life. And while this might not always result in the traditional idea of success and you might not receive the praise and approval of others, you’ll feel the success of knowing that you’re responsible for your wins and losses.

How you decide to go through life is entirely up to you. But keep in mind that once you’ve transitioned from childhood to adulthood, you’ll have the opportunity presented to you almost on a daily basis to decide whether you’re going shape your own life or let others shape it for you.  

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What role does complacency play in your life?

Complacency is a sneaky bugger because it doesn’t announce its arrival. All of a sudden one day it’s there and you’re stuck right in the middle of it. It’s there mingled in your relationships, in your health, your career, it’s taken its place in your life and the reason you didn’t notice is because it dressed itself as comfort.

You see, Goldilocks had it all wrong. She gave you the impression that the porridge, the bed and everything else has to be just right. What she neglected to tell you is that when you feel as though things are just right is when you stop paying attention. And that’s when complacency makes its move.

I’ll admit that it’s difficult not to get complacent when things are going well, after all, who doesn’t want things to go well? But you see, it’s when things aren’t going well that commands your attention. And you should always be paying attention to areas of your life that are important to you.

So how do you avoid complacency?

You should routinely check or audit the areas of your life that mean the most to you. How often should you audit your life? That’s up to you, but I would recommend at least on a quarterly basis. Carve out time to take a hard look at all the structural areas of your life and if need be, grade yourself. Get in the habit of doing this as early in life as you can, because if you don’t, complacency will be waiting in shadows, ready to take its place in your life.

Who do you want to become?

Who you become will always be more important than what you become. What you become from a profession or career perspective might seem shiny at first but the shine soon wears off and will be forgotten, but who you’ve become will live on long after you’re gone.

While focusing on a career that can help fulfill some of your dreams and desires is important, so is thinking about the kind of person you want to be known as. I’m not suggesting that you cater or change your behavior or personality to suit the desires and whims of others, what I am suggesting is that you create the character you want to be known for regardless of external pressures.

An important thing to remember is that who you want to become can change over time, you’re not required to remain the same forever. If you’ve been the victim of external circumstances that forced to adopt a personality or traits in order to make it through a certain period in your life, it’s not too late to let them go.

Once you get in the habit of asking yourself, who do I want to become? Then you can use your answers as a filter to align your decisions and make choices that will help you forge the character you’ve chosen to become.

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