Raj Daniels

What if just for today you decide that everyone you interact with knows more than you do?

What if just for today you decide that everyone you meet has your best interest in mind?

How would your day look?

Does just the idea of being non-confrontational bother you?

If just the idea of being letting others be right or being non-confrontational bothers you, then what does that say about you?

It’s easy to be so attached to your own ways of thinking that you’ve decided that you’re ideas and thoughts are right before even hearing what someone else has to say. However, doing so not only makes you less approachable but also limits your perspective.

One of the ways to widen your perspective is to remind yourself that your beliefs and thoughts are rooted in your own personal experience of life, which by definition is unique to you.

Being more open to new ideas and thoughts doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to surrender your current beliefs, it does mean that you have to temporarily suspend your beliefs in order to evaluate new information.

Allowing the ideas of others to test your personal beliefs requires a level of confidence and self-awareness because it challenges you to your core and it’s hard not become self-defensive. But while it is difficult, it’s definitely doable.

Going through life surrounding yourself with people that think and act just like you might sound like an easier path to take, but rarely allows for true personal growth. Allowing your assumptions and thoughts to be challenged can be advantageous because new perspectives broaden the lens through which you view the world.

Intellectual humility is what philosophers call the willingness to be challenged by new ideas. Essentially it means being open to change while also knowing when not to. Try it for yourself and see if it helps you widen your perspective.

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What if you remained a student for life?

When I say student for life, I’m not suggesting that you stay enrolled in some sort of formal education program. What I am suggesting is that you commit to being a lifelong learner.

Being a student is more of a mindset than a position or role in life. The majority of people equate being a student to a certain time in life, and that’s why once they are done with formal education they stop learning.

Being a student for life allows you to dwell in the sweet spot of the beginners’ mind. The beginners’ mind has the beautiful characteristics of curiosity, openness and is free of preconceptions.

When you think of yourself as a student for life you’re more willing to try new things because you’re always open to learning. And although you might be carrying the stigma of grades from your days in formal education, hopefully, you realize that grades only evaluated how you performed at that moment, and do not dictate how you’ll do in the rest of your life.

If it’s been some time since you learned something new then maybe today’s the day for you to become a student again. You don’t need to enroll in any official class or program, although there’s nothing wrong with that. Just start by spending some time thinking about what interests you and then read an article or book about that particular subject.

Look, by no means is it necessary for you to continue to be a student for life, and I as mentioned earlier, the majority of people stop learning the moment they don’t consider themselves students anymore. And if you want to be part of that majority, then that’s your prerogative. But, if you choose to be a student for life, then your curiosity and desire for learning will allow you to experience a freshness in life that the aforementioned majority will rarely experience.

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You connect with family.

You connect with friends.

You connect with co-workers.

You connect with your devices.

But, how often to do you set aside time to connect with yourself?

How often do you sync up with your own thoughts?

At first, it might seem odd, or you might feel like spending time getting to know yourself is a waste of time. But setting aside time for introspection is probably one of the most important things you can do for yourself.

And if doing something for yourself doesn’t motivate you, then I can almost guarantee you that setting aside time to know yourself will improve with how you connect with others. So they’ll benefit from you spending time with yourself.

Consider a little time spent reconnecting with yourself as an investment in the future you. And like most investments, you don’t see the returns right away. But over time you begin to gain the benefit of compounding.

Also, think about this, if you’re not willing to invest time in yourself, how can you expect others to invest in you?

Look, the reality is that spending time connecting with yourself is not mandatory, and you can go through life just fine without doing so.

But, what if knowing who you really are could give you just a little added advantage in life?

Isn’t that worth exploring?

Ultimately the decision of spending time connecting with yourself is obviously up to you. I hope you think and believe you’re worth the investment.

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I have some news for you.

Well, maybe more of a reminder than news.

Here it is.

You’re going to be wrong.

You’re going to make mistakes.

You’re going to screw up.

At least I hope you do.

Sound a little harsh?

Well, before you jump to a conclusion, hear me out.

I’m not wishing ill upon you.

In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

I sincerely hope that you don’t bubble wrap your life to the point where all you do is routine, mundane and predictable.

I hope that you don’t get to the point in your life where it looks as though you’re living in a padded 8 x8 cell. A point where you’re playing it so safe that you could cruise through life with your eyes closed, because if you are, then you’re missing the point of life.

Don’t get me wrong.

I’m not advocating for you to intentionally make big glaring mistakes and to keep repeating them. What I am saying is don’t fear mistakes or being wrong.

Mistakes and errors in life can be amazing opportunities for growth. They become lessons not only for you, but also teachable moments that you can help others learn from.

The last thing I want to add is that I know there are those that fear being wrong or making mistakes, not because they’re afraid to try, but, because they are concerned about what others might think of them. In fact, I would venture to guess that more people would risk screwing up or making mistakes, if they knew that no one else would find out.

If you’re one of these people, then know that you’re not alone.

Your concern is legitimate.

However, eventually, you’re going to have to make a decision about your life. You have to decide if you’re willing to forgo the things you want to try, and let your dreams and desires wither and die on the vine just because other people might see you be wrong or make mistakes. Or whether you’re going to forge ahead, chalking up every mistake and screw up as scars you collect as you adventure through life.

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Why does life seem to get in the way of life?

If you’re like so many others then you too probably have a list of things you’d love to do. But you’re list is gathering dust, just like the lists of so many others.

Slowly but surely, over time, your list of all the things you wanted to accomplish begins to take a backseat to all the important and urgent tasks in front of you.

Why does this happen?

Well, there are a couple of obvious reasons that apply across the board.

First, there are those things that you think you’d like to do. But you’re probably interested in them because at the time you heard about them, they had a cool factor, and they seemed like something you might want to do. These kinds of things on your list wane with time, and perhaps you realize that you didn’t really want to do them.

But then there are the things on your list that still stir up a part of you that longs for them. These are the ones that make you smile when you think about them. These are the ones that keep drawing you towards them. These are the things that you know you’ll regret if you don’t do them. But you never quite prioritize or commit time for them.

For these things, you must learn to make time.

You must find ways to re-prioritize you’re life so that you can experience what can only be described as your calling.

You don’t have to make daily, weekly, or even monthly commitments for them, but you must schedule time to experience those things that bring sparks of joy to your life.

As you move through life, the number of commitments tends to multiply and before you know it, life begins to get in the way of all the things you wanted to do. But you still have an opportunity, no matter where in life you are to begin to re-prioritize. Re-prioritize so that you can at least experience a little of what you really want to do, and ultimately minimize your regrets.

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You’re working so hard, trying to close the gap, between more and enough.

The problem is.

You’re working in the physical world.

To close a gap.

That doesn’t exist.

Except within you.

You’re wearing down your beautiful gifts.

Your body, your mind.

To achieve more.

When enough is within you.

Filling the gap between more and enough is an impossible task.

Filling the gap between more and enough is a possible task.

True or False?

It’s up to you.

If you start from the place that you’re enough then more is optional.

If you start with you need more to be enough, then more is required.

Just to be clear.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with more.

The problem arises when you think, or even worse, believe you need more to be enough.

The sooner you understand and believe that you’re enough, the further ahead you’ll be.

Further ahead?

Yes.

Don’t mistake further ahead, as further than others.

This is your journey.

So, as you step out into the world today, cloak yourself with the confidence of knowing that you’re already enough. Go out and do your best, not for more, but just for the pure pleasure, the good fortune of having the opportunity, of doing so.

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Today the chances are high that you will disappoint someone.

Why?

Because you’ll be non-compliant.

Because you’ll make a decision for yourself that will be contrary to what someone else wants you to do.

At least I hope you will.

I’m not suggesting or recommending that you set out on a regular basis looking for ways to disappoint people. What I am saying is that if you want to pursue goals and dreams that fulfill and satisfy your wants and needs, you’re going to have to build resilience and tolerance against other people’s disapproval and ultimately, disappointment with you.

There will be some people that will support and love you regardless of what you do, but those individuals are rare gems, and few and far between. You may only encounter a handful during your entire life, cherish them, and give them the same love and support they give you.

Disappointing others, or not seeking their approval is the price you have to pay for finding your own way, it’s the price you pay to becoming yourself.

Are you ready to pay the price?

Keep in mind, you’re not required to.

But if you don’t, there’s a chance that you’ll never really discover who you really are, or what you’re capable of.

If at some point during your life you don’t get used to disappointing people then you will never live your own life. You will always live the life other people want you to live.

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What happens when the thing that makes you happy today, no longer makes you happy tomorrow?

That once you grasp the object you desire, your desire for the object and the happiness it brought you, both disappear.

It’s been said that ‘happiness is fleeting,’ and if your happiness is tied to external factors then it’s almost guaranteed to be short-lived. You’ll begin to experience bubble gum happiness, the moment the flavor is gone, your happiness is over.

When your happiness is dependent on the things and people around you, you’re assuming you’ll be the same person forever. But soon you’ll realize that with time, you change, and that’s why the things and people that once brought you happiness, no longer do so.

So what’s the answer?

Well, you’ve probably heard it many times before, but since I have your attention, I’m going to take the liberty to re-iterate what you probably already know.

Try your best not to attach your happiness to the things you can’t control.

Yes, people and things both fall in the category of things you can’t control. I know this is not as simple as it sounds, but with practice, it’s close to being achievable.

If you choose to no longer attach your happiness to external factors then there’s going to have to be some unlearning on your behalf. You’re going to have to unlearn the messages you’ve been exposed to your entire life, showing and telling you how happy you’ll be if you just meet the right people, get the right job, or acquire the right things. Unfortunately, you’ve been misled.

You can still have all the things and people in your life, but if its happiness you’re after, then again, cliché, but true, ‘happiness is an inside job.’ It’s an emotion that you decide you’re going to experience and feel regardless of what you have or don’t have. Ultimately the choice is yours.

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Let’s do some math.

Don’t worry, it’ll be fairly easy.

Okay, are you ready?

Here you go.

0 x 10 =?

Too easy?

0 x 100 =?

Still too easy?

0 x 1,000,000 =?

One more.

1 x 1,000,000 =?

Did you get them correct?

I hope you did.

Do you know the percentage increase from 0 to 1?

If you said 100% then you are correct.

So why all the math?

To illustrate a point.

The difference between action and inaction is the difference between 0 and 1.

If you know anything about cars, then you’ll be aware the first gear that engages provides the most power to the transmission because that’s what’s needed to get the car moving.

It’s between 0 and 1 where you’ll have to gather your power, your courage, and lean into your faith as you take your first step. And your reward for doing so is that your first step will get you moving and provide you the initial momentum you need.

If there’s something you want to accomplish and you don’t take the first step towards it, then there’s literally no chance of you accomplishing it.

And yes, even if it’s the wrong step. Because in many cases you’ll learn even more from being wrong than you will from being right.

So if there’s something you want to accomplish, get yourself in gear and take the first step today. You’ll be 100% farther along than you were yesterday, and hopefully, now armed with just a little additional courage and knowledge, you can take the second step tomorrow.

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When does growth occur?

It’s been shown that in nature the most powerful trees and plants, the ones that are the most resilient are the ones that have had to battle the elements for survival. They have had to bury their roots deep into the ground and essentially hang on through adverse conditions in order to last.

You too are a product of nature and your growth also occurs when you encounter challenges and problems. It’s only then that you’re forced to lean into self-discovery and truly find out what you’re capable of.

Happy and fun times are wonderful, but they’re frictionless, and rarely teach you anything about yourself. And while you might have wonderful memories of the good times, it’s pulling through and facing the challenges that build your character.

It can be hard to view your struggles as your teachers, but if you’re able to do so then you’ll take the first step towards being grateful for them. You’ll realize that the event or experience you’re pushing through is indeed making you into a more resilient person.

Building your character traits of resilience, persistence, patience or any other trait that helps you overcome, or get through challenges is very similar to building your physical muscles. Your muscles have to endure a certain amount of strain and stress that cause them to breakdown in order to rebuild stronger.

So while you might not go through life looking for challenges don’t hide or run from them either. It’s the struggles, the growing pains that will test you and allow you to discover so much more about you that you might never have otherwise known.

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How many lists, processes, routines, and systems have you put in place just to get control of your day?

And even though you have all these techniques in place you still feel at times that things are spinning out of control. You feel as though things are falling through the cracks and you’re dropping the ball.

Your continuous effort to shape the world, to make the world conform to the way you’d like it to be can be exhausting and even demoralizing.

What if you stopped trying to control everything?

Does just the thought of doing so cause you anxiety?

Do you feel your body getting tense at the thought of not having control?

Continuously focusing on outcomes will almost always keep you in a never-ending stress cycle. And no matter how many lists or routines you have in place, there’s rarely a guarantee that things will work out exactly how you want them to. They might get close, but is close good enough for you?

One of the keys to relieving yourself of the stress of control is to be able to detach your actions from outcomes. I’m not advocating for you to give up on anything you’re attempting to accomplish, or that you shouldn’t have goals. What I’m suggesting is that you shift your focus from the end result to the task at hand.

You take action and surrender simultaneously.

The idea of surrender might have a negative connotation in your mind, and it could sound like I’m asking you to give up. And in a way I am, but not on your goals. Only your attachment to them.

Surrendering is not easy, especially if you’re used to the illusion of always being in control, or consider yourself a highly driven individual, but it is possible.

When you surrender, you have the opportunity to experience tranquility. A peaceful knowing that you’ve done what you can, you’ve set the ball in motion, now you observe and see where it lands. And then you can act again.

Try surrendering today. Start with a small task and see how you feel. If it doesn’t work for you, you can always go back to pretending you’re in control again.

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When was the last time you were still, not including when you were asleep?

The reality is that you can never really be still because you have a countless number of processes going on within your body at all times. But you can experience the benefits of consciously standing or sitting still, even if just for a few moments.

Being still for a few moments and experiencing some of the sensations your body is feeling can be thoroughly relaxing and can give you clues. By being still you can begin to learn from your body how you really feel about certain situations and whether to pursue them or not.

Stillness can give you additional perspectives that you might otherwise miss due to constant noise and bombardment of external inputs.

Being still gives you more room. I know this might sound contradictory, because who has time to do nothing? But it’s true. Being still isn’t the same as doing nothing, it’s consciously doing something. It’s allowing you to set your intention and doing what you want to do, rather than mindlessly continuing to do everything.

Almost all ancient religious texts have guidelines about some kind of stillness practice, and even though you might not be religious in the traditional sense, you can still benefit from the recommended practices.

Learning to incorporate a stillness practice into your daily routine can give you a respite from your continuous list of to-dos. Being still can provide you with a sense of control that you might otherwise feel that you don’t have over your life. So learn to be still. You might just be surprised to see how much more you get done.

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How successful are you?

Very, somewhat, not at all?

The answer is, it depends.

If you were the only person on the planet, then you’d never know how successful you were, because you’d have no one to compare yourself to. It’s only when you compare yourself to another can you say whether or not you’re successful.

The only reason you compare yourself to others is because you’ve learned to do so. It was taught to you as a child from your parents, teachers and the media, and now you can’t stop comparing.

Or can you?

First let me be clear, not all comparison is bad. If you use comparison to motivate yourself, then do so by all means. It’s when you compare yourself to others and then view yourself in a negative light when you see what others are doing or have achieved that the problems arise.

The comparison trap can be a hard one to escape from because you’re constantly bombarded with messages of how well or successful other people are, when the reality is that you’ll never really know how well anyone is doing but yourself.

Almost all measures of ‘success’ have been artificially created by society, by the people around you. If you’re fortunate enough to travel to other countries you’ll soon realize that idea of doing well or being successful varies amongst different cultures.

The interesting thing about the word success is that it’s rooted in the word succeed, which means to attain a desired object or end. And I can almost guarantee that according to this definition, you probably have some degree of success on a daily basis.

The most important thing you can realize about success is that it’s an individual journey. It’s how well you do when compared to you and no one else. The sooner you learn this the freer you’ll begin to feel. And once you experience this freedom, you’ll be able to take all the energy you were spending on comparing yourself to other people’s success and invest it back into yourself. I wish you success in doing so.

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