Raj Daniels

Newlyweds tragically killed in car crash.

Authorities say a new strain of COVID-19 puts millions of children at risk.

Banks threaten that a wave of foreclosures will ruin the housing market.

Stock market crashes.

Did you feel that?

The preceding headlines raised your blood pressure ever so slightly. Even worse, they tainted your mind for the entire day.

And yes, I apologize for doing so. But I’m trying to make a point.

I only wrote a few headlines.

How many negative headlines do you consume in a day?

Constant exposure to negative headlines is like allowing a boxer to jab at your brain relentlessly.

It will take its toll, especially if you begin your day with them.

You’re mistaken if you think reading the news or having the radio or TV playing in the background doesn’t affect you.

Your brain is always on and constantly scanning for information. And, due to an inborn survival mechanism, it will always seek out negative news first.

Ask yourself this question.

What would I miss if I didn’t hear or see the news for one day?

Or

What if I started my day with something positive and uplifting?

Would it change how you viewed the world?

I’m almost sure it would.

Yes, bad things are happening in the world, but most of them will not change your life.

So refrain from allowing headlines to color how you see the world, especially first thing in the morning. Your mind and your blood pressure will both be better off.

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You hear, but do you take time to listen?

You look, but do you take time to see?

You touch, but do you take time to feel?

You eat, but do you take time to taste?

Your senses connect you to the world and allow you to know and understand all that is going on around you.

Like most people, you probably take your senses for granted. And that’s understandable.

But what if, just once in a while, you stopped to appreciate them?

All the information you consume is sent to your brain through one or a combination of senses, and it’s only then that your brain can make decisions about what is best for you.

You can briefly focus on your senses by doing a quick sensory audit.

Go through each of your senses and, just for a moment, pay attention and experience each one.

Doing so will increase your awareness of your surroundings and allow you to be more present in what you’re doing.

Occasionally, grounding yourself through your senses is a beautiful exercise, almost like a brief reset in your day.

Your senses are your keys to the world.

Give them some attention and experience what they might unlock for you.

What will you do with your 26?

Will you malign or motivate?

Will you hate or love?

Will you create or destroy?

It’s almost impossible to comprehend the power behind the 26 building blocks of the English language.

Alone each letter seems powerless, just one small squiggle that is easily ignored. But when put together with thought and order, they have the power to set the world on fire.

If English is your first language, then each thought you express externally or internally is a collection of words built from these 26 blocks.

So, what will you do today with your 26?

I’m using mine to tell you how much I appreciate you.  And the world would not be the same without you.

What would the world look like if we all committed to a simple social agreement?

An agreement so simple we could all agree upon.

Well, at least most of us.

Okay, let’s narrow it down to just us.

You and me.

Are you in?

Here are the terms.

1. Make one person smile today. It doesn’t matter who it is.

It could be a co-worker, family member, friend, or even the cashier ringing up your groceries.

2. Think good thoughts about one person.

Again, it doesn’t matter who the person is.

3. Think of one good thought about yourself.

Yes, you are important too; you should know that about yourself. You’ve taken yourself for granted for way too long.

That’s it.

That’s the whole agreement.

It shouldn’t take more than a minute out of your entire day to execute all the items listed in the agreement.

Can I count on you to participate?

You can count on me.

Imagine what the world could look like if we all made a conscious effort every day to inject just a tiny amount of happiness into our lives and the lives of others.

I’m going to start by thinking a good thought about you.

Your car didn’t start?

You failed a test?

You were fired from work?

You had an accident?

Your heart was broken?

You lost a loved one?

You lost money?

You missed a flight?

Well, welcome to the club.

If you’ve experienced any of the above then you are member of the human club.

The fact is, difficulties and setbacks don’t just happen to you but also billions of other members.

The list you read is the shortlist. Many members have experienced and endured so much more.

I know when you joined the club, you weren’t told about all the things you might experience, but it’s because we didn’t want to scare you.

Now look at the list again.

Do you see the empty spaces between each question?

That’s where the beauty of life resides.

That’s where the fun happens.

And that’s what I want you to focus on.

That’s where your life will be moving along smoothly and you won’t realize it until you come up against the next challenge.

You will undoubtedly encounter challenges, but that’s the price of membership paid not just by you but by everyone around you.

However, if you can shift your focus from the price you pay to the benefits you get, and the moments you enjoy, then you’ll realize it’s well worth being a member of the club.

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When was the last time you painted by numbers?

Remember how the instructions clearly stated which color matched a number so you knew the correct color to be used on every part of the picture until, voila! You had a perfect piece of art.

What would have happened if the picture was incorrectly labeled?

You would still end up with a finished product, but it wouldn’t look like you expected it to.

Well, life is kind of like that.

You have an image in your mind about how life should be.

And you think you have all the colors.

But at times, the numbers are elusive.

Sometimes, you see them; at other times, they won’t appear until after you’ve painted.

And no one really knows which numbers and colors are matched together.

Your colors and numbers are unique to you.

Looking at your neighbor’s life is of little help to you since their colors and numbers differ from yours.

The beauty is that it’s your life, and you are painting your own original work of art, and although at times it might feel as though your life is similar to others, it’s still very different.

Your colors are your experiences, perspectives, skills, and talents.

So, use them all to create your own masterpiece.

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How’s that for a controversial title?

What do you think?

Is my statement incorrect?

Is your brain racing to search for examples of people from history or someone you know that you believe was wrong for sure?

I’ll help you out by taking some of the pressure of your brain.

Nobody ‘thinks’ they are wrong.

Is that better?

I hope we’re friends again.

What I’m attempting to convey is that nobody can ever really see the entire picture.

Everyone has their own perspective on what they believe to be real and true. And that makes is almost impossible to say if someone is really wrong.

I’m not making moral judgements on behavior here because even those are loaded with personal and cultural biases.

Your view on what is right and wrong is based upon the accumulation of your own experiences which are unique to you and only you.

So the next time you begin to judge someone as being wrong, try to pause for a moment just to remind yourself that you probably have no idea why they’re behaving the way they are.

And if after you pause you still feel that they’re wrong then feel free to let them have a piece of your mind.

But be prepared.

They might think you’re wrong for doing so.

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Cookie cutter.

Flawless.

Made to specifications.

Mass-produced.

Life is none of the above.

It’s different.

It can be messy.

There are no instructions that work all the time.

There are no guarantees.

Nothing is promised.

Not for you or anyone else.

And that’s the beauty of it.

That’s what provides you with the variety of emotions you experience.

Without sadness, you wouldn’t know what happiness feels like.

If you don’t experience anger, then you wouldn’t know the beauty that is calmness.

If you don’t know hate, you won’t recognize love.

Because of all your different experiences, you can really learn to appreciate the full range of emotions you have.

So don’t shy away from your emotions.

They’re not wrong; they are giving you a perspective. They add color to your life.

And remember, whatever emotion it is that you’re feeling, there’s always another one waiting for you at the other end of your experience.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

What would happen if you built a birdhouse and birds didn’t appreciate it?

Would you chastise the birds?

Sound a little ridiculous?

Well.

In your life, who do you do things for?

What happens if they don’t appreciate what you do?

Getting caught up in the outcome of your actions is a slippery road to travel, especially when you feel you are doing something for someone else. Because the reality is that even when you do something for someone, you do it to feel good about yourself.

Doing things for others helps you solidify your identity as a good person. It reinforces that you’re the kind of person that does things for others.

Who am I really doing this for is an excellent question to ask yourself.

If you can find a way to derive pleasure and satisfaction from the act of doing and not from the outcome, you can possibly alleviate a lot of heartache.

The next time you build a metaphoric birdhouse, try to enjoy the process. Take pride in your work and the fact that you build beautiful birdhouses, even if the birds never appreciate it.

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How many imperfect decisions do you make every day?

If you’re like most people, I would guess you make many of them. But you don’t realize that they’re imperfect because they seem trivial.

The breakfast you eat.

The car you drive.

The clothes you wear.

The kind of shampoo you use.

And many more, just like these, are all imperfect decisions.

But you’re okay with these decisions because, in your mind, they are, to some extent, easily correctable.

The people you see and perhaps even admire doing great things in their lives are also making imperfect decisions.

They’re just willing to make them on a grander scale.

You might see them change careers, experiment with big ideas, or relocate thousands of miles from their homes, all based on imperfect information.

They have learned to get used to making imperfect decisions because they realize they rarely have all the information needed to make a perfect decision.

You, too, will rarely have all the information you need to make a perfect decision, and the interesting thing about information is that it can also change with circumstances and time.

So, if you find yourself stuck in an area of life that you want to change, don’t wait for more or better information.

Start making imperfect decisions.

And remember, everything you see around you was made by people who knew they had to start with imperfect decisions.

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What is your definition of independence?

Is there any such thing as real independence?

The dictionary definition of independence is -freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like of others.

In my opinion, if you agree with the definition, then there really is no such thing as independence.

Perhaps there is some truth to freedom from control, but the control doesn’t often disappear; it just moves from one controlling entity to another.

And as far as influence and support, well, we’re all being influenced and supported to some degree by our environment.

Maybe we should pronounce the word differently, perhaps a little slower.

How about in-dependence?

The reality is that we are all in dependence of something.

So, instead of feeling as though we as individuals can survive without all that is around us because we feel that we are independent – we learn to love and respect all because we understand that we are, in fact, in dependence on everything and everyone around us.

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How long would it take you to watch an unedited version of a movie?

Well, it would depend on the movie.

I was surprised to learn that sometimes it can run as high as a 240 to 1 ratio.

What does this mean?

Well, I’m glad you asked.

In one example, it means that there were 480 hours of raw footage time that were shot to produce a viewing time of 2 hours.

In essence, it would take you 20 days to watch the unedited version of the movie.

So, how does this apply to you?

As you go through your day looking at and interacting with people around you, all you see is the edited versions of their lives.

You don’t see or experience the raw footage.

And you make assumptions about them based only on what you briefly see.

Then, you look at the raw version of your life and make comparisons based on that thinly sliced picture of their life.

The edited version of someone’s life is always cleanly cut and stitched together to provide you with a pleasurable viewing experience. And in many cases, if they’re not doing the editing, then your brain is doing it for you.

It’s difficult not to draw conclusions from what you see because your brain is wired to do so. But you’ll be much more content in your life if you can teach yourself not to draw comparisons between the unedited version of your life versus the edited version of theirs.

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How many types of bread can you think of?

Your answer is probably not even close to the number of different kinds of bread that exist.

There are countless recipes to make bread, and cultures worldwide make some form of bread based on the ingredients available to them.

And the equipment used to make the bread also varies from state-of-the-art ovens to open fireplaces.

Well, your life is like a different and unique bread recipe.

You might be advised about paths to take and what to do, but the people advising you don’t have the same equipment or ingredients you have access to.

In essence, each life is a different recipe.

Now, like bread, there are some similarities, but even a slight variation in ingredients and temperature will result in a very different product.

And the same applies to you.

If you find yourself confused or frustrated because you feel as though you’ve got the right ingredients and have taken all the ‘correct’ steps but haven’t seen the same results as others, then realize that no matter what you do, your results in life will be unique to your equipment and ingredients.

So, instead of fighting your uniqueness, leverage it and be the best bread you can be.

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What will you regret later in life?

This is a hard question to answer since it falls in the ‘you don’t know what you don’t know’ category.

But what if there was a way to know?

Perhaps not 100%, but close enough to make a difference.

Well, there might be.

In the past few years, I’ve been extremely fortunate to have spent some time with individuals who are in their 70s, 80s, and even a few in their 90s, and I’ve seen some common themes of regret among them.

The one most mentioned is not spending enough time with family, especially those with children. They say that those first few years with their children slipped away much quicker than they thought they would, and they were rarely able to recover their relationships.

A close second is they wished they dared to be more vocal with their opinions. This should come as no surprise if you’ve spent any time around the elderly. They tend to say what’s on their mind and don’t seem to care what others think about them. This might be because they know their time is limited and realize the repercussions no longer matter. 

The last one I’ll share is many of them wish they had taken more chances, said yes to more opportunities during their life, and prioritized some of their dreams and interests.

There are many more, but I’m only sharing the ones I’ve heard most often.

I share these with you not with any guarantee you won’t have any regrets, but at least make you aware and maybe prevent you from having similar regrets later in your life.

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What is your self-worth tied to?

Is it tied to your effort or outcomes?

Do you put your self-worth in the hands of others?

Your self-worth is a very delicate thing to manage because no matter how hard you try, you’ll almost always be comparing yourself to those around you.

You can feel comfortable knowing that it’s very rare to find an individual that doesn’t experience doubts about their self-worth no matter how confident they might seem to be.

A constant comparison to those around you is a killer of your self-worth because you’re tying your worth to their lives.

The interesting thing about self-worth is that the better you feel about yourself, the better you’ll show up in the world.

Building a sense of inner confidence, security and a feeling of worthiness about who you are will give you a richer, fuller life experience.

A strong self-worth will permit you to attempt to do more things in life because you won’t judge yourself as ‘less than’ if you don’t always succeed.

Working on building your self-worth is a worthy mission.

When you learn respect and regard your self-worth as something you value then you’ll begin to notice that those around you will begin to value you too.

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Are you a finisher?

Do you have to complete everything you start?

Does the idea of something being unfinished cause you anxiety?

The compulsion to bring everything to a conclusion might be holding you back, especially when it comes to creative endeavors.

If you speak to any creative, whether they are an artist, musician, or writer, they’ll all tell you that they have many unfinished projects.

Yes, there are always exceptions that see every project through to completion, but the majority, if given the opportunity to confess truly, will show you vast amounts of unfinished work.

So why do they have so much unfinished work?

Because they’re not afraid to start.

When they feel inspiration strike, they act, without a clear path ahead.  Often uncertain of what will happen next, they put pen to paper, brush to canvas, and start.

But they know a secret that many don’t.

Each additional action they take leads them closer to more finished work.

They know that all the dabbling and scribbling, the trying and the failing strengthens their resolve to try some more.

So if you’re the kind of person who has to bring every project to conclusion, then good for you.

But every once in a while, see if you can quash the need to have everything wrapped up with a nice little bow and try a few different things, even if eventually you’ll leave them unfinished.

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One brush.

One color.

One pen.

One sheet of paper.

What can you produce with just your mind and a limited set of tools?

Art – Da Vinci’s famous Vitruvian man created with a limited set of tools.

Books – The Bible, Gita, Quran, and Torah have influenced billions of people, and all were created with a limited set of tools.

Buildings – The Pyramids and the Taj Mahal have stood the test of time and were created with a limited set of tools.

Better tools or more tools are very often not the answer.

In fact, the idea that you need better tools is usually either a form of procrastination or an excuse for not starting.

And, once you begin with what you have you will eventually learn what more you might need, but very rarely will more sophisticated tools help you get started.

So get started with as little as possible and remember your imagination is unlimited so don’t let a limited amount of tools hold you back.

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Have you ever been around a hot mic?

If you have, then you know the potential of being overheard.

If you’re wondering what a hot mic is, then let me help you out.

A hot mic is a microphone that’s on and is ready to broadcast or record.

So, how would you behave if you knew there was always a hot mic nearby?

Would it change what you said out loud?

How would you talk about people if you knew there might be a chance they’d find out what you said about them?

If you’re willing to say out loud what’s on your mind and are not concerned about the consequences, then you have nothing to fear from hot mics.

But if not, then be aware.

Technology is currently on a path where you can expect there to always be a hot mic nearby. And there’s no guarantee that what you discuss and say in private, will remain private.

So, if you’re already in the habit of speaking about things you wouldn’t mind being heard, then good for you. But if not, then now might be a good time to start.

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There’s a great way to failure-proof your life.

It takes years to perfect but if you work really hard at it you’ll soon become an expert.

So, are you ready to become an expert in failure proofing?

Are you willing to put in the time?

Are you ready to follow every instruction?

Are you ready to sacrifice your life in order to become failure-proof?

Are you ready to commit?

Don’t read on until you’re really ready to do so.

Ready.

Set.

Stop.

That’s right.

Stop.

Don’t move.

Not even a muscle.

Just stay right where you are.

I guarantee you’ll never fail.

Unless of course, you fall over, because then you’ve failed at being still.

Look, the reality is that if you’re human then failure is inevitable. However, the stories you create around failure are up to you.

Tripping and falling while walking is technically failing at walking, but you’d get back up and continue walking and probably wouldn’t think twice about it. That’s because, in your mind, the story you tell yourself about tripping while walking is that it’s just part of the process.

Well, so is failure in other parts of your life.

It’s just part of the process.

So don’t work on failure proofing.

Work on resilience.

Change your perspective of failure and see it as learning, as experience, and not as something that prevents you from trying.

Realize that attempting to failure proof your life is a fool’s errand, and is ultimately impossible.

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Look around you.

They’re all just like you.

Yes, colors, shapes, sizes, and even genders might differ, but deep down, they’re just like you.

Their concerns and fears.

Their needs and wants.

Their desires and discomforts.

Their insecurities.

Almost all are similar to yours.

Even the ones you put on a pedestal.

The ones you think are better than you.

The ones you disdain.

The ones you think you’re better than.

They’re just like you.

And just like you, none of them escape the emotions and feelings involved in being a human.

At times you might feel as though it’s only you experiencing a certain set of feelings, but know that many of those around you have probably also experienced similar emotions.

So as you go about your day undulating between waves of highs and lows, have grace and patience with all who are around you, because just like you, they’re in the same boat too.

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