Raj Daniels

Do you know what you’ll have after today?

After today you’ll have one day less.

You’ll have one day less to pursue your dreams and goals.

You’ll have one day less to spend time with people you love.

You’ll have one day less to tell them that you love them.

You’ll have one day less to remind yourself just how lucky you were to be here.

You’ll have one day less to be you.

Life is one big subtraction machine and each day that goes by gives you one day less. And although your age increases you can’t add days to your life, you can however add life to your days.

As the old cliché goes, ‘today is a gift and that’s why it’s called the present.’ And like many clichés there’s some truth to it. However, the gift you’re given of each day cannot be collected or stored, it must actually it will be spent whether you want to or not.

So what will you with your gift of today?

What will you do to add life to your days?

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

Heads I win, tails you lose.

How do you like that deal?

Does it work for you?

It works for me.

I love being right and winning every time.

How about you?

The temptation to always be right is so alluring that the cost associated with it is often forgotten. And you incorrectly think that the other person has lost, but you too have incurred a loss. You just haven’t experienced it yet.

Buried deep down in human nature there’s a need for survival, and survival is inextricably tied to the desire to defend ourselves and this can also manifest itself in the need to be right.

But it can come at a cost.

All relationships begin as fragile structures and if individuals consistently feel like they need to defend themselves then cracks will begin to form.

Best-selling author Eckhart Tolle describes the need to be right “as a form of violence. At its mildest, it is inflexibility. At its height, it manifests as dominance. The compulsion to inflict our opinions of the world on another originates in fear. Its opposites are humility and compassion.”

Walking away from an argument or conceding to being wrong is extremely difficult to do, but it is possible.

There’s a great question you can ask yourself.

Would you rather be happy or would you rather be right?

Obviously like any other tool this question will not work every time, but if nothing else, if it gives you the opportunity to pause for a moment and evaluate the situation at hand then the question has done its job.

Heads I win, tails you lose might seem attractive at first glance, but the problem is that the person you’re playing with will eventually catch on and will no longer want to engage in your game.  Learning to occasionally concede in relationships doesn’t make you a loser; it gives you the opportunity to play again.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

What are your thoughts about IFTTT?

I apologize. First let me explain what IFTTT stands for.

If This, Then That.

In the world of software development IFTT is a conditional statement, and there are tools that help developers automate conditional actions.

What are your default conditional actions and statements?

We all have a set of automated reactions and responses that we use to guide us through our day because it would be exhausting to make decisions about each situation as it arises.

However, the challenge occurs when your automated responses begin to cause problems. When your internal IFTTT statements no longer provide the outcomes you’re seeking.

When your IFTTT statements have in fact become your habits.

The good news is that just like the software developer you too can change your IFTTT statements.

You can choose any of the following statements or even create your own.

If this then what.

If this then maybe.

Or even a firm, if this then no.

The ‘if’ is the trigger that sets of your conditional statements.

You have the power to change your own IFTTT statements. And if you pay attention then you’ll quickly learn that the ‘if’ is your first opportunity to edit how you will respond to both external and internal triggers.

Remember, conditional statements are just that, conditional statements. They are only permanent if you want them to be.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

What are our common denominators?

If you remember back to fractions in your math class the common denominator was when the number under the numerator (top number) was the same.

Well as people we all have common denominators.

We all have things in common that we are all striving for and working towards.

You can boil them down to a degree of comfort, a desire to feel as though you are loved, friendship and some semblance of predictability or stability in life.

If you spend enough time with people you will find that these denominators and perhaps a few that I’ve missed is what binds us together as humans. That we are all essentially seeking the same things in life, we’re just going about it in different ways.

Once you realize that the person next to you or across from you is just like you then you can begin to have the same empathy for them that you hope people have for you.  And that although your physical appearance is different from each other, deep down your desires are the same.

Seeing people as you see yourself can change your perspective on almost every interaction with another person if you let it, and they will feel it. You will begin to exude natural warmth because you’ll start to treat other people the way you want to be treated.

When you begin to focus on the common denominators they will become amplified and you will begin to transition from an individual mindset to a collective mindset. You will begin to behave in a way that’s not just good for you, but also good for everyone.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

What does the ideal occupation look like?

What does the ideal person look like?

What does the ideal relationship look like?

The ideal anything is a fiction created in a moment.

It’s when your mind allows all the best qualities it can imagine to come together and form an ideal of an object, person or situation. The problem is that your mind cannot distinguish the difference between imagination and reality, so when it conjures up the image of ideal, it does so in a space where little else exists.

In fact even one of the dictionary definitions for ideal is, “existing only in the imagination; desirable or perfect but not likely to become a reality.”

How often have you tried to pursue an ideal in an area your life?

What did you learn?

I’m not attempting to dissuade from pursuing your dreams or goals, nor am I suggesting that some kind of ideal isn’t possible. What I am saying is that there will always be a difference between your imagination and reality, and the degrees of differences will depend on case by case basis.

For instance, if you imagine an ideal inanimate object then the odds of creating such a thing is much higher because you are manipulating molecules to meet certain specifications. But if you try to do the same thing with a person or situation, the likelihood that you will succeed is very slim.

In most cases, pursuing an ideal anything can be considered a fool’s errand, especially if you start comparing your real life to your idealized life.

And just imagine if you were able to create a reality where all your ideals came true. It might sound good for a moment, but do you remember what happened in the fable of King Midas?

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

How’s your relationship?

With  yourself.

Is it good?

Do you enjoy being you?

If not all the time then at least most of the time?

Are you kind to yourself when you make mistakes?

Do you practice self-forgiveness?

Do you love yourself regardless of what happens in your life?

If you can’t fully accept, forgive and love who you are then how will you allow others to do so?

Practicing compassion and love for yourself doesn’t mean you stop striving to be a better version of you, if that’s what you want. It does mean accepting the current version in its full form.

Almost everyone has experienced the voice of their inner tormenter just waiting to put them down and taunt them when they make a mistake. For some the voices are so loud and consistent that it paralyzes them from attempting anything.

Self-love doesn’t eliminate the voice, doubt, fear or any other such emotion but it does help you work through them. It provides you with a warm protective blanket; a security that regardless of what happens, you will always love you.

Building a strong loving relationship with yourself is one of the best things you can do for yourself and ultimately for those around you. It does take practice and you might have to remind yourself just how important you are to you. But once you get in the habit of doing so, you will experience a noticeable shift in your life and how you view other people too.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

Do you know that you’re contagious even though you might be feeling fine?

Yes, your energy is contagious.

You can change the feelings and mood of people around you just by your presence.

Energy is constantly emanating from your body and people can feel it.

You’ve probably experienced someone asking if you’re okay without you saying anything. That’s because they can feel your energy, also commonly known as your vibe, which is short for vibration.

You can learn to control your energy so that people enjoy being around you. This doesn’t mean you should fake it, because people will sense that too.

Controlling your energy starts with your mind. Your ability to be present in moments without carrying too much baggage from the past and not living too far in to the future allows you to create a calm energy in the present.

You can then use your calmness as a foundation for admiration, enthusiasm, love or any other emotion you want to feel in that moment. And that’s the energy and vibration that people will experience and feel.

So keep in mind that you’re always radiating energy and since you’re going to be contagious, why not be the kind of contagious that people enjoy catching.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

What is a word?

A word is nothing by itself.

A word is whatever meaning you give to it.

When you were born you had no concept of words. You were taught to give meaning to words.

What if you were taught incorrectly?

Words are used to give meaning to things so that we can neatly categorize them in our minds. Take something simple like the word tree. Apparently there are over 60,000 different kinds of tree, but when you see a tree you just say or think tree and move on, because it’s easier to think this way.

This might be okay for objects, but what about words that evoke emotions.

Take the word fair.

If I say ‘she’s so fair,’ and you can’t see her, what thought comes to mind?

Does she have a lighter skin tone or a just disposition?

Your answer will depend on the context. Yes, how I use it the phrase is important but so is how you see the world.

Giving too much or too little weight to words people say will dictate how you feel about them, and how you feel about yourself.

Ultimately you get to decide how important words are and how much power you give them. Don’t forget that every word you say and hear was made up by someone at some point in time so they could categorize their own personal situation in their mind.

A word meant nothing until someone said it did.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

How does it feel to be essentially anonymous?

Don’t worry, you’re not alone.

The vast majority of people that have ever lived have lived in relative anonymity.

Even with all the talk about the internet making the world a much smaller place and the ability to have a global presence, which is all true to a certain extent, most people will live in obscurity.

With an estimated global population of about 7.6 billion people, you represent 0.000000013158% of the global population. And just so you don’t feel alone, you should know that you and I together represent 0.000000026316%. As you can see, that’s a lot of zero’s before we’re even close to being a whole number. .

So the majority of people in the world will never know that you existed. But there’s a handful of people that will, and for some of them, you are their world.

You are and always will be the most important person they might ever encounter.

You will be the one, the 100% to them.

Although Shakespeare so eloquently wrote “All the world’s a stage,And all the men and women merely players;They have their exits and their entrances,And one man in his time plays many parts…etc.” He didn’t define size of the world or the stage.

Your performance on your world and stage is with those that are closest you. The ones you interact with on a daily basis. The ones whose lives you’ll be able to change and influence forever. The ones you’ll never be anonymous for.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

How long will it take to get there?

This is a very common question asked when making travel plans and even during a trip.

And the answer is usually in the form of, well, under current conditions.

And regardless how good the estimates of time might be prior to the trip, they will change based on the length of the trip and the conditions of the day.

A short trip is obviously more predictable because fewer factors are involved and if you’ve taken the trip before then prior knowledge can also be of benefit to you.

However, long journeys to unknown places are unpredictable and that’s when you start of relying on the estimates of current conditions and hope they continue.

Life is also a long journey to an unknown place and with constantly changing conditions.  And when you set out to work on a goal it’s just like taking that long trip. All your estimates will be based upon current conditions and what you know, however the larger the goal the more unpredictable conditions will be.

This should not dissuade you from attempting to work towards large goals but when you encounter situations you didn’t or couldn’t predict, remind yourself that you’re stepping out in to unfamiliar territory and unknown conditions.

Everyone sets out under current conditions. Some get to where they’re going sooner or later than others. Others give up and turn back.

If your goal is important and has meaning to you then you’ll appreciate the current conditions, and find a way to work through the guaranteed unknown conditions that lie ahead.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

Have you ever used a change machine?

You know the kind where you insert a paper dollar bill and get coins back.

You dollar bill is transformed. It’s still money but it looks and feels totally different.

This is what change is about.

If you want to change anything about yourself you have to be willing to totally transform parts of you.

You have to commit to the irreversible metamorphosis the way a caterpillar becomes a butterfly.

Real successful change doesn’t have a middle ground.

Yes, there’s a midpoint during the transformation but once you’re committed and cross that point there’s no going back, because if you do go back then, you really haven’t changed.

Change is hard.

Change is probably one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do in your life.

Why?

Because change is new, it’s unknown. You’re not aware of what will happen when you change and so it’s easier to stick with the familiar.

The thing is that you were built for change.

Humans are the ultimate change machines.

They have survived for thousands of years because they were able to change.

Fortunately for you, change doesn’t have to be as dramatic as the dollar changing machine or the caterpillar.

You can do it slowly, but if you want it to last you have to keep moving through the hard parts.

Look, the reality is that physically you are in a constant state of change. It’s just that you’re doing it involuntarily.

The miracle of nature is doing it all for you.

The change most people desire is mental, and that takes a work, actually it takes more commitment than work.

The commitment is the work.

If you you’re willing to invest in continued commitment to whatever change you want to make in your life then you will experience conscious transformation. If you’re not willing to commit then you will experience frustration.

Keep in mind that you’re not required to change, and you only have to if want to experience life differently than you are right now.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

What are your blind spots?

Everyone has them.

They are the things you do, say or think that other people know and see about you that you can’t see for yourself.

How do you discover your blind spots?

This is the hard part.

Ask people to tell you what they see are your blind spots and then be open to listening, without being defensive.

Athletes are great at this because their livelihood depends on always getting better, so they are continuously open to coaching that helps them eliminate their blind spots.

The majority of everyday people rarely want to know about their blind spots, and this leaves them open to staying stuck in behavior patterns and also repeating mistakes.

If you’re not open to external evaluations then at least make an effort to be more self-aware. This can be accomplished by monitoring your own behavior and emotions.

A simple journaling exercise that you can do during your day can be very helpful. Learn to pay attention to your feelings when you’re making decisions or having conversations. Really feel your body language when you’re responding and speaking to others. And then take some quick notes to remind you. Very soon you’ll be able to see patterns of behavior begin to emerge and then you take steps to continue or correct your behavior based on the outcomes you’re looking for.

If you do decided to investigate your blind spots you can learn more about them by researching the Johari Window, a technique that helps people better understand their relationship with themselves and others.

The funny thing about blind spots is that addressing them is an ongoing process because as you are and always will be a work in progress.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

You can only see this.

You can only read this.

No, you can’t have more.

You can only have what I give you.

You don’t know what you’re missing.

You don’t know what you’ll be getting next.

Sorry, you don’t come here for freedom to choose.

Only I decide what you read and see.

And if I do this long enough, I’ll know exactly what you’re thinking, because I’m the one prodding and prompting you to think that way.

Are you okay with this?

These are not some ambiguous statements.

These are the agreements, terms and services you agree to when you engage with media, especially social media.

Imagine how you would feel if someone came in to your house and started dictating what and when you could eat, and what you could look at.

How would you respond?

Hopefully you’d remove them from your home as soon as possible.

You see, every picture and word you expose your mind to provoke a thought. Even this sentence is stimulating a thought as you read it.

The technology of the infinite scroll has been weaponized against you. And you are being coerced in to guzzling at the endless trough of information being poured in to your mind, most of which doesn’t affect or benefit your life one way or another.

If you don’t believe me then step away from all media for 48 hours and see if you’re life falls apart.

I’m sure it won’t, but don’t worry because if you do begin to feel your life crumble you can always go back to it because it will be waiting for you.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

Can you believe she did that?

Can you believe he said that?

What were they thinking?

Sorry, but what were you thinking?

Oh.

I get it.

It’s because that’s not what you would have done or said.

You would have done or said it differently.

Yes, but they aren’t you, and obviously you are not them.

Then why the shock and surprise?

Were you expecting them to be just like you?

Can you imagine a world where we act and react… just like you?

Nope.

Neither can I.

According to science, at our core DNA level we are 99.9% the same, but it’s that .1% that makes us different in what seems to be millions of different ways.

It’s our differences that make us unique, and yes, that includes you.

So although at times you might have trouble expressing or masking your disbelief about another person’s actions, keep in mind that there’s probably someone else feeling or thinking the same thing about you too.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

When you take the quickest route?

When shave a few minutes of a meeting?

When you multitask?

When you’re hyper efficient?

What do you do with all the time you save?

Do you spend it on others or yourself?

Or do you continue find others ways to save time?

Being effective and being efficient are not the same.

In fact there is a huge body of recent research showing that much of the anxiety and stress that people are suffering with is because they are attempting to do too much in too little time.

Modern machines and computers give the illusion that everything can be made to go faster and be more efficient, but humans aren’t machines.

Humans are nature and nature has its own rhythm and speed.

In nature we expect a flower or plant to bloom or produce fruit at its own unique speed.

And like nature, each person is unique, with their own ideal operating speed.

If you find yourself attempting to insert efficiency in every aspect of your life you won’t find that you’ll get life done quicker than anyone else. And if you’re like most people, the time you save will rarely be spent on something more productive or useful.

So you decide.

Do you want to be effective or efficient?

Do you want to be and live like a human or a machine?

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

What are your talents?

Is there a particular skill or subject that you excel at?

No need to be modest here.

Everyone has something they know or have been told that they’re good at, or have been formally qualified to do.

Here’s a short list of some of the more common skills.

Art

Craft work

Cooking

Engineering

Financial

Math

Medicine

Public Speaking

Strategy

Writing

And there are many more.

What if you made time to share your skills or talents?

What if you committed to spending just a small amount of your time sharing or teaching what you know to someone that wants to learn?

Your skills and talents are gifts that you can pass on and still keep. They can never be taken from you yet you can enrich the life of another person by sharing them.

Consider sharing your talents, giving them away to improve the life of another person. Who knows, the next time you need to learn something, someone might do the same for you too.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

How much emotional interest do you charge?

When someone slights or wrongs you how long do they have to continue paying for their original transgression towards you?

Do you continue to remind them?

Do you make sure they never forget?

How about you?

How much emotional interest do you pay?

When you experience a negative emotional event in your life how long do you continue carrying it with you, essentially paying for it over and over again?

And if you’re like the majority of people then you probably only carry emotional interest on negative events and very quickly forget positive events.

Rarely do you see someone happy and smiling about a great event that happened to them a week ago, but you’ll find traces of a negative event tend to linger in their psyche so much longer.

The great Albert Einstein once said “Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world.” And this is because it allows the interest on money to earn interest, growing on itself like a snowball.

Emotions will do the same if you let them.

The longer you decide to carry an emotion about an event the stronger it will grow, basically compounding interest on your original emotion.

So your choices are, how much emotional interest do you want to charge others and perhaps even importantly, how much emotional interest do you want to pay?

Be careful and choose wisely, because if you overcharge others or overpay yourself then both can lead to emotional bankruptcy.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

When was the last time you experienced a full uninterrupted moment with another person?

Where just for a moment the other person was all that you could hear and see?

Where just for a moment all your attention was focused on them?

Where just for a moment they were the most important person in the world?

John Steinbeck wrote “Try to understand men, if you understand each other you will be kind to each other. Knowing a man well never leads to hate and nearly always leads to love.”

Ponder that for a moment.

Now imagine what the world would look like if we all practiced understanding first.

Stephen Covey captured a similar sentiment when he said “seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

But seeking to understand takes intent. It takes time.

And not shallow time, flitting between disengaged and engaged.

It requires big full moments of time without distractions.

The next time you have the good fortune of engaging with another person give them your full attention even if it’s for just a short amount of time.

And yes, I say good fortune because having the opportunity to spend time with someone should not be taken for granted. In fact there are many lonely individuals that crave attention and the interaction of another human.

So put the words of Steinbeck and Covey to practice and experience the richness that an uninterrupted, fully engaged moment with another person can provide for them and for you.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.