Problem Butler

There are no big problems, there are just a lot of little problems. Henry Ford

What would your life be like if you had someone to solve all of your problems?

If you had your own personal problem butler that appeared every time you had a problem and said “here let me take that for you?”

Do you believe such a person would make your life better or easier?

Would you really give all of your problems to someone else to solve?

Or would you keep some for yourself?

Imagine how plain your life would be if you had absolutely no problems, if every day sailed along smoothly without as much as hiccup for you to overcome.

Very soon boredom would set in.

It’s probably not the case that you don’t want any problems, more than likely you wish you could pick and choose from a problem buffet. And you’d pick the ones you think you could solve and leave the rest for others.

But then life becomes predictable.

And again boredom would set in.

Problems are a strange phenomenon because so many aspects of a problem boil down to perspective. Have you ever noticed how you can see how others should solve their problems but struggle with your own? It’s because you have an outside in view of their problem.

Now you can do the same for yourself too, with your own personal problem butler.

Well not quite, but close.

Writing your problems out on paper can give you an opportunity to approach them with different perspective and an additional benefit is that you can get them out of your head, at least temporarily.

Once they are on paper you can break them down into smaller, more manageable pieces and give each one the focus it requires.

Removing your problems from your mind can help you with any anxiety or overwhelm you might be experiencing. In fact journaling has been recommended by therapists for this very reason.

So although you may never have your own personal problem butler, there’s a sheet of paper somewhere close to you saying “here, let me take those for you.”

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Bernoulli’s Principle

Faith is permitting ourselves to be seized by the things we do not see. Martin Luther

What is Bernoulli’s Principle?

If you know then pat yourself on your back because there’s only a few people that can remember what it is from their high school science classes.

Bernoulli’s Principle states that “For any airfoil generating lift, there must be a pressure imbalance, i.e. lower average air pressure on the top than on the bottom. Bernoulli’s principle states that this pressure difference must be accompanied by a speed difference.”

Isn’t that amazing?

Just kidding!

Let me simplify.

In order to create lift for an airfoil aka wing of an airplane and keep an airplane afloat, air must pass over the top of the wing faster than the bottom of wing.

That’s right. Air!

The job of a propeller or jet engine is to move the aircraft forward in such a way that the Bernoulli Principle can work. But it’s all based on air.

When was the last time you saw air?

You know it’s all around you because hopefully you’re breathing it right now.

So here we are as a collective species basing our entire existence on something we take for granted yet cannot hear, see or touch, unless under certain controlled circumstances.

That’s a lot of faith.

What if you could use that same faith to propel yourself forward through life with a knowing that there are certain principles in place that are working for you too?

What if there’s a version of the Bernoulli Principle for humans too?

It might exist, but you won’t find it unless you have faith, and not necessarily faith in a religious context, although that might and does work for some people. But faith that there are indeed other forces beyond your capacity to understand, that are just waiting to be activated by you.

So the next time you see an airplane remember that its entire premise is based on the invisible and visible working together. And this applies in your life too.

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Control of a Moment

Change your thoughts and you change your world. Norman Vincent Peale

What is the only thing you can really control?

It’s not people.

It’s not outcomes.

And most of the time it’s not even yourself.

The only thing you can control, if you pay attention, is your thought for a moment. I was tempted to say thoughts but realize that thoughts are like an infinite chain of falling dominoes where one leads to another and another until they are consciously interrupted.

If you pay attention, your extent of control is to the thought you’re having right now as you read this. And in this split second you must decide how you’ll react to it, because if you don’t, your brain will go in to auto-pilot and find a previous thought to fill the gap so you don’t have to expend any additional energy.

Your brain is an expert at filling thoughts and creating thought patterns for you because it saves you time and energy and you’re brain loves conserving energy.

Stop reading for a moment and ask yourself what thought are you having right now.

I’ll wait.

.

.

.

Were you able to stop reading and focus on your thought?

If you did then you experienced control for a moment.

The interesting thing about being able to control your thoughts for a few moments is that it helps you re-write old thinking patterns, which can ultimately change the direction of your life.

So if you find yourself struggling to change a behavior or habit or if you think you’d like to change how you react to certain situations then begin to practice taking control of your thought, for just a moment.

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The Winner Is…?

There isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion. Dalai Lama

Who’s going to be the lucky winner today?

Who’s going to be the one person that you’re going to shower with kindness and affection today?

Who’s going to be the one person that you’re going to make feel special today?

Who’s going to be the one lucky person in your life today?

Will it be a co-worker, family member, friend or complete stranger?

It’s okay if you don’t know yet, you still have time to choose someone. But when you do, don’t tell them. Just be super nice to them.

If they know you and are surprised by your affection and kindness, well, then I guess you’ve learned something about your relationship with them.

If they’re a stranger then they’ll think you’re like this all the time and maybe you’ll increase their faith in humanity.

I know you’re busy and like most people have a lot going on, but taking a few moments out of your day to make another person feel special can go a long way for them and you.

You never know when one act of kindness could change the trajectory of another person’s life.

So pick a winner that you’re going to make feel special today and who knows, someone might be choosing you to be the lucky winner of their affection and kindness too.

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Other People’s Happiness

Happiness is a hard master, particularly other people's happiness. Aldous Huxley

Do you believe it’s your duty or responsibility to make someone else happy?

If you don’t then you might be considered a sociopath or someone with a lack of conscience, but you’ll also have a sense of freedom that most people will never experience.

However, if you do believe it’s your responsibility then you’re going to have to tread a very slippery slope. And you’ll know when you start down this slope because if you pay attention you’ll begin to notice their moods changing, sometimes erratically in accordance to your behavior.

Taking responsibility for another person’s happiness can be huge burden for you to carry, because eventually your life will be driven by how they feel and not by what you want.

This is not to say that you should start indulging in sociopathic behavior, but you should definitely not position yourself as the single provider of a person’s happiness.

This applies back to you too.

If you’re relying on someone else to make you feel happy then not only are you burdening them but you’re being irresponsible for your own feelings too. You’re also leaving yourself vulnerable to their behavior and whims.

Managing or mastering your own emotional state is a difficult task in itself and can take a lifetime of effort and practice. And ultimately you’ll learn that you can only really make yourself happy, and hope that others learn that lesson for themselves too.

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How They See You

“How you perceive yourself is how others will see you.” – Paul Arden

Would you like to hear people say these things about you?

You’re caring.

You’re capable

You’re confident.

You’re kind.

You’re lovable.

You’re smart.

You’re thoughtful.

Do you think these things about yourself?

Scratch that.

Do you really believe these things about yourself?

How you see yourself will be amplified and then communicated within every interaction you have. Your view of yourself will show up in your actions, body language and the words you use when you’re speaking to people.

Focusing on behaving and building the character traits you want to be known for is much easier than convincing others and once you begin to act in alignment with how you feel about yourself, others will begin to see you that way too.

Your thoughts about yourself are your keys to how others perceive you and ultimately what they’ll say about you. And although your identity shouldn’t be dependent on what people say and think about you, navigating socially is easier when people view you in a positive light.

So begin to believe about yourself what you want others to believe about you, and you’ll find that over time people will indeed see you, how you think of yourself.

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For What and for Whom?

The only questions that really matter are the ones you ask yourself. Ursula K. Le Guin

Are you familiar with the questions, for what and for whom?

In business it’s a common way to describe what your product or service is used for and who will be your customer or user.

You can also use the same questions as a useful tool in your life outside of business.

When you look at your daily life activities you can ask yourself what you are doing them for and for whom.

It’s a good way to keep a check on why you do what you do.

In business, if you can’t continue to answer these questions then eventually you go out of business because you lose sight of the bigger picture.

In life if you don’t have an answer for these questions then you begin to feel out of control and perhaps even a little lost.

You can almost consider these questions to be a personal compass that you can use to guide you through life.  They can also provide you with some balance because if you find that everything is you do is only for you then you have the opportunity to course correct if you choose to.

Take some time for yourself to think through and answer these questions; because the more time you spend not knowing for what and for whom the less time you’ll have to get back on track.

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How Are You?

You are never alone - the universe

How do you respond when you’re asked ‘how are you?’

Great.

Good.

Okay.

Or

Not so good.

Struggling.

Having a hard day.

Current culture tends to reward the positive responses, and media has shaped people’s minds in to thinking that you should always be happy and feeling great, and if you’re not then something must be wrong with you.

So how are you supposed to respond when you’re not having a good day?

It can be challenging and depends on who you want to share your struggles with. For some, admitting to struggles is a sign of weakness, so they choose to live behind a thin veneer of pretense. The truth is that everyone has hard days and challenges they are dealing with. That’s just part of the human condition.

Answering the ‘how are you question’ can also be a little tricky because you have to gauge the person that’s asking you the question. Are they asking just to be polite or do they really care and want to know?

If you feel they’re just asking to be polite then the choice is yours but if you think they really care then if you’re having down day, venture to share the truth.

Allowing yourself the freedom of expressing how you really feel can be difficult because there is a fear that you’ll be judged, but keep in mind that you’ll be judged either way. Everyone knows that no one is always great, so when you have the opportunity and safety to share how you really feel then do so. You might just give someone else a safe place to share how they really feel too.

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Self-Care

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. Buddha

What is your self-care routine?

Do you have one, or are you just flying by the seat of your pants hoping that your body and mind will keep up with you?

Self-care doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of time or money on yourself. It means devoting intentional time in rest and recuperation.

It means taking a few minutes every day to invest in your body and mind.

It means putting yourself first.

Self-care is important because it reminds you that you are important too.  And the feeling that you are important increases your self-worth which in turn directly affects how you show up for others.

Self-care is not about de-prioritizing other responsibilities. It’s about adding yourself to your list of responsibilities.

Your self-care routine could be as simple as taking a daily walk, spending a few minutes reading, or even a short meditation session. Just something that says, ‘this is my time and I’m going to spend it on me because I’m important too.’

So get in the habit of carving out time for self-care. And if you feel any guilt in taking time for yourself, like some do, then try to convince yourself that you’re doing because it’ll make other people happier to be around you. So in essence you’re doing it for them, not you.

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It’s Obvious

“Never assume the obvious is true.”  ― William Safire

What’s obvious to you?

When did it become obvious?

Is it obvious to everyone?

And, is it really obvious or only obvious to some?

Let’s look at simple example.

When did it become obvious to you that water is wet?

Follow my thinking here.

You didn’t realize that water was wet until someone told you it was. You knew that if you touched water you’d experience something, but you didn’t have a name for that experience or feeling until someone said something along the lines of if you do that you’ll get wet. And you probably didn’t question the person that told you water is wet because there was some form of authority or power in your relationship with them.

But how about now, are you still relying on what other people tell you should be obvious to you?

Obvious can be used as a limiting tool if you let it. It can be set as an imaginary line in the sand that says to you, of course you should know this so don’t question it because no one else does.

When find yourself saying or thinking something is obvious, question it for a moment, especially if you’ve never really encountered the situation before and are relying solely on the word of another. And refrain from telling others what should be obvious to them, because what’s obvious to you is the sum of your unique experiences, not theirs.

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As Planned

“All human plans [are] subject to ruthless revision by Nature, or Fate, or whatever one preferred to call the powers behind the Universe.”  Arthur C. Clarke

What do you do when things don’t go as planned?

Do you panic?

Do you complain?

Do you give up?

Or do you buckle down and make a new plan?

Hardly ever do you ever hear of any endeavor whether personal or professional executed exactly as planned. In fact more often than not you’ll hear people say they had to course correct, improvise or in extreme situations throw out the plan and create a new one.

Probably the only time you’ll experience or hear of things going exactly as planned is on a production line where machines have been calibrated as tightly as possible and seldom involve human interaction.

Planning provides you with an estimation and rough roadmap that might help you achieve the things you are pursuing, but planning doesn’t guarantee anything.

Since things rarely go as planned doesn’t mean that planning is a waste of time. Planning allows you to think out loud. It allows you think through and account for all the possible known impediments and perhaps even imagine some unknowns.

The experience of things not going as planned is not unique to you. So when things don’t go as planned and you feel like giving up, don’t. In fact, give yourself a hug, say a few encouraging words and then put your pen to paper and create a new plan.

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Slick Willie Sutton

One of the fastest ways to find the solution to an issue or challenge you are facing is to ask the right questions. Robin S. Sharma

Have you ever heard of Slick Willie Sutton?

If yes then good for you, but if you haven’t then no need to worry because I’m about to tell you who he was.

Slick Willie Sutton aka Willie Sutton was a bank robber and committed most of his crimes in the early 1900’s.

So what does a bank robber have to do with you?

Well, I’m glad you asked.

One day Slick Willie was asked by a reporter why he robbed banks, and rumor has it that he replied “because that’s where the money is.”

Read that last line again.

Makes sense right?

He went to the place where he would find what he was looking for because he had asked the right questions.

What are you looking for and are you asking the right questions and searching in the right places for the answers?

Or are you a practicing the Streetlight effect?

What is the Streetlight effect?

Here you go.

The Streetlight effect

A policeman sees a drunk man searching for something under a streetlight and asks what the drunk has lost. He says he lost his keys and they both look under the streetlight together. After a few minutes the policeman asks if he is sure he lost them here, and the drunk replies, no, and that he lost them in the park. The policeman asks why he is searching here, and the drunk replies, “this is where the light is”

While this is an amusing story it really drives home the point about looking in the right place and not where it’s easiest to look.

So when you’re out in your life looking for solutions to problems or challenges you have make sure that you’re more like Slick Willie, asking the right questions, and less like the drunk that lost his keys.

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Boomerang Thoughts

“You do not see the world as it is. You see it as you are.” — Anais Nin

What if every thought you have about another person is directed back at you?

Just like a well thrown boomerang, your launched thought is now circling right back at you.

If you believe that we’re all connected and originate from the same source then technically then this is true.

Every time you think a negative or positive thought about someone else then you’re thinking the same thing about yourself.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t or shouldn’t feel emotions when people behave a certain way because emotions are part of the human experience and add color to your life. What I’m talking about is more along the lines of conscious thinking.

When you’re going through your day and thinking about people what are you saying about them in your mind?

You know that moment when you conjure up a name in your mind and you say he or she is…that’s the instant.

That’s your opportunity right there.

What are you about to say about yourself?

Is it possible or even realistic to only have good thoughts about other people?

I can’t answer that for you.

But why not give it a try.

Ultimately you can consider it a selfish act, because those good thoughts are boomeranging back on you.

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You vs. You

“Whatever you believe, be open to being wrong.”— Peter Rollins

How often do you argue with yourself?

If it’s never then perhaps you should think about doing so.

And I don’t mean argue with yourself out loud because you might run the risk of being locked up.

What I’m talking about is getting in the habit of taking the opposing position on one of your beliefs, ideas or thoughts.

Taking the opposite side can give you glimpse into why others don’t agree with you or see the world the way you do. It can also help you validate ideas more effectively.

In business there is a concept of pre-mortem and this is very helpful when it comes to new ideas. The objective of the pre-mortem is to explore reasons why an idea might fail. The pre-mortem shines a light on challenges and hurdles so that action can be taken to address issues should they arise.

There is also a concept of red teaming. Red teaming is similar to a pre-mortem except in this case there is team of individuals tasked with taking an adversarial stance against an organization in order to expose vulnerabilities.

You can use either one of these tactics for your own beliefs and ideas.

Being open to being wrong is one of the keys to personal growth. The fact is that you will never have all the right answers and when you learn to accept this your mind will be open to new ideas and options.

So learn to argue against yourself. It will help you defend what you truly believe and enable you to quickly discard ideas that are holding you back.

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Between a Rock and a Soft Place

The mind that is anxious about future events is miserable.     Seneca

Which one of these are you going to choose to believe?

Everything you worry about comes true.

Or.

Nothing you worry about comes true.

The first one is the rock. It offers you anxiety, stress and tension.

The second one can be your soft place. It offers you comfort, relief and solace.

These might not look like options you have, but they are.

Your default state is probably the first choice because that’s where many are trained to live, but you can choose to retrain yourself.

Some might say that choice number two is too Pollyanna-ish for them. And this might be true, but worry itself has never been proven to actually solve any problems either.

Not worrying is not the same as not acting or not preparing, in fact it could be considered quite the opposite. If it helps you then write down the things you’re worried about, not so that you can focus on them but to get them out of your head.

Carrying around constant anxiety about things that might never occur will eventually become exhausting, and it will take a toll on you and those around you.

So it’s up to you to make a choice between the rock and the soft place.

Neither is right or wrong, but one of them will allow you to enjoy the moments in your life a little more.

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Cartography

“The map is not the territory.”― Alfred Korzybski

Do you know what cartography is?

It’s the science or practice of drawing maps.

Some of the earliest maps of the United States were drawn by the famous exploders Lewis and Clark. President Thomas Jefferson commissioned them in 1804 to map the newly acquired western half of the North American continent.

How useful do you think those maps would be today?

There might be a handful of landmarks such as rivers or perhaps a large mountain range that still exists, but for the most part the landscape would look totally different.

Maps have to continuously updated, especially in rapidly changing environments. Sometimes a map that is only a few years old can be outdated.

What about maps that seem to misrepresent?

The most popular world map used today is the Mercator map. The way this map is presented leads you to believe that the sizes of Europe and North America are larger than they are and “visually speaking, Canada and Russia appear to take up approximately 25% of the Earth’s landmass, when in reality they occupy a mere 5%.”

So, what if the map you’re using to guide your life is outdated or even worse misrepresents the truth?

What if you have just blindly adopted practices and patterns of thinking without updating them for the environment and time you’re living in?

Learn to question the maps you’ve been given and taught. Don’t fall for the ‘it’s always been this way.’ And remember, even when you have an up-to-date map that all it does it give you the layout of the land. It doesn’t show you all the impediments you might encounter on your own personal journey and it doesn’t teach you how to handle them. For that you’ll have to create your own map.

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First Words

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. Marcus Aurelius

What are the first words you say every morning?

Do you welcome the day with joy?

Do you express gratitude for being awake?

Do you tell someone you love them?

Or.

Do you mutter and grumble about having to wake up?

Or.

Do you not pay attention to the first words that you use to start your day?

Starting you day by expressing gratitude and love for yourself and others can set the tone for you entire day.

Your words are not a panacea and they don’t make challenges and problems disappear but they do serve as a reminder that just for that moment all is okay.

It takes less than a minute to set your day or the day of someone you love on a positive course so why not make the effort to do so?

If saying positive words out loud feels a little awkward at first then you can start by thinking them aloud in your head, or even just whispering them so only you can hear them.

The best part of starting your day with words of gratitude and love for yourself and others is that it sets your frame for how you see yourself and the person you’re thinking of.

Start your day tomorrow with beautiful positive words for yourself and others. Practice it for a week and see how you feel.

What have you got to lose?

If it doesn’t change anything for you, you can always go back to grumbling and muttering.

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Solve Problems

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. Albert Einstein

Look around you.

What do you see?

Everything you see is a solved problem.

Your clothes, devices, home, transportation and so much more are solutions to problems.

This might lead you think and to some extent falsely believe that all the big problems have been solved.

True, but also not true.

You, see. The problem was solved with the ideas and technology on hand at the time.

And some were solved a long time ago.

So now all you have is opportunities.

The million, if not billion dollar question that you should ask yourself is, if I had to solve this problem today, how would I do it?

Make it a game.

Identify a few items in your life that you use frequently and try to come up with ideas on improving or even rebuilding them.

Research new materials and manufacturing techniques and see what you can find.

Business and work is all about solving problems and many times businesses are created because an individual solved a problem for themselves and others said that they would pay for the same solution.

So get in the habit of looking at things not only in their current form, but also from a perspective of how was this made and how could this be better. Who knows what great ideas you’ll come up with?

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Power Within You

“All power is within you; you can do anything and everything.

Congratulations!

You’ve made it to the top of the food chain.

You’ve out evolved every other animal.

So how does it feel to be on top?

What are you going to do with all your power?

Are you going to use your power to do wonderful things for yourself and others?

Or, are you going to squander it by cowering at every opportunity and by playing small?

You have no idea just how much power you have inside you. And I don’t mean in the sense of raw brute strength. Although even when it comes to pure strength most people do underestimate their own physical limits.

You have the power to build, to create, to heal, to invent, and to live your life everyday tapping in to your unlimited reservoir of power, if you choose to.

Or, you can trudge through life as though you you’re powerless, which can also be true if you believe it to be. But you really have to put your head down, turn a blind eye and ignore all that’s been built and done around you by others that were just like you.

Ultimately the choice is yours. You can refuse to accept that you are indeed powerful or you can embrace your power and live with magnificence. Whatever you choose will be the truth.

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Live in Awe

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”― Albert Einstein

Are you ever amazed by what you can do?

Just think for a moment about all the things you’re capable of doing.

I’ll help you out a little just in case you’re struggling.

You can use your imagination to create an entirely new universe full of characters and scenes that have never existed, and you can do this all inside your head. Science hasn’t yet proven that animals are capable of doing the same.

With the right amount of resources you can travel to almost anywhere in the world. And if you choose to, you can get there by sitting in a metal tube that hurtles your body through time at over 500mph.

With the press of a button, you can use a device to speak to or even see another human being almost anywhere in the world.

Do you consider any of these to be amazing?

Or, do you take them for granted?

Young children make great mentors for learning to live in awe because they haven’t yet transitioned from the miraculous to becoming mundane.

I’m not suggesting that you spend your days walking around with your mouth open in awe at every experience, although that would make for an interesting sight.

I am suggesting that you pause on occasion to appreciate all the amazing things you can do, both inside your head and the world around you. And live a little in awe, your inner child will thank you for it.

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