Raj Daniels

Would you like to hear people say these things about you?

You’re caring.

You’re capable

You’re confident.

You’re kind.

You’re lovable.

You’re smart.

You’re thoughtful.

Do you think these things about yourself?

Scratch that.

Do you really believe these things about yourself?

How you see yourself will be amplified and then communicated within every interaction you have. Your view of yourself will show up in your actions, body language and the words you use when you’re speaking to people.

Focusing on behaving and building the character traits you want to be known for is much easier than convincing others and once you begin to act in alignment with how you feel about yourself, others will begin to see you that way too.

Your thoughts about yourself are your keys to how others perceive you and ultimately what they’ll say about you. And although your identity shouldn’t be dependent on what people say and think about you, navigating socially is easier when people view you in a positive light.

So begin to believe about yourself what you want others to believe about you, and you’ll find that over time people will indeed see you, how you think of yourself.

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Are you familiar with the questions, for what and for whom?

In business it’s a common way to describe what your product or service is used for and who will be your customer or user.

You can also use the same questions as a useful tool in your life outside of business.

When you look at your daily life activities you can ask yourself what you are doing them for and for whom.

It’s a good way to keep a check on why you do what you do.

In business, if you can’t continue to answer these questions then eventually you go out of business because you lose sight of the bigger picture.

In life if you don’t have an answer for these questions then you begin to feel out of control and perhaps even a little lost.

You can almost consider these questions to be a personal compass that you can use to guide you through life.  They can also provide you with some balance because if you find that everything is you do is only for you then you have the opportunity to course correct if you choose to.

Take some time for yourself to think through and answer these questions; because the more time you spend not knowing for what and for whom the less time you’ll have to get back on track.

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What is your self-care routine?

Do you have one, or are you just flying by the seat of your pants hoping that your body and mind will keep up with you?

Self-care doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of time or money on yourself. It means devoting intentional time in rest and recuperation.

It means taking a few minutes every day to invest in your body and mind.

It means putting yourself first.

Self-care is important because it reminds you that you are important too.  And the feeling that you are important increases your self-worth which in turn directly affects how you show up for others.

Self-care is not about de-prioritizing other responsibilities. It’s about adding yourself to your list of responsibilities.

Your self-care routine could be as simple as taking a daily walk, spending a few minutes reading, or even a short meditation session. Just something that says, ‘this is my time and I’m going to spend it on me because I’m important too.’

So get in the habit of carving out time for self-care. And if you feel any guilt in taking time for yourself, like some do, then try to convince yourself that you’re doing because it’ll make other people happier to be around you. So in essence you’re doing it for them, not you.

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What’s obvious to you?

When did it become obvious?

Is it obvious to everyone?

And, is it really obvious or only obvious to some?

Let’s look at simple example.

When did it become obvious to you that water is wet?

Follow my thinking here.

You didn’t realize that water was wet until someone told you it was. You knew that if you touched water you’d experience something, but you didn’t have a name for that experience or feeling until someone said something along the lines of if you do that you’ll get wet. And you probably didn’t question the person that told you water is wet because there was some form of authority or power in your relationship with them.

But how about now, are you still relying on what other people tell you should be obvious to you?

Obvious can be used as a limiting tool if you let it. It can be set as an imaginary line in the sand that says to you, of course you should know this so don’t question it because no one else does.

When find yourself saying or thinking something is obvious, question it for a moment, especially if you’ve never really encountered the situation before and are relying solely on the word of another. And refrain from telling others what should be obvious to them, because what’s obvious to you is the sum of your unique experiences, not theirs.

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What do you do when things don’t go as planned?

Do you panic?

Do you complain?

Do you give up?

Or do you buckle down and make a new plan?

Hardly ever do you ever hear of any endeavor whether personal or professional executed exactly as planned. In fact more often than not you’ll hear people say they had to course correct, improvise or in extreme situations throw out the plan and create a new one.

Probably the only time you’ll experience or hear of things going exactly as planned is on a production line where machines have been calibrated as tightly as possible and seldom involve human interaction.

Planning provides you with an estimation and rough roadmap that might help you achieve the things you are pursuing, but planning doesn’t guarantee anything.

Since things rarely go as planned doesn’t mean that planning is a waste of time. Planning allows you to think out loud. It allows you think through and account for all the possible known impediments and perhaps even imagine some unknowns.

The experience of things not going as planned is not unique to you. So when things don’t go as planned and you feel like giving up, don’t. In fact, give yourself a hug, say a few encouraging words and then put your pen to paper and create a new plan.

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Have you ever heard of Slick Willie Sutton?

If yes then good for you, but if you haven’t then no need to worry because I’m about to tell you who he was.

Slick Willie Sutton aka Willie Sutton was a bank robber and committed most of his crimes in the early 1900’s.

So what does a bank robber have to do with you?

Well, I’m glad you asked.

One day Slick Willie was asked by a reporter why he robbed banks, and rumor has it that he replied “because that’s where the money is.”

Read that last line again.

Makes sense right?

He went to the place where he would find what he was looking for because he had asked the right questions.

What are you looking for and are you asking the right questions and searching in the right places for the answers?

Or are you a practicing the Streetlight effect?

What is the Streetlight effect?

Here you go.

The Streetlight effect

A policeman sees a drunk man searching for something under a streetlight and asks what the drunk has lost. He says he lost his keys and they both look under the streetlight together. After a few minutes the policeman asks if he is sure he lost them here, and the drunk replies, no, and that he lost them in the park. The policeman asks why he is searching here, and the drunk replies, “this is where the light is”

While this is an amusing story it really drives home the point about looking in the right place and not where it’s easiest to look.

So when you’re out in your life looking for solutions to problems or challenges you have make sure that you’re more like Slick Willie, asking the right questions, and less like the drunk that lost his keys.

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What if every thought you have about another person is directed back at you?

Just like a well thrown boomerang, your launched thought is now circling right back at you.

If you believe that we’re all connected and originate from the same source then technically then this is true.

Every time you think a negative or positive thought about someone else then you’re thinking the same thing about yourself.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t or shouldn’t feel emotions when people behave a certain way because emotions are part of the human experience and add color to your life. What I’m talking about is more along the lines of conscious thinking.

When you’re going through your day and thinking about people what are you saying about them in your mind?

You know that moment when you conjure up a name in your mind and you say he or she is…that’s the instant.

That’s your opportunity right there.

What are you about to say about yourself?

Is it possible or even realistic to only have good thoughts about other people?

I can’t answer that for you.

But why not give it a try.

Ultimately you can consider it a selfish act, because those good thoughts are boomeranging back on you.

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How often do you argue with yourself?

If it’s never then perhaps you should think about doing so.

And I don’t mean argue with yourself out loud because you might run the risk of being locked up.

What I’m talking about is getting in the habit of taking the opposing position on one of your beliefs, ideas or thoughts.

Taking the opposite side can give you glimpse into why others don’t agree with you or see the world the way you do. It can also help you validate ideas more effectively.

In business there is a concept of pre-mortem and this is very helpful when it comes to new ideas. The objective of the pre-mortem is to explore reasons why an idea might fail. The pre-mortem shines a light on challenges and hurdles so that action can be taken to address issues should they arise.

There is also a concept of red teaming. Red teaming is similar to a pre-mortem except in this case there is team of individuals tasked with taking an adversarial stance against an organization in order to expose vulnerabilities.

You can use either one of these tactics for your own beliefs and ideas.

Being open to being wrong is one of the keys to personal growth. The fact is that you will never have all the right answers and when you learn to accept this your mind will be open to new ideas and options.

So learn to argue against yourself. It will help you defend what you truly believe and enable you to quickly discard ideas that are holding you back.

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Which one of these are you going to choose to believe?

Everything you worry about comes true.

Or.

Nothing you worry about comes true.

The first one is the rock. It offers you anxiety, stress and tension.

The second one can be your soft place. It offers you comfort, relief and solace.

These might not look like options you have, but they are.

Your default state is probably the first choice because that’s where many are trained to live, but you can choose to retrain yourself.

Some might say that choice number two is too Pollyanna-ish for them. And this might be true, but worry itself has never been proven to actually solve any problems either.

Not worrying is not the same as not acting or not preparing, in fact it could be considered quite the opposite. If it helps you then write down the things you’re worried about, not so that you can focus on them but to get them out of your head.

Carrying around constant anxiety about things that might never occur will eventually become exhausting, and it will take a toll on you and those around you.

So it’s up to you to make a choice between the rock and the soft place.

Neither is right or wrong, but one of them will allow you to enjoy the moments in your life a little more.

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Do you know what cartography is?

It’s the science or practice of drawing maps.

Some of the earliest maps of the United States were drawn by the famous exploders Lewis and Clark. President Thomas Jefferson commissioned them in 1804 to map the newly acquired western half of the North American continent.

How useful do you think those maps would be today?

There might be a handful of landmarks such as rivers or perhaps a large mountain range that still exists, but for the most part the landscape would look totally different.

Maps have to continuously updated, especially in rapidly changing environments. Sometimes a map that is only a few years old can be outdated.

What about maps that seem to misrepresent?

The most popular world map used today is the Mercator map. The way this map is presented leads you to believe that the sizes of Europe and North America are larger than they are and “visually speaking, Canada and Russia appear to take up approximately 25% of the Earth’s landmass, when in reality they occupy a mere 5%.”

So, what if the map you’re using to guide your life is outdated or even worse misrepresents the truth?

What if you have just blindly adopted practices and patterns of thinking without updating them for the environment and time you’re living in?

Learn to question the maps you’ve been given and taught. Don’t fall for the ‘it’s always been this way.’ And remember, even when you have an up-to-date map that all it does it give you the layout of the land. It doesn’t show you all the impediments you might encounter on your own personal journey and it doesn’t teach you how to handle them. For that you’ll have to create your own map.

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What are the first words you say every morning?

Do you welcome the day with joy?

Do you express gratitude for being awake?

Do you tell someone you love them?

Or.

Do you mutter and grumble about having to wake up?

Or.

Do you not pay attention to the first words that you use to start your day?

Starting you day by expressing gratitude and love for yourself and others can set the tone for you entire day.

Your words are not a panacea and they don’t make challenges and problems disappear but they do serve as a reminder that just for that moment all is okay.

It takes less than a minute to set your day or the day of someone you love on a positive course so why not make the effort to do so?

If saying positive words out loud feels a little awkward at first then you can start by thinking them aloud in your head, or even just whispering them so only you can hear them.

The best part of starting your day with words of gratitude and love for yourself and others is that it sets your frame for how you see yourself and the person you’re thinking of.

Start your day tomorrow with beautiful positive words for yourself and others. Practice it for a week and see how you feel.

What have you got to lose?

If it doesn’t change anything for you, you can always go back to grumbling and muttering.

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Look around you.

What do you see?

Everything you see is a solved problem.

Your clothes, devices, home, transportation and so much more are solutions to problems.

This might lead you think and to some extent falsely believe that all the big problems have been solved.

True, but also not true.

You, see. The problem was solved with the ideas and technology on hand at the time.

And some were solved a long time ago.

So now all you have is opportunities.

The million, if not billion dollar question that you should ask yourself is, if I had to solve this problem today, how would I do it?

Make it a game.

Identify a few items in your life that you use frequently and try to come up with ideas on improving or even rebuilding them.

Research new materials and manufacturing techniques and see what you can find.

Business and work is all about solving problems and many times businesses are created because an individual solved a problem for themselves and others said that they would pay for the same solution.

So get in the habit of looking at things not only in their current form, but also from a perspective of how was this made and how could this be better. Who knows what great ideas you’ll come up with?

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Congratulations!

You’ve made it to the top of the food chain.

You’ve out evolved every other animal.

So how does it feel to be on top?

What are you going to do with all your power?

Are you going to use your power to do wonderful things for yourself and others?

Or, are you going to squander it by cowering at every opportunity and by playing small?

You have no idea just how much power you have inside you. And I don’t mean in the sense of raw brute strength. Although even when it comes to pure strength most people do underestimate their own physical limits.

You have the power to build, to create, to heal, to invent, and to live your life everyday tapping in to your unlimited reservoir of power, if you choose to.

Or, you can trudge through life as though you you’re powerless, which can also be true if you believe it to be. But you really have to put your head down, turn a blind eye and ignore all that’s been built and done around you by others that were just like you.

Ultimately the choice is yours. You can refuse to accept that you are indeed powerful or you can embrace your power and live with magnificence. Whatever you choose will be the truth.

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Are you ever amazed by what you can do?

Just think for a moment about all the things you’re capable of doing.

I’ll help you out a little just in case you’re struggling.

You can use your imagination to create an entirely new universe full of characters and scenes that have never existed, and you can do this all inside your head. Science hasn’t yet proven that animals are capable of doing the same.

With the right amount of resources you can travel to almost anywhere in the world. And if you choose to, you can get there by sitting in a metal tube that hurtles your body through time at over 500mph.

With the press of a button, you can use a device to speak to or even see another human being almost anywhere in the world.

Do you consider any of these to be amazing?

Or, do you take them for granted?

Young children make great mentors for learning to live in awe because they haven’t yet transitioned from the miraculous to becoming mundane.

I’m not suggesting that you spend your days walking around with your mouth open in awe at every experience, although that would make for an interesting sight.

I am suggesting that you pause on occasion to appreciate all the amazing things you can do, both inside your head and the world around you. And live a little in awe, your inner child will thank you for it.

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When was the last time you just sat still?

No books, computers, phones, TV or anyone else around you. Just you sitting still, alone with your own thoughts, allowing your mind to digest, format and process all that is around you.

Skipping from one input source or task to another doesn’t give your brain time to absorb all the information it’s exposed to and even more important, it doesn’t get any rest.

And it doesn’t allow you to really think.

Thinking is probably one of the most important gifts that humans have and yet, so often it is underutilized.

Decisions are made on the fly, in between events and tasks because there’s always the next thing to move on to.

But it doesn’t always have to be like that.

You can bake in your own time to just sit.

It doesn’t have to be hours of sitting. Just a few minutes between activities, enough to provide a brief reset so you can move to the next input feeling a little refreshed.

Give yourself the permission and the pleasure of learning to sit still.

Your mind will be grateful to you for taking it of the constant activity treadmill for a few moments of rest.

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Do you have your auto translate on?

You know the one that takes words that people say to you and then gives them your own meaning?

Your auto translate is the one that says to you, hmmm, what did they mean by that?

You’ve probably been caught on the other end of someone else’s auto translate because you’ll find yourself saying something like, that’s not what I meant, or that’s not how I meant it.

You see, what you hear is not always what’s being said.

In fact many times you’ve attributed meaning to a situation even before you’ve heard all the words.

This can be very problematic, especially if you have a tendency to be of a defensive nature.

Your habit of giving meaning to words is deeply ingrained because you probably learned to do so at a very young age.

The environment you grew up in taught you a lot about words, but all that you learned was not necessarily true. And what you learned is now very hard to unlearn.

But you can try on occasion to put your auto translate on pause.

Let the words come at you and just hear them for what they are, just sounds bouncing of your ear drums that you give meaning to.

Don’t forget, the next time you catch yourself saying, that’s not how I meant it, you’ll wish the person you’re speaking to would do the same for your words too.

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How do you entertain an unwanted thought?

Do you welcome it?

Do you allow it to make itself at home?

Some thoughts are like unwelcome guests.

They’re rowdy, make a mess and show no appreciation for your hospitality.

In fact all they do is cause you to feel grief and discomfort.

And yet you allow them back in.

But you don’t have to.

Just like the unwanted guests, you can choose not to allow disempowering thoughts back in to your mind.

Or at least learn to evict them when they do show up.

If you had unwanted guests the last thing you would want to do is feed them and make them comfortable because it would only encourage them to stay longer.

The same applies for the unwanted thought.

You can get in the habit of ejecting an unwanted thought by replacing with different thought. You see, even though your mind is a super powerful tool, it can only hold one thought at a time.

Now you have a choice which thought you want keep.

With some practice you can learn to replace negative thoughts with positive ones if you choose to.

Or like the unwanted guests. You can leave your mind open to any thought that wants to enter and wreak havoc at will.

The thought you let in might not be up to you, but you can decide how long you want it to stay.

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When was the last time you were childish?

Why is the phrase ‘you’re being childish’ a bad thing?

What’s wrong with being childish?

Being childish is beautiful.

It’s untainted.

It’s looking at the world with awe.

It’s fresh and uncalcified.

It’s innocent.

It’s curious.

It’s full of endless possibilities.

Somewhere inside you there’s a childish part of you waiting for the opportunity to express itself.

It’s just waiting to have its Peter Pan moment.

Getting older doesn’t mean you have rid yourself of your childish qualities. Even though your responsibilities change you can still have awe and wonder. You can still believe in endless possibilities.

Let your inner child come to life again.

Not the version that was told by adults how it should be and behave, but the one that was the purest and truest version of you.

It was the original you.

Remove some of the masks you’ve had to layer on with time and find that original childish version of you again.

Just because you’re getting older doesn’t mean you have to act and be old all the time.

And one last thing.

Tag you’re it 🙂

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What if everyone you meet has your best interest in mind?

How would that make you feel?

Could you believe it?

Can you go through life assuming positive intent?

Assuming positive intent doesn’t mean that you go through life with blinders on, oblivious to people’s motivations. It does mean that you decide to take the position that most people you meet aren’t against you or out to get you.

In fact the majority of people you interact with are probably so caught up in their own lives that they have very little time or energy to think about you. At most they are neutral about you.

Yes, there are always exceptions to the rule and you will on occasion come across someone that for whatever reason doesn’t wish you well, but that has nothing to do with you, that’s their problem and a battle they are fighting.

Try an experiment today.

With every interaction you have today assume the person is behaving in your favor. Whatever they say or do is for your benefit.

Just be open to it and see how it makes you feel.

And take this opportunity to do the same.

Have positive intent for everyone you meet or speak to today.

If you don’t feel different by the end of the day, then tomorrow you can always go back to thinking people are against you and don’t have your best interest in mind.

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