Raj Daniels

What is the realm of your reality?

Do you know that human eyes are only capable of seeing a very small spectrum of light and that there is a whole range of the electromagnetic spectrum invisible to us?

Do you know that the same applies to human hearing and sound?

Just because you can’t hear or see something doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist, it doesn’t mean it’s not real.

So much of your reality and what you experience is not just limited to your physical limitations but is also tied to your belief system.

Now you may not be capable of changing your physical characteristic but you can change your beliefs.

You can learn to expand and shape your realm of reality.

Reality really is malleable, and some people know this more than others. And these people are the ones known as pioneers, visionaries and luminaires.

If you feel constrained or limited by your current reality then explore a new one.

You don’t have to adopt all that you find, but don’t forget, you didn’t consciously embrace the one you have right now. It was passed on or taught to you by the environment you were born in to.

Step out, hear and see what you’ve never experienced before and consider creating your own version of reality, one that lives only in your field of vision.

If you’ve ever been to a bar or club then you’re probably familiar with the term cover charge.

Essentially the cover charge is an amount of money you pay for the privilege of entering the establishment.

However, have you ever considered the numerous cover charges you pay in life?

Consider the following cover charges.

The amount you pay for the neighborhood you want to live in.

The amount you spend on clothes and other accessories so that you look like you belong.

The amount you spend entertaining or being entertained.

The amount you spend getting educated.

These are just some of the more obvious cover charges that you pay through life.

The cover charge can be both time and money, however ultimately you’re always paying with your time.

I’m not suggesting that you don’t pay the cover charge, especially if it’s adding value to your life.

What I am suggesting is that just be aware of the cover charge. And if you’re not enjoying the club, then stop paying to be there.

What does the secret version of you look like?

How does it dress?

If it owns a car, what kind of car would it be?

Where would it live?

What kind of work (not job) would it be doing?

There’s a version of you inside your head that’s screaming to come to life. It’s banging on the walls of your brain at every opportunity it gets, and yet you keep silencing it.

You silence it because you don’t believe it can exist or you’re afraid what will happen if you set it free.

The secret version of you is who you were born to be.

It’s your soul’s wanting to express itself.

If you’ve been the kind of person that’s kept the secret version of yourself bottled up for a long time then you’re going to have to release it slowly in to the world.  Because if you make too many drastic changes at once you’ll turn your your current environment in to chaos.

Do it slowly, gracefully, one small act a time.

Write down the answers to the questions I’ve listed and feel free to add any more that you think will help you. And then slowly start shedding this current version of you.

Let there be no more secret version of you, let there only be you.

When was the last time you were put in time out?

When was the last time you were told to stand in a corner for not behaving?

When was the last time you had your toys taken away because you misbehaved?

Are the lingering memories of the punishment you received as a child still dictating how you behave as an adult?

The tools that were used to control and discipline you as a child can have a lifelong impact on you, if you let them. Just the fear of punishment can prevent you from fully expressing yourself.

Keep in mind that many of the disciplinary actions taken towards you, were in order to make life more convenient for those around you. Some of it might have been for your benefit, to protect you or teach you civilities, but there was also a strong element of control.

There will always be consequences to your actions but allowing how you were controlled in the past to cast a shadow over your future is no way to live. And don’t forget, sometimes being put in time out was a great trade-off for the fun you had misbehaving.

Smile.

Did you do it?

I hope you did because it’s a great way to start your day. And it’s not just me telling you that smiling is good for you.  Researchers have found that smiling can improve your mood, even if it’s a fake smile.

Smiling triggers chemicals in your brain to go work and give you an overall sensation of feeling good.

They also found that smiling can make you look younger and even more attractive.

Now that’s not bad for just turning up the corners of your mouth.

Okay.

So you’ve smiled by yourself and made yourself feel good, but now you can do it for other people too.

Smile at people while you’re out and about today.

You’ll make them feel good too because a smile is almost always greeted with a smile back.  And yes, like anything else, there’s always a case when it doesn’t work, but let’s not focus on that.

Think of your smile as one of your superpowers. Use it generously on yourself and for the benefit of others too.

When was the last time you played hide and seek?

How about we play it now?

This version is a little different.

It’s only between me and you, so make sure you’re alone.

Ready?

Ok.

I want you to close your eyes and count to 30.

Now I’m going to trust that you will close your eyes for 30 seconds.

When you open your eyes I want you to do something.

I want you to be the most honest, real, raw version of yourself.

I want you to remove every layer of political correctness.

I want you to remove every ounce of concern and fear.

And now, say out loud anything and everything you’re feeling in the moment.

It doesn’t matter what you say as long as you express every emotion you’re having.

You can also cry, laugh, yell, or whatever you choose to do.

Just take this brief opportunity to be 100% you.

How did it feel?

You see, so much of your day is spent with you being constrained.

Holding back how you really feel just so that you can navigate and protect your personal and professional relationships.

Think of this exercise as seeking and releasing your hiding self.

Use it as a mental shower.

A quick refreshing moment in your day that allows you to be truly you before you step in to all the other roles you have to play.

How do you deal with disappointment?

Do you try to ignore the feeling?

Or are you able to process it in a healthy way?

Everyone experiences disappointment, so you’re definitely not alone.

At its root, the cause of disappointment is misalignment between what you want and what you have. And this gap can be any area of your life.

It also stems from the belief that you can only be happy when things go the way you want them to.

Disappointment can be used as an opportunity for self-reflection, for improvement and perhaps even a realization.

Disappointment can also teach you to recognize that almost every situation is temporary although at the time it might not feel that way.

Learn that being disappointed is okay; it’s just part of being human and as long as you don’t continuously focus on it and wallow in the feeling, it’ll pass as quickly as you let it.

When was the last time you made a list of everything you own?

If you’re like most people then you’ve probably never taken a full inventory of all your possessions.

Yes, you might be are aware of the large items like cars, furniture etc. but rarely do you have real grasp of everything.

Recently a close friend of mine had the unfortunate experience of having a fire in her house. Although the fire didn’t destroy everything, the smoke and water damage pretty much wiped out all that she owned.

During a recent conversation she mentioned a realization about how much of her stuff she really doesn’t need. And, going forward how she feels as though she will be able to live with even less than she had before.

Another insight she had was about the people in her life.

All the people that have stepped up and offered her clothes, furniture and a temporary place to live, but most of all their willingness to be there for her.

Her community is strong because of the kind of person she has been. And although she’s in a position right now where due to insurance procedures she has to take inventory of all her possessions, she knows that her greatest inventory is the people that surround her and are willing to support her.

Taking inventory of all that you own can be very emotional and yet practical exercise because, it’ll give you a sense of how fortunate you are and could also serve you should the need ever arise.

So can taking inventory of your relationships.

You can nurture the ones that are flourishing, forgive the ones that have floundered, and look for opportunities to create new ones.

Because in the end, your inventory off what you have will never be as important as whom you have.

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Wait, don’t move.

You’ll only hear them when you move.

They’re just waiting to pounce.

Just waiting for you to take that first step.

Mostly they hunt alone, but sometimes the whole pack shows up.

You know who I’m talking about.

The critic.

Their job is to scare you before you even attempt to try.

They’ll have you wondering what they think, before you’ve even done anything.

They’ll make you freeze in your tracks.

And, they even have a friend on the inside.

Yes, they planted a mole a long time ago.

A pal, a buddy that will do the dirty work for them, just in case they don’t get to you fast enough.

And their friend, their buddy,

The one in your head.

The one they often rely on to do the job for them.

Your inner critic.

This tag team of external and internal critics will have you questioning your every dream and idea, if you let them.

Or you can learn to ignore them.

And if you ignore them long enough they might quiet down for a bit, but they’ll never go away.

So, if you want to live out any of your dreams, you need to learn to act, perform and proceed in the face of the critics and not try to avoid them, because that will be impossible.

What’s your favorite music?

How does it move you?

What do the words say?

Does the music you like inspire and motivate you?

Listening to music can be a beautiful experience, but music also has the power to influence your thoughts.

Music is like a subliminal drug; it can penetrate your brain and dance with your subconscious.

In fact, let me share with you an ancient Persian tale I once heard about how music came to be.

The day after making man God created the soul. And god asked the soul to enter the man’s body. But , just as the soul was about to move in to the man’s body it turned back.

God asked the soul “what happened, why did you turn back?”

The soul said, “It’s dark in there and I’m scared.”

This got god thinking.

And then god had an idea.

He created music and put it inside man.

Once he did this the soul was no longer afraid and happily went in to the man.

Now obviously this is just a tale, but if you do listen to music you know how it is capable of affecting your mood.

This is also the reason, because of its power; music has been used as propaganda for years.

So pay attention to the music you listen to.

Choose it not just to entertain you, but also to empower you, to influence you on your terms.

What would you do if you had more time?

Where would you be if you had more time?

How would your life look if you had more time?

You might not agree with me but…

I’ll venture to guess your life would look the same.

Now before you get upset with me, just hear me out.

Rarely is more time the solution.

In fact just having more hours only gives you more time to do exactly what you’re doing right now. There’s a name for this phenomenon and it’s called Parkinson’s Law. Essentially what it says is, “work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion”.

So, more time is not the answer.

The answer is getting more out of the time you have.

There’s an attention grabber behind every corner and keystroke just waiting to rob you of your time, ready to cajole you into thinking what they have to say is more important than your time.

These time thieves will do all they can to lure you away from your time.

Stop taking the bait.

The best way to stop is to prioritize and then protect your time.

Prioritize so that you can allot the time needed to work on what is important to you. And then protect that time. Don’t let outside influences cannibalize your time.

Nobody has ever had more time. They’ve just been able to do more with their time. And if you’re diligent about your time you’ll realize that you can do more with your time too.

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What happens after you’re a success?

After you’ve climbed the highest mountain?

After you’ve won the championship?

After you’ve made the billion dollars?

After you received all the accolades?

What do you do next?

It’s not uncommon to hear ‘successful’ people speak about being depressed or unfulfilled even though they’ve reached certain goals in their life.

They thought reaching the goal would fill a void, or perhaps make them more complete.

But it didn’t.

So while you’re out pursuing your goals, realize that you shouldn’t use your goal to fill a hole in yourself. Because, if that’s your view then essentially what you’re saying is that without the external goal, you are incomplete. And that’s where the feelings of being unfulfilled come from.

Realize that you are already complete, and learn to pursue your goals for the sheer pleasure of the pursuit.

What’s your backstory?

What are your unique adventures and experiences that have made you, you?

What are the parts of your backstory that you’re proud of?

What are parts that you’re quick to hide?

Your backstory doesn’t have to hold you back, unless you let it.

Just like you, everyone you meet has their own unique backstory. They have their own moments they’re proud of and their own set of challenges.

Keep in mind that no one really knows your backstory, no one can see it but you, so don’t use it like a shield to hide behind.

Use your backstory to your advantage. Leverage all of your unique experiences.

Your backstory will always be a part of you, but doesn’t have to define who you’re going to be.

Did you see what he was wearing?

What was he thinking?

Why doesn’t she say hello?

Does she think she’s too good for me?

Why is he always happy?

He must have it so easy.

You are judging people all day long because it’s your nature.

Humans are constantly filtering for, is this person in the tribe or not.

You’re always thinking, asking if you can trust them or not.

And the judgment happens within a blink of an eye. The moment you see a person or hear them speak your brain goes on autopilot and starts judging.

This auto judging doesn’t give you the opportunity to get to know a person since you’ve already made decisions about them.

Not auto judging is hard because it takes time and effort.

It takes self-awareness.

Allow yourself to occasionally practice not judging, not jumping to conclusions about a person based on a moment’s interaction. You might be pleasantly surprised to find that your initial judgment about them was totally wrong, and they might even feel the same about you too.

Who’s going to be the lucky person in your day today?

The one person you’ll help today.

The one person you’ll be present for today.

The one person you’ll send good thoughts to today.

The one person you’ll forgive today.

The one person you’ll love without restraint or expectations.

The one person whose life might change because of their interaction with you today.

As you start your day today set an intention of improving just one person’s life and you’ll be surprised by the opportunities that will present themselves to you, that will allow you to make someone feel special.

Just imagine the difference we could make in the world if we all set our daily intention to improve the life of just one person.

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How does it feel to be out of your mind?

You know, that moment when you have an idea or thought that doesn’t’ fit within someone else’s thinking and they say ‘you’re out of your mind.’

Does it catch you off guard?

Do you question your sanity?

Or do give your idea the oxygen it needs and protect it from being smothered by the doubt of others?

If you’re a dreamer, idea generator and experimenter you will often hear some form of you’re out of your mind. And the truth is that at times you might be.

However, the secret is that you need to be out of your mind to see and create the new.

You can choose to always stay within the safe boundaries of your mind and have a perfectly wonderful life.

But you can also choose to occasionally stray beyond the confines of your mind just to see what you’re capable of thinking of, and you’ll know when you’re there because someone will be sure to tell you that you’re out of your mind.

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Have you heard of Mickey Mouse?

Chances are that if you’ve lived almost anywhere in the world during the past 50 years that you’re familiar with Mickey or have at least heard about Disney.

I’m a huge fan of Disney, to the point that I even wear a Mickey Mouse watch.

I wear it because it’s a constant reminder of what one man created with just a pencil and paper, the simplest of tools.

In today’s time of endless productivity tools and technology people often get caught up in either what tool to use or what they need in order to pursue their dreams.

I implore you not to get caught in this trap.

In fact I challenge you to start wherever you are.

If you’re reading this on your phone then use the notes app. If you’re at a desk then grab the first writing instrument and any, I repeat any piece of paper you can write on and start dreaming.

Just let your mind and hand work together without applying  judgement or any thinking that will slow them down.

Almost everything you see around you that is not created by nature probably came to life when the idea was first expressed on paper.

This exercise is not for you to create the next Disney. It is for you to allow yourself to imagine and then write out what it would look like to create your own wonderland.

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What are you taking for granted in your day today?

Some of the most simple creature comforts in your everyday life didn’t exist a hundred years ago even for the wealthiest of people.

Central air and heat

Computers and the internet

Indoor plumbing

Modern mattresses

Refrigeration

Running water

Stoves that work with a press of a button

Unlimited electricity

Individuals spent countless hours building and developing these things and now you can experience all of these modern day miracles before you even leave your home.

You also have

Community

Family and friends

Health

And then you have life itself.

Your ability to take long deep breaths of abundant clean air that gets processed by your body without you ever having to think about.

Even if you only think about all the beauty and miracles you experience within the first hour of your day you might be surprised at how much you’ve been taking for granted.

Stop for a moment today, and think about all that you take for granted. It might just remind you how fortunate you really are.

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What is on your to do list today?

Is it full of important tasks that will move to you towards your goals?

Let me be so bold as to add a few small tasks to your list.

Smile.

Stretch for one minute.

Drink water.

Tell someone you love and appreciate them.

Say hi to a stranger.

Let someone else go first.

Stand outdoors for one minute.

Sit still for one minute.

Take 6 deep breaths.

Be grateful for all that you have.

As you go through your day working on your big tasks, think of these small activities as the mortar used to fill the gaps between bricks.

The items that I’ve taken the liberty of adding to your list might not improve your health, or  get you that promotion, or even lead you to financial prosperity, but they will improve your journey towards your all of your goals.