Raj Daniels

Smile.

Did you do it?

I hope you did because it’s a great way to start your day. And it’s not just me telling you that smiling is good for you.  Researchers have found that smiling can improve your mood, even if it’s a fake smile.

Smiling triggers chemicals in your brain to go work and give you an overall sensation of feeling good.

They also found that smiling can make you look younger and even more attractive.

Now that’s not bad for just turning up the corners of your mouth.

Okay.

So you’ve smiled by yourself and made yourself feel good, but now you can do it for other people too.

Smile at people while you’re out and about today.

You’ll make them feel good too because a smile is almost always greeted with a smile back.  And yes, like anything else, there’s always a case when it doesn’t work, but let’s not focus on that.

Think of your smile as one of your superpowers. Use it generously on yourself and for the benefit of others too.

When was the last time you played hide and seek?

How about we play it now?

This version is a little different.

It’s only between me and you, so make sure you’re alone.

Ready?

Ok.

I want you to close your eyes and count to 30.

Now I’m going to trust that you will close your eyes for 30 seconds.

When you open your eyes I want you to do something.

I want you to be the most honest, real, raw version of yourself.

I want you to remove every layer of political correctness.

I want you to remove every ounce of concern and fear.

And now, say out loud anything and everything you’re feeling in the moment.

It doesn’t matter what you say as long as you express every emotion you’re having.

You can also cry, laugh, yell, or whatever you choose to do.

Just take this brief opportunity to be 100% you.

How did it feel?

You see, so much of your day is spent with you being constrained.

Holding back how you really feel just so that you can navigate and protect your personal and professional relationships.

Think of this exercise as seeking and releasing your hiding self.

Use it as a mental shower.

A quick refreshing moment in your day that allows you to be truly you before you step in to all the other roles you have to play.

How do you deal with disappointment?

Do you try to ignore the feeling?

Or are you able to process it in a healthy way?

Everyone experiences disappointment, so you’re definitely not alone.

At its root, the cause of disappointment is misalignment between what you want and what you have. And this gap can be any area of your life.

It also stems from the belief that you can only be happy when things go the way you want them to.

Disappointment can be used as an opportunity for self-reflection, for improvement and perhaps even a realization.

Disappointment can also teach you to recognize that almost every situation is temporary although at the time it might not feel that way.

Learn that being disappointed is okay; it’s just part of being human and as long as you don’t continuously focus on it and wallow in the feeling, it’ll pass as quickly as you let it.

When was the last time you made a list of everything you own?

If you’re like most people then you’ve probably never taken a full inventory of all your possessions.

Yes, you might be are aware of the large items like cars, furniture etc. but rarely do you have real grasp of everything.

Recently a close friend of mine had the unfortunate experience of having a fire in her house. Although the fire didn’t destroy everything, the smoke and water damage pretty much wiped out all that she owned.

During a recent conversation she mentioned a realization about how much of her stuff she really doesn’t need. And, going forward how she feels as though she will be able to live with even less than she had before.

Another insight she had was about the people in her life.

All the people that have stepped up and offered her clothes, furniture and a temporary place to live, but most of all their willingness to be there for her.

Her community is strong because of the kind of person she has been. And although she’s in a position right now where due to insurance procedures she has to take inventory of all her possessions, she knows that her greatest inventory is the people that surround her and are willing to support her.

Taking inventory of all that you own can be very emotional and yet practical exercise because, it’ll give you a sense of how fortunate you are and could also serve you should the need ever arise.

So can taking inventory of your relationships.

You can nurture the ones that are flourishing, forgive the ones that have floundered, and look for opportunities to create new ones.

Because in the end, your inventory off what you have will never be as important as whom you have.

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Wait, don’t move.

You’ll only hear them when you move.

They’re just waiting to pounce.

Just waiting for you to take that first step.

Mostly they hunt alone, but sometimes the whole pack shows up.

You know who I’m talking about.

The critic.

Their job is to scare you before you even attempt to try.

They’ll have you wondering what they think, before you’ve even done anything.

They’ll make you freeze in your tracks.

And, they even have a friend on the inside.

Yes, they planted a mole a long time ago.

A pal, a buddy that will do the dirty work for them, just in case they don’t get to you fast enough.

And their friend, their buddy,

The one in your head.

The one they often rely on to do the job for them.

Your inner critic.

This tag team of external and internal critics will have you questioning your every dream and idea, if you let them.

Or you can learn to ignore them.

And if you ignore them long enough they might quiet down for a bit, but they’ll never go away.

So, if you want to live out any of your dreams, you need to learn to act, perform and proceed in the face of the critics and not try to avoid them, because that will be impossible.

What’s your favorite music?

How does it move you?

What do the words say?

Does the music you like inspire and motivate you?

Listening to music can be a beautiful experience, but music also has the power to influence your thoughts.

Music is like a subliminal drug; it can penetrate your brain and dance with your subconscious.

In fact, let me share with you an ancient Persian tale I once heard about how music came to be.

The day after making man God created the soul. And god asked the soul to enter the man’s body. But , just as the soul was about to move in to the man’s body it turned back.

God asked the soul “what happened, why did you turn back?”

The soul said, “It’s dark in there and I’m scared.”

This got god thinking.

And then god had an idea.

He created music and put it inside man.

Once he did this the soul was no longer afraid and happily went in to the man.

Now obviously this is just a tale, but if you do listen to music you know how it is capable of affecting your mood.

This is also the reason, because of its power; music has been used as propaganda for years.

So pay attention to the music you listen to.

Choose it not just to entertain you, but also to empower you, to influence you on your terms.

What would you do if you had more time?

Where would you be if you had more time?

How would your life look if you had more time?

You might not agree with me but…

I’ll venture to guess your life would look the same.

Now before you get upset with me, just hear me out.

Rarely is more time the solution.

In fact just having more hours only gives you more time to do exactly what you’re doing right now. There’s a name for this phenomenon and it’s called Parkinson’s Law. Essentially what it says is, “work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion”.

So, more time is not the answer.

The answer is getting more out of the time you have.

There’s an attention grabber behind every corner and keystroke just waiting to rob you of your time, ready to cajole you into thinking what they have to say is more important than your time.

These time thieves will do all they can to lure you away from your time.

Stop taking the bait.

The best way to stop is to prioritize and then protect your time.

Prioritize so that you can allot the time needed to work on what is important to you. And then protect that time. Don’t let outside influences cannibalize your time.

Nobody has ever had more time. They’ve just been able to do more with their time. And if you’re diligent about your time you’ll realize that you can do more with your time too.

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What happens after you’re a success?

After you’ve climbed the highest mountain?

After you’ve won the championship?

After you’ve made the billion dollars?

After you received all the accolades?

What do you do next?

It’s not uncommon to hear ‘successful’ people speak about being depressed or unfulfilled even though they’ve reached certain goals in their life.

They thought reaching the goal would fill a void, or perhaps make them more complete.

But it didn’t.

So while you’re out pursuing your goals, realize that you shouldn’t use your goal to fill a hole in yourself. Because, if that’s your view then essentially what you’re saying is that without the external goal, you are incomplete. And that’s where the feelings of being unfulfilled come from.

Realize that you are already complete, and learn to pursue your goals for the sheer pleasure of the pursuit.

What’s your backstory?

What are your unique adventures and experiences that have made you, you?

What are the parts of your backstory that you’re proud of?

What are parts that you’re quick to hide?

Your backstory doesn’t have to hold you back, unless you let it.

Just like you, everyone you meet has their own unique backstory. They have their own moments they’re proud of and their own set of challenges.

Keep in mind that no one really knows your backstory, no one can see it but you, so don’t use it like a shield to hide behind.

Use your backstory to your advantage. Leverage all of your unique experiences.

Your backstory will always be a part of you, but doesn’t have to define who you’re going to be.

Did you see what he was wearing?

What was he thinking?

Why doesn’t she say hello?

Does she think she’s too good for me?

Why is he always happy?

He must have it so easy.

You are judging people all day long because it’s your nature.

Humans are constantly filtering for, is this person in the tribe or not.

You’re always thinking, asking if you can trust them or not.

And the judgment happens within a blink of an eye. The moment you see a person or hear them speak your brain goes on autopilot and starts judging.

This auto judging doesn’t give you the opportunity to get to know a person since you’ve already made decisions about them.

Not auto judging is hard because it takes time and effort.

It takes self-awareness.

Allow yourself to occasionally practice not judging, not jumping to conclusions about a person based on a moment’s interaction. You might be pleasantly surprised to find that your initial judgment about them was totally wrong, and they might even feel the same about you too.

Who’s going to be the lucky person in your day today?

The one person you’ll help today.

The one person you’ll be present for today.

The one person you’ll send good thoughts to today.

The one person you’ll forgive today.

The one person you’ll love without restraint or expectations.

The one person whose life might change because of their interaction with you today.

As you start your day today set an intention of improving just one person’s life and you’ll be surprised by the opportunities that will present themselves to you, that will allow you to make someone feel special.

Just imagine the difference we could make in the world if we all set our daily intention to improve the life of just one person.

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How does it feel to be out of your mind?

You know, that moment when you have an idea or thought that doesn’t’ fit within someone else’s thinking and they say ‘you’re out of your mind.’

Does it catch you off guard?

Do you question your sanity?

Or do give your idea the oxygen it needs and protect it from being smothered by the doubt of others?

If you’re a dreamer, idea generator and experimenter you will often hear some form of you’re out of your mind. And the truth is that at times you might be.

However, the secret is that you need to be out of your mind to see and create the new.

You can choose to always stay within the safe boundaries of your mind and have a perfectly wonderful life.

But you can also choose to occasionally stray beyond the confines of your mind just to see what you’re capable of thinking of, and you’ll know when you’re there because someone will be sure to tell you that you’re out of your mind.

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Have you heard of Mickey Mouse?

Chances are that if you’ve lived almost anywhere in the world during the past 50 years that you’re familiar with Mickey or have at least heard about Disney.

I’m a huge fan of Disney, to the point that I even wear a Mickey Mouse watch.

I wear it because it’s a constant reminder of what one man created with just a pencil and paper, the simplest of tools.

In today’s time of endless productivity tools and technology people often get caught up in either what tool to use or what they need in order to pursue their dreams.

I implore you not to get caught in this trap.

In fact I challenge you to start wherever you are.

If you’re reading this on your phone then use the notes app. If you’re at a desk then grab the first writing instrument and any, I repeat any piece of paper you can write on and start dreaming.

Just let your mind and hand work together without applying  judgement or any thinking that will slow them down.

Almost everything you see around you that is not created by nature probably came to life when the idea was first expressed on paper.

This exercise is not for you to create the next Disney. It is for you to allow yourself to imagine and then write out what it would look like to create your own wonderland.

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What are you taking for granted in your day today?

Some of the most simple creature comforts in your everyday life didn’t exist a hundred years ago even for the wealthiest of people.

Central air and heat

Computers and the internet

Indoor plumbing

Modern mattresses

Refrigeration

Running water

Stoves that work with a press of a button

Unlimited electricity

Individuals spent countless hours building and developing these things and now you can experience all of these modern day miracles before you even leave your home.

You also have

Community

Family and friends

Health

And then you have life itself.

Your ability to take long deep breaths of abundant clean air that gets processed by your body without you ever having to think about.

Even if you only think about all the beauty and miracles you experience within the first hour of your day you might be surprised at how much you’ve been taking for granted.

Stop for a moment today, and think about all that you take for granted. It might just remind you how fortunate you really are.

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What is on your to do list today?

Is it full of important tasks that will move to you towards your goals?

Let me be so bold as to add a few small tasks to your list.

Smile.

Stretch for one minute.

Drink water.

Tell someone you love and appreciate them.

Say hi to a stranger.

Let someone else go first.

Stand outdoors for one minute.

Sit still for one minute.

Take 6 deep breaths.

Be grateful for all that you have.

As you go through your day working on your big tasks, think of these small activities as the mortar used to fill the gaps between bricks.

The items that I’ve taken the liberty of adding to your list might not improve your health, or  get you that promotion, or even lead you to financial prosperity, but they will improve your journey towards your all of your goals.

Why do you expect them to understand you?

They don’t see what you see.

They don’t hear what you hear.

They don’t think what you think.

They don’t feel what you feel.

Your experiences are unique to you.

You will never be exactly aligned with anyone you know.

The sooner you realize this the freer you will be.

This doesn’t mean your life will be without challenges, but it does mean that you’ll find solutions that’ll be uniquely suited to your personality.

The best thing about living true to yourself is that you will begin to attract people that accept, appreciate and enjoy who you are.

And again, they might not always understand you, but that’s okay because you probably won’t understand them either.

If you’ve spent any time with computers or smartphones then you’ve seen a message that says something similar to ‘New Update Available.’

The manufacturer of the product you’re using is constantly updating the hardware and software of your device to provide you with optimum performance; this is especially true about the Operating System or OS of your device.

The OS is the computers version of a foundation. If the OS has problems then it doesn’t matter how great any of the software you install is, it will not perform to the best of its ability.

The same applies to you.

It will not matter how much education you acquire, books you read, information you gather, if you’re not constantly updating your own OS.

Your health and your mind are your OS and if you don’t take the time to work on them then you will be unable to perform to the best of your ability.

Take steps to work on yourself because you will not receive any messages about new updates being available, but you will begin to experience poor performance.

Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Create a minimum care plan for yourself, things that you can do for yourself on a regular basis. Think of the plan as new updates for your own OS.

Unlike your device your health and mind are the only ones you’ll have, so keep them as healthy as possible.

The first wealth is health. Ralph Waldo Emerson

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How do you get out of a rut?

How do you stop doing what you always do?

You start by stopping.

If you’ve ever had the wheels of your car stuck in mud then you know that the best thing to do is not to keep spinning your wheels.  The best things to do is stop and assess the situation and perhaps rock the car back and forth or put something under your tires to give you traction.

You can use similar tactics to get unstuck in life.

Rocking a car back and forth requires help from others and you probably wouldn’t hesitate to ask for help, then why hesitate when it comes to your life?

Reaching out for professional help in any area of your life is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of maturity and strength.

There are unlimited resources that can help you free yourself from whatever rut you’re stuck in. So, the sooner you stop spinning your wheels and get help, the sooner you’ll be unstuck and on your way again.

Are you ready for the unpredictable?

Ok, you can unfurrow your brows now.

Obviously you can’t be ready for the unpredictable because you don’t know what’s going to happen next.

Or can you?

What if there was a way to always be prepared for the unpredictable?

What if you could find a way to remain steady in the face of unpredictability?

There’s always a gap in time or space between an unpredictable event and your response, and you can learn to manage that space.

The key is to make the moments between the event and your response work to your advantage. And it starts with a decision.

Although at times it might not seem as though you don’t have time to decide how you’re going to respond, the reality is that you do. It’s just that in most cases you default to how you’ve always responded.

Practice not responding. Literally when you see or hear something, don’t respond.  Or respond in the opposite to how you would normally do so.

Quick caveat, you don’t have to tell anyone you’re doing this. This is just practice for you.

The more you practice the better you’ll become at handling unpredictable situations because you’ll learn that almost always it’s your response to the event rather than the event itself.

Also keep in mind that you’re already great at handling the unpredictable, it’s just the size of the unpredictable events that throws most people off.