Raj Daniels

Do you remember practicing fire drills at school or even at work?

The reason for the practice was to ensure you behaved in a way that would ensure your safety in the event of a real fire.

Well what if today

Your car didn’t start.

You burned breakfast.

You were late to work.

You got in to an argument with someone.

Your kids were sick.

This is a very short list of the potential fires that can occur in your life and obviously some are worse than others.

The question is how will you respond when these things happen?

What does your emotional fire drill look like?

Now you might think that you don’t know how you’ll respond until one of them does happen, but you can practice how you will respond by defining what your core values are and what is important to you. Once you know deep down who you are, then responding to the next fire will be second nature.

Do you remember the fairy tales where the prince and princess ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after?

Do you know what happened the day after they rode off?

Nothing! It was a fairytale and written to make you feel good for a moment. It was not a representation of real life.

Hopefully somewhere along the way you’ve realized that life rarely imitates art because life is a continuum of events not a snapshot in time.

Fortunately though, if you focus on creating moments of happiness for yourself and the people around you, then the accumulation of those moments can result in a happily ever after ending.

How many subconscious choices will you make today?

Probably more than you can keep track of.

Some of your subconscious choices will be as simple as which lane to drive in and others will determine your how your live your life.

Your subconscious choices are tied directly to your beliefs and values. And your beliefs and values will drive your behavior because they will prioritize your actions.

For example, if you don’t have a belief or value that says great health is extremely important then you will behave and act accordingly. And during the day your subconscious choices will be to not exercise and allow yourself excuses to eat unhealthy food.

The way to leverage your subconscious thoughts is to take the time to clearly define what is important to you. Once you bring this level of clarity to your mind then your subconscious choices will begin to drive you towards the outcomes you want.

You’ve planned the perfect weekend outdoor and it rains, now what?

You planned the perfect trip and it turned out to be a disaster, now what?

You planned the perfect date and then you got sick, now what?

You planned to lose weight and you didn’t, now what?

You planned to retire early and you didn’t, now what?

How do you respond to any of these scenarios?

Since any one of these is entirely possible should you stop planning?

Planning is a skill and an art; it’s something you can learn over time.

Sometimes planning for contingencies is necessary and sometimes it’s not. A pilot or a surgeon obviously needs more plan B’s than someone going for a walk.

Planning allows you to dream, think and decide on how you’re going to get where you want to go. However, your original plan will rarely be the one that works and this is something you’ll have to get used to.

P.S. This post was inspired by the internet being down this morning and that’s why it’s being posted later than usual, just another example of having to change plans.

What would your day look like if nothing bothered you? If nothing triggered feelings of anger, anxiety or misery?

Do you believe that you can have such a day?

Hopefully you’re hesitant to believe that you can have such a day. Because that means there’s at least a chance it’s possible.

What if you can’t do it for a day? What about an hour or a minute? Is that possible?

I know, I know, you have to think about it. Because you have to go through your list of what if’s.

What if your kids don’t behave?

What if your spouse doesn’t say the right things?

What if your co-workers, employees, employer…?

What about the traffic?

What about…?

And after going through the different scenarios you might decide that I’m being unreasonable.

Perhaps I am being unreasonable. But so what?

What if it’s time to be a little unreasonable?

Greatness and magic takes place beyond reason.

So just for today, or this next hour, commit to not letting anything move you towards anger, anxiety or misery, and live with being unreasonable.

Did you read any positive headlines yesterday?

Did you hear any good news?

Or was doom and gloom all you heard about?

If you allow the news, traditional media and social media to guide your thinking then you’ve opened yourself to being scared and pessimistic.

You see, these outlets know that fear, scarcity, poor self-image and loss are the best emotions to evoke if they want to sell to you. A common phrase in sales is ‘fear of loss is a greater motivator than an opportunity to gain.’ So all their efforts are driven towards making you feel fear, loss and insufficient.

Now you might not read the negative articles but just exposing your mind to the headlines is enough to influence your thinking. Studies have shown that headlines or teasers matter much more than copy or content because it’s the headlines your brain pays attention to.

Try and 24 hour experiment where you only listen to and read clean curated information. Give your mind a break from the news and advertisers that are constantly trying to get into your head and only allow you to have access to your attention.

What messages and ideas do you allow in to your mind under the guise of entertainment?

Do you allow bad ideas and negative thoughts to slip by your common sense because you’re being entertained?

What if just one of the bad ideas you’re being entertained by plants itself in your mind and now it becomes your idea and dictates how you behave?

Studies have shown that watching violent movies does make some people more aggressive than others. The problem is that you don’t know if you’re one of those people.

Violence is just one example of a negative behavior. What if you learn to be ruthless, vengeful, or deceitful just because of the entertainment you expose yourself to?

Children are the most vulnerable when exposed to entertainment because they have not learned to discern reality from fiction, but adults too can be influenced by the entertainment they expose themselves to.

Carefully curate the entertainment you allow to enter your mind, because you might not know until it’s too late what thoughts and ideas will take root and become a part of your identity.

What would happen if you did laundry on a Tuesday?

Or any other day except the day you usually do it?

Do you think you could break your laundry day routine for a week or two?

Does just the thought of changing your laundry routine make you feel uncomfortable?

Why? Were you born doing laundry on a Tuesday? Does it define you as a person?

If you’re so attached to something as simple as when you do your laundry because you believe it’s the ‘right’ time to it, imagine all the other things you’ve become used to doing, just because.

Occasionally stop and ask yourself why you do things a particular way. Is it something you learned, were taught or just fell in to at some point in life and now just do it out of routine?

Do you ever feel as though someone you know has and unfair advantage?

Maybe they have a physical advantage and are better at sports? Or they were born in a particular circumstance that gives them a social or financial advantage? Or, they are they are super smart and seem to know all the right answers?

Whatever it is, we’ve all experienced the ‘it’s not fair’ syndrome.

But what about your unfair advantage?

Do you even know that you have one?

What is your unique skill or talent that deep down you know you have, but are often hesitant to reveal? Or what have people told you that you’re good at or seems to come naturally to you?

Once you’ve identified your unfair advantage you will then be able to see how you’ve used it to your benefit in the past, and then going forward you can leverage it as a tool to accomplish future goals.

Sit down and be quiet.

Keep your head down and they won’t notice you.

Dress like everyone else.

Be yourself, but not too much of yourself or you won’t fit in.

Play it safe.

Color between the lines.

When you decide to stand for something or decide not to be like anyone else in your area of life you will feel unpopular. You will have to decide if you want to be popular and compliant or be who you really are.

Questioning the status quo on anything is not wrong; in fact in many cases asking why is the beginning of new breakthroughs.

The world will always need people that think and act differently and it’s up to you to decide which group of people you want to be part of, same as or different than.

Who has access to your mind?

Do they have your best interest at heart?

Are they trying to improve your life or improve their bottom line?

So what about your mind? Is it an open playground for anyone and everyone to enter and play at will, influencing you to think this way and that way without you having any control?

Giving access to your mind is the most important thing you can do because once you’ve granted access then influence begins.

Carefully curating the information you allow in to your mind is one of the most important things you can do you for yourself, because ultimately you will become a product of the information that you have granted access to your mind.

What is your version of a normal life?

Is it something you’ve seen characterized in a book, movie or magazine?

What is normal to you could be totally foreign to your neighbor, especially in the multi-cultural world of today.

So, if everyone’s version of normal is different, what picture of normal are you aspiring to?

When you were born you were a blank slate and everything you consider to normal today is a byproduct of the influences you have been exposed to. And this normality is uniquely yours.

The illusion of being normal is an individual experience that is used as a lens through which to view and compare the outside world to your own.

Attempt to suspend your judgement when you encounter situations and opinions that don’t fit your picture of normal and be open to learning. Be curious and ask questions before considering things to be – not normal.