When plans fail

You’ve planned the perfect weekend outdoor and it rains, now what?

You planned the perfect trip and it turned out to be a disaster, now what?

You planned the perfect date and then you got sick, now what?

You planned to lose weight and you didn’t, now what?

You planned to retire early and you didn’t, now what?

How do you respond to any of these scenarios?

Since any one of these is entirely possible should you stop planning?

Planning is a skill and an art; it’s something you can learn over time.

Sometimes planning for contingencies is necessary and sometimes it’s not. A pilot or a surgeon obviously needs more plan B’s than someone going for a walk.

Planning allows you to dream, think and decide on how you’re going to get where you want to go. However, your original plan will rarely be the one that works and this is something you’ll have to get used to.

P.S. This post was inspired by the internet being down this morning and that’s why it’s being posted later than usual, just another example of having to change plans.

Just for today

What would your day look like if nothing bothered you? If nothing triggered feelings of anger, anxiety or misery?

Do you believe that you can have such a day?

Hopefully you’re hesitant to believe that you can have such a day. Because that means there’s at least a chance it’s possible.

What if you can’t do it for a day? What about an hour or a minute? Is that possible?

I know, I know, you have to think about it. Because you have to go through your list of what if’s.

What if your kids don’t behave?

What if your spouse doesn’t say the right things?

What if your co-workers, employees, employer…?

What about the traffic?

What about…?

And after going through the different scenarios you might decide that I’m being unreasonable.

Perhaps I am being unreasonable. But so what?

What if it’s time to be a little unreasonable?

Greatness and magic takes place beyond reason.

So just for today, or this next hour, commit to not letting anything move you towards anger, anxiety or misery, and live with being unreasonable.

I wish someone would

Do you ever find yourself saying ‘I wish someone would, build this, fix that…fill in the blank?’

Can you imagine if the Wright brothers, Henry Ford or Steve Jobs would have asked the same question? Where would the world be today?

It’s easy to fall in to a pattern of wanting others build products or invent things to solve problems that you encounter. But what if you took matters in to your own hands?

If you’re experiencing a continuous problem in your life with an existing product or service then there’s a great chance that others too are feeling the same. So why not try to fix or improve it?

You’re probably hesitant because you believe you’re not an expert or don’t have the right qualifications or education, and that might technically be true but that shouldn’t stop you from trying or at least investigating.

Generating ideas of how to improve and invent things is also a great exercise for your brain. It doesn’t matter if all you have are bad ideas because almost everything you see around you started either as a bad idea or an idea someone ridiculed or didn’t understand.

So the next time you see or feel that there could be a better way to do something don’t wish or wait for someone else to do it, try to do it yourself. And don’t worry if all you can do at first is write down what you think is a better way, because many of the great ideas you see around you started the same way.

Own your attention

Did you read any positive headlines yesterday?

Did you hear any good news?

Or was doom and gloom all you heard about?

If you allow the news, traditional media and social media to guide your thinking then you’ve opened yourself to being scared and pessimistic.

You see, these outlets know that fear, scarcity, poor self-image and loss are the best emotions to evoke if they want to sell to you. A common phrase in sales is ‘fear of loss is a greater motivator than an opportunity to gain.’ So all their efforts are driven towards making you feel fear, loss and insufficient.

Now you might not read the negative articles but just exposing your mind to the headlines is enough to influence your thinking. Studies have shown that headlines or teasers matter much more than copy or content because it’s the headlines your brain pays attention to.

Try and 24 hour experiment where you only listen to and read clean curated information. Give your mind a break from the news and advertisers that are constantly trying to get into your head and only allow you to have access to your attention.

Brand You

What is your personal brand? And yes, you do have one.

Your personal brand is not what you say you are, but how people feel about you.

When people think about you or hear your name, what are their feelings and perceptions about you? What do they say about you when you’re not around?

Now you can influence how people feel about you by behaving in a manner in which you want to be seen but you have to be consistent because if you’re not then you will tarnish your own brand.

And being consistent is hard unless, you always remain true to yourself and behave as the person you really are, not what you think people want you to be.

You are the CEO of you and the great thing about brand you is that you always have a choice about how you want to be seen and thought of, so choose wisely.

Entertainment?

What messages and ideas do you allow in to your mind under the guise of entertainment?

Do you allow bad ideas and negative thoughts to slip by your common sense because you’re being entertained?

What if just one of the bad ideas you’re being entertained by plants itself in your mind and now it becomes your idea and dictates how you behave?

Studies have shown that watching violent movies does make some people more aggressive than others. The problem is that you don’t know if you’re one of those people.

Violence is just one example of a negative behavior. What if you learn to be ruthless, vengeful, or deceitful just because of the entertainment you expose yourself to?

Children are the most vulnerable when exposed to entertainment because they have not learned to discern reality from fiction, but adults too can be influenced by the entertainment they expose themselves to.

Carefully curate the entertainment you allow to enter your mind, because you might not know until it’s too late what thoughts and ideas will take root and become a part of your identity.

Laundry on a Tuesday

What would happen if you did laundry on a Tuesday?

Or any other day except the day you usually do it?

Do you think you could break your laundry day routine for a week or two?

Does just the thought of changing your laundry routine make you feel uncomfortable?

Why? Were you born doing laundry on a Tuesday? Does it define you as a person?

If you’re so attached to something as simple as when you do your laundry because you believe it’s the ‘right’ time to it, imagine all the other things you’ve become used to doing, just because.

Occasionally stop and ask yourself why you do things a particular way. Is it something you learned, were taught or just fell in to at some point in life and now just do it out of routine?

Unfair advantage

Do you ever feel as though someone you know has and unfair advantage?

Maybe they have a physical advantage and are better at sports? Or they were born in a particular circumstance that gives them a social or financial advantage? Or, they are they are super smart and seem to know all the right answers?

Whatever it is, we’ve all experienced the ‘it’s not fair’ syndrome.

But what about your unfair advantage?

Do you even know that you have one?

What is your unique skill or talent that deep down you know you have, but are often hesitant to reveal? Or what have people told you that you’re good at or seems to come naturally to you?

Once you’ve identified your unfair advantage you will then be able to see how you’ve used it to your benefit in the past, and then going forward you can leverage it as a tool to accomplish future goals.

Guaranteed to feel good

If I told you there’s one thing you can today to make yourself feel good would you believe me?

And I’m not saying it might make you feel good, I’m guaranteeing that it will.

It doesn’t have to cost you anything and would probably take very little time but the feeling will make your brain smile.

I know you’re thinking what’s the catch? Well, there is a catch. You can’t tell anyone. It’s just between you and me.

Are you ready?

Do something nice for someone, and don’t tell them you did.

Simple, right?

Well, maybe for some of you but for others you’ll be bursting at the seams wanting to tell them or point it out in some way because you’ll be seeking acknowledgment.  But resist the temptation. They don’t need to know and it’ll be our little secret.

And if you’re just so busy that you can’t find time to do something nice then think of someone and say good words about them in your head.

Not only does doing something nice for someone give you a sense of fulfillment but it’s the only real time that you are in control of anything. So go ahead and brighten your own day by making someone else’s.

Same or Different

Sit down and be quiet.

Keep your head down and they won’t notice you.

Dress like everyone else.

Be yourself, but not too much of yourself or you won’t fit in.

Play it safe.

Color between the lines.

When you decide to stand for something or decide not to be like anyone else in your area of life you will feel unpopular. You will have to decide if you want to be popular and compliant or be who you really are.

Questioning the status quo on anything is not wrong; in fact in many cases asking why is the beginning of new breakthroughs.

The world will always need people that think and act differently and it’s up to you to decide which group of people you want to be part of, same as or different than.

Access granted

Who has access to your mind?

Do they have your best interest at heart?

Are they trying to improve your life or improve their bottom line?

So what about your mind? Is it an open playground for anyone and everyone to enter and play at will, influencing you to think this way and that way without you having any control?

Giving access to your mind is the most important thing you can do because once you’ve granted access then influence begins.

Carefully curating the information you allow in to your mind is one of the most important things you can do you for yourself, because ultimately you will become a product of the information that you have granted access to your mind.

Normal?

What is your version of a normal life?

Is it something you’ve seen characterized in a book, movie or magazine?

What is normal to you could be totally foreign to your neighbor, especially in the multi-cultural world of today.

So, if everyone’s version of normal is different, what picture of normal are you aspiring to?

When you were born you were a blank slate and everything you consider to normal today is a byproduct of the influences you have been exposed to. And this normality is uniquely yours.

The illusion of being normal is an individual experience that is used as a lens through which to view and compare the outside world to your own.

Attempt to suspend your judgement when you encounter situations and opinions that don’t fit your picture of normal and be open to learning. Be curious and ask questions before considering things to be – not normal.

Personal Best

Do you have a personal best?

Do you know what a personal best is?

A personal best is a common phrase in athletics that indicates the best time or score achieved by an athlete in a particular event.

I can hear you now. But I’m not an athlete. And I believe you don’t have to be an athlete to achieve a personal best. I also believe some healthy competition with yourself can be fun.

What if you attempted to set a personal best in an area of your life?

It could be something as simple as how fast you can make your bed today, something big like how much money you could earn in a year or even playful, like how many people you can hug in a day.

The wonderful thing about a personal best is that you set the challenge for yourself and you’re the only person you need to beat. And just imagine what could happen if you learned to push yourself a little for a better version of you.

Forgiveness

What do you do when you feel wronged by someone?

Do you harbor the injustice and let it fester like an open wound or do you forgive and move on?

Learning to forgive will be one of the most powerful things you can learn to do. It will always benefit you more than the person you’re forgiving.

When you don’t forgive you carry with you the open chapter of whatever happened to you and continue to fuel to your feeling of resentment. Forgiveness provides you with a way to close the chapter and move on.

Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting. And it doesn’t mean that you’re right or wrong. It just means that you’re willing to let go.

You will never be able to control how people act towards you but you will always be able to control how you choose to respond to their behavior. Realize that most of time when people do something to hurt you they are only doing what they think is right and not out to hurt you.

Choose today to stop mentally revisiting the incidents with people in the past that have hurt you. You’ve already been carrying the burden for too long. Forgive them and leave them in the past where they belong.

Too much to do

Do you feel as though you have too much to do? The truth is that you probably do, and so does everybody else.

You will always have an infinite number of things to do and you will not know the outcome of any one of those things until you do them. You might think you do, but you really don’t.

Feeling overwhelmed with too much to do is common source of stress for many and often leads to not doing anything. The feeling of too much to do can literally freeze an individual in to a state of inaction.

The inaction usually stems from not being able to decide what to do first. This is because by nature, if you commit to doing one thing then you are deciding not to do something else and that’s where the inaction happens, from the uncertainty.

So, when you feel as though you have too much to do, know that what you’re actually experiencing is the uncertainty of what to do first and if it’s the right thing to do.  And unfortunately, this feeling will never go away.

One way to address the feeling of too much to do is to take the smallest action you can towards one small to do. The action itself will give you will help you bolster your confidence as you move towards your larger to do’s.

You don’t know?

Do you know that Mount Everest is 29,029 feet above sea level?

Do you know that DNA is short for deoxyribonucleic acid?

Do you know that elephants are the only animals that cannot jump?

If you already knew all these facts then good for you, but if you didn’t then you’re welcome.

The point of this is, what information do you have in your head or are you familiar with that you expect others to know? How many people have lived your life the way you have so that they would know everything you do?

When you ask someone if they know the answer to something and they don’t, how do you respond? Do you respond with surprise and attempt to share your knowledge or with a tone of condescension?

Even trained professionals in specialized industries don’t have all the answers in their head, but they do know where and how to get them.

The next time you’re surprised that someone doesn’t have the same information as you, show a little grace instead of superiority. Respond by sharing what you know. Remember, they might know that the distance to Jupiter is 365 miles because that’s what’s important to them.

Follow your Problems

How many times have you heard that you should follow your passion?

But what if you don’t know what you’re passionate about?

Well I want to suggest an alternative. Follow your problems.

We’ve all encountered situations in our lives where we’ve wished that there was a better way to do something.  What if that’s the starting point of finding something you’re passionate about.

You see, if you find a problem that’s bothering you then there’s a great likelihood that others are encountering it too. And if solving the problem comes easy to you then you have a skill that is valuable. And although you might not be passionate about solving the problem, if you can solve it for others then you will find meaning.

There’s nothing wrong with following your passion especially if you know what it is, but keep in mind that passion can wane and change with time. Problems on the other hand are endless and if you can infuse a little bit of passion in to solving problems then you might just have a winning formula.

Cultivate self-fulfillment

What is keeping you from feeling fulfilled in your life?

We have all experienced this feeling of, if I could just have this one more thing or if I could meet this special person then I would feel fulfilled.

The truth is that deep down we know that relying on external factors to provide a sense of fulfillment leaves us wide open to disappointment.

What if we shed this notion of looking outside for fulfillment and begin to cultivate it internally?

When you take steps to be responsible towards your own sense of fulfillment you begin to experience a feeling of calm and control. You will experience an unwavering security in yourself.

Cultivating self-fulfillment starts with being present to your inner self. It requires you to stop and listen to your thoughts and feelings so that you can learn to identify who you are at your core and it will also give you clues about the gaps you are trying to fill within you. It is not easy. But over time the rewards will be much greater than anything you can find outside of yourself.

The Perfect illusion

When will you feel that everything is perfect?

When it all works out for you?

When you have everything under control?

When it all looks perfect?

When do you think this will happen?

Perfection is an illusion that you can chase forever but will never catch. It something you see in books, movies, and artificially structured moments and environments.

Even the most ‘perfect’ endeavors such as going in to outer space and life threatening surgeries have degrees of imperfection. It’s just that you don’t see them because all you see is the end result.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t aim for good or even greatness in your life, however be aware that true perfection is an illusion.

Inspire Someone

Think of a time when you were inspired by words someone said to you. How did it make you feel?

When was the last time you intentionally set out to inspire someone?

The word inspire originates from Latin and means breathe in or breath into, so when you inspire someone you breathe life into them. And how many people do you know that could use some inspiration?

A few simple inspirational words said with sincerity can make a huge difference in someone’s day or even their life.  So why not do it more often? Inspiring someone will not cost you anything but your action will be priceless.