Raj Daniels

In the field of computer science GIGO stands for garbage in garbage out.

In simple terms what this means is that the information you get from a computer is only as good as the information you put in to it. So how does that apply to you? Well, your brain is essentially the best computer the world has ever seen and also works in a similar manner. If you feed it garbage then that’s what you’ll experience.

Some of the most common forms of garbage people feed their brains with are:

Gossip. The he said she said that goes on every day. Fueling rumors about other people based on hearsay. Talking negatively about other people when they are not present also gives you the insecurity that people will talk about you when you’re not present.

Media. Books, TV and movies that feed you stories about how bad the world is. This especially applies to ‘The News.’ Today’s news programs are designed to create fear and negativity and ultimately sell you advertising. Since your brain is programmed for survival it will always be more attuned to negative news, so exposing it to more negativity reinforces the feeling that the world is a bad and dangerous place.

Negative language. Recent studies show that children that are exposed to negative language and continued stressful situations actually have smaller brain sizes than children from healthy homes.

As well as being extremely powerful your brain is also very vulnerable to external influences. It absorbs information and events constantly and is continuously trying to make sense of the world. So, the best thing you can do for your brain and ultimately yourself is to expose it to a healthy environment and as many positive situations as you can.

How much thought do you put in to how you end your day?

The final minutes of your day before you go to sleep can directly determine your quality of sleep and even to some extent your mood the next morning. Consciously creating an end of day routine is almost as important as a morning routine.

Here a few suggestions for creating an end of day routine.

Turn off screens about 30 minutes before you go bed. Research has shown that the blue light emitted by phones, TV’s and computers can affect the production of the sleep hormone. They also stimulate your brain in to being alert and not rest ready.

Take a minute to practice gratitude. Thinking about the little things that you are grateful for creates a sense of comfort and satisfaction that leads to lowering of stress.

Relax your body. Take few deep breaths and consciously contract and relax a few muscles in your body.

Keep a notebook. If you do have some last minute thoughts swirling around then write them down. Getting them out of head and on to paper will help your brain relax.

Creating an end of day routine has been shown to increase quality of sleep and overall well-being. So take 5 minutes or so tonight to improve your life.

When was the last time you became so immersed in doing something that you lost all track of time, and what were you doing?

Children are the masters of losing track of time because it has little or no meaning to them. However, as adults we tie ourselves to our clocks so that everything can be ‘according to schedule.’

I challenge you this weekend to think about doing an activity that you like to do and then making a plan to do it without setting a time limit for the activity. I know, I can hear you now. But Raj, I have kids, I have a spouse, I have a job, I have a life…Yes I know and understand you do, because I do too. If you go back to the beginning of the paragraph you’ll notice I said think about it and make a plan, not leave everything behind and do it tomorrow. Although, if circumstances do allow then please do so. By the way, those of you thinking about sleep as an activity, no it doesn’t count.

Finding an activity that you love to the extent that you forget about time will tell you a lot about who you are and perhaps where you should be spending more of your life.

Turn off all your notifications today for an hour.

No text, email, calls, nothing that can interrupt you for an hour. In fact, if you’re brave enough you can even turn your phone off. If you feel the need to let loved ones or co-workers know that you’re going to be doing this then go ahead and tell them, otherwise just try it.

Studies show that he average American can’t go five minutes without checking their phones. The addiction to the buzz, bing, vibrate and the little red badges are constantly breaking your thought patterns.

Turing off or ignoring notifications will be hard at first because you are physically addicted and do get a bump of the brain chemical dopamine every time you get a notification.  So, if starting with an hour is hard then start with 10 minutes today and set a goal to eventually get to an hour.  Free up space in your mind to allow yourself to once again experience full and complete thought patterns.

What is your view of the world and how do you judge people that don’t see things your way?

I was watching my 3 year old daughter walk through a crowd this weekend and thought to myself that all she sees is adult butts all day long. Her entire world view is based on a ‘below the waist’ perspective.

We’re all guilty of only seeing things our way and judging others for not seeing things from our perspective. Yet intellectually we know that if we all had the same thoughts and ideas then how boring our world would be.

Recognizing that we are constantly judging people from our perspective and then allowing for a little curiosity about why they don’t see the world the way we do can help broaden perspective and also increase empathy.

So the next time you’re quick to judge someone’s perspective, think of my 3 year old looking at butts all day, smile and give the other person’s perspective a chance.

Today is a perfect day to give something away.

The key is not to give away something you don’t want or don’t like but something you are attached to. Trust me; you’ll be just fine after you give it away. In fact you’ll probably feel better. The act of being able to give away something you’re attached to is the sign of an abundant mindset. It signals to your brain that you have enough and can always get more.

Here are some things that you can give away today.

Money is the most obvious one that people think of. So donate today.

Go through your closet and give away clothes that you would wear again, not something you don’t want.

Donate food. Not the cheapest can food you can buy, but again something you would like to eat.

Give away your time. This of course is your most precious resource since you can’t get it back once it’s gone. And I know you’re extremely busy, but giving away an hour of your time today or this weekend will probably not make a huge difference in your life, except that you’ll feel good.

Research has shown that the ability to give actually increases the givers happiness and in some studies it even increases overall well-being. So, go out today and make yourself happy and healthy by giving.

What are your insecurities and where do they stem from?

We all have them but rarely do we take the time to really examine them. Take some time this week to write out your insecurities and see how they are affecting your daily actions.

Some of the most common insecurities that people have are

He or she might leave me if.

If don’t behave a certain way then I will not be accepted.

Comparing yourself to others and then feeling less than perfect.

Criticism you received as a child still dictating how you live your life.

Listing out your insecurities will give you the opportunity to face each one and evaluate if they are grounded in reality or if they were caused by some previous experience that you have been replaying over time. The first step you can take to overcoming your insecurities is accepting and loving who you are. Having a sense of self approval doesn’t mean that you don’t want become better or improve, it does mean coming to terms with who you are today. Look in a mirror today and say ‘I love you’ to your reflection. This might sound like a silly exercise, but I guarantee you that many people cannot look themselves in the eyes and do this. Remember, if you can’t love yourself, how will you make room for others to love you.

Are you in a hurry today?

Have you spent any time this morning rushing to get somewhere or hurrying others along, perhaps the car in front of you in morning traffic or the person in front of you at your local coffee shop? What’s the rush? And do you really believe you can will the world to move faster if you grip the steering wheel tighter or mutter under your breath as they decide between a medium and a large latte. Slow down and accept where you are.

As a parent I used to find myself constantly telling my children to hurry up. It started in the morning with hurry up and take a shower, hurry up and eat, hurry up and get dressed, blah blah blah all the way through the end of the day with hurry up and go to bed. And even after saying hurry up several times a day we still ended up with things being done in the same amount of time. So I stopped rushing them and now we just get there when we do. The best part is that we’re all a lot happier when we get where we have to be, however the stress of the constant rush is gone.

I’m not advocating being late for events, meetings etc. What I am saying is that living in a state of constant hurry takes a physical toll on you and those around you. So, the next time you find yourself trying to will the person in front of you to move faster, take a deep breath and allow for the event to unfold. You’ll probably get to where you needed to at the same time, but you might just arrive a little happier.

You’re being robbed of your attention. Companies are paying millions of dollars to steal pieces of your life and you probably don’t realize it. Scientists and PhD’s are hired to create products and campaigns just so that you can pay attention to them and not your own life.

You do not have an unlimited supply of attention so whenever you choose to invest your attention on one thing you are taking away from another area of your life. The internet and TV are the biggest culprits when it comes to stealing your attention. Imagine if every time you aimlessly surfed the web or flipped through TV channels that you were asked to pay money. Would you still spend as much time doing these activities?

During the next few days try to be conscious of how much time you’re spending aimlessly surfing the internet, on social media or flipping through channels trying to find ‘something to watch.’ And then consider what else you could be doing with your attention.

John Kennedy said it best in his “ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” Today I ask, what can you do for you? Not, what can your spouse, employer, children, friends do for you.

Here are some questions to start your day with.

What can you do today to make yourself happy?

What can you do today to make yourself healthier?

What can you do today to build better relationships?

What can you do today to create meaning in your life?

Your answers to these questions don’t have to be long eloquent paragraphs. Start with one question; think about it for five minutes and write down simple one word answers that will move you to action.

Unfortunately, most people will read these questions and just move on without acting or even thinking about answering them. And it will be the same excuses, too busy right now, get back to it later etc. The problem is that there is never this perfect imaginary time of being less busy or having more time. So, take five minutes right now and act!

Everyone’s life is a mess to some extent. Unfortunately all you get to see is the highlight reel, a brief picture of their existence. And then you compare your entire life to the snapshot you’ve been exposed too. Your brain then takes the snapshot and goes in to the ‘life is good for everyone but me’ thought cycle.

Read the biography of any famous person you admire and you’ll find that they have all experienced struggles in some area of life. Broken relationships, financial troubles, health issues, one or all of these is part of everyone’s journey.

I love the example of the duck on water. All we see is the duck moving gracefully along, but if we looked under the surface we would see its feet paddling frantically to move it along.

So the next time you find yourself thinking how perfect someone’s life is consider for a moment that they might be thinking the same thing about you.

I came across this word about 10 years ago and it very quickly became one of my favorite words. Equanimity is the ability to remain calm and composed especially in difficult situations.

One of the keys to maintaining a state of equanimity is to deconstruct a situation that is causing you to be frustrated or angry, the ability to view the situation from the standpoint of an observer. One of the best times to practice equanimity is when you feel as though you are being verbally or emotionally attacked by an individual. Take a moment to breathe and step out of the situation. Don’t take their bait and allow them to get their hook in to you. If an individual does say something hurtful try to understand why rather than reacting and fueling their fire.

Maintaining a state of equanimity can apply to all areas of life since everything you engage in is a relationship between your mind and the situation. Allowing yourself to give pause to a situation or an event will give you the ability to maintain and even keel rather than being on an emotional rollercoaster.

Do you have a place where you can go to think, create, problem solve, a place that takes you out of your usual environment?

Research shows that one of the easiest things you can do to stimulate your brain is to change its environment. Moving from a place that you are used to somewhere new forces your brain to behave differently and create new perspectives.

Finding a new place doesn’t’ mean travelling to far off lands although this could be fun and highly stimulating. A new place can be as simple as working from a coffee shop instead of an office for a few hours, sitting somewhere different in an office building or even going for a walk in area that you’re not familiar with.

The objective of changing your environment is that it breaks your usual cognitive patterns and forces your brain to think creatively, thus allowing you to see things differently. So the next time you find yourself stuck on a problem or in a particular thought pattern go find a place you’ve never been and it’ll give you new perspective.

How much time, energy and effort do you spend being angry or staying upset with someone?

Especially someone you really love. If that person disappeared tomorrow, how would you feel? Would you still be angry or would you regret your last feelings towards them?

Staying upset over time requires you spend energy reliving the thought and moment over and over again. It’s as though you have a wound that you refuse to let heal, you continuously pick at the scab causing it to bleed just so that you can remember what happened.

You feel justified in your anger only because you want the other person to see the world from your perspective, but they almost never will. Their world view is based on a collection of their own experiences so in their mind they are behaving appropriately.

I’m not suggesting that you excuse their behavior, especially if it is malicious towards you. What I am saying is fueling your own negative emotion by continuously thinking or talking about it doesn’t benefit either one of you. Remember, anger is only one of many responses you can choose to have for an event.

Make time to share your knowledge. Mentoring whether in an official or unofficial capacity can be one of the most fulfilling activities you can ever do. Maybe you don’t realize just how much experience or knowledge you have gained over the years and how helpful that knowledge can be to others. You might experience doubt or question your expertise in a particular area and think that others already know what you do, and this might be true about factual information. But, your perspective is unique and this is where you can be extremely helpful.

Sharing what you know also helps you because it makes you to think clearly in order to communicate your knowledge effectively. Keep in mind there is an important distinction between sharing your knowledge and giving advice. When you are sharing your knowledge you are conveying what you have experienced and not trying to tell the other person what they should do.

Sharing your knowledge stems from an abundant mindset. It is a very powerful frame of mind when you can share your knowledge freely without being concerned that someone will now know what you do. Remember, many of the greatest teachers and masters overtime were not those that hoarded their knowledge but those that gave away all they knew.

Do you ever feel like you’re not getting what you want fast enough? You want it now, so why can’t you have it now? You think you’re doing all the right things but it’s just taking so long, almost too long. This could apply to any area of your life.

You’ve been programmed by the ‘just add water’ media that your needs and wants should be instantly fulfilled. Pay attention to the messages you see and hear, how many times this week you are exposed to one or more of the following phrases.

Get rich quick

Lose weight fast

Overnight success

Over time these messages cause you to have an internal disparity in your life. You begin to feel as though there’s something you’re not doing right and this is the emotion these messages are designed to create. They are designed for you to act but not necessarily in your best interest.

The trick is to realize that any endeavor that is going to create lasting change in your life is going to take time. It’s going to take time and effort to begin and more important, it’s going to take even more effort to maintain. So allow your rational thinking mind to push your feelings of ‘why don’t I have it now’ to the side and keep moving forward.

Your mind is always looking for a way to escape from itself and you help it by continuously providing it with distractions. TV, phone, text messages, social media, radio, family, work, which combinations of these do you use on a daily basis avoid listening to who you are?

These external inputs shape your thoughts, moods and ideas of who you should be and how your life should look. Whether you do it consciously or unconsciously every input demands a degree of attention and your brain is constantly being bombarded with new thoughts while it is trying to reconcile existing ones.

Commit sometime today to eliminating all distractions for a short period of time.

No TV or reading.

Do not respond to call, emails or text messages, unless of course you’re an emergency worker or physician on call.

Turn the music off as you drive.

Allow your brain to absorb your activities throughout your day and listen to your thoughts. See which thoughts are empowering you and which ones are affecting you in a negative way.  Researchers say that you have between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts per day, why not try to listen to some of them and see what they have to say.

Who are you going to blame today and for what? Are you going to blame your boss, your significant other, your co-workers, your children? Who is going to be the cause of your frustration, unhappiness, anger? How much time do you spend blaming people because they do not live up to your standards or your expectations, yet deep down you know that blaming them does not cure your frustrations?

I know you’re thinking, but it is their fault and you might be right. But how you’re reacting to it is up to you. Pouring your energy into how another person behaves only fuels your fire not theirs. When you find yourself beginning to blame someone, take pause and think about why you feel so wronged. Did they do it deliberately to harm you? Was their intent malicious? If so then take action, but don’t dwell on it with frustration. Acting in a calm directed manner will give you sense of control over the situation.

The thing about blame is that it easy to do and people will always give you an opportunity to blame them. But what if you didn’t? How would that look? Try it today and see what happens.