Raj Daniels

How will you waste time today?

That’s right. I want you to think about wasting time productively. I can feel you struggling with the dichotomy of my previous sentence. But that’s okay.

Look, we both know that you’ll waste some time today, and that’s okay because so will I. Whether it’s daydreaming, scrolling the internet, or any other time-wasting activity you might have.

Allowing yourself to spend some time letting your mind aimlessly wander might sound counterproductive, and it can be if it continues for too long, but it can also allow for much-needed rest and recovery.

Over the years, there’s been a vast body of work focused on being productive and getting things done, so much so that you might feel as though you need to be on task all day long, but that’s not possible. You’re not a machine. And even machines eventually need some downtime.

One of the hidden benefits of wasting time is that it might be an underlying symptom. You might be avoiding a task that you either don’t want to or can’t do for one reason or another, so you drag your feet and do something less productive. But quite often, it’s during the time-wasting, you can come up with a creative or different approach to help you complete your unwanted or unfinished task.

I realize that wasting time is not often viewed as a virtue and is rarely recommended, especially by productivity gurus, but that’s okay because each to their own. And I’m by no means suggesting that you waste all your time. What I am saying is that it’s okay sometimes to allow yourself to be off task.

So, the next time you find yourself wasting time, do so without guilt and use the opportunity to introspect and inquire why you’re wasting time. It might be that you’ll learn more about yourself during your time-wasting than when you’re being hyper-productive.

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What are your plans for the new year?

You must be thinking that I’ve lost my mind and while at times that might be debatable, today is not that day.

While I’m quite sure that March 18^th is not considered the beginning of the year in any culture or religion, that doesn’t mean that you can’t treat today or any other day as the start of a new year for you.

You see, the idea of a new year is filled with hope and the idea that this time the year will be different. But then life and inertia draw you back into the same old same old.

Let me quickly interrupt myself to say that if everything is working for you and your life is going as planned; you can skip reading and get back to it. However, if you’re just muddling through your days, hoping that someday things might change, then this might be that day.

Waiting for your life to change is like waiting for a train at a bus station – you’ll be waiting for a long time, or at least until a group of ‘very nice people’ show up and take you away, which is, of course, one way to institute change in your life. Come to think of it, quite a few people wait for change to happen to them instead of doing it themselves.

Hopefully, you’re not one of those people.

If you’re still reading, then I’m sure you’re not. You’re the kind of person thinking about and looks for ways to create change for yourself. And there’s one sure way to make a change in your life. Be resolute.

That’s right. Resolute, as in the new year’s resolution, but without waiting for a specific date on a calendar to do so. Today or any day you choose can be the beginning of a new year for you.

So, if you’re thinking about changing something in your life, then as the sages say, there’s no day like today. Commit yourself to your decision and make this your personal happiest new year.

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What are your standards for living?

You’ve probably heard of a standard of living, which is defined as the degree of wealth and material comfort available to a person or community. But what about standards for living?

Are you required to have standards for living? Absolutely not. But I highly recommend you consider having some for yourself.

Your standards for living are rules that you define and implement for yourself. They are your own personal guidelines about what you will and will not expect from yourself.

Holding yourself to a particular standard is one way to improve your overall quality of life. Setting standards can help you make decisions and eliminate uncertainty.

For example, let’s say you set a standard for yourself regarding your health. You could decide on a particular weight, size of clothing, or even the amount of sleep you define as beneficial for your health. Once you determine your standard, then you have a tangible goal to hold yourself accountable to. It’s your own personal standard.

Now you might ask if you can deviate from your standard, and the answer is yes, but if you do it too often, then it’s no longer a standard.

When you hold yourself to a specific set of standards, you’ll encounter resistance mainly in the form of people around you saying that you’re being too hard on yourself and that you should live a little, and you’ll have to decide whether you’re living for them or yourself. It will not be an easy decision to make, but if you want to improve the quality of your life, then you might need to sacrifice a relationship or two.

So, learn to set standards for yourself. View them not as a constraint on your life but as a tool to decrease the number of decisions you need to make and a way to improve your quality of life.

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How do you respond when someone disagrees with you?

Do you welcome the disagreement, or do you feel triggered and need to push back?

Your ability to handle opinions and points of view that don’t align with yours will be crucial to your social interactions. And, of course, your life, because life is a series of social interactions after all.

It’s natural to feel threatened when a person disagrees with you because they challenge and question your worldview, including your beliefs and values. At a subconscious level, you think that you must convince the person disagreeing with you to see the world your way, and they are probably feeling the same about you.

So, what happens when you’re at an impasse and neither party agrees?

Well, there’s the obvious answer: you no longer communicate with the other person, but if you continue down that path, you’ll live a very lonely existence.

There are a few ways to welcome and handle disagreements.

The first is that you can hold your point of view while entertaining a different or opposing point of view. Realizing that every time a person disagrees with you is not an attack on your beliefs allows you to be confident in your point of view and hear them out. When you jump to a defensive mode, you shut down your ability to truly hear what the other person is saying.

The second is a willingness to change your point of view. If you use it wisely, your ability and willingness to change your mind can serve you as a superpower. As the quote goes, “when events change, I change my mind. What do you do?”

Last is that you agree to disagree – respectfully. We do not all have to agree with each other to co-exist. Accepting the fact that everyone experiences and sees life differently and yet, make an effort to get along despite our differences.

So, the next time you find yourself in a situation where someone disagrees with you, remind yourself that there’s a high probability that it’s not a personal attack on you. It’s just that they see the world differently than you do. And if you can’t find a solution to the disagreement, then at least you can respectfully agree to disagree.

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How much time do you spend in day-tight compartments?

Before I go on, I should probably explain what a day-tight compartment is. Of course, if you already know, feel free to read on.

A day-tight compartment is a phrase coined by Sir William Osler in the 1800s and is best described by the British philosopher Thomas Carlyle, “Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance but to do what lies clearly at hand.” Perhaps said more simply, live or focus on today, not what you think might happen tomorrow.

If you ever struggled with anxiety, you know that it can almost become paralyzing at times, to the point where you don’t know what to do next. Anxiety also tends to amplify your perception of future scenarios, and you might find yourself continuously asking yourself what else could go wrong?

Osler began thinking about day-tight compartments to alleviate his constant anxiety and stress about what might happen in the future. He began to focus his attention on the day at hand and living it to its full potential.

I understand that transitioning from worrying about the future to focusing on today can sound like a difficult task, but with practice, it’s possible. And if you can’t do it all the time, at least if you manage to accomplish it some of the time, you could turn down the heat on your anxiety from a rolling boil to a slow simmer.

Let me be clear that not thinking about tomorrow doesn’t mean eliminating the idea of goal setting or planning for the future. It means once you set goals or make plans, then shift your focus to what you can do today and only today – in the day-tight compartment.

So, begin to learn to day-tight compartmentalize your days. Tamp down your anxiety by shifting your focus from what you think might happen in the future to what you can accomplish today.

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How often do you think about compound interest?

If not compound interest, then what about compound effort?

History has it that Albert Einstein once said, “Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Those who understand it, earn it… those who don’t, pay it.”

While compound interest might be the eighth wonder of the world, compound effort is not very far behind—perhaps the ninth or tenth wonder of the world.

The wonderful thing about compound effort is that unlike compound interest, which is limited to finance, it can be applied to any area of your life.

The problem or challenge with compound effort, like its close cousin compound interest, is that you can rarely feel or see any measurable results in the early stages. And because you can’t see any results, you’re more likely to discard your efforts before they take root. Consider the acorn that has the potential to become an oak tree. If you had never seen an oak tree, then it would be difficult to fathom that such a small seed could one day become such a magnificent tree.

Another challenge with compound effort is that you rarely see a fixed or linear rate of return. In fact, your return or results are almost guaranteed to fluctuate between times when you feel like you’re making progress and times when you feel as though you’re standing still or, even worse, moving backward.

It’s when you feel as though you’re not making any progress that requires you to have faith. I know faith is an esoteric concept, and if you’re a hard-charging, A-type personality, then it’s difficult to wrap your brain around something as squishy as faith. But I can almost guarantee you that if you exert effort in any area of your life, then deep down, you have faith that it will yield results.

So, take Einstein’s advice and learn to understand the benefits of compound effort. When you begin to use the power of effort over time to change or improve any area of your life, you’ll eventually be able to reap the fruits of your labor.

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What’s the difference between fearless and fear less?

The definition of fearless is, one that lacks fear. If this describes you, then you have a superpower, but you must wield your fearlessness with great care like any other superpower. A tiny percentage of the population is indeed fearless, and while being so might bode well for them, they also tend to put themselves and others in harm’s way.

On the other hand, fearing less is a skill you can learn to develop. Fearing less is about controlling your anxiety and in some cases, rewriting or reimagining future outcomes.

In many cases, fear usually starts as anxiety. Now there are some people that are predisposed to anxiety due to a chemical imbalance or exposure to traumatic experiences. Fortunately, there are medicines and self-help techniques that can help manage anxiety.

The journey to fearing less first begins with recognizing your tendency to leap to worse case scenarios. One way to prevent this leap is to alter your perspective by writing out the worst-case scenarios you’re imagining. Doing so allows you to identify or name your fears. You’ll often find that just shining a light on you what you’re fearing helps you either come up with solutions to mitigate your fear or realize that your fears are unfounded.

Fear is also very closely tied to your desire to control outcomes. Learning to fear less lies in your ability to let go of situations and be okay with uncertainty. I know, it’s easier said than done, but still very possible.

Learning to fear less is not about adopting a false sense of bravado. It’s about personal growth and allowing yourself to experience more of life.

So, set yourself on a path to fearing less. Learn to tamp down your anxiety by realizing that almost everything you fear is based upon your thoughts of an imagined outcome. Give yourself a chance to explore the opportunities that exist on the other side of fear.

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If you were struck with amnesia today, who would you be?

While I sincerely hope that you never suffer from any sort of memory loss, the question makes for an interesting thought experiment.

Everything you are today is tied to who you believe and think you are. But, if you were struck with amnesia, then your entire identity would be lost. You would still exist physically, but mentally, you’d be close to a blank slate. Imagine that. Your mind wiped clean and ready to be reprogrammed.

Where would you begin if you had the opportunity to reprogram your mind?

What would you add or eliminate?

I know this sounds a little farfetched but play along for a moment. Remember, it’s only a thought experiment.

By the way, if you’re hesitating or not willing to release yourself from reality for a moment or two, then that might be a trait you’d consider eliminating.

I’m asking you to play along with this thought experiment because I want you to experience how invested you are in your current identity. And bring to light the idea that you believe your current personality is carved in stone and cannot be changed.

But you can change. If you want to.

A quick personal note. At times I think change should be written like this, c-h-a-n-g-e. To emphasize that change is a process, and the dashes between the letters are steppingstones on the journey.

Pretending or adopting temporary amnesia is one way to create change in your life. You can ‘forget’ how you’ve responded in the past and try a different approach. Doing so will feel uncomfortable at first, but the discomfort is the feeling you’ll get when you’re on the dashes between the letters of change.

So, the next time you’re faced with a situation where you think you’d benefit from acting differently, consider forgetting how you’ve behaved in the past. Take a step in the direction of a new version of yourself, one that knows change is possible.

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How often do you ask yourself; I wonder what they meant when they said that?

The moment you ask yourself that question is when the stories begin.

What stories?

The stories where you begin to create your own narrative about what you think happened next.

Let me give you an example with this story prompt.

Once upon a time…

How many different directions can you take the prompt I gave you?

If you’re the creative type, there’s almost an infinite number of endings to the prompt. And if you don’t consider yourself to be creative, there are still numerous directions you can take the story.

The interesting thing about the story prompt is that I can ask you to make up a story and you’ll do so based on a variety of factors.

Here’s a shortlist that will influence your storytelling: your life experience, values, creativity, even the information and the media you’ve recently consumed. You’ll also create different stories based on the mood you’re in when I ask you.

So, back to my original question.

When you begin to wonder what a person meant by what they said, your mind begins to tell you stories. And while you might guess correctly, the probability of you doing so is extremely low. But, and in many cases, and unfortunately, you’ll begin to convince yourself that you think you know what they meant. And this is dangerous territory because then you act and respond according to what you think they said.

You respond to the story based upon your own assumptions – no evidence, just your mind in creative mode.

I share this with you because while it’s nearly impossible to stop creating stories about what you think a person meant by what they said, it is possible to remind yourself that your mind is doing its job by filling in the blanks of an unfinished story. What the person said is a version of, once upon a time.

So, the next time you find yourself thinking about what a person meant by what they said, take a moment to remind yourself that whatever you think next will be a story. It will be a story based on the factors I listed and many more. And you have a choice about which direction you want to take the story or make the decision not to assume and leave the story unfinished.

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Do you know what’s true about the lottery?

If you don’t play, you can’t win.

I know this sounds like I’m stating the obvious. But the reason I’m stating the obvious is that the same can be said about life.

If you don’t engage, participate, or play in life, then you can’t win.

The most significant difference between playing to win the lottery and winning in life is that the lottery has the same prize for everyone. In contrast, life’s rewards are different for each player.

Winning in life doesn’t necessarily mean medals, trophies, or even monetary gains. Although it could. Winning in life is more about how you feel.

Winning in life for you could be accomplishing goals, maintaining healthy relationships, helping other people, or any different number of things. You get to choose what makes you feel like a winner.

Feeling like a winner is all about you expressing your potential. It’s about you tapping into that part of you that only you know exists and is waiting to manifest from possibility to reality.

Here’s a great quote known as Man in the Arena by Theodore Roosevelt that encapsulates the idea of playing at life.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

So, ask yourself today if you’re playing at life or watching it go by. If you’re pursuing the things you want or selling yourself short. Remind yourself that life is like the lottery. If you don’t play, you can’t win.

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When was the last time you stepped away?

Away from what?

Away from the pressure and stress of daily life.

Before I continue, let me say that I understand stepping away is not a luxury everyone can afford, and there will be times when it’s not going to be an option.

Stepping away is not about leaving for days or weeks. It’s about taking a break. It’s about reconnecting with yourself. Think of it as a mental and, in some cases, physical reset.

You might have heard the joke or, in some cases, the truth, that if you’re having trouble with an electronic item such as a computer or TV, the best thing to do is to re-boot it. Well, think of stepping away as your own reboot.

I know the idea of stepping away might be difficult to digest, especially in today’s age of powering through and getting things done. Still, I can almost guarantee that even those that espouse those ideas take time to step away.

If the idea of stepping away doesn’t sit well with you, then let me reframe it to make it more palatable.

When you step away, you give yourself the opportunity to refresh and be even more productive when you return. You might even return with new perspectives that will enable you to be more effective.

Stepping away is not about running away from your problems. That’s rarely ever possible. It’s about admitting that you’re human. And if you know anything about humans, then you know that we’re not designed to always be on the go. In fact, our ancestors were more in tune with nature and behaved like animals in the sense that most of the day was spent at rest.

Learn to give yourself permission to step away. Leave it all behind for as long as you can, which could mean before something falls apart or breaks, or someone files a missing person report.

Look, I don’t want to end on a down note, but I want to give you some perspective. The reality is that one day, you and I will both step away forever, and the world will continue to revolve.

 So, for all the things you think won’t get done without you, maybe they will, and maybe they won’t. But at least while you’re here, step away and take time for yourself.

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What do you do when you’re faced with the opportunity to change or stay the same?

During the course of your life, you will encounter many opportunities to change or stay the same, and each time you will have to decide which path to follow.

Almost always, the easy answer will be to stay the same. While the answer might be easy, the consequences of staying the same might not be in your long-term best interests.

Change, of course, brings along its own set of challenges. Fear of the unknown, fear of criticisms, fear of failure, and fear of rejection from others are just a few that I can think of.

Just the thought of choosing between changing and staying the same can almost cause you to freeze and do nothing – but of course, you know doing nothing is staying the same in disguise.

Changing can be a long journey both externally and internally. Actually, if you lean in close, I’m going to let you into a little secret. Your internal journey of change never ends. Even if you reach specific externally defined goals and achievements, there will still be a part of you, albeit tiny, that will refuse to believe you’ve changed.

I want to clarify that staying the same is also a valid option. There’s no rule or requirement to change if you don’t’ want to. One warning, though, if you choose the stay the same, you will struggle as the world around you changes because you’ll continue to wish that everyone and everything else stays the same.

So, the choice is yours. Change or stay the same. Or do both. Go on the journey to change the things you don’t like about yourself, and keep aka, stay the same in the areas that are working for you.

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How often do you choose your own adventure?

If you’re familiar with the genre of choose your own adventure books, then you know that they’re based on decisions you get to make while reading the story. And how the story ends depends upon the choices you make.

Quick segue – if you’re not familiar with choose your own adventure books, I highly recommend you read one.

Choosing your own adventure is all about making decisions while being uncertain about the outcome. While this might sound unsettling, if you think about it, then you’ll quickly realize that only a tiny percentage of the decisions you make have guaranteed outcomes.

Choosing your own adventure is about intentionally stepping into the unknown – it forces you to pay attention. It’s about leaving the path of fictional guaranteed results and exploring new ways of being and doing.

When you lean into choosing your own adventure, you’ll begin to develop new skills, and your perspective of life and how you view the world around you will begin to change. And unlike the books, there’s no going back to where you started.

Choosing your adventure is not something I recommend you do daily because that would lead to a chaotic and unpredictable existence, and that wouldn’t be helpful for your mental or physical well-being. But it’s absolutely something I recommend you do on a regular basis, even if it means scheduling it on your calendar.

So, commit today to make time to choose your adventure. Start out small if you need to. Perhaps even something as harmless as driving an unfamiliar route or speaking with a stranger. Anything that you’re unprepared for and makes you a little nervous. Shift your life from the ho-hum of knowing what’s next to the oh wow, excitement of choosing your own adventure.

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How much time do you spend pursuing intangible assets?

It’s easy to get caught up focusing on or pursuing the tangible objects, but focusing on or improving your intangibles are just as, or, I’d argue, even more critical.

Before I go any further, let me provide a short definition of intangible. That which is unable to be touched or grasped; not having physical presence.

What intangible assets do you have?

Let’s start with your reputation. What is your reputation? Well, it’s what people say and think about you. It’s your personal brand.

How much influence do you have over your personal brand? Quite a lot. Of course, there will always be people that might not recognize you for who you are, and that’s okay, but for the most part, people will judge you by your words and actions.

Your friendships are also an intangible asset. While you might be able to count the number of friends you have, the depth and intimacy of your friendships will depend on how you treat other people. And while treating someone can’t be physically measured, it does register on an emotional scale.

The amount of knowledge and skill you accrue over your life can also be considered intangible assets. Sure, you might get a certificate or degree or two that validates your effort, but how much you know can never really be measured.

Your intangible assets are not only for your own personal gain. Love and appreciation are also intangible assets that you have an endless supply of, and you can and should share them as often as possible.

So, while pursuing the physical assets might provide you with a dopamine rush, you’ll soon find that once you’ve acquired the object of your desire, the rush quickly subsides. But when you work to improve your intangible assets, you will continue to reap the rewards over your entire lifetime.

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How often do you engage in wishful thinking?

When you hear the term wishful thinking, what comes to mind?

Wishful thinking has garnered a bad reputation as an activity you might engage in but to your detriment. Wishful thinking and its close cousin dream on are often used as pejoratives. Both suggest that what you’re thinking about or want to pursue will never come to fruition.

But I beg to differ. Perhaps, wishful thinking on my behalf.

I will agree that wishing for things to be different can cause you issues because you’re fighting against reality, but that’s not to say that things can’t be different in the future. And that’s where wishful thinking and dream-on can both be beneficial for you.

Wishful thinking can motivate you and move towards a better future because it requires a dose of optimism. Essentially, you begin to expect better outcomes.

For a moment, let’s think about how ingrained we are in wishful thinking.

What are you asked to do when you blow out candles on a birthday cake? That’s right, make a wish.

If you are fortunate enough to travel, you’ll find various forms of wishing wells all around the world. And some might even argue that wishes are also a form of prayer.

While the downside of wishful thinking is that it might not be grounded in today’s reality, who’s to say that what might not be considered valid or possible today won’t change and become true in the future.

So, I would highly recommend that while maintaining sure footing in the reality of today, you still spend some time engaging in wishful thinking. Think and dream about what’s possible for you tomorrow and beyond. And then find a way to turn your wishes into reality.

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When did you become a correctional officer?

Confused?

Let me ask the question differently.

When did it become your responsibility to correct people when you think they’re wrong?

Correcting others rarely wins any accolades or warm feelings towards you, especially when your corrections aren’t asked for. In fact, correcting someone can often lead to them feeling embarrassed or, even worse, defensive. And once their defenses are up, there’s little chance of you and your ideas getting through to them.

Of course, there is a time and place when it might be necessary to correct someone, especially if you see them on a path to self-harm or on the verge of committing an egregious error that might cause them to have severe repercussions. This kind of correction usually applies to children and those that are close to you and hopefully understand that you’re speaking from a place of good intentions.

If you really feel the need to correct someone, then remember, it’s always better to praise in public and criticize in private. And this rule applies in almost all cases.

Look, I know it isn’t easy to stay quiet when you know that you’re right about a specific idea or topic, but it’s not your job to correct others. If they ask your opinion, then, by all means, let them know your thoughts, but otherwise, keep them to yourself.

The world, if full of grey areas and what you might consider being correct today, could end up being incorrect tomorrow. And unless you’re personally involved in research and gathering data and statistics about a variety of subjects, then there’s a high probability that you, too, are quite often incorrect.

So, since correcting someone is challenging to accomplish politely and sensitively, maybe the next time you feel like doing so, don’t. Not because you don’t care, but because it’s not your job. Before I end, I want to point out that not correcting doesn’t mean you agree with them – it just means that you’re confident enough in your own views to let them be confident in theirs.

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How do you feel when the people around you begin to change?

Do you resent them?

Do you wish they stayed the same?

Dealing with any sort of change can be challenging, but when people around you, especially those that you’re close to, begin to change, it can feel even more daunting.

I know that you know change is a normal part of life. But it can affect how you experience your personal relationships when those close to change. When a person you’ve known for a while adopts a new behavior or behaves differently towards you, it destabilizes that part of your life. And this uncertainty can cause you to feel anger and resentment towards them. But you must realize that their change is not about you. It’s about them.

Let’s, for a moment, switch the shoe to the other foot.

How would you want or expect a person close to you to deal with a change you made in your life? Especially if you knew the change was good for you.

Would you want them to accept you for who you are or resent you for changing?

I believe you’d want them to extend the courtesy of allowing you to be who you are – as long your change doesn’t infringe on their freedom of being who they are.

Navigating shifts in relationships is never easy, and, at times, you must ask yourself what you’re looking for from both family and friends. Introspecting on your relationships might help you realize that people will be with you for different reasons and seasons. And that change is inevitable.

So, the next time you find yourself annoyed because a person close to you has changed, give them space. If their changing doesn’t harm you, then you can decide if you can accept them as they are. Hopefully, you will, and as you do, you might find that the next time you change, they’ll do the same for you.

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How does it feel to be a co-author?

Now you might be thinking that I have you mistaken for someone else and that you’re not an author. But I believe you are.

You see, you are the co-creator, or said differently, the co-author of your own life.

I say you’re the co-author because you have the opportunity to write most of your own life story. I’m using most as an easy out measure because some days it could be more, while other days you might be in a reactionary mode responding to challenges and demands beyond your control.

The challenge with accepting the fact you’re the co-author of your life is that you must acknowledge the role and responsibility you have in writing your life story. This can be a difficult pill to swallow because it’s easier sometimes to believe that you’re a victim of circumstance instead of an active participant.

Being a co-author of your life doesn’t require you to map out every day in minute detail, but it does require some long-term thinking. Similar to an author writing a book, fiction or non-fiction, there needs to be a plot or idea that the book coalesces around. The writing needs to be directionally correct.

Writing your story towards a life that is directionally correct allows you to detach yourself from the outcome. It also allows you to navigate the challenges and external demands you’ll inevitably face on your journey – aka, deal with fate – your co-author.

So, as you set out today, remind yourself that you are the co-author of your life and that regardless of what challenges you face, you can still choose to set yourself on a course that makes your life story the one you want to live and ultimately look back and read.

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Why should you learn to change your perspective?

Well, the good news is, if everything is going perfectly for you, then you don’t need to read any further.

However, if you’re curious about how changing your perspective can be beneficial for you, then let’s continue.

I want to get clear from the start that changing your perspective does not require you to change your mind. It’s about looking at situations from a different point of view. Of course, if you choose to change your mind after viewing a situation differently, that’s entirely up to you.

Learning to change your perspective is all about looking through a fresh pair of eyes and providing your mind the opportunity to think and perhaps even act differently in a given situation. It’s about breaking or at least interrupting your current pattern of thought. By the way, a quick side note. Almost all ‘ah ha’ moments are triggered by changes in perspective.

Changing your perspective can also move you from a position of weakness to power. Many times, when you feel weak and a victim of circumstances, it’s because you’re taking a passive approach to life, you’re being acted on, things are being done to you. However, you move from passive to active when you decide to view things differently. It’s a subtle shift, but your mind and body will begin to generate different responses to situations that might have once felt overwhelming.

Now for the difficult news. Changing your perspective takes effort. In fact, in a chicken and egg kind of sense, changing your perspective requires you to change your perspective.  You must be willing to act and think differently. It’s the hardest step – but well worth the effort.

So, the next time you feel overwhelmed or stuck in a situation, try to change your perspective. Uncover the fact that you’re not bound to your current way of thinking and that you can, if you choose to, change your perspective and ultimately change the way you experience life.

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How often do you encounter an opportunity to perform a good deed?

Maybe not even a good deed, but an opportunity to say a kind word or gesture.

When you are fortunate enough to come across an opportunity to perform a good deed or say a kind word, what do you do?

Do you act upon the opportunity, or do you let it slip away?

Look, I know you’re busy and caught up in all the commitments and tasks you must get through by the end of your day, but, fortunately for you, there’s still time in your schedule to squeeze in a good deed or two.

Acting on an opportunity to perform a good deed or say a kind word doesn’t take much time, and the good news is that studies show that you will benefit just as much, if not more, than the recipient of your action.

Here’s a quote that might be of interest to you.

“People who engage in kind acts become happier over time,” says Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside. “When you are kind to others, you feel good as a person — more moral, optimistic, and positive,” she says. Lyubomirsky has studied happiness for over 20 years.

And if feeling good isn’t enough of a motivator for you, then you might also like to know that researchers have also found a link between performing good deeds and living longer – “helping others reduced mortality specifically by buffering the association between stress and mortality.” So, you can, although I don’t recommend it, do good for strictly selfish reasons.

So, the next time you’re inspired or have the opportunity to perform a good deed or say a kind word, do it as soon as possible. Don’t wait until later, or when you think you’ll have more time because there never is more time. Oh, and one last thing. You’ll find that the more you practice doing good, the more opportunities to do good will come your way – which means you’ll feel more positive about your own life, and there’s even a chance you’ll live longer too.

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