How long does it take to change?

If you guessed forever because you paid attention to the heading of the blog post, then you’re correct.

But why does it take forever to change?

Well, maybe forever is a slight exaggeration on my behalf, but let’s break it down.

How much time do you have to spend directing a vehicle when driving a car, piloting a plane, or steering a boat?

The answer is, as long as the vehicle is moving, you must keep guiding it. Because, as you might know, if you take your hands and your attention off the vehicle, it will very quickly lose direction.

Before I go on, let me address the issue of autopilot that might be in the back of your mind. Autopilot or even autonomous vehicles replicate human behavior. The automation continuously evaluates the environment and makes the necessary adjustments to ensure the vehicle remains on course.

Change and life are very similar to guiding a vehicle.

For any kind of change to take lasting effect, you must pay constant attention. Because if you don’t, then soon enough, due to the gravitational pull of your natural tendencies, any change you’re seeking to make will, like a vehicle, veer, of course.

If the constant monitoring of change sounds to you like it requires a lot of energy, then you’re correct. But this is where my exaggeration of forever comes into play. Fortunately for you, a part of your brain is very similar to an autopilot. It’s where the power of habit resides.

Change is highly likely to become a habit if you stick with it long enough. How long is long enough? Long enough varies from individual to individual. Regardless of what you read, there is no magic timeline.

So, the next time you attempt to implement change in your life, approach it as if it will take forever. Be vigilant in maintaining the new direction you wish to take. You’ll find that if you stick with it long enough, then eventually you can turn the responsibility of monitoring the change to your autopilot, aka your new habit.

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What do you do for mental hygiene?

For dental hygiene, you brush your teeth.

For physical hygiene, you shower.

For your home hygiene, you have a cleaning routine.

But what do you do for your mental hygiene?

It’s unfortunate that mental hygiene doesn’t get taught in school or isn’t emphasized as important until adulthood, and even then, most people don’t engage in regular practice.

Mental hygiene should be prioritized as highly, if not more so, than physical health. Because what’s the point of being in excellent physical health if your mental state is in shambles.

Mental hygiene is about creating practices that help you maintain a healthy emotional balance and wellbeing. It’s not about avoiding or escaping emotions but improving your ability to navigate and better understand your emotional landscape.

So, how do you address your mental hygiene and clean up all the debris that builds up over time?

I’m glad you asked.

The first step is to bring awareness to your actions. I understand that this isn’t always possible, but periodically throughout your day, pay attention to how you’re feeling. Find moments during which you disengage from all inputs and mentally check in with yourself. Practicing regular check-ins with yourself allows you to learn and regulate your emotions.

Next is to learn to let things go. This applies to both tasks and people. When it comes to tasks, you only have a finite amount of time, so learning to prioritize between important and urgent will serve you well. And when it comes to people, carrying grudges or anger affects you as much as, if not more than, the people you’ve targeted with your emotions.

Lastly, and as hokey as it might seem, practice gratitude. Take note that I said practice, meaning, don’t wait for events to be grateful for; practice gratitude for what you already have.

While this is not an exhaustive list, it’s a great starting point for you to begin your mental hygiene journey. And yes, it’s a journey that requires consistent practice.

So, the next time you’re working on your dental or physical hygiene, perform a quick mental check-in and spend a few moments cleaning the part of you that matters the most.

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How motivated are you by rewards?

What would you do today if there wasn’t a reward?

No paycheck.

No grades.

No recognition.

No potential for promotion.

No external feedback whatsoever.

What I’m attempting to get to the bottom of is, what are you intrinsically motivated to do?

Why am I asking?

Because if you can tap into what you’re intrinsically motivated to do, then you’ve found one of the secrets to a fulfilled and meaningful life.

When you find activities that you enjoy doing, simply for the love of doing them and not for any external reward or recognition, you’ve tapped into the core of who you are.

The reality is that there are things you will do for external recognition and rewards regardless of how you feel about them because that’s part of the social contract of living in society. But the danger of external rewards is that they are ephemeral. And once you receive one, you very quickly search for the next one.

How do you discover what intrinsically motivates you?

Well, just like any other self-exploration, this requires time and introspection. It requires you to step off the treadmill of daily life and look inward. And while searching within yourself isn’t a requirement of life, it can be extremely rewarding.

So, as you go through your day today, spend some time looking inward. See if you can detach yourself from the continuous seeking of external rewards and experience fulfillment as you begin to explore what you’re intrinsically motivated to do.

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How do you feel when people around you succeed?

Do you feel genuine joy for them, or do you experience envy?

Seeing people around you win or get ahead of you in life can be challenging, especially if you let their success define your progress.

One of the reasons you might feel as though one person’s success is a threat to your own progress is that you might be experiencing zero-sum thinking. A part of you might believe that when one person wins, another must lose.

Zero-sum thinking is defined as if one person gains, another loses. And while this kind of thinking is true in sporting events and even in some other areas of life, it’s not a helpful way to go through life.

One of the reasons you might fall into the trap of zero-sum thinking is that you might be viewing life from a short-term gain perspective. And so, you feel the urgency to win or to get what you think you deserve now, in the moment.

Zero-sum thinking can be risky because it can cause you to act in ways that might be detrimental to long-term success. But you justify your behavior because you believe that if you don’t behave a certain way, you’ll lose or lose out.

There might be times in the short term when you will lose if you don’t take the necessary steps to accomplish a task or goal. And zero-sum thinking can be helpful in those circumstances. But life is about the long game.

In the long game of life, cheering, supporting, and even helping others win is much more beneficial for you and the community as a whole. Thinking and acting for the greater good requires you to shift from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance. It requires you to realize that only in very limited circumstances is one person’s gain your loss.

So, the next time you hear of see someone that you feel as though is moving ahead in life at a faster pace than you are, cheer for them and wish them well. Remind yourself that their gain doesn’t take away your ability or opportunity to progress and that life is not a zero-sum game.

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How do you build and develop confidence?

Obviously, the level of confidence between individuals varies widely. Some people are genetically predisposed to more confidence while others have less.

But are ways to increase your confidence.

One way to increase your confidence is to practice courage. You practice courage by intentionally stepping out of your comfort zone and exposing yourself to events and situations that cause you anxiety and even fear.

Let me caveat by saying that I am not recommending you put yourself in harm’s way, mentally or physically.

There are ways that you can relatively safely put yourself in physically and mentally challenging situations but have a high probability of causing you no immediate harm.

Take bungee jumping, for example. When a person leaps from the top of a bridge or crane strapped to a large bungee cord, their body experiences all the sensations of a free fall that could lead to severe injuries or even death in any other circumstance. The anxiety and fear are real and must be overcome before they leap.

You don’t have to start by participating in bungee jumping or any other physical activity that might seem extreme to you to build your confidence. For you, it could be baby steps, simple, out-of-the-norm activities that help increase your level of confidence.

Maybe for you, something simple, like talking to strangers or driving an unknown route, any action that causes you to feel a little anxious is a good place to start. And who knows, with enough time and baby steps, you might end up at the end of a bungee cord.

The wonderful thing about building confidence is that it’s a transferable skill. While not transferable to all situations, it does enable you to turn down your anxiety response.  

So, the next time you find yourself getting anxious about a situation, instead of avoiding it, recall another time when you practiced courage. Use that feeling to remind you of what you’re capable of and to increase your confidence as you take on the new challenge.

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How do you deal with competing impulses?

If you’re not sure what competing impulses are, then let me give you an example.

It’s currently 5:15 am, and I’m writing this blog post. There’s a part of me that would rather be sleeping in my nice warm bed, but there’s also a part of me that has committed to writing this blog. I’m challenged with competing impulses.

Here are a couple of competing impulses that might resonate with you.

Saving instead of spending money today for financial security in the future.

Eating healthy instead of indulging in unhealthy food today so that you can reap the benefits of good health in the future.

If winning the battle over competing impulses sounds like short-term pain for long-term gain, you’re correct.

But it’s more than just short-term pain.

It’s about identity.

It’s about you making a decision about the kind of person you want to be and then committing yourself to the future version of yourself.

Let me be clear. Committing yourself to a future version of yourself is not easy, and this is especially true if you’re surrounded by people that not only see you as you are but are also comfortable with who you are.

The people that see you as you currently are and the comfort of your readily available choices are the gravitational pull that, if you let them, will keep you from becoming the person you want to be.

Every time you’re faced with competing impulses, you must make a decision, and the decision is based on one question.

What kind of person do you want to be?

This is a personal question, and only you can answer it. And there is no right or wrong answer.

So, the next time you’re faced with the dilemma of competing impulses, think about the person you want to be. If you’re okay with who you are, then challenge avoided, carry on. But, if it’s change you’re seeking, then leverage the future version of you to pull you out of your current state, and move you one step closer to your ideal identity.

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How often would you give yourself a grade of an A for effort?

Effort towards what?

Good question.

What area of your life do you want to change or improve?

One definition of the word effort is the conscious exertion of power.

Conscious exertion.

Conscious exertion means you think about it, and then you apply yourself. It doesn’t mean that you muddle your way through another day, hoping things will be different.

Of course, no one expects you to exert conscious effort all the time because that would be exhausting both mentally and physically. But when needed, you sprint, aka apply max effort, then rest and repeat as necessary.

Applying effort is more about building an identity than results. While results are important, there are times when they are out of your control. But being the kind of person that can harness your own energy and point it in a direction for a specific amount of time is a skill you can use throughout your life.

Now there’s the question of grading your effort. The bad and good news about grading your effort is that it’s internal to you. So, only you will know if you’ve applied your best effort, and if you don’t, there’s no one to fool but yourself. And that’s very important to know because ultimately, life is not about how others perceive you but how you feel about yourself.

So, the next time you’re considering changing or improving an area of your life, think about how much effort you’re willing to exert. Hopefully, at the end of the sprint, you’ll be able to look back and see that you deserve an A for the effort you applied.

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How does it feel to be a human for the first time?

Is it confusing, exciting, exhilarating, intimidating?

If you’re similar to most ‘normal’ people, then I’m sure you too have and are experiencing a wide range of emotions regularly. And like everyone else, you’re navigating the vagaries of life for the first time.

So, since it’s your first time being human, what do you expect from yourself?

Do you think you should have the solution to every problem that life gives you?

Do you feel as though you must get life right?

If you do, then let me help alleviate your burden of getting life right.

Even though life is a shared experience, and we all share the same destination, each person must still embark on their own journey. And while journeys might look similar on the outside, internally, every person is experiencing life differently.

Going through life is not anything like starting a new job or acquiring a new skill where you get better with time. Life is much more complicated. At least when it comes to work, after a while, you learn the terrain, and while there might be unexpected events, they’re still siloed.

Life, on the other, comes to from all directions. Just when you feel as though you have a firm grasp of one area of life, you might be caught off guard with something you never imagined could occur. And it will be just one more in a long line of first-time human experiences in life.

While there might be examples of how to handle first-time experiences, there’s really no one size fits all handbook that works for every situation. And so, you must figure it out as you go along, working your way through the emotional highs and lows.

So, the next time you encounter a first-time experience that throws your life a little off-balance, show yourself some grace. Remind yourself that it’s your first time being a human, and just like every other time before, you will figure out how to get through it.

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Is it possible to take your time, to hurry up?

I used to have a boss many years ago that would say to me, “take your time to hurry up,” and as a teenager, I never quite understood what he meant. And then, much later in life, I heard the phrase, go slow to go fast.

My boss from way back when wasn’t very good with words, but he was great at business. I would watch him meticulously stock his convenience store, and even cleaning was art for him. He worked at an energetic clip, and it’s only in retrospect do I realize that each one of his actions was, at first, deliberate and slow until he built a level of comfort and mastery that allowed him to move faster.

Why am I sharing this with you?

Because it’s easy to get caught up in the idea of mastering a skill, but not possible until you truly understand the basic steps, the fundamentals that allow you to become a master.

In this context, being a master doesn’t mean you are the best. It’s more about you being your best. It’s about you developing any skill that is of interest to you.

Goings slow at first can be difficult because you’re full of enthusiasm and want to be good or even great, but rarely can you escape the process of becoming masterful. Yes, there are exceptions, individuals that are prodigies or are naturally gifted and talented. But if you observe them long enough, you’ll find that even they have to work on the basics to maintain their mastery.

So, the next time you think about acquiring a new skill or talent, remember, going slow to go fast will get you to a high level of competence or mastery much quicker than just going fast.

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What will you choose to focus on today?

That’s right. You have a choice.

Well, that’s not entirely true.

I know I sound like I’m backpedaling, but I’m doing so for the sake of clarification.

I wholeheartedly agree that you can’t go through your entire day choosing what to focus on because it would be mentally exhausting, plus your brain isn’t designed for that kind of activity. But you can choose to re-direct your attention.

Why is re-directing your attention important?

Because energy flows where attention goes. By the way, I would love to credit this pithy yet powerful phrase to the person who said it, but there are too many people that lay claim to it.

Re-directing your attention is all about choosing what you want to focus on. It’s like shining a flashlight in a dark room and only seeing the object where the beam of light lands. Just because you can only see what the light lands on doesn’t mean everything else disappears. They just fade away in the darkness.

Re-directing your attention doesn’t mean you should ignore the realities of life. Because, as I illustrated in the flashlight example, what is real doesn’t disappear. But you don’t have to focus on them all the time, especially if they’re disempowering.

Your ability to re-direct your attention is powerful for a couple of reasons.

First, you can use it to notice and appreciate all that’s good and going well in your life. This is especially helpful when it feels as though nothing is working for you and life seems to be an uphill battle. Taking inventory of the simple yet often underappreciated things like good health and supportive relationships are examples of re-directing your attention.

A second example is not losing sight of the bigger picture. It’s easy to get mired in the daily grind that everyday life can sometimes seem to be. But your ability to lift your head and re-direct your attention toward your bigger goals can help you endure today because you view it as a stepping stone to a better future.

So, now that you know you have a choice, what will you choose to focus on today? Hopefully, you’ll leverage the power of your attention and shine your light not only on what you already have but also on where you want to go.

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How often do you misinterpret facts and your opinion?

One of the rules of journalism is objectivity. This means a journalist should learn to report on the facts of a situation, not their opinion about what occurred.

As you can probably guess, this kind of unbiased reporting is challenging because all actions and experiences are evaluated through the eyes of the beholder.

Now, while you might not be a journalist, learning to view situations through a journalistic lens can be quite beneficial for you. Your ability to separate facts from your opinion has the potential to alleviate much heartache.

But how do you develop an objective, journalistic view of life?

The best way is to ask, is this true? And then, very quickly, follow up with how do I know?

If you don’t have a concrete answer after asking the preceding questions, you know you’re skating on thin ice, and you’re probably infusing a situation with your opinion. You are very quickly moving from fact to fiction.

The not-so-funny thing is that, to some extent, we are all living in our fictitious worlds. Worlds where we all create our own narrative about what we think is happening. And that’s okay, except for when it begins to cause problems.

You can see the problems coming when you begin to guess what you think someone said versus what they said or what you think might have occurred in a particular situation versus what really happened.

When you find yourself working to over-interpret a conversation or event is when you’re most likely to lose journalistic integrity.

Now, it goes without saying that there’s absolutely no need for you to act or think like a journalist, and you can go through life just fine interpreting events as you see fit. But, if you do, then you’ll also leave yourself open to falling prey to emotional highs and lows based on your subjective view of events versus a feeling of calmness that comes with an objective viewpoint.

So, the next time you’re faced with a situation that’s causing you stress, and you find yourself overthinking it, be like a journalist and ask, what are the facts? Once you untangle the facts from fiction, then hopefully, you’ll alleviate yourself from some heartache by coming to a conclusion that’s as close to the truth as you can get.

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What’s on your agenda for today?

The same old same?

The rinse and repeat of another day.

If you let it, life can very quickly become monotonous. And that’s okay because there’s nothing inherently wrong with monotony. Many people find comfort and safety in the predictability and routine of monotony. If you’re one of those people, then you can save time by not reading any further.

However, if you’re feeling stagnant because of your monotonous routine, then what are you going to do about it?

Yes, breaking out of a daily rut is your responsibility.

Did you think I was going to do it for you?

Okay, fine. I’ll give you a few suggestions, but you’ll have to do the work.

One way to break the monotony is to step way out of your comfort zone. Find an activity or identify a challenge that is foreign to your everyday routine. When you do this, you’ll find that your heightened sense of anticipation and, in some cases, fear will force you to act differently.

Another way to break monotony is to associate with different people. Break away from your current network of friends and associates and actively seek out people you wouldn’t normally interact with. Again, being around different people will allow you to be different.

And my last suggestion is a planned adventure. This doesn’t have to be weekly or daily, but plan an activity that draws you away from your daily routine at least once a month. Your activity doesn’t have to be expensive or require intense planning. It could be as simple as exploring a local walking trail that you’ve never visited.

So, if you’re tired of the monotonous and mundane routine of everyday life, instead of complaining or suffering through it, break free from it. Find ways to infuse your life with adventure and excitement. Remember what I said earlier, breaking out of your rut is your responsibility.

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Why do pilots use autopilot?

Is it because they’re lazy and want to do less work?

No.

Autopilot was invented for a couple of reasons. One reason is that pilots that were flying long distances were struggling with fatigue, and over time this became dangerous as performance would decline. The second is that autopilot allows pilots to focus on other aspects of flying, such as monitoring weather and other parts of the aircraft.

So, why am I writing about autopilot?

Because there’s a great parallel that can be drawn between autopilot and habits.

You see, autopilot assists the pilot in reaching their destination, but the pilot can override the system at any time. Well-constructed habits can do the same for you.

There isn’t much difference between attempting to reach a physical destination and working towards a long-term goal. Establishing habits that help you accomplish your goals is akin to having your personal autopilot.

The benefit of implementing habits to help you reach your goals are similar to the benefits the pilot enjoys from having access to an autopilot. You can avoid the fatigue of constantly thinking about the actions you have to take to reach your goals, and you can focus on the other areas of your life.

For example. If saving money is important to you, then an automated habit of depositing a fixed amount of money into a savings account regularly is a habit to consider. And, like the pilot, you can override or change the habit on an as-needed basis. 

Well thought out and intentionally implemented habits can provide you with the freedom you can’t really understand until you experience their power.

So, think about some habits that can help you move along the journey towards your goals. Use them as your autopilot and free up your mind and time to focus on and enjoy other areas of life.

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How often do you look at yourself in a mirror?

If you’re like most people, I’d guess at least once a day, if not more.

When you do look at yourself in a mirror, what are you looking for?

Are you looking to ensure you approve of how you look or to notice any changes that might have occurred?

While looking in a mirror might inform you of your physical appearance and well-being, it tells you nothing about your mental well-being. And that’s okay because, after all, Sleeping Beauty only asked, “mirror mirror who is fairest of them all?”

But, I’d argue that your mental health and appearance are just as, if not more important than your physical appearance, which leads to my next question.

How often do you check in on your mental state?

Do you check in with yourself at least once a day?

It’s easy to get lost in your physical appearance because, after all, it’s tangible and easy to recognize and compare, and perhaps more important to some, it’s what others can see. But having a beautiful, healthy body will only take you so far, especially if you have a poor mental state.

Now I’m not suggesting you obsess over your mental state the way some might over their physical appearance, but I recommend you make time daily to reflect upon mental well-being.

Checking in on your mental state shouldn’t take long. Just a few moments of time throughout your day when you can tune in to how you’re feeling about yourself. Asking yourself a few probing questions, and if you’re an overachiever, you can even jot your answers down.

My goal of asking you to evaluate your mental health isn’t to add any more work to your already full plate. It’s to remind you that there’s more to you than your body.

So, while looking in a mirror to ensure that your physical appearance looks acceptable or good to you, don’t forget to also check in with your mental state. After all, we both know that beauty and good looks wane over time, but your mind will always be with you.

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What’s your best guess as to what will happen in the next moment or two?

Will you continue reading this blog post?

Will you step away and do something different?

I asked about your best guess because that’s what you’re doing all day long. You’re taking your best guess as to what will happen next. And it’s not just you. We’re all doing it.

What exactly is a guess?

Well, it’s a prediction based in many cases on imperfect information. Unless, of course, you’re a mathematician using concrete evidence to work on problems all day long. But the majority of us aren’t mathematicians, so we’re all operating on best guesses.

So, why am I asking about your predictions?

Because in your mind, your predictions become self-fulfilling prophecies – they become your reality.

Please re-read the previous sentence.

Your guesses, aka your predictions, very quickly become fossilized in your mind, and you believe them to be true. And then you navigate the world according to your best guesses.

Navigating the world based on your predictions is natural and easy, but it also primes you to behave according to what you think might happen versus what’s really happening. Or said more eloquently by Anais Nin, “You do not see the world as it is. You see it as you are.”

Now there’s nothing inherently wrong with seeing the world as you are except that it confines you to thinking and acting in a very limited manner. Constantly believing in and relying on your predictions of what will happen next might feel safe, but it minimizes creativity and opportunities for personal growth.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting that you stop relying on your model of how you see the world. Obviously, if you’re reading this, then whatever actions you’ve taken based on your best guesses has kept you alive, and hopefully well. All I’m recommending is that occasionally, you allow yourself to second guess your best guess. Change the way you think about what will happen next and watch how the world changes around you.

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Will you learn to leverage or be a victim of creeping normality?

If you’re not familiar with the concept of creeping normality, then let me help you.

“Creeping normality is a process by which a major change can be accepted as normal and acceptable if it happens slowly through small, often unnoticeable, increments of change. The change could otherwise be regarded as remarkable and objectionable if it took place in a single step or short period.” (Wikipedia)

Let’s look at a couple of concrete examples of creeping normality.  

Imagine for a moment you enjoy a daily alcoholic nightcap. It begins with one drink every evening just to relax you from the burden of your day. But then, slowly but surely, you begin to venture down the slippery path to two, three, or as many drinks as you need to leave your day behind. You are now a victim of creeping normality.

Now for the second thought experiment.

Imagine you want to increase the amount of money you want to save. You can always begin with considerable lump sum savings, but you might be intimidated, or your finances might not be a position for you to do so. Here’s where you can leverage creeping normality, by starting small, just enough to create a habit, until saving money becomes your new normal.

If the concept of creeping normality sounds to you like the road to creating habits, then you’re spot on. It’s just that sometimes, at first glance, the actions you take might not look like habits. They appear to be normal, everyday behavior. And you don’t realize you’ve adopted a new habit until you’re knee-deep in it.

So, learn to be vigilant to the concept of creeping normality. Avoid becoming a victim of it and learn to leverage it to become the person you want to be.

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How often do you revert to mediocrity?

If you’re confused, then let me clarify.

In statistics, reversion to the mean or reversion to mediocrity is the phenomenon that arises if a sample point of a random variable is extreme (nearly an outlier), in which case a future point is likely to be closer to the mean or average.

In everyday language, this means that if you do something outstanding or outside of your norm, then eventually, you’ll revert to the average you.

Why am I sharing a statistical phenomenon with you?

I’m sharing because the phenomenon of reversion to average will be your biggest challenge if you’re attempting to improve any area of your life.

For example, you might commit to improving your health, and so for a set amount of time, you increase the amount of exercise you do and pay very close attention to your food intake. This kind of behavior is an outlier for you, but then, over time, you begin to revert to your mean.

Why does this occur, and how to prevent it?

It occurs because your commitment is temporary, and the way to prevent it is to change your average or setpoint.

Battling reversion to mean is like fighting gravity. No matter how hard you try to escape it, its force will always be present. And that means if you want to change any area of your life, you must be constantly vigilant of its presence.

While the idea of reversion to the mean might seem disheartening, knowing the phenomenon exists is beneficial for you. Before Newton, humans knew that objects fell to the ground, but they didn’t know why. Once he defined the law of gravity, humans could account for it and, as flight and space travel has shown, even escape it.

So, when you attempt to make any changes in your life, don’t forget to account for and don’t fall prey to the phenomenon of reversion to the mean. Exert the additional effort required to change your setpoint average and continue to push forward towards lasting change.

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Do you know the two biggest influences in your life?

If you’re thinking people, then you’re correct. But what specifically about people?

Entire industries have and are making trillions of dollars of revenue on these two pillars.

The two pillars are what other people are doing and what other people have.

These two pillars tap into your human emotions of curiosity and envy. And no matter how much you feed these emotions, they are rarely satisfied.

Think about social media for a moment. The entire industry relies on these two pillars. And the more time you spend on these platforms, the more you’re influenced by what others are doing and what they have.

Advertising is also an obvious candidate for these two pillars. It’s all about showing you what others have and are doing so that you too develop the desire to be like them. Or said another way, monkey sees, monkey do.

You see, one of the definitions of monkey see, monkey do is that it implies the act of imitation, usually with limited knowledge and or concern for the consequences. And this definition is almost a perfect fit for advertising and social media because when you avail yourself to both, you do so with limited knowledge. Very rarely are you privy to the backstory of any individual or products that you’re viewing.

Now there’s nothing inherently wrong with imitating others, and we all do it to some extent, primarily because we can’t help it. Humans, like primates, use imitation as one of our survival techniques. In fact, in some cases, the more we imitate, the more we are endeared by ‘our tribe.’ But the problem with over imitating is that eventually, you lose touch with who you are because you spend all your energy trying to be everyone else.

Ultimately, you have a choice as to how you want to spend your time. Inherently there’s nothing wrong in spending your time feeding your curiosity and stoking your envy by looking at what other people are doing and what they have. But the more time you spend doing so, the more you’ll desire to be like them, and the result of that is, the less you’ll be who you really are.

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Did you know that there’s an equation for success?

Well, maybe not an equation because I’m sure there are many based upon your personal idea and definition of success. But there is one that you can use as a practical tool or guide towards your idea of success.

Daniel Kahneman, Nobel Prize winner in Economics equation for success is success = talent + luck.

Let’s look at each component of the equation.

What is talent?

Talent is defined as your natural aptitude or skill.

If you’ve already discovered your talent, then great, skip this blog post and make better use of your time.

However, if you haven’t yet discovered your talent, then keep reading.

Finding or uncovering your natural talent can be a difficult proposition. Especially since early education and social norms almost force you to remain within an acceptable box. Unless, of course, you’re an athlete because then you’re encouraged to shine.

But don’t despair. Even if your talent has been stifled as you move through the system, you still have an entire lifetime ahead of you to bring it to life. However, you must be willing and committed to doing so.

One of the best ways to discover your talent is to feel what you’re naturally drawn towards. You’ll have to avoid many of the distractions and mind-numbing temptations of daily life so that you can turn your focus inwards and pay attention to yourself. This will take some time and introspection, but if it’s success you’re seeking, it’s well worth the effort.

Once your talents begin to reveal themselves, then begin to work on them, even if it’s only in your spare time. Remember, you’re playing the long game of success in life, so don’t be disheartened by short-term mishaps.

As you work on your talents, keep this quote in the back of your mind, “the harder I work, the luckier I get.”

This leads us nicely to the luck part of the equation. Luck has been defined as preparation meeting opportunity.

This is great news for you. Because if you spend your time working and honing your natural abilities, then you are in the mode of continuous preparation, so when the opportunity presents itself, you will be ready.

So, if success in life is something you’re interested in, then maybe use this equation as a tool. Work to discover and then enhance your natural talents and then take advantage of the luck, aka. Opportunities presented to you.

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How often in life do you take the scenic route?

You’ve probably heard that in life and even as you progress towards goals, it is all about the journey and not the destination, but do you pause to enjoy the journey, or do you just plow ahead?

Indulging yourself in taking the scenic route is not about being lazy or wandering without direction. It’s about meandering and appreciating all there is along the way.

In today’s world of easily available GPS, so much adventure and fun have been stripped out of almost all journeys. You enter your destination, and bam, you get the quickest, most efficient route. And while there’s a time and place for efficiency, it also removes any sense of wonder.

Oh, and just a side note regarding the GPS. Unless you’re extremely familiar with all the nuances of the area you’re in, you are relying on someone else’s opinion, all be it in algorithm form, for the best route to take. And, if you’re like most, you don’t take the time to verify whose best interest the algorithm is written for. It could be you or the McDonalds you pass on the way to your destination.

The analog versions of the GPS are tight schedules and college and life plans that supposedly get you to your goals as efficiently as possible. And while I’m not against planning, I don’t recommend you become so goal-focused that you develop tunnel vision and miss all the beauty available to you on your journey.

One of the major factors of mid-life crisis is the feeling of remorse. Individuals feel they missed out on life and wish that they had spent more time with family and friends and slowed down instead of being obsessed with their career or goal-driven. They wish, to some extent, that they had taken the scenic route.

So, the next time you find yourself scheduled from dawn to dusk or obsessed with the most efficient way to get through life, pause for a moment and consider slowing down. Yes, you might experience delays in reaching your destination or goals, but you’ll also reap the benefits of taking the scenic route.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.