When is suffering easier?

The idea of suffering being easy is probably not something you’re used to thinking about, but it’s true for so many.

You see, suffering can sometimes be easy because change is hard.

So many suffer in poor health, bad relationships, spiritual emptiness, and other areas of life because it’s easier than doing the work required to create change in their lives.

Suffering is easier for some because there are endless factors, both external and internal, that can be blamed for the suffering. However, if the decision is made to change, then the responsibility shifts from things that can’t be controlled to something that can, and this can be a huge burden.

If there’s something you’re suffering through just because it’s become easier to do so, then perhaps now’s a good time to re-evaluate.

The idea of change might seem daunting at first, but you don’t have to go all in at once. Instead, you can ease into it at your own pace. And if you decide at some point that you don’t like the change, you can always go back to the ease of suffering.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

What’s holding you back?

If you can read and understand this blog post.

If you can perform simple arithmetic.

If you can get out of bed.

You’re already halfway there.

There are high school dropouts running billion-dollar companies.

There are illiterate individuals who create amazing works of art.

There are individuals with physical limitations that accomplish amazing feats, such as a blind person climbing Mount Everest.

These people don’t focus on their limitations; they focus on what’s possible.

If I asked you to play the drums, even without any official training, you know what the basic moves are. You’d probably take the drumsticks and start beating the drums, and that’s the first 50% of playing the drums.

If I asked you to start a business, you’ve been in and around enough businesses to know the basic premise. Now you just have to learn the details.

So learn to remove your internal limitations and view yourself in a new light.

Almost anything you want to do, you’re already halfway there and have an understanding of the basic concepts. All you need to do is fine-tune and learn the other half.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

What is Systems Engineering?

The official definition is “an interdisciplinary field of engineering and engineering management that focuses on how to design and manage complex systems over their life cycles.”

Now that’s a fancy definition.

All business organizations, at their core, are the same. They are all in business to make a profit. And they share many similar basic systems and functions but then use systems engineering to customize and optimize to best suit their organization.

People are also the same from a DNA and functional perspective, but there’s customization when they find what works best for the individual.

So how does this apply to you?

Well, you’re a complex system, and you need to learn to manage yourself over your own life cycle.

If you want to accomplish anything, you need a system to do so. Of course, now you can get things done in an ad-hoc, loose format, but even that is a system.

An effective system is one that works for you.

STOP. Read the previous statement again.

Now you can adopt some elements of other people’s systems, but there’s always going to be a degree of customization based on your own individual personality.

As your own system engineer, you need to be able to identify your weaknesses so that you can best accommodate for them and your strengths so that you can leverage them quickly.

So awaken your inner engineer and start engineering systems that you can use to design a life customized just for you.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

Shhhhhh.

Can you hear that?

It’s your mind.

What’s it saying?

What is that little voice in your head up to?

Is it on your side or against you?

Is it telling you all the things you can do, or is it saying, ‘you can‘t do that?’

Does it whisper, ‘they’re watching you,’ so you better not mess up, or does it say, ‘they’re always going to watch you, so go ahead and give it your best shot?’

The little chatterbox in your head will never go away. Sometimes it might seem as though it’s gone quiet, but it’s just waiting for the right opportunity to speak up. And you already know when that is, right when you’re about to ‘step out of line.’

So how should you handle the voice in your head?

You should recognize it, appreciate it for its input, and then decide what you want to do.

If what it’s saying moves you towards the kind of person you want to be and the life you want to live, then great, but if not, remind it that you’re in control.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

Do you have a role model?

Is there someone that you look up to or try to emulate?

When you’re looking at someone as a role model, you’re more than likely admiring the results they’ve created for themselves.

If you ask people about role models, many will rattle off the names of famous people, yet the majority of the best role models will be everyday people that very few people have heard of.

Having a role model can be wonderful, but it can also be tricky. Once you see someone in a particular light, you tend to focus on their one or two outstanding traits that you admire. However, if they falter in other areas of their life, it can be disheartening for you.

Modeling another person’s behavior is also extremely tricky and almost impossible because their genetic makeup is unique. However, you can find ways to create similar results in your life by watching them and leveraging your unique traits.

Choose your role models carefully, and don’t forget their journeys are always different than yours. And keep in mind that you, too, someday might have the responsibility of being a role model for someone else.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

Have you ever seen a tree grow?

You see trees around you, and you know they grow, but you never see them do so.

How much time would you give a tree to grow to its full height and width until all the branches fill out to their full potential?

What about you?

How much time do you need to reach your full potential?

When do you think you stop growing, not physically but mentally?

When do the branches of your mind stop being able to learn or generate new ideas?

Science has proven that, barring any medical condition, you can continue to grow new brain cells even into old age.

Your potential to learn is only limited by you.

Yes, it might take you longer than someone else to learn, but that’s okay. If you’re committed and can reconcile that learning is an individual skill and should not be viewed as a race, then you can learn anything you want to.

Don’t worry about how old you are or who’s ahead of you or behind you. If you want to learn something, then step and go for it. Every time you put your head down to study, the branches in your brain are growing, and just like the tree, you can’t see them doing so.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

How did we get here?

No, not just me and you. I mean all of us.

We walked.

That’s right. From the earliest days of evolution through current civilization, we humans got here by walking.

Now I could go into the numerous health benefits of walking, but you’ve probably heard them all before, or if you haven’t, you can research them on your own. What I’m talking about are the emotional and mental benefits.

Many great people have recommended and praised walking as one of their keys to success. It’s been shown to promote creative thinking and provide emotional benefits too.

Many great ideas have been credited to taking a walk. And I’m guessing it’s because taking a walk to think removes you from your current environment, provides your brain with much-needed fresh air, and allows you to change your perspective.

Another tremendous yet obvious fact about walking is that almost anyone can do it. You don’t need special equipment or clothing and can do it anywhere.

So the next time you find yourself stuck on a problem or perhaps in a swirl of emotions that are draining your brain, don’t just sit there and stew in your mind. Instead, get up, get out and take a walk.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

Are you an emotional vending machine?

Do people know exactly which one of your buttons to push in order to get you to react?

It doesn’t need to be this way.

In fact,  you can surprise them by changing your emotions in the same way vending machines can be re-stocked with different merchandise.

Your emotional responses are something you’ve adapted over time. At some point in your life, you decided that if A happened, you would respond with B. And maybe this kind of behavior served you well at one point in life because it allowed you to protect yourself or get ahead.

But what if it’s no longer beneficial?

What if your emotional reactions are now eroding your relationships or no longer working in your best interest?

If you’re tired of people pushing your buttons, or if your emotional reactions are no longer serving you well, then it’s time for you to change your emotional inventory.

Try it for a few days and see what happens. Of course, if you don’t like it, you can always re-stock your old emotional responses.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

Have you ever experienced this moment in time before?

Will you ever experience it again?

Any challenges or problems you’re currently experiencing are unique to your circumstances and the moment you are experiencing them. And this applies to everyone.

Everyone is figuring it out as they proceed along their own journeys.

At times it might look as though other people have it all figured out, but they don’t.

New solutions to problems that never existed and new ideas are continuously being generated to cope and attempt to keep up with new challenges. This is how life works.

Some might tell you that they have the answers to your problems but what they have is the answers to the problems they were able to solve in their past.

This is not to say that seeking advice is bad. It’s just that you can’t expect it to always work for you.

Your situation is always unique, regardless of what you might hear or think.

So take comfort in knowing you’re not the only one stumbling through life and making it up as you go along. No one really has life figured out, and that’s what makes it interesting.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

What about are you being sold and told can be perfect?

Your body?

Your mind?

Your relationships?

Your career?

What does perfect look like, and according to whom?

The ideas of perfection change with time. Things that might be considered perfect today in one society can very well be shunned by another.

If you continue chasing someone else’s view of perfection, then all you will see are imperfections in your life. And the reality is that they aren’t imperfections. They are just part of life.

If you really feel the need to be perfect in one area of life, then I suggest you choose to be perfectly kind. At least then, there’s a minimal downside, and in doing so, people might begin to think you’re perfect.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

Who do you think you’d like to be more like?

Who would you like your spouse or kids to emulate?

Who are your ‘heroes’?

Perhaps you admire someone that has made a lot of money, is a champion athlete, a great business person, or a great performer. The problem is that when you see that individual’s success, you only see one tiny glimpse of who they are.

How often do you hear about a celebrity or someone you admire that’s fallen from grace, and you’re surprised or even disappointed?

Wishing or wanting to be like someone else is a tricky proposition because your judgments are based upon what you think they’re like and not in their reality.

Focusing on only one sliver of an individual distorts your view of the entire picture. It’s like the old adage that if you stand really close to an elephant, you wouldn’t know it’s an elephant because you’d be too close to see the entire animal.

It’s great to admire talented individuals but then turn your attention back on yourself. Develop your own character by working on yourself. Learn to be the hero of your own story.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

How far do you go to seek the approval of others?

What aspects of your own personality do you sacrifice to be accepted by others?

You do an injustice to yourself and the world every time you silence who you are in lieu of approval from others.

You are unique, and a large part of your uniqueness is how you express yourself. So don’t suffocate your own personality just to fit in.

It can be difficult sometimes to be yourself, but eventually you will find that doing so gives you a sense of power that you won’t find if you’re always trying to be what you think others want you to be.

Seeking approval is deep in your DNA and goes back to the days when individuals were ostracized from tribes if they didn’t behave a certain way. And being unaccepted back then meant almost certain death. But today, it doesn’t.

The fact is that it is easier than ever to find people that will accept you for who you are. They will be drawn to you because you have the courage to stand up and say this is who I am.

So don’t diminish who you are because you want the approval of others. Instead, be more of you and approve of yourself.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

Are you afraid to focus?

I know this sounds a little ridiculous initially, but think about it for a moment.

When was the last time you were able to shut out the world and focus for an hour or two?

Now, if your job requires you to be on-call, being unreachable is obviously unacceptable while on duty, but what about off duty?

Stepping away from the world for a short period of time requires a degree of strength because there are two questions that your brain is constantly asking.

What’s happening in the world, and what if someone needs me?

And either one of these questions can cause you to have an amount of underlying anxiety.

The truth is that you will never always know what’s happening in the world. And the good thing is that you don’t need to know all that’s happening.

And fortunately, if someone needs you urgently enough in today’s world, it’s easy for them to find a way to get a hold of you.

Learning to shut out distractions and honing your ability to focus on the task at hand will increase your productivity, ultimately allowing you more time for other things in your life.

So stop being afraid to focus. Someone will be sure to tell you if the world is about to end.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

What make of car do you drive?

Why?

What brand of clothes do you wear?

Why?

Which college did you attend?

Why?

What kind of work do you do?

Why?

What religion are you?

Why?

What race are you?

Why?

What do your answers say about you?

Your answers to these questions may seem like they say a lot about you, but they’re only a thin veneer of who you really are.

There are brilliant, tightly knit stories wrapped around each one of your answers, and these stories have gained momentum over time until, eventually, no one knows or asks where the story started or even if they’re true.

The bigger question is, what do you want your answers to these questions to say about you?

Do they define who you are, or is there something deeper?

That’s a story I’ll leave for you to explore and tell.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

Have you heard the phrase ‘Think Different?’

It was popularized by Apple Inc. in the late 90s for an advertising campaign and was a great success for the company.

Think different makes for a great slogan and can make you successful in business and life, but how do you think differently?

If all you do day in and day out is socialize with the same people, repeatedly consume the same popular media, and never get out of your environment, how will thinking differently ever happen?

The truth is that it probably won’t.

Thinking differently requires two specific things.

First, you must expose yourself to different environments and information that will help you spark new ideas.

And the second one is also right there in the phrase. You need to spend time thinking.

Now I know you’re super busy and have a million things going on, and that’s fine, but if you really want to have different thoughts and ideas, then carving out time to think has to be a priority.

But wait!

How do you think?

Were you ever taught how to think, or were you just told to do so?

I had to learn for myself, so let me share what works for me, and maybe it’ll work for you too.

A quiet environment with no distractions, a blank sheet of paper with two columns with the headings work and non-work, and then I jot down thoughts that come to my mind and see where they lead.

I know it’s not very scientific, but it seems to work.

Give it a try.

Set aside time this week to practice thinking. Who knows, you might start thinking differently, too.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

How much do you weigh?

I weigh 172 on my scale at home and 180 on the scale at the doctor’s office.

According to the experts, I’m overweight at 5’9″ and 175lbs, and my BMI is too high.

What size shoes do you wear?

Depending on the brand, I wear 10.5 in sneakers and 10 or 11 in dress shoes.

What size jeans do you wear?

I wear a 32 in the Lucky brand and 33 in the Gap brand, and 34 in dress pants.

I consume between 1000 and 2000 calories daily, depending on what the packages say.

How about you?

I have a confession to make.

I really don’t know what any of these numbers really mean.

Do you?

What other arbitrary numbers do you use to measure yourself against?

Friends?

Followers?

Grades?

Likes?

Income?

Square footage?

0-60mph?

Etc…

Measurements of who you are and how you should be, begin to enter your life ever so subtly until you’re using them to guide your life without ever asking why.

If you’re going to measure yourself against numbers, then at least be curious about the numbers. Just in case you get to the end of your life only to realize that the numbers were all made up and that measuring up meant nothing.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

Do you remember the last time you felt genuinely carefree?

The last time you woke up and didn’t think about passing grades, fulfilling financial commitments, or navigating complicated relationships?

When the morning came, and you didn’t even know what day or time it was?

Waking up and falling into the day not knowing or thinking about what would happen next?

The feeling of just being- without a care in the world.

The challenges of everyday life are ever present and always will be, but you don’t have to continuously indulge yourself in a never-ending spiral of caring and concern.

The handful of years where naiveté and innocence, not caring about the ‘real world,’ seems to be reserved for only the very young amongst us, but it’s not.

It’s available for everyone.

Even if just for a few brief moments, you can re-experience the feeling and the freedom of not having a care in the world.

But you have to learn to be present in the moment.

You have to dedicate a little time to cultivating a practice of not living in the past or future.

To find your carefree moments, you can choose deep, focused breathing, moments of gratitude, meditation, or prayer. It’s up to you. Once you find what works for you, relish your moments of bliss without a care in the world.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

When was the last time you purchased a car?

What about the last cellphone or TV that you purchased?

Do you remember seeing an owners manual?

The manufacturers of these items and so many others provide you with an owners manual so you can learn how to best operate the item.

An important section in an owners manual is the troubleshooting section, essentially a guide about what to do when something goes wrong.

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your perspective, there are no owners manuals for humans.

The great thing is that as an adult, you get to write your own owners manual if you choose to.

You have the fantastic job of telling people how you want them to treat you.

You get to decide what you’re good at and under what conditions you perform best.

You have the privilege of troubleshooting your own problems.

And the best thing about writing your own manual is that it’s specifically made for you, and you get to edit and make changes as you learn more about yourself.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

What do you think of when you hear the word debt?

Does the word make you think about money and finances?

What about debt in other areas of your life?

What about emotional, physical, and spiritual debt?

How does your life look when you neglect to invest in all areas of your life?

Accruing financial debt is the one area that many people dread and spend most of their time focusing on, but the irony is that for many, it’s the least fulfilling.

What does life look like if all your financial debt is satisfied, but you’re emotionally, physically, and spiritually broke?

It’s cliché to say that at the end of people’s lives, they would trade all they have for one more day of good health or wish they could repair broken relationships, but it’s true.

Just like your financial debts, you will eventually have to pay interest on the other areas of life where you’ve created debt. The difference is that with financial debt, your lenders keep reminding you that you owe them. But the calling of your debt in other areas of life is more subtle until all of a sudden, you find yourself in a deep hole.

Don’t let this happen to you.

Get in the habit of managing your debt by making regular investments in your emotional, physical and spiritual health, and in turn, they will make your financial health all the more worthwhile.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

When do you know if you’ve made the right choice?

I’ll wait while you think about it.

(Patiently waiting and whistling a random tune).

If you said, after you make it, then- Congratulations! We have a winner.

You see, there is no right choice.

There is only an outcome that either does or does not align with what you would like to happen.

The interesting thing about choices is that you make them all day long. It’s just that some choices are more critical than others, and the irony is that you can’t avoid making a choice.

One way to navigate the constant stream of choices is to not give them all equal weight. Perhaps you can find a way to automate some of the choices you have or plan for them in advance.

You can also choose to let some situations just unfold without too much mental investment. This way, you can save your mental energy for the bigger, more important choices.

When it comes to important choices, you will never have all the information you need, so eventually, there will come a time when you’ll have to choose to act or not.

Ultimately you have to come to terms with the fact that you and everyone else are making the right choices based on the information and perspectives.

You see, you’ll never know if you’ve made the right choice because, as of now, there is no parallel universe in which you can re-run the identical scenario to see how your other option would have played out.

Coming to terms with the fact that you made the right choice can be difficult, but then that’s a choice too. 

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.