Have you ever used a forcing function?

There are several use cases for forcing functions, but in this case, I’m asking about using a forcing function for behavior change.

Let me give one example of a forcing function. If you’re scheduled to catch a flight at 10 am, you know that the flight will leave without you if you’re not there in time. Therefore, you plan your day and adapt your behavior to ensure you catch your flight.

Forcing functions are also used in design to force attention on something, deliberately disrupting the flow or automation of a task.

So why am I bringing forcing functions to your attention?

Because a good forcing function can be used as a tool to jump-start behavior change.

There are, of course, negative and positive versions of forcing functions.

A negative forcing function might be a health diagnosis that acts as a wake-up call and forces you to reconsider certain lifestyle choices. Or perhaps a letter or call from the IRS that forces you to pay attention to your finances.

Positive forcing functions are ones that you implement for yourself to help you with behavior change. You could, for example, use them to make a public declaration regarding a goal you want to achieve and be held accountable for your results. Another way is to join a group or team that relies on you to accomplish specific tasks. Doing so makes you feel obligated because if you don’t show, then the team will struggle without you, and it might even jeopardize your long-term reputation.

So, if there’s a behavior you’re trying to change or a new one you want to begin, consider implementing a forcing function. Even though you know it’s an artificial construct, you might be surprised at how effective it can be, and it could just be the nudge you need to send your life in a new direction.

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Who is your biggest fan?

Who always chooses you first?

Hopefully, you answered – I am, and I do.  

What does it mean to choose yourself or to be your biggest fan?

It means you’re not waiting for someone else’s validation of your existence.

If this sounds like I’m glorifying or promoting selfishness, it’s because I am. But not in the, you shouldn’t care about other people kind of way.

When you choose and support yourself first, you’re able to give more of yourself to others. After all, you can’t give from an empty vessel.

The idea of being your biggest fan is a reminder that no matter what happens, you will always have your back. This doesn’t mean you don’t accept your faults and admit to the mistakes you make; it means you’ll love yourself despite them.

Choosing yourself can be scary at first because that’s not what most people are taught to do. Implicitly or explicitly, they’re always taught to be asking and thinking about how other people will perceive them. And so, instead of being themselves, they’re molded by the whims and wishes of those they interact with.

Learning to be your biggest fan can be a long journey because there might be habits and traits that you need to unlearn. You may well have to take baby steps as you learn to prioritize yourself while perhaps fending off pokes and barbs from others as you begin to establish a new version of yourself. A version of you that others will have to get used to.

So, you have some choices to make. You can either commit to being your biggest fan and choosing yourself or go through life waiting to be picked and chosen by others. One path leads to a solid, stronger foundation on which to continue your journey, and the other depends on the moods and vagaries of others. I hope that you choose the former’s security and not the latter’s instability.

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What image comes to mind when you hear the word student?

Maybe you think of a child in school or a young person making their way through post-secondary education.

But what about you?

Do you consider yourself to be a student?

If yes, then fantastic. If no, then why not?

Many people think of graduation from high school or post-secondary as the end of learning. They have an ‘I’m done with learning’ mindset. And while I understand the initial exuberance of being free from institutional learning, the idea of no longer having to study is very much a throwing the baby out with the bathwater situation.

Studying or intentional, continuous learning throughout life is a superpower you can call on at almost any stage in life. I wrote intentional learning because learning by accident will occur whether you like it or not.

Having a student mentality allows you to approach the world from a curious mindset, and it also allows you to be open to new ideas. While it might have killed the cat, curiosity is beneficial because it keeps you asking why, which moves you to look for novel and interesting ideas. Studies have also shown that curious people are happier and have increased satisfaction with life.

Being open to new ideas moves you from a fixed to a growth mindset. It also allows you to improve relationships because you’re more willing to hear other people’s points of view.

Embarking on a journey of intentional learning can be accomplished in many ways. Books, classes, both instructor-led or self-paced, offline or online, your choices are infinite. There’s really no excuse for not finding a path that fits your learning style. Of course, you must be willing to do so.

So, consider adopting or maintaining a student mindset no matter where you are in life. Find ways to make learning part of your life’s journey. Allow your curiosity to lead the way and enjoy all the benefits that come with being a life-long student.

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What will you tradeoff today?

Time for money?

Risk for security?

Socializing for rest?

I have some unfortunate news for you – you can’t have it all. I know there’s a prevailing message that you can have and be anything, and while there is some underlying truth to the statement, there’s a caveat – you’ll need to make sacrifices. Aka, tradeoffs.

There’s no getting around tradeoffs. They are choices you must make.

Why am I writing about tradeoffs?

Because it’s my attempt at rescuing you from frustration and disappointment.

Going through life expecting and thinking you can have and do it all will inevitably lead to disappointment. Regardless of how hard you work or attempt to manage your time, you will still be forced to make tradeoffs. And many times, you’ll have a gnawing feeling, wondering if you made the correct choice.

Fortunately for you, there are a couple of ways to alleviate some of the difficulties of making tradeoffs.

In my opinion, the first, and the best, is to define your beliefs and values. Once you’re able to prioritize what’s important to you, then you can make decisions that align accordingly. Making decisions that are congruent with what’s important to you is no guarantee that you’ll always be pleased with the tradeoff, but at least you’ll be able to rationalize your actions.

The second and more difficult way to deal with tradeoffs is to accept the limitations of life. I understand it’s easier said than done, but it can be liberating if done correctly. Coming to terms with the fact that you only have a finite amount of time and energy is a superpower you can cultivate to your advantage.

So, think about the tradeoffs you’ll need to make today and in the future. Remind yourself that try as you may; there will always be a gap between all you want to do and can do. Learning to get comfortable with the gap is where you’ll find peace of mind.

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Do you believe in the Galatea effect?

Don’t know what the Galatea effect is?

No worries. I only recently learned what it is and am now happy to share my knowledge with you.

The Galatea effect suggests that when we believe in our abilities to achieve a goal, the more likely we’ll be to achieve it.

It sounds straightforward and perhaps even an obvious statement. But an important one, nonetheless.

A quick side note. Notice the definition says more likely and not guaranteed, and it doesn’t provide a timeframe. So, essentially what it does is it increases the probability.

Believing in your ability to accomplish a goal doesn’t mean ignoring reality. For an exaggerated example. You might believe that you’re capable of performing a triple heart bypass, but if you have no training, then your odds are close to zero.

However, believing in yourself is one of the first steps to increasing your probability of achieving your goals. And yes, believing in yourself can be easier said than done, especially if you’re not used to doing so. It can require a practice of constant self-talk, quieting your internal voice of doubt, and reminding yourself that you are capable of accomplishing the goals you set for yourself.

If believing in yourself sounds to you a lot like faith, believing, and seeing the invisible, then you’re correct. Faith in yourself is a required ingredient in your progress.

So, now do you believe in the Galatea effect?

It’s, of course, a trick question.

If you don’t, then stop right here.

However, if you do, then double down on it. Remind yourself when you’re faced with challenges and obstacles that you do and always will believe and have faith in yourself.

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What would you call a person that finishes last in a competition?

A loser?

But are they really a loser?

Perhaps a better word would be a competitor.

You might think that I’m papering over the fact that the person lost their competition and I don’t want to hurt their feelings, which is partly true. However, from my point of view, the person had the courage to commit themselves to compete regardless of the outcome. Sure, they wanted to win, but they also knew there could only be one winner.

Why am I writing about competing and losing?

Because I want you to think about a time in your life when you’ve considered doing something new or different but have held yourself back because you thought you wouldn’t be as good as another person. You’ve created an internal narrative where you’ve told yourself that you wouldn’t compete because you don’t’ want to feel like, and even more daunting, look like a loser.

You’ve probably heard it said, but I’m going to remind you again that winners are not born winners. The people that win that get ahead are the ones that continue to compete regardless of the outcome. They know that losing is part of the process. They have internalized the notion that the only true losing is not competing.

I know I’m using the word competing, which is almost always associated with sports, but the definition of a competitor is broad and can cover many areas of life. And it doesn’t always mean competing with other people. Sometimes, your greatest competitor can be the previous version of yourself.

So, if you’re standing on a metaphorical sideline, think about participating in a new activity or role but are concerned that you won’t be as good as the experts or professionals in the field, remind yourself that the only real loser is the one that doesn’t compete.

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Humans think all the time. Our brains are constantly running, processing new information and new ideas. But do you ever think about your own thoughts? Which thoughts occur more often or less often? Which are negative, and which are positive?

Thinking about the things you don’t have or that you want consumes a lot of time and energy. And matter of factly, It’s more common to think about those thoughts than what you already have. Another thing that a majority of people think about is their past mistakes. They remember times when they embarrassed themselves or said the wrong thing. But have you ever stopped to think that if you are embarrassed by your past self, it means that you have grown as a person?

Lastly, a thought that is present in almost everyone’s mind is situations that they have zero control over. Some parts of life are meant to be lived, not controlled.  No matter what happens, no matter the outcome, you’re going to be just fine.  Let go of the things you can’t control. Instead, spend your thoughts and efforts controlling what you do have power over.

A big step that you can take is to change your mindset. Changing what you think can change what you feel and change what you do. Instead of spending time on what you don’t have, think about what you have and how grateful you are. Instead of thinking about past mistakes, think about what you can do in the future to prevent the same things from happening. I tend to get stuck on the past when I should keep looking to the future.

Changing your state of mind or mindset can help you see things differently and focus on the important things in your life and bring you joy.

P.S. This is a very special blog post. This morning, I was feeling a little under the weather, so I skipped writing my blog. Reyna (my daughter) asked me about my blog, and I explained my reason for not writing, and I told her. So, she took it upon herself to write a post for me. Words can’t describe how proud I am of her.

P.P.S. P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

What can you control?

I’ll give you a clue.

It’s a lot less than you think.

Why am I asking you about what you can control?

Because once you realize how much of life is out of your control, you can begin to focus only on that which you can control.

The only things you can control are your thoughts and actions. However, even your thoughts and actions will find ways to slip away from your control for most of your day.

Focusing only on what you can control takes effort and discipline. It’s very easy to get distracted and let your mind wander into the realm of all the things you wish you could control. Especially the idea of attempting to control other people’s actions – because that’s a losing proposition, and you’re almost guaranteed to be disappointed.

So how do you focus on what you can control?

You shift your attention from outcome to thoughts and actions you can control.

Since you can only control what you think and do, there’s very little to gain from spending energy on thinking about what might happen. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t plan or have goals or ideas about how you’d like life to be. It just means that once you’ve thought about the future, bring your attention back to what you can control.

So, as you go about your day, make a mental note, or if you’re so inclined, a physical list of all the things that are within and beyond your control. If you do this correctly, you’ll soon realize that the items listed under what you can’t control will quickly outnumber that which you can. Once you have your list, double down on controlling your thoughts and actions. Doing so will give you a greater sense of confidence when dealing with everything that’s out of your control.

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What is the most nonconformist act you’ve ever committed?

Of course, I’m not going to continue without helping you with the definition of nonconformist, so here it is—a person whose behavior or views do not conform to prevailing ideas or practices.

If your entire life has been built to seek approval from those that you consider authority figures, such as parents, teachers, and bosses, then the likelihood that you’ve stepped out of line is close to zero. All you’ve done is relegate yourself to a small box designed by anyone and everyone but yourself.

So, why am I asking you about nonconforming behavior?

Because I want to encourage you to step out of line.

That’s right. I want you to step beyond your current boundaries and break some rules.

Before I continue, let me be clear that I’m not recommending you break the law. I want you to break a manufactured, fictitious boundary.

Your small act of rebellion or nonconforming could be as simple as wearing mismatched socks or, if you’re a little more daring, having the courage to speak up regarding a social norm that you’ve quietly disagreed with.

You might be concerned that nonconforming might cause you to become an outcast. However, the truth is that whatever culture you currently belong to would be considered very foreign to any previous generation. And don’t forget, you can’t spell culture without the word cult – so to some extent, with or without our permission, by conforming, we’ve all committed to some degree of indoctrination.

So, as you go through your day today, find an opportunity to nonconform. Step out of your box and break a rule or two. Experience the fear, nervousness, and even perhaps excitement of committing an act that some might consider being nonconformist.

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Why does the grass seem greener on the other side?

It’s an age-old question. And hopefully, you realize that grass is a placeholder for the word life.

Fixating or thinking about how good other people have it or how well other people’s lives are going is a surefire way to ignore your own life. Think about this for a moment. For every minute you spend thinking about someone else’s life, you lose the opportunity to invest in your own life.

Yes, there are people that might have, subjectively speaking, better or different lives than you. But there are also many people that wish they had your life. The wonderful thing is that there is no competition or medals being given to the people with the best life.

Let’s return to the grass analogy for a moment. If you ask a master gardener how much effort is required to maintain lush green grass year-round, you might be surprised to hear the answer. A simple, small residential yard can take hours a week to ensure that the right amount of fertilizer, water, and weed control is applied for ideal growth and maintenance.

Are you willing to apply the same amount of diligence and time, not to your yard but to your life?

And what happens to grass that is neglected? It quickly becomes overgrown, and weeds that were waiting in the wings begin to take over. The same can happen to your life if you ignore it and spend your time admiring the life of other people.

So, while it’s okay to occasionally look over and admire the greener grass of other people’s lives, don’t do so at the expense of neglecting your own. Do all that you can to grow and maintain your own life. And not that it should be your goal, but who knows, yours might be the greener grass that others begin to admire.

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How will you know what you’re capable of?

Well, there’s only one way. And that’s to extend beyond your current boundaries or limitations.

There’s a sort of experiment that public speakers will do on occasion where they ask their audience to raise their hands. At first go, the audience halfheartedly participates. Some audience members raise their hands slightly off their laps, while others do so with elbows bent, just to show that they’re paying attention.

Then the speaker asks them to raise their hands a second time, with the command that they reach as high as possible. The second time around, audience members can be seen reaching for the ceiling with locked elbows and straight arms—a miraculous improvement of performance in a matter of seconds.

What happened or changed between the two requests?

The same audience members, but in some cases, a one hundred percent improvement in the results.

Why am I sharing this story with you?

Because I want you to think about where you are not raising your arm to your full capacity in your life.

Where are you only participating halfheartedly?

I agree that not every area of your life needs or even deserves one hundred percent of your energy all the time. And if you run at full speed all the time, eventually, you’d burn out. But where are the areas where you would begin to see more significant results if you stretch yourself just a little further?

You always have the choice in life of either just showing up and pretending to participate or committing to giving it your all. The one thing you might not realize is that the results you receive will be commensurate with the effort you exert.

So, think about where you’d benefit from a little or a lot more effort in your life. And if you think of an area where you’d like to see greater results, then commit to locking out your elbow and reaching for it.

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How often do you think about the second price?

What is the second price?

It’s what you pay after you’ve acquired or committed to something.

Perhaps said differently. Whatever you own owns a piece of you.

Acquiring the thing is usually the easiest part of the transaction. It’s the second price that can become burdensome over time. And in some extreme examples, it can be even more costly than the price you initially paid.

There’s an old adage that illustrates my point.

What are the two happiest days in a boat owners’ life?

The day you buy the boat and the day you sell the boat.

It’s not that the boat owner doesn’t enjoy a handful of days in between buying and selling the boat. It’s just that from a time and energy perspective, boat ownership can be a lot more expensive than expected.

Of course, the idea of a second price doesn’t apply only to boat ownership.

Here are a few additional examples of the second price.

Homes and cars have maintenance costs.

Items of clothing have cleaning and storage costs.

Relationships have time costs.

Learning a new skill has time costs.

I’m sharing the idea of the second price with you not to deter you from acquiring objects or committing to relationships but to make you aware of the potential additional costs you might incur.

So, the next time you think about purchasing something, committing to a new relationship, or learning a new skill, be aware of the hidden costs you’ll have to pay. Do this not necessarily to discourage you from acting, but more to prepare you for the future – the second price you’ll need to pay.

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What’s on your permanent record?

You know the record your parents and teachers warned would follow you for the rest of your life.

While your parents and teachers were probably leveraging the threat of your permanent record to keep your behavior in line and to ensure you paid attention to your grades, the thing they weren’t telling you about was your reputation.

As you continue down the path of adulthood, you soon realize that all the attention to grades and GPA begins to matter less and less. However, your reputation becomes more important, to the point where it begins to precede you.

Now I’m not suggesting that paying attention to academics is not important in specific contexts. But I firmly believe that eventually, the kind of person you’re known as will be much more significant.

So, what kind of person do you want to be known as?

Once you know how you want to be thought of, you can get to work building and ultimately retaining a good reputation. Think of your reputation as your personal brand.

Notice that I’m not telling you the kind of reputation you should strive for, and that’s because it’s your decision. I’m just shining a light on the fact that many people forget that they have the opportunity to craft their reputation.

I must add that I can’t write about reputation and permanent records without addressing the era of digital ubiquity. In today’s day and age, where your digital footprint is an inextricable part of your reputation, you must be aware of your actions both in real life and online. So, proceed with caution.

So, think about the person you want to be known as, and act accordingly. Because eventually, your reputation will be the most important thing on your permanent record.

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How often do you engage in exposure therapy?

What is exposure therapy?

The definition of exposure therapy is “a technique in behavior therapy to treat anxiety disorders.” And the therapy is performed by exposure through a real-life situation.

You might think that you don’t suffer from anxiety, which could be true. But there’s also a probability that you don’t struggle with anxiety because you don’t allow yourself to be exposed to new or different ideas or situations. After all, it’s easy to feel comfortable and safe if life is somewhat predictable.

So, why should you consider exposure therapy?

Well, there are a few reasons.

Exposing yourself to new ideas stimulates creativity. When you encounter new information, your brain is forced to think differently. It’s as though you’re nudged out of your current rut and forced to build new pathways.

Closely related to the first reason, you can expose yourself to new ways of thinking by meeting and speaking with different kinds of people. Interacting with people that don’t share your background or views is a proven way to increase empathy because you soon learn that most people share the same desires but have different ways of fulfilling them.

Lastly, let’s revisit the idea of treating anxiety. So much of anxiety is rooted in the concern and fear of the unknown. And while this might sound obvious, exposure therapy is one step in making the unknown known.  

The most common ways of practicing exposure are flooding and systematic. Flooding is immersing yourself in an experience or situation. But if that sounds too overwhelming for you, then a systematic, step-by-step exposure might be a better option for you.

So, commit today to engage in your own version of exposure therapy. Make a conscious decision to stimulate your mind and body and feel yourself grow as you push yourself to encounter new ideas, people, and situations.

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Hello.

Did you respond with a hi or hello?

If you reciprocated with a hello, thank you.

In his best-selling book Influence, Robert Cialdini writes about the power of reciprocity, “reciprocity is the impulse we feel to return the favor after we are helped by someone or given value. That impulse not only inspires us to give back in equal measure but may in fact compel us to give back more value than we received in the first place.”

The key to reciprocity is that you must go first.

You must be willing put yourself out there, whether by word or deed, not knowing for sure if or how the other person will respond. And this can feel risky at times.

However, the more often you go first, the more you’ll experience people’s impulse to ‘return the favor.’

Why do people feel the need to return the favor? Because it’s a core survival mechanism. One of the reasons humans have survived for as long as we have is that we have learned to cooperate with each other. But to cooperate, someone needs to go first.

Are there people that will not reciprocate? Absolutely. But you’ll find the number of people that don’t will be surprisingly small.

While Cialdini wrote about reciprocity as a tool for influencing others, that’s not the only reason you should practice going first. Going first is about recognizing the humanity in the other person. It’s about acknowledging that we all share the same basic needs and desires. It’s a version of the South African greeting Sawabona, which translates to I see you. And who doesn’t want to be seen?

So, as you go about your day, take every opportunity to go first. See and recognize people with kindness and affection, and while there might be a few that won’t reciprocate, you’ll soon find the majority of them will, which means they’ll see you too.

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What are you doing to help yourself?

Although not the original author of the phrase, Ben Franklin wrote, “God helps those who help themselves.”

Now you might not be the religious type, but regardless, there’s wisdom buried in that quote.

Here’s a brief joke/story that illustrates the point.

A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local Preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.

“Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast.”

“No,” says the Preacher. “I have faith in the Lord. He will save me.”

Still the waters rise. Now the Preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.

“Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee’s gonna break any minute.”

Once again, the Preacher is unmoved. “I shall remain. The Lord will see me through.”

After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The Preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.

“Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance.”

Once again, the Preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.

And, predictably, he drowns.

A pious man, the Preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, “Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn’t you deliver me from that flood?”

God shakes his head. “What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter.”

As you can see from the story, there comes a time when you must act and help yourself.

It’s great to have a robust support system, and if you’re so inclined, faith in powers greater than you, but you still need to do your part. And doing your part doesn’t mean doing as little as possible to get by. It means exerting the additional effort required to get what you want out of life.

Of course, there are no guarantees that you’ll always get what you set out to accomplish, but you can be sure that you’ll be closer than if you had never tried.

So, think about what you want out of life and then exert just a little more effort to help yourself move closer to your goals. Who knows, once you try a little harder, you too might see metaphorical boats and helicopters appear to help you on your journey.

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When was the last time you just said no?

I understand that just say no might conjure up the image of Nancy Reagan and remind you of the anti-drug campaigns of the ’80s and ’90s, but this is not the just say no I’m suggesting.

I’m recommending a new just say no campaign for distractions.

One could argue that distractions are just as insidious as drugs because they too can delay or even derail you from what you’re trying to accomplish. Of course, I want to recognize that drugs can be worse for your physical well-being and potentially even deadly.

If you’re like most people, you’re playing a whac-a-mole all day long between your attention and distractions. You’re constantly being lured by pings and buzzes, all designed to nibble away at your mental bandwidth, leaving you with little time to accomplish what’s important to you.

So, what is the just say no to distractions?

It’s nipping the distraction in the bud. When you feel the urge to step away from a task, or distract yourself with some mindless action that you know will take you away from what you’re working on – just say no.

I know this might sound overly simplistic and even ridiculous, but it can be effective with enough practice.

Just saying no is about reclaiming the reigns of your attention. Staying with the horse analogy for a movement – it’s like putting blinders on so you can only focus on what’s ahead of you.

Like any other behavior change, saying no will take time to implement. At first, you could even experience withdrawal symptoms as you ween yourself from the distractions you’re accustomed to.

So, as you take your day today, identify the distractions that you can say no to. Resolve to take back your attention and stay focused on your priorities instead of letting yourself be distracted by the whims and wishes of others.

What’s the one decision you make that leads to all other decisions?

I’ll give you a minute to think about it.

Oh, and there’s a clue in the previous sentence.

Ready?

Here it is.

What to do with your time?

That’s it.

Sound too simplistic?

Maybe so.

But, if you think about it, you’ll soon realize that all you have is time.

I’m not suggesting there aren’t other important decisions you need to make. It’s just that they’re all layered on the foundation of time. Food, relationships, self-care, personal safety, and everything else you can think of, all consume time.

I agree that what I’m pointing out about time is not breaking news, but that’s not my role. I’m working to draw your attention to what might be apparent yet, overlooked.

Once you get to a certain age, you’re responsible for how you spend your time. There might be activities you think you must do, but that’s really not true. It’s just that if you don’t, the consequences might be more significant than you what you want to experience.

Let me quickly illustrate with an extreme example. You could choose not to spend your time eating, but if you do, then you’ll soon find yourself in poor health or even worse.

Now I don’t want to give you advice about what to do with your time because that’s personal for each individual. I just recommend you be aware of how you’re spending it.

So, be aware of how you’re spending your time today. Remember, it’s a finite resource and underpins everything you do. And one last thing. Thank you for spending some of your valuable time reading this post. Hopefully, you’ll feel it was time well spent.

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How would you rate your intellectual humility?

If you’re not sure what intellectual humility is, no worries, here’s the definition. Intellectual humility is “the recognition that the things you believe in might in fact be wrong.” Let that definition marinate in your mind for a moment or two.

Okay, hopefully, you’re back and weren’t deterred by the idea that you could, occasionally, be wrong.

You might be asking why is it important to be intellectually humble? Because it’s the first step to being open to new and different ideas. And, of course, there’s the obvious, no one person can be right about everything.

So, how do you cultivate intellectual humility?

I already provided you with the first step, which sounds simple, small, and easy enough, but is actually a giant leap that takes time and practice. But once you’re on board with the idea that you might be wrong, then you’re ready for the next step, which is being open to changing your opinions.

I know this second step may perhaps sound even more difficult than the first one. You’re probably even be thinking, first, you want me to admit being wrong, and now I should change how I feel. I know it’s a lot to digest, but I assure you that you will reap the benefits of both steps over time.

Admitting you might be wrong and changing your opinion will allow you to adapt to new and ever-changing ideas and environments. Acknowledging that you’re mistaken is similar to breaking a dam. It will enable new information to come flooding in. It increases the probability of you experiencing more aha moments.

Look, I know the idea of admitting you’re wrong isn’t easy and doesn’t sound like fun, but I implore you to give it a shot. You don’t have to let anyone know unless, of course, you want to that you’re working on challenging your current worldview. You can practice it in the privacy of your own mind.

So, as you go about your day today, see if you can find an opportunity to test your intellectual humility. Allow yourself to entertain the notion that what you believe might be wrong, and watch the world around you change as you change the way you see it.

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How will you waste time today?

That’s right. I want you to think about wasting time productively. I can feel you struggling with the dichotomy of my previous sentence. But that’s okay.

Look, we both know that you’ll waste some time today, and that’s okay because so will I. Whether it’s daydreaming, scrolling the internet, or any other time-wasting activity you might have.

Allowing yourself to spend some time letting your mind aimlessly wander might sound counterproductive, and it can be if it continues for too long, but it can also allow for much-needed rest and recovery.

Over the years, there’s been a vast body of work focused on being productive and getting things done, so much so that you might feel as though you need to be on task all day long, but that’s not possible. You’re not a machine. And even machines eventually need some downtime.

One of the hidden benefits of wasting time is that it might be an underlying symptom. You might be avoiding a task that you either don’t want to or can’t do for one reason or another, so you drag your feet and do something less productive. But quite often, it’s during the time-wasting, you can come up with a creative or different approach to help you complete your unwanted or unfinished task.

I realize that wasting time is not often viewed as a virtue and is rarely recommended, especially by productivity gurus, but that’s okay because each to their own. And I’m by no means suggesting that you waste all your time. What I am saying is that it’s okay sometimes to allow yourself to be off task.

So, the next time you find yourself wasting time, do so without guilt and use the opportunity to introspect and inquire why you’re wasting time. It might be that you’ll learn more about yourself during your time-wasting than when you’re being hyper-productive.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.