What comes to mind when you hear the words, Pro Bono?

If you’re like most people, then you probably think of an attorney performing legal work for free. And you wouldn’t be mistaken in your understanding. But it’s not just attorneys that can perform Pro Bono work. You’re just as capable of doing so too.

The Latin phrase Pro Bono means for the public good. The term generally refers to services rendered by a professional for free or at a lower cost. So, as you can see, almost anyone can perform Pro Bono work.

Why would you perform Pro Bono or work for free?

As stated in the definition, for the good of the public. And, although you might, on occasion, forget, you are also a member of the public.

You might also be thinking, how can performing work for free benefit or be good for you. Another valid consideration. So, here are a few reasons that might convince you to give your expertise and time for free.

First, there’s the obvious, which you may or may not believe in, karma. As they say, what goes around comes around.

Second, when you perform Pro Bono work, you get the opportunity to sharpen your skills outside of your current realm of employment. For example, there might be a non-profit or cause you’re interested in that doesn’t have the resources to hire someone with your skills, and in this case, you can support them by volunteering your services.

Lastly, there’s network and reputation building. You’ve probably heard that your reputation precedes you, and this simply means that people have heard about you from other people. Therefore, if this is true, why not actively manage what people are going to hear about you?

So, regardless of your skills or vocation, consider spending at least a small fraction of your time performing Pro Bono work. In doing so, you might just find that not only will other people benefit from your contribution but being good to the public will be good for you too.

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What’s the one area where only you can be guaranteed to achieve success?

If you read the quote I published along with this post; then you already know the answer. It is, of course, in being yourself.

There’s no other area in life where you’re almost guaranteed to achieve success except at being who you truly are. I left a lot of wiggle room by writing almost guaranteed because being successful at who you are requires work.

Being yourself doesn’t occur by chance. It requires changing beliefs and re-evaluating lessons and messages you’ve been taught to believe. It requires an emotional and mental metamorphosis akin to a caterpillar liquifying itself to become a butterfly.

Becoming who you are at your core is one of the most incredible journeys you can ever embark on. Using reflective questions to peel away layers of who and what you’ve been told to be and exposing parts of you that have been dormant for years can be both liberating and jarring.

So, why go through the pain and trouble of becoming who you really are?

That’s a great question, and the good news, which I say with a hint of sarcasm, is that there’s no requirement to do so. You can, and many people do, live as a shadow of who they are.

The greatest thing about becoming successful at who you are is that you don’t have to do it overnight. It can be a journey that evolves over time, which is perfect because making slight changes allows the real you to emerge slowly without causing too much upheaval in your life and, of course, those accustomed to the current version of you.

So, now you know the one thing where only you’re guaranteed success, you can decide whether to pursue it or not. And while becoming successful at being you might not yield some of the metrics of success that society traditionally measures people by, you’ll be content and have the satisfaction of knowing that you are becoming the person you were meant to be.

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How often do you play whodunit?

Whodunit is colloquial slang for who has done it and is most commonly known for its use in crime or murder mystery stories. Essentially, it’s asking the question of who’s the culprit or who to blame for a crime.

But, there’s a version of whodunit, that you might, at some time or another, engage in when you’re looking for someone to blame for a challenge or problem that you’ve encountered. You look for an aggressor because you’ve adopted a victim mentality.

Before I continue, let me be clear that I’m certain there are times when your claim of being a victim is legitimate, and you should seek judgment for actions taken against you. But hopefully, these times are few and far between.

It’s easy to fall into the trap or even habit of blaming others for your misgivings and tribulations because it shifts responsibility from you to someone else. And, of course, it allows you to seek attention and sympathy from others.

While blaming others might seem easy, it actually undermines your self-confidence and weakens your self-efficacy. However, shifting from whodunit to a version Idunit, yes, I just made that up on the fly, helps you take ownership of your life. And the sooner you take a position of owning or being responsible for your actions, the sooner you’ll shift from a victim mentality to a creator and, in some cases, even a victor state of mind.

So, the next time something goes wrong in your life, ask yourself how you contributed to the situation instead of looking for whodunit. Find how you also are to blame, not for the sake of self-flagellation, but to learn and regain control of that area of your life. As time goes by, you’ll find that the less you blame others, the more you’ll feel in command of your own life.

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Have you ever completed a word search puzzle?

Isn’t it interesting how in a jumble of what at first glance seems to be random letters thrown together, words that are provided to you in a prescribed list seem to appear magically? Sometimes words seem to jump off the page in seconds.

How is it that you’re able to locate the words in the puzzle?

Because you know what you’re looking for.

Life works very similarly to a word search puzzle.

There’s a term in psychology called motivated seeing, which, in a nutshell, means you see what you want to see. Just like in the word search puzzle where you prime your brain to look for specific words, you can do the same in everyday life.

What does this mean for you?

Well, you can prime your mind to look for opportunities, for good news, and even for people acting or doing things in your best interest. Of course, you can also look for the opposite of the list I gave you, which will work for you too.

You might argue that instructing your mind to only look for good or favorable situations isn’t reality, and you might be correct in some instances. However, factually speaking, you’re already priming your brain to look for what you want to see. You’re just not doing it consciously. And, there’s a high probability your mind has already been taught what to look for by forces, i.e., other people.

So, now that you’re aware of motivated seeing, you know you have a choice. You can either choose or prescribe to yourself what you’re going to look for as you go through life, or continue to see the world how you’ve been trained to see it. The former will feel as though life is working for you, and the latter, well, that’s your current experience of life.

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How are you enjoying the good old days?

I understand that my question might seem a little strange because it’s referring to present days as days that have already passed. But if you think about it for a moment, you’ll quickly realize that today and every day in the future have the potential to fall into the category of the good old days.

To make today and future days into good old days and ones that you want to look back upon and reminisce about fondly, you must start with today.

Many memories of the good old days fall into the category of serendipitous events. Unplanned and impromptu decisions that led to fond memories cherished for a lifetime.

But what if there was a more conscious way to create the good old days?

Well, there is. However, it requires you to play a more active role today.

If you have the desire to make today and days in the future fall into the category of the good old days, the first thing you must do is slow down. Schedules crammed with activities and living life as if on autopilot leave little time to create lasting memories because days blend and become a blur. Slowing down allows you to appreciate moments that might otherwise slip by and helps you make space for memorable events to occur.

While manufacturing memories might not sound appealing to you, it’s one way to ensure that at least a handful of your recollections of the good old days were because you paid attention to the time you had.

So, set out today and the days going forward with the intention to contribute to your good old days consciously. Create space in your life for events that you can look back upon fondly and say with a smile, remember when.

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Is there a way to avoid pain, emotional or physical, in your life?

Hopefully, you landed on the obvious answer, no.

However, if you said yes by chance, you should bottle whatever secret you have and sell it. I’m sure you’ll do very well for yourself.

On the other hand, suffering from pain is not mandatory.

While I’ll admit that it’s impossible to eliminate suffering from life, there are times when you can choose to reduce how much you allow yourself to suffer.

Now you might think that suffering is a natural emotional response, and you’re right to some extent. But so much of suffering is also learned behavior. You see, we still retain much of the monkey see, monkey do, genetic makeup. This means that you’ve also learned to suffer by watching those around you.

For example, let’s take your emotional response to being slighted or wronged by another individual. You can choose to let them live rent-free in your mind and continue to suffer their wrongdoing towards you, or you can choose to move on. It all depends on how you choose to look and subsequently respond to the situation.

I agree that the preceding example might sound utopic. But if you think about it for a moment and perhaps even admit to the fact that while a person might have committed a severe grievance towards you, the second half of the equation, how and if you choose to continue to suffer, is up to you.

A similar mentality also applies to physical pain. If you live any measure of a normal life, then you will encounter physical pain, either from disease or injury. And while this might take a toll on your body, you can still choose not to suffer emotionally. There are countless examples, some that you might have even witnessed, of individuals with what some might consider horrific injuries or terminal illnesses that still manage to maintain cheerful and, in some cases, even a grateful outlook on life.

So, the next time you encounter an emotional or physical situation that causes you pain, remember, it doesn’t have to be pain and suffering. There is also the choice of pain without suffering.

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How much variety do you need in life?

It’s been said that variety is the spice of life.

Let’s unpack that statement together. If variety is akin to spices, then let’s examine how spices are used. While almost all chefs recommend using spices, they use spices sparingly because they want them to enhance the flavor of the food and not cover or overwhelm the taste of whatever they’re cooking.

It would be best if you used variety in life, similarly to the chef’s recommendations. To enhance life, not overwhelm it. Unfortunately, in today’s day and age, you’re constantly bombarded with messages about how you should avoid boredom and seek more variety. But the messages fail to mention that boredom often equates to consistency, and there’s power in consistency.

I’ve had the good fortune of speaking to hundreds of people that have achieved their version of success in their lives, and almost without fail, the one thing they have in common is consistency. And even they often joke about how exciting and perhaps even glamorous their lives look on the outside. But, in reality, they’re usually plugging away, performing the same activities day in and day out.

Across the range of finances, health, business, and relationships, all success is usually the result of what might be considered boring activities executed consistently over a long period of time. This is true because only when you’ve stuck to one thing long enough can you learn from it and then if needed, make changes to improve your process.

Let’s look at one example from the list above. If you speak to a professional athlete, a person that makes their living based on the quality of their health, you’ll soon learn that they usually stick to the same handful of foods. They do this because, while it might be boring, it delivers the results they’re looking for. And while they might, on occasion, have a ‘cheat day,’ aka variety, they quickly revert to the stability of their boring diets.

So, while you might be tempted to continuously seek variety in your life, please understand that long-term success in any area of life is usually the result of long-term and, in many cases, boring activities performed consistently over time.

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How do you define success?

Do you define it by wealth, status, or other accomplishments?

If you pay too much attention to media, then you’ll be constantly bombarded with messages about how you should define success. And you’ll begin to believe that if you don’t measure up to the most current views on success, then you’re unsuccessful and perhaps have even failed at life.

However, if you’re able to turn down somehow the volume of the popular views of success, then you can increase the likelihood of finding success that is meaningful to you.

Escaping or avoiding popular views of success isn’t easy. Even if you’re able to eliminate most media from your life, you’re still surrounded by people, and they will act as conduits between the cultural view of success and you. So, unless you’re willing to sacrifice almost all social interaction and embrace a hermit-like lifestyle, you really can’t avoid popular views of success.

So, if you can’t avoid them, how do you navigate them and still remain true to yourself?

I hinted at the answer earlier when I wrote about success that is meaningful to you. If you’re able to detach yourself from the common ideas about success and turn inward to focus on what’s intrinsically important to you, then you increase your chances of success as defined by you and not others.

Once you’re able to define what success is to you, then you’ll find yourself expending effort and pursuing your goals without seeking external validation of your efforts. You’ll move through life with the satisfaction of knowing that you are, as they say, marching to the beat of your own drum.

So, you have a choice to make. You’ll have to decide if you’ll pursue the success as defined by others or if you’ll commit to your own version of success. Neither path holds any guarantees, nor will they be easy. But if you follow your internal path, in the end, at least you’ll have the fulfillment of being true to yourself.

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Have you ever used a forcing function?

There are several use cases for forcing functions, but in this case, I’m asking about using a forcing function for behavior change.

Let me give one example of a forcing function. If you’re scheduled to catch a flight at 10 am, you know that the flight will leave without you if you’re not there in time. Therefore, you plan your day and adapt your behavior to ensure you catch your flight.

Forcing functions are also used in design to force attention on something, deliberately disrupting the flow or automation of a task.

So why am I bringing forcing functions to your attention?

Because a good forcing function can be used as a tool to jump-start behavior change.

There are, of course, negative and positive versions of forcing functions.

A negative forcing function might be a health diagnosis that acts as a wake-up call and forces you to reconsider certain lifestyle choices. Or perhaps a letter or call from the IRS that forces you to pay attention to your finances.

Positive forcing functions are ones that you implement for yourself to help you with behavior change. You could, for example, use them to make a public declaration regarding a goal you want to achieve and be held accountable for your results. Another way is to join a group or team that relies on you to accomplish specific tasks. Doing so makes you feel obligated because if you don’t show, then the team will struggle without you, and it might even jeopardize your long-term reputation.

So, if there’s a behavior you’re trying to change or a new one you want to begin, consider implementing a forcing function. Even though you know it’s an artificial construct, you might be surprised at how effective it can be, and it could just be the nudge you need to send your life in a new direction.

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Who is your biggest fan?

Who always chooses you first?

Hopefully, you answered – I am, and I do.  

What does it mean to choose yourself or to be your biggest fan?

It means you’re not waiting for someone else’s validation of your existence.

If this sounds like I’m glorifying or promoting selfishness, it’s because I am. But not in the, you shouldn’t care about other people kind of way.

When you choose and support yourself first, you’re able to give more of yourself to others. After all, you can’t give from an empty vessel.

The idea of being your biggest fan is a reminder that no matter what happens, you will always have your back. This doesn’t mean you don’t accept your faults and admit to the mistakes you make; it means you’ll love yourself despite them.

Choosing yourself can be scary at first because that’s not what most people are taught to do. Implicitly or explicitly, they’re always taught to be asking and thinking about how other people will perceive them. And so, instead of being themselves, they’re molded by the whims and wishes of those they interact with.

Learning to be your biggest fan can be a long journey because there might be habits and traits that you need to unlearn. You may well have to take baby steps as you learn to prioritize yourself while perhaps fending off pokes and barbs from others as you begin to establish a new version of yourself. A version of you that others will have to get used to.

So, you have some choices to make. You can either commit to being your biggest fan and choosing yourself or go through life waiting to be picked and chosen by others. One path leads to a solid, stronger foundation on which to continue your journey, and the other depends on the moods and vagaries of others. I hope that you choose the former’s security and not the latter’s instability.

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What image comes to mind when you hear the word student?

Maybe you think of a child in school or a young person making their way through post-secondary education.

But what about you?

Do you consider yourself to be a student?

If yes, then fantastic. If no, then why not?

Many people think of graduation from high school or post-secondary as the end of learning. They have an ‘I’m done with learning’ mindset. And while I understand the initial exuberance of being free from institutional learning, the idea of no longer having to study is very much a throwing the baby out with the bathwater situation.

Studying or intentional, continuous learning throughout life is a superpower you can call on at almost any stage in life. I wrote intentional learning because learning by accident will occur whether you like it or not.

Having a student mentality allows you to approach the world from a curious mindset, and it also allows you to be open to new ideas. While it might have killed the cat, curiosity is beneficial because it keeps you asking why, which moves you to look for novel and interesting ideas. Studies have also shown that curious people are happier and have increased satisfaction with life.

Being open to new ideas moves you from a fixed to a growth mindset. It also allows you to improve relationships because you’re more willing to hear other people’s points of view.

Embarking on a journey of intentional learning can be accomplished in many ways. Books, classes, both instructor-led or self-paced, offline or online, your choices are infinite. There’s really no excuse for not finding a path that fits your learning style. Of course, you must be willing to do so.

So, consider adopting or maintaining a student mindset no matter where you are in life. Find ways to make learning part of your life’s journey. Allow your curiosity to lead the way and enjoy all the benefits that come with being a life-long student.

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What will you tradeoff today?

Time for money?

Risk for security?

Socializing for rest?

I have some unfortunate news for you – you can’t have it all. I know there’s a prevailing message that you can have and be anything, and while there is some underlying truth to the statement, there’s a caveat – you’ll need to make sacrifices. Aka, tradeoffs.

There’s no getting around tradeoffs. They are choices you must make.

Why am I writing about tradeoffs?

Because it’s my attempt at rescuing you from frustration and disappointment.

Going through life expecting and thinking you can have and do it all will inevitably lead to disappointment. Regardless of how hard you work or attempt to manage your time, you will still be forced to make tradeoffs. And many times, you’ll have a gnawing feeling, wondering if you made the correct choice.

Fortunately for you, there are a couple of ways to alleviate some of the difficulties of making tradeoffs.

In my opinion, the first, and the best, is to define your beliefs and values. Once you’re able to prioritize what’s important to you, then you can make decisions that align accordingly. Making decisions that are congruent with what’s important to you is no guarantee that you’ll always be pleased with the tradeoff, but at least you’ll be able to rationalize your actions.

The second and more difficult way to deal with tradeoffs is to accept the limitations of life. I understand it’s easier said than done, but it can be liberating if done correctly. Coming to terms with the fact that you only have a finite amount of time and energy is a superpower you can cultivate to your advantage.

So, think about the tradeoffs you’ll need to make today and in the future. Remind yourself that try as you may; there will always be a gap between all you want to do and can do. Learning to get comfortable with the gap is where you’ll find peace of mind.

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Do you believe in the Galatea effect?

Don’t know what the Galatea effect is?

No worries. I only recently learned what it is and am now happy to share my knowledge with you.

The Galatea effect suggests that when we believe in our abilities to achieve a goal, the more likely we’ll be to achieve it.

It sounds straightforward and perhaps even an obvious statement. But an important one, nonetheless.

A quick side note. Notice the definition says more likely and not guaranteed, and it doesn’t provide a timeframe. So, essentially what it does is it increases the probability.

Believing in your ability to accomplish a goal doesn’t mean ignoring reality. For an exaggerated example. You might believe that you’re capable of performing a triple heart bypass, but if you have no training, then your odds are close to zero.

However, believing in yourself is one of the first steps to increasing your probability of achieving your goals. And yes, believing in yourself can be easier said than done, especially if you’re not used to doing so. It can require a practice of constant self-talk, quieting your internal voice of doubt, and reminding yourself that you are capable of accomplishing the goals you set for yourself.

If believing in yourself sounds to you a lot like faith, believing, and seeing the invisible, then you’re correct. Faith in yourself is a required ingredient in your progress.

So, now do you believe in the Galatea effect?

It’s, of course, a trick question.

If you don’t, then stop right here.

However, if you do, then double down on it. Remind yourself when you’re faced with challenges and obstacles that you do and always will believe and have faith in yourself.

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What would you call a person that finishes last in a competition?

A loser?

But are they really a loser?

Perhaps a better word would be a competitor.

You might think that I’m papering over the fact that the person lost their competition and I don’t want to hurt their feelings, which is partly true. However, from my point of view, the person had the courage to commit themselves to compete regardless of the outcome. Sure, they wanted to win, but they also knew there could only be one winner.

Why am I writing about competing and losing?

Because I want you to think about a time in your life when you’ve considered doing something new or different but have held yourself back because you thought you wouldn’t be as good as another person. You’ve created an internal narrative where you’ve told yourself that you wouldn’t compete because you don’t’ want to feel like, and even more daunting, look like a loser.

You’ve probably heard it said, but I’m going to remind you again that winners are not born winners. The people that win that get ahead are the ones that continue to compete regardless of the outcome. They know that losing is part of the process. They have internalized the notion that the only true losing is not competing.

I know I’m using the word competing, which is almost always associated with sports, but the definition of a competitor is broad and can cover many areas of life. And it doesn’t always mean competing with other people. Sometimes, your greatest competitor can be the previous version of yourself.

So, if you’re standing on a metaphorical sideline, think about participating in a new activity or role but are concerned that you won’t be as good as the experts or professionals in the field, remind yourself that the only real loser is the one that doesn’t compete.

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Humans think all the time. Our brains are constantly running, processing new information and new ideas. But do you ever think about your own thoughts? Which thoughts occur more often or less often? Which are negative, and which are positive?

Thinking about the things you don’t have or that you want consumes a lot of time and energy. And matter of factly, It’s more common to think about those thoughts than what you already have. Another thing that a majority of people think about is their past mistakes. They remember times when they embarrassed themselves or said the wrong thing. But have you ever stopped to think that if you are embarrassed by your past self, it means that you have grown as a person?

Lastly, a thought that is present in almost everyone’s mind is situations that they have zero control over. Some parts of life are meant to be lived, not controlled.  No matter what happens, no matter the outcome, you’re going to be just fine.  Let go of the things you can’t control. Instead, spend your thoughts and efforts controlling what you do have power over.

A big step that you can take is to change your mindset. Changing what you think can change what you feel and change what you do. Instead of spending time on what you don’t have, think about what you have and how grateful you are. Instead of thinking about past mistakes, think about what you can do in the future to prevent the same things from happening. I tend to get stuck on the past when I should keep looking to the future.

Changing your state of mind or mindset can help you see things differently and focus on the important things in your life and bring you joy.

P.S. This is a very special blog post. This morning, I was feeling a little under the weather, so I skipped writing my blog. Reyna (my daughter) asked me about my blog, and I explained my reason for not writing, and I told her. So, she took it upon herself to write a post for me. Words can’t describe how proud I am of her.

P.P.S. P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

What can you control?

I’ll give you a clue.

It’s a lot less than you think.

Why am I asking you about what you can control?

Because once you realize how much of life is out of your control, you can begin to focus only on that which you can control.

The only things you can control are your thoughts and actions. However, even your thoughts and actions will find ways to slip away from your control for most of your day.

Focusing only on what you can control takes effort and discipline. It’s very easy to get distracted and let your mind wander into the realm of all the things you wish you could control. Especially the idea of attempting to control other people’s actions – because that’s a losing proposition, and you’re almost guaranteed to be disappointed.

So how do you focus on what you can control?

You shift your attention from outcome to thoughts and actions you can control.

Since you can only control what you think and do, there’s very little to gain from spending energy on thinking about what might happen. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t plan or have goals or ideas about how you’d like life to be. It just means that once you’ve thought about the future, bring your attention back to what you can control.

So, as you go about your day, make a mental note, or if you’re so inclined, a physical list of all the things that are within and beyond your control. If you do this correctly, you’ll soon realize that the items listed under what you can’t control will quickly outnumber that which you can. Once you have your list, double down on controlling your thoughts and actions. Doing so will give you a greater sense of confidence when dealing with everything that’s out of your control.

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What is the most nonconformist act you’ve ever committed?

Of course, I’m not going to continue without helping you with the definition of nonconformist, so here it is—a person whose behavior or views do not conform to prevailing ideas or practices.

If your entire life has been built to seek approval from those that you consider authority figures, such as parents, teachers, and bosses, then the likelihood that you’ve stepped out of line is close to zero. All you’ve done is relegate yourself to a small box designed by anyone and everyone but yourself.

So, why am I asking you about nonconforming behavior?

Because I want to encourage you to step out of line.

That’s right. I want you to step beyond your current boundaries and break some rules.

Before I continue, let me be clear that I’m not recommending you break the law. I want you to break a manufactured, fictitious boundary.

Your small act of rebellion or nonconforming could be as simple as wearing mismatched socks or, if you’re a little more daring, having the courage to speak up regarding a social norm that you’ve quietly disagreed with.

You might be concerned that nonconforming might cause you to become an outcast. However, the truth is that whatever culture you currently belong to would be considered very foreign to any previous generation. And don’t forget, you can’t spell culture without the word cult – so to some extent, with or without our permission, by conforming, we’ve all committed to some degree of indoctrination.

So, as you go through your day today, find an opportunity to nonconform. Step out of your box and break a rule or two. Experience the fear, nervousness, and even perhaps excitement of committing an act that some might consider being nonconformist.

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Why does the grass seem greener on the other side?

It’s an age-old question. And hopefully, you realize that grass is a placeholder for the word life.

Fixating or thinking about how good other people have it or how well other people’s lives are going is a surefire way to ignore your own life. Think about this for a moment. For every minute you spend thinking about someone else’s life, you lose the opportunity to invest in your own life.

Yes, there are people that might have, subjectively speaking, better or different lives than you. But there are also many people that wish they had your life. The wonderful thing is that there is no competition or medals being given to the people with the best life.

Let’s return to the grass analogy for a moment. If you ask a master gardener how much effort is required to maintain lush green grass year-round, you might be surprised to hear the answer. A simple, small residential yard can take hours a week to ensure that the right amount of fertilizer, water, and weed control is applied for ideal growth and maintenance.

Are you willing to apply the same amount of diligence and time, not to your yard but to your life?

And what happens to grass that is neglected? It quickly becomes overgrown, and weeds that were waiting in the wings begin to take over. The same can happen to your life if you ignore it and spend your time admiring the life of other people.

So, while it’s okay to occasionally look over and admire the greener grass of other people’s lives, don’t do so at the expense of neglecting your own. Do all that you can to grow and maintain your own life. And not that it should be your goal, but who knows, yours might be the greener grass that others begin to admire.

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How will you know what you’re capable of?

Well, there’s only one way. And that’s to extend beyond your current boundaries or limitations.

There’s a sort of experiment that public speakers will do on occasion where they ask their audience to raise their hands. At first go, the audience halfheartedly participates. Some audience members raise their hands slightly off their laps, while others do so with elbows bent, just to show that they’re paying attention.

Then the speaker asks them to raise their hands a second time, with the command that they reach as high as possible. The second time around, audience members can be seen reaching for the ceiling with locked elbows and straight arms—a miraculous improvement of performance in a matter of seconds.

What happened or changed between the two requests?

The same audience members, but in some cases, a one hundred percent improvement in the results.

Why am I sharing this story with you?

Because I want you to think about where you are not raising your arm to your full capacity in your life.

Where are you only participating halfheartedly?

I agree that not every area of your life needs or even deserves one hundred percent of your energy all the time. And if you run at full speed all the time, eventually, you’d burn out. But where are the areas where you would begin to see more significant results if you stretch yourself just a little further?

You always have the choice in life of either just showing up and pretending to participate or committing to giving it your all. The one thing you might not realize is that the results you receive will be commensurate with the effort you exert.

So, think about where you’d benefit from a little or a lot more effort in your life. And if you think of an area where you’d like to see greater results, then commit to locking out your elbow and reaching for it.

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How often do you think about the second price?

What is the second price?

It’s what you pay after you’ve acquired or committed to something.

Perhaps said differently. Whatever you own owns a piece of you.

Acquiring the thing is usually the easiest part of the transaction. It’s the second price that can become burdensome over time. And in some extreme examples, it can be even more costly than the price you initially paid.

There’s an old adage that illustrates my point.

What are the two happiest days in a boat owners’ life?

The day you buy the boat and the day you sell the boat.

It’s not that the boat owner doesn’t enjoy a handful of days in between buying and selling the boat. It’s just that from a time and energy perspective, boat ownership can be a lot more expensive than expected.

Of course, the idea of a second price doesn’t apply only to boat ownership.

Here are a few additional examples of the second price.

Homes and cars have maintenance costs.

Items of clothing have cleaning and storage costs.

Relationships have time costs.

Learning a new skill has time costs.

I’m sharing the idea of the second price with you not to deter you from acquiring objects or committing to relationships but to make you aware of the potential additional costs you might incur.

So, the next time you think about purchasing something, committing to a new relationship, or learning a new skill, be aware of the hidden costs you’ll have to pay. Do this not necessarily to discourage you from acting, but more to prepare you for the future – the second price you’ll need to pay.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.