What’s on your permanent record?

You know the record your parents and teachers warned would follow you for the rest of your life.

While your parents and teachers were probably leveraging the threat of your permanent record to keep your behavior in line and to ensure you paid attention to your grades, the thing they weren’t telling you about was your reputation.

As you continue down the path of adulthood, you soon realize that all the attention to grades and GPA begins to matter less and less. However, your reputation becomes more important, to the point where it begins to precede you.

Now I’m not suggesting that paying attention to academics is not important in specific contexts. But I firmly believe that eventually, the kind of person you’re known as will be much more significant.

So, what kind of person do you want to be known as?

Once you know how you want to be thought of, you can get to work building and ultimately retaining a good reputation. Think of your reputation as your personal brand.

Notice that I’m not telling you the kind of reputation you should strive for, and that’s because it’s your decision. I’m just shining a light on the fact that many people forget that they have the opportunity to craft their reputation.

I must add that I can’t write about reputation and permanent records without addressing the era of digital ubiquity. In today’s day and age, where your digital footprint is an inextricable part of your reputation, you must be aware of your actions both in real life and online. So, proceed with caution.

So, think about the person you want to be known as, and act accordingly. Because eventually, your reputation will be the most important thing on your permanent record.

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How often do you engage in exposure therapy?

What is exposure therapy?

The definition of exposure therapy is “a technique in behavior therapy to treat anxiety disorders.” And the therapy is performed by exposure through a real-life situation.

You might think that you don’t suffer from anxiety, which could be true. But there’s also a probability that you don’t struggle with anxiety because you don’t allow yourself to be exposed to new or different ideas or situations. After all, it’s easy to feel comfortable and safe if life is somewhat predictable.

So, why should you consider exposure therapy?

Well, there are a few reasons.

Exposing yourself to new ideas stimulates creativity. When you encounter new information, your brain is forced to think differently. It’s as though you’re nudged out of your current rut and forced to build new pathways.

Closely related to the first reason, you can expose yourself to new ways of thinking by meeting and speaking with different kinds of people. Interacting with people that don’t share your background or views is a proven way to increase empathy because you soon learn that most people share the same desires but have different ways of fulfilling them.

Lastly, let’s revisit the idea of treating anxiety. So much of anxiety is rooted in the concern and fear of the unknown. And while this might sound obvious, exposure therapy is one step in making the unknown known.  

The most common ways of practicing exposure are flooding and systematic. Flooding is immersing yourself in an experience or situation. But if that sounds too overwhelming for you, then a systematic, step-by-step exposure might be a better option for you.

So, commit today to engage in your own version of exposure therapy. Make a conscious decision to stimulate your mind and body and feel yourself grow as you push yourself to encounter new ideas, people, and situations.

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Hello.

Did you respond with a hi or hello?

If you reciprocated with a hello, thank you.

In his best-selling book Influence, Robert Cialdini writes about the power of reciprocity, “reciprocity is the impulse we feel to return the favor after we are helped by someone or given value. That impulse not only inspires us to give back in equal measure but may in fact compel us to give back more value than we received in the first place.”

The key to reciprocity is that you must go first.

You must be willing put yourself out there, whether by word or deed, not knowing for sure if or how the other person will respond. And this can feel risky at times.

However, the more often you go first, the more you’ll experience people’s impulse to ‘return the favor.’

Why do people feel the need to return the favor? Because it’s a core survival mechanism. One of the reasons humans have survived for as long as we have is that we have learned to cooperate with each other. But to cooperate, someone needs to go first.

Are there people that will not reciprocate? Absolutely. But you’ll find the number of people that don’t will be surprisingly small.

While Cialdini wrote about reciprocity as a tool for influencing others, that’s not the only reason you should practice going first. Going first is about recognizing the humanity in the other person. It’s about acknowledging that we all share the same basic needs and desires. It’s a version of the South African greeting Sawabona, which translates to I see you. And who doesn’t want to be seen?

So, as you go about your day, take every opportunity to go first. See and recognize people with kindness and affection, and while there might be a few that won’t reciprocate, you’ll soon find the majority of them will, which means they’ll see you too.

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What are you doing to help yourself?

Although not the original author of the phrase, Ben Franklin wrote, “God helps those who help themselves.”

Now you might not be the religious type, but regardless, there’s wisdom buried in that quote.

Here’s a brief joke/story that illustrates the point.

A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local Preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.

“Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast.”

“No,” says the Preacher. “I have faith in the Lord. He will save me.”

Still the waters rise. Now the Preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.

“Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee’s gonna break any minute.”

Once again, the Preacher is unmoved. “I shall remain. The Lord will see me through.”

After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The Preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.

“Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance.”

Once again, the Preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.

And, predictably, he drowns.

A pious man, the Preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, “Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn’t you deliver me from that flood?”

God shakes his head. “What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter.”

As you can see from the story, there comes a time when you must act and help yourself.

It’s great to have a robust support system, and if you’re so inclined, faith in powers greater than you, but you still need to do your part. And doing your part doesn’t mean doing as little as possible to get by. It means exerting the additional effort required to get what you want out of life.

Of course, there are no guarantees that you’ll always get what you set out to accomplish, but you can be sure that you’ll be closer than if you had never tried.

So, think about what you want out of life and then exert just a little more effort to help yourself move closer to your goals. Who knows, once you try a little harder, you too might see metaphorical boats and helicopters appear to help you on your journey.

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When was the last time you just said no?

I understand that just say no might conjure up the image of Nancy Reagan and remind you of the anti-drug campaigns of the ’80s and ’90s, but this is not the just say no I’m suggesting.

I’m recommending a new just say no campaign for distractions.

One could argue that distractions are just as insidious as drugs because they too can delay or even derail you from what you’re trying to accomplish. Of course, I want to recognize that drugs can be worse for your physical well-being and potentially even deadly.

If you’re like most people, you’re playing a whac-a-mole all day long between your attention and distractions. You’re constantly being lured by pings and buzzes, all designed to nibble away at your mental bandwidth, leaving you with little time to accomplish what’s important to you.

So, what is the just say no to distractions?

It’s nipping the distraction in the bud. When you feel the urge to step away from a task, or distract yourself with some mindless action that you know will take you away from what you’re working on – just say no.

I know this might sound overly simplistic and even ridiculous, but it can be effective with enough practice.

Just saying no is about reclaiming the reigns of your attention. Staying with the horse analogy for a movement – it’s like putting blinders on so you can only focus on what’s ahead of you.

Like any other behavior change, saying no will take time to implement. At first, you could even experience withdrawal symptoms as you ween yourself from the distractions you’re accustomed to.

So, as you take your day today, identify the distractions that you can say no to. Resolve to take back your attention and stay focused on your priorities instead of letting yourself be distracted by the whims and wishes of others.

What’s the one decision you make that leads to all other decisions?

I’ll give you a minute to think about it.

Oh, and there’s a clue in the previous sentence.

Ready?

Here it is.

What to do with your time?

That’s it.

Sound too simplistic?

Maybe so.

But, if you think about it, you’ll soon realize that all you have is time.

I’m not suggesting there aren’t other important decisions you need to make. It’s just that they’re all layered on the foundation of time. Food, relationships, self-care, personal safety, and everything else you can think of, all consume time.

I agree that what I’m pointing out about time is not breaking news, but that’s not my role. I’m working to draw your attention to what might be apparent yet, overlooked.

Once you get to a certain age, you’re responsible for how you spend your time. There might be activities you think you must do, but that’s really not true. It’s just that if you don’t, the consequences might be more significant than you what you want to experience.

Let me quickly illustrate with an extreme example. You could choose not to spend your time eating, but if you do, then you’ll soon find yourself in poor health or even worse.

Now I don’t want to give you advice about what to do with your time because that’s personal for each individual. I just recommend you be aware of how you’re spending it.

So, be aware of how you’re spending your time today. Remember, it’s a finite resource and underpins everything you do. And one last thing. Thank you for spending some of your valuable time reading this post. Hopefully, you’ll feel it was time well spent.

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How would you rate your intellectual humility?

If you’re not sure what intellectual humility is, no worries, here’s the definition. Intellectual humility is “the recognition that the things you believe in might in fact be wrong.” Let that definition marinate in your mind for a moment or two.

Okay, hopefully, you’re back and weren’t deterred by the idea that you could, occasionally, be wrong.

You might be asking why is it important to be intellectually humble? Because it’s the first step to being open to new and different ideas. And, of course, there’s the obvious, no one person can be right about everything.

So, how do you cultivate intellectual humility?

I already provided you with the first step, which sounds simple, small, and easy enough, but is actually a giant leap that takes time and practice. But once you’re on board with the idea that you might be wrong, then you’re ready for the next step, which is being open to changing your opinions.

I know this second step may perhaps sound even more difficult than the first one. You’re probably even be thinking, first, you want me to admit being wrong, and now I should change how I feel. I know it’s a lot to digest, but I assure you that you will reap the benefits of both steps over time.

Admitting you might be wrong and changing your opinion will allow you to adapt to new and ever-changing ideas and environments. Acknowledging that you’re mistaken is similar to breaking a dam. It will enable new information to come flooding in. It increases the probability of you experiencing more aha moments.

Look, I know the idea of admitting you’re wrong isn’t easy and doesn’t sound like fun, but I implore you to give it a shot. You don’t have to let anyone know unless, of course, you want to that you’re working on challenging your current worldview. You can practice it in the privacy of your own mind.

So, as you go about your day today, see if you can find an opportunity to test your intellectual humility. Allow yourself to entertain the notion that what you believe might be wrong, and watch the world around you change as you change the way you see it.

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How will you waste time today?

That’s right. I want you to think about wasting time productively. I can feel you struggling with the dichotomy of my previous sentence. But that’s okay.

Look, we both know that you’ll waste some time today, and that’s okay because so will I. Whether it’s daydreaming, scrolling the internet, or any other time-wasting activity you might have.

Allowing yourself to spend some time letting your mind aimlessly wander might sound counterproductive, and it can be if it continues for too long, but it can also allow for much-needed rest and recovery.

Over the years, there’s been a vast body of work focused on being productive and getting things done, so much so that you might feel as though you need to be on task all day long, but that’s not possible. You’re not a machine. And even machines eventually need some downtime.

One of the hidden benefits of wasting time is that it might be an underlying symptom. You might be avoiding a task that you either don’t want to or can’t do for one reason or another, so you drag your feet and do something less productive. But quite often, it’s during the time-wasting, you can come up with a creative or different approach to help you complete your unwanted or unfinished task.

I realize that wasting time is not often viewed as a virtue and is rarely recommended, especially by productivity gurus, but that’s okay because each to their own. And I’m by no means suggesting that you waste all your time. What I am saying is that it’s okay sometimes to allow yourself to be off task.

So, the next time you find yourself wasting time, do so without guilt and use the opportunity to introspect and inquire why you’re wasting time. It might be that you’ll learn more about yourself during your time-wasting than when you’re being hyper-productive.

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What are your plans for the new year?

You must be thinking that I’ve lost my mind and while at times that might be debatable, today is not that day.

While I’m quite sure that March 18^th is not considered the beginning of the year in any culture or religion, that doesn’t mean that you can’t treat today or any other day as the start of a new year for you.

You see, the idea of a new year is filled with hope and the idea that this time the year will be different. But then life and inertia draw you back into the same old same old.

Let me quickly interrupt myself to say that if everything is working for you and your life is going as planned; you can skip reading and get back to it. However, if you’re just muddling through your days, hoping that someday things might change, then this might be that day.

Waiting for your life to change is like waiting for a train at a bus station – you’ll be waiting for a long time, or at least until a group of ‘very nice people’ show up and take you away, which is, of course, one way to institute change in your life. Come to think of it, quite a few people wait for change to happen to them instead of doing it themselves.

Hopefully, you’re not one of those people.

If you’re still reading, then I’m sure you’re not. You’re the kind of person thinking about and looks for ways to create change for yourself. And there’s one sure way to make a change in your life. Be resolute.

That’s right. Resolute, as in the new year’s resolution, but without waiting for a specific date on a calendar to do so. Today or any day you choose can be the beginning of a new year for you.

So, if you’re thinking about changing something in your life, then as the sages say, there’s no day like today. Commit yourself to your decision and make this your personal happiest new year.

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What are your standards for living?

You’ve probably heard of a standard of living, which is defined as the degree of wealth and material comfort available to a person or community. But what about standards for living?

Are you required to have standards for living? Absolutely not. But I highly recommend you consider having some for yourself.

Your standards for living are rules that you define and implement for yourself. They are your own personal guidelines about what you will and will not expect from yourself.

Holding yourself to a particular standard is one way to improve your overall quality of life. Setting standards can help you make decisions and eliminate uncertainty.

For example, let’s say you set a standard for yourself regarding your health. You could decide on a particular weight, size of clothing, or even the amount of sleep you define as beneficial for your health. Once you determine your standard, then you have a tangible goal to hold yourself accountable to. It’s your own personal standard.

Now you might ask if you can deviate from your standard, and the answer is yes, but if you do it too often, then it’s no longer a standard.

When you hold yourself to a specific set of standards, you’ll encounter resistance mainly in the form of people around you saying that you’re being too hard on yourself and that you should live a little, and you’ll have to decide whether you’re living for them or yourself. It will not be an easy decision to make, but if you want to improve the quality of your life, then you might need to sacrifice a relationship or two.

So, learn to set standards for yourself. View them not as a constraint on your life but as a tool to decrease the number of decisions you need to make and a way to improve your quality of life.

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How do you respond when someone disagrees with you?

Do you welcome the disagreement, or do you feel triggered and need to push back?

Your ability to handle opinions and points of view that don’t align with yours will be crucial to your social interactions. And, of course, your life, because life is a series of social interactions after all.

It’s natural to feel threatened when a person disagrees with you because they challenge and question your worldview, including your beliefs and values. At a subconscious level, you think that you must convince the person disagreeing with you to see the world your way, and they are probably feeling the same about you.

So, what happens when you’re at an impasse and neither party agrees?

Well, there’s the obvious answer: you no longer communicate with the other person, but if you continue down that path, you’ll live a very lonely existence.

There are a few ways to welcome and handle disagreements.

The first is that you can hold your point of view while entertaining a different or opposing point of view. Realizing that every time a person disagrees with you is not an attack on your beliefs allows you to be confident in your point of view and hear them out. When you jump to a defensive mode, you shut down your ability to truly hear what the other person is saying.

The second is a willingness to change your point of view. If you use it wisely, your ability and willingness to change your mind can serve you as a superpower. As the quote goes, “when events change, I change my mind. What do you do?”

Last is that you agree to disagree – respectfully. We do not all have to agree with each other to co-exist. Accepting the fact that everyone experiences and sees life differently and yet, make an effort to get along despite our differences.

So, the next time you find yourself in a situation where someone disagrees with you, remind yourself that there’s a high probability that it’s not a personal attack on you. It’s just that they see the world differently than you do. And if you can’t find a solution to the disagreement, then at least you can respectfully agree to disagree.

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How much time do you spend in day-tight compartments?

Before I go on, I should probably explain what a day-tight compartment is. Of course, if you already know, feel free to read on.

A day-tight compartment is a phrase coined by Sir William Osler in the 1800s and is best described by the British philosopher Thomas Carlyle, “Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance but to do what lies clearly at hand.” Perhaps said more simply, live or focus on today, not what you think might happen tomorrow.

If you ever struggled with anxiety, you know that it can almost become paralyzing at times, to the point where you don’t know what to do next. Anxiety also tends to amplify your perception of future scenarios, and you might find yourself continuously asking yourself what else could go wrong?

Osler began thinking about day-tight compartments to alleviate his constant anxiety and stress about what might happen in the future. He began to focus his attention on the day at hand and living it to its full potential.

I understand that transitioning from worrying about the future to focusing on today can sound like a difficult task, but with practice, it’s possible. And if you can’t do it all the time, at least if you manage to accomplish it some of the time, you could turn down the heat on your anxiety from a rolling boil to a slow simmer.

Let me be clear that not thinking about tomorrow doesn’t mean eliminating the idea of goal setting or planning for the future. It means once you set goals or make plans, then shift your focus to what you can do today and only today – in the day-tight compartment.

So, begin to learn to day-tight compartmentalize your days. Tamp down your anxiety by shifting your focus from what you think might happen in the future to what you can accomplish today.

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How often do you think about compound interest?

If not compound interest, then what about compound effort?

History has it that Albert Einstein once said, “Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Those who understand it, earn it… those who don’t, pay it.”

While compound interest might be the eighth wonder of the world, compound effort is not very far behind—perhaps the ninth or tenth wonder of the world.

The wonderful thing about compound effort is that unlike compound interest, which is limited to finance, it can be applied to any area of your life.

The problem or challenge with compound effort, like its close cousin compound interest, is that you can rarely feel or see any measurable results in the early stages. And because you can’t see any results, you’re more likely to discard your efforts before they take root. Consider the acorn that has the potential to become an oak tree. If you had never seen an oak tree, then it would be difficult to fathom that such a small seed could one day become such a magnificent tree.

Another challenge with compound effort is that you rarely see a fixed or linear rate of return. In fact, your return or results are almost guaranteed to fluctuate between times when you feel like you’re making progress and times when you feel as though you’re standing still or, even worse, moving backward.

It’s when you feel as though you’re not making any progress that requires you to have faith. I know faith is an esoteric concept, and if you’re a hard-charging, A-type personality, then it’s difficult to wrap your brain around something as squishy as faith. But I can almost guarantee you that if you exert effort in any area of your life, then deep down, you have faith that it will yield results.

So, take Einstein’s advice and learn to understand the benefits of compound effort. When you begin to use the power of effort over time to change or improve any area of your life, you’ll eventually be able to reap the fruits of your labor.

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What’s the difference between fearless and fear less?

The definition of fearless is, one that lacks fear. If this describes you, then you have a superpower, but you must wield your fearlessness with great care like any other superpower. A tiny percentage of the population is indeed fearless, and while being so might bode well for them, they also tend to put themselves and others in harm’s way.

On the other hand, fearing less is a skill you can learn to develop. Fearing less is about controlling your anxiety and in some cases, rewriting or reimagining future outcomes.

In many cases, fear usually starts as anxiety. Now there are some people that are predisposed to anxiety due to a chemical imbalance or exposure to traumatic experiences. Fortunately, there are medicines and self-help techniques that can help manage anxiety.

The journey to fearing less first begins with recognizing your tendency to leap to worse case scenarios. One way to prevent this leap is to alter your perspective by writing out the worst-case scenarios you’re imagining. Doing so allows you to identify or name your fears. You’ll often find that just shining a light on you what you’re fearing helps you either come up with solutions to mitigate your fear or realize that your fears are unfounded.

Fear is also very closely tied to your desire to control outcomes. Learning to fear less lies in your ability to let go of situations and be okay with uncertainty. I know, it’s easier said than done, but still very possible.

Learning to fear less is not about adopting a false sense of bravado. It’s about personal growth and allowing yourself to experience more of life.

So, set yourself on a path to fearing less. Learn to tamp down your anxiety by realizing that almost everything you fear is based upon your thoughts of an imagined outcome. Give yourself a chance to explore the opportunities that exist on the other side of fear.

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If you were struck with amnesia today, who would you be?

While I sincerely hope that you never suffer from any sort of memory loss, the question makes for an interesting thought experiment.

Everything you are today is tied to who you believe and think you are. But, if you were struck with amnesia, then your entire identity would be lost. You would still exist physically, but mentally, you’d be close to a blank slate. Imagine that. Your mind wiped clean and ready to be reprogrammed.

Where would you begin if you had the opportunity to reprogram your mind?

What would you add or eliminate?

I know this sounds a little farfetched but play along for a moment. Remember, it’s only a thought experiment.

By the way, if you’re hesitating or not willing to release yourself from reality for a moment or two, then that might be a trait you’d consider eliminating.

I’m asking you to play along with this thought experiment because I want you to experience how invested you are in your current identity. And bring to light the idea that you believe your current personality is carved in stone and cannot be changed.

But you can change. If you want to.

A quick personal note. At times I think change should be written like this, c-h-a-n-g-e. To emphasize that change is a process, and the dashes between the letters are steppingstones on the journey.

Pretending or adopting temporary amnesia is one way to create change in your life. You can ‘forget’ how you’ve responded in the past and try a different approach. Doing so will feel uncomfortable at first, but the discomfort is the feeling you’ll get when you’re on the dashes between the letters of change.

So, the next time you’re faced with a situation where you think you’d benefit from acting differently, consider forgetting how you’ve behaved in the past. Take a step in the direction of a new version of yourself, one that knows change is possible.

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How often do you ask yourself; I wonder what they meant when they said that?

The moment you ask yourself that question is when the stories begin.

What stories?

The stories where you begin to create your own narrative about what you think happened next.

Let me give you an example with this story prompt.

Once upon a time…

How many different directions can you take the prompt I gave you?

If you’re the creative type, there’s almost an infinite number of endings to the prompt. And if you don’t consider yourself to be creative, there are still numerous directions you can take the story.

The interesting thing about the story prompt is that I can ask you to make up a story and you’ll do so based on a variety of factors.

Here’s a shortlist that will influence your storytelling: your life experience, values, creativity, even the information and the media you’ve recently consumed. You’ll also create different stories based on the mood you’re in when I ask you.

So, back to my original question.

When you begin to wonder what a person meant by what they said, your mind begins to tell you stories. And while you might guess correctly, the probability of you doing so is extremely low. But, and in many cases, and unfortunately, you’ll begin to convince yourself that you think you know what they meant. And this is dangerous territory because then you act and respond according to what you think they said.

You respond to the story based upon your own assumptions – no evidence, just your mind in creative mode.

I share this with you because while it’s nearly impossible to stop creating stories about what you think a person meant by what they said, it is possible to remind yourself that your mind is doing its job by filling in the blanks of an unfinished story. What the person said is a version of, once upon a time.

So, the next time you find yourself thinking about what a person meant by what they said, take a moment to remind yourself that whatever you think next will be a story. It will be a story based on the factors I listed and many more. And you have a choice about which direction you want to take the story or make the decision not to assume and leave the story unfinished.

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Do you know what’s true about the lottery?

If you don’t play, you can’t win.

I know this sounds like I’m stating the obvious. But the reason I’m stating the obvious is that the same can be said about life.

If you don’t engage, participate, or play in life, then you can’t win.

The most significant difference between playing to win the lottery and winning in life is that the lottery has the same prize for everyone. In contrast, life’s rewards are different for each player.

Winning in life doesn’t necessarily mean medals, trophies, or even monetary gains. Although it could. Winning in life is more about how you feel.

Winning in life for you could be accomplishing goals, maintaining healthy relationships, helping other people, or any different number of things. You get to choose what makes you feel like a winner.

Feeling like a winner is all about you expressing your potential. It’s about you tapping into that part of you that only you know exists and is waiting to manifest from possibility to reality.

Here’s a great quote known as Man in the Arena by Theodore Roosevelt that encapsulates the idea of playing at life.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

So, ask yourself today if you’re playing at life or watching it go by. If you’re pursuing the things you want or selling yourself short. Remind yourself that life is like the lottery. If you don’t play, you can’t win.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

When was the last time you stepped away?

Away from what?

Away from the pressure and stress of daily life.

Before I continue, let me say that I understand stepping away is not a luxury everyone can afford, and there will be times when it’s not going to be an option.

Stepping away is not about leaving for days or weeks. It’s about taking a break. It’s about reconnecting with yourself. Think of it as a mental and, in some cases, physical reset.

You might have heard the joke or, in some cases, the truth, that if you’re having trouble with an electronic item such as a computer or TV, the best thing to do is to re-boot it. Well, think of stepping away as your own reboot.

I know the idea of stepping away might be difficult to digest, especially in today’s age of powering through and getting things done. Still, I can almost guarantee that even those that espouse those ideas take time to step away.

If the idea of stepping away doesn’t sit well with you, then let me reframe it to make it more palatable.

When you step away, you give yourself the opportunity to refresh and be even more productive when you return. You might even return with new perspectives that will enable you to be more effective.

Stepping away is not about running away from your problems. That’s rarely ever possible. It’s about admitting that you’re human. And if you know anything about humans, then you know that we’re not designed to always be on the go. In fact, our ancestors were more in tune with nature and behaved like animals in the sense that most of the day was spent at rest.

Learn to give yourself permission to step away. Leave it all behind for as long as you can, which could mean before something falls apart or breaks, or someone files a missing person report.

Look, I don’t want to end on a down note, but I want to give you some perspective. The reality is that one day, you and I will both step away forever, and the world will continue to revolve.

 So, for all the things you think won’t get done without you, maybe they will, and maybe they won’t. But at least while you’re here, step away and take time for yourself.

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What do you do when you’re faced with the opportunity to change or stay the same?

During the course of your life, you will encounter many opportunities to change or stay the same, and each time you will have to decide which path to follow.

Almost always, the easy answer will be to stay the same. While the answer might be easy, the consequences of staying the same might not be in your long-term best interests.

Change, of course, brings along its own set of challenges. Fear of the unknown, fear of criticisms, fear of failure, and fear of rejection from others are just a few that I can think of.

Just the thought of choosing between changing and staying the same can almost cause you to freeze and do nothing – but of course, you know doing nothing is staying the same in disguise.

Changing can be a long journey both externally and internally. Actually, if you lean in close, I’m going to let you into a little secret. Your internal journey of change never ends. Even if you reach specific externally defined goals and achievements, there will still be a part of you, albeit tiny, that will refuse to believe you’ve changed.

I want to clarify that staying the same is also a valid option. There’s no rule or requirement to change if you don’t’ want to. One warning, though, if you choose the stay the same, you will struggle as the world around you changes because you’ll continue to wish that everyone and everything else stays the same.

So, the choice is yours. Change or stay the same. Or do both. Go on the journey to change the things you don’t like about yourself, and keep aka, stay the same in the areas that are working for you.

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How often do you choose your own adventure?

If you’re familiar with the genre of choose your own adventure books, then you know that they’re based on decisions you get to make while reading the story. And how the story ends depends upon the choices you make.

Quick segue – if you’re not familiar with choose your own adventure books, I highly recommend you read one.

Choosing your own adventure is all about making decisions while being uncertain about the outcome. While this might sound unsettling, if you think about it, then you’ll quickly realize that only a tiny percentage of the decisions you make have guaranteed outcomes.

Choosing your own adventure is about intentionally stepping into the unknown – it forces you to pay attention. It’s about leaving the path of fictional guaranteed results and exploring new ways of being and doing.

When you lean into choosing your own adventure, you’ll begin to develop new skills, and your perspective of life and how you view the world around you will begin to change. And unlike the books, there’s no going back to where you started.

Choosing your adventure is not something I recommend you do daily because that would lead to a chaotic and unpredictable existence, and that wouldn’t be helpful for your mental or physical well-being. But it’s absolutely something I recommend you do on a regular basis, even if it means scheduling it on your calendar.

So, commit today to make time to choose your adventure. Start out small if you need to. Perhaps even something as harmless as driving an unfamiliar route or speaking with a stranger. Anything that you’re unprepared for and makes you a little nervous. Shift your life from the ho-hum of knowing what’s next to the oh wow, excitement of choosing your own adventure.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.