Posted on by Raj Daniels

Setbacks

What defines us is how well we rise after we fall. Zig Ziglar

Imagine for a moment if a soccer player attempted to score a goal, missed, and then walked off the field.

Sound a little ridiculous?

Because it is.

It’s not what we expect the soccer player or any other athlete to do. We expect the players to push on until the end, even if there’s little to no chance that they’ll win. And once the season is over we expect them to come back and do it all over again the next year.

We expect the companies that we admire to compete quarter after quarter, year after year regardless of the state of the economy.

There’s a deep admiration for the level of persistence and tenacity we have for individuals when they are facing setbacks.

Almost everyone loves the story of the comeback kid, or the underdog. The story of the person that doesn’t quit, regardless of the setbacks they encounter.

What if you could make this your story?

What if you make an agreement with yourself that you too will never give up, regardless of the setbacks you encounter?

This doesn’t mean you stick with failing projects regardless of what happens, or you continue do things that aren’t bringing you fulfillment. What it means is that you develop an inner strength and resilience towards the setbacks you encounter.

You become the comeback kid, the revered underdog of your own story. You learn to pick yourself up, take the time you need to recover from your setback and commit to moving forward again.

Understand that missing goals is part of life; just learn to stay on the field after you do so.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Your Scars

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” ― Kahlil Gibran

Where are your scars?

If you’ve lived at all you will accumulate scars. And each scar will have a story.

Scars are the consequences of emotional and physical wounds.

Some scars will be visible, products of accidents and procedures and easy to explain.

Other scars will be invisible, caused by emotional experiences and complicated relationships.

Wounds caused by physical encounters will in most cases heal quite rapidly because nature has a wonderful way of doing her work if you let her.

However, emotional wounds will not scar unless you let them.

You might choose to leave them open a little longer so that they remind you of your experience. Maybe you never want to forget the joy or pain you went through, so you let the wound stay open just a little longer before it scars.

And yes, joy can cause emotional scarring too. Many a broken heart is the result of such intense joy and pleasure that leave a vacuum for pain to fill when they’re gone.

Life is an emotional battlefield and the likelihood that you will go through it unscathed is very slim. Your scars will serve as emotional braille, read them to remember your experiences, both good and bad.

Ultimately your accumulation of emotional and physical scars will be your reminder that you were here and took all that life had to offer.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

How Are You?

You are never alone - the universe

How do you respond when you’re asked ‘how are you?’

Great.

Good.

Okay.

Or

Not so good.

Struggling.

Having a hard day.

Current culture tends to reward the positive responses, and media has shaped people’s minds in to thinking that you should always be happy and feeling great, and if you’re not then something must be wrong with you.

So how are you supposed to respond when you’re not having a good day?

It can be challenging and depends on who you want to share your struggles with. For some, admitting to struggles is a sign of weakness, so they choose to live behind a thin veneer of pretense. The truth is that everyone has hard days and challenges they are dealing with. That’s just part of the human condition.

Answering the ‘how are you question’ can also be a little tricky because you have to gauge the person that’s asking you the question. Are they asking just to be polite or do they really care and want to know?

If you feel they’re just asking to be polite then the choice is yours but if you think they really care then if you’re having down day, venture to share the truth.

Allowing yourself the freedom of expressing how you really feel can be difficult because there is a fear that you’ll be judged, but keep in mind that you’ll be judged either way. Everyone knows that no one is always great, so when you have the opportunity and safety to share how you really feel then do so. You might just give someone else a safe place to share how they really feel too.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with someone you love.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Failure Proof

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Ralph Waldo Emerson

There’s a great way to failure proof your life.

It takes years to perfect but if you work really hard at it you’ll soon become an expert.

So, are you ready to become and expert in failure proofing?

Are you willing to put in the time?

Are you ready to follow every instruction?

Are you ready to sacrifice your life in order to become failure proof?

Are you ready to commit?

Don’t read on until you’re really ready to do so.

Ready.

Set.

Stop.

That’s right.

Stop.

Don’t move.

Not even a muscle.

Just stay right where you are.

I guarantee you’ll never fail.

Unless of course you fall over, because then you’ve failed at being still.

Look, the reality is that if you’re human then failure is inevitable. However, the stories you create around failure are up to you.

Tripping and falling while walking is technically failing at walking, but you’d get back up and continue walking and probably wouldn’t think twice about it. That’s because in your mind your story about tripping while walking is that it’s just part of the process.

Well, so is failure in other parts of your life.

It’s just part of the process.

So don’t work on failure proofing.

Work on resilience.

Change your perspective of failure and see it as learning, as experience and not as something that prevents you from trying.

Realize that attempting to failure proof your life is a fool’s errand, and is ultimately impossible.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Invitation to Think

Do you accept every invitation you receive?

I’m going to guess that you don’t.

You probably evaluate each invitation and then prioritize based on your desire to attend and how much time you have.

What about when it comes to your thoughts?

Your subconscious serves you with thousands of thought invitations a day. And while you don’t have control over most of them you can actually choose some of the ones you want to engage with.

With practice you can learn to disengage from thoughts that create clouds of negativity and cause you discomfort.

You can actually pursue personally empowering thoughts.

You can practice by meditating, praying or even sitting in silence for a few minutes. By taking some time to monitor your thoughts you’ll come to realize just how many are being generated automatically.

If you choose to practice, you will quickly learn that your mind is not always serving you with what’s best for you, and that you don’t have to accept every thought invitation it sends you.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you like this and would like to support me, please forward it to a friend.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

When it’s Inconvenient

What do you do when it’s inconvenient to?

Fulfill a promise

Stick to a diet

Wake up early

Finish a project

Not abiding by commitments not only creates issues with others but it also erodes your own view of yourself. Even if the commitment is internal and no one will ever know, not staying committed will affect your confidence to accomplish in the future.

The ability to execute especially when it’s inconvenient gives you a sense of pride and confidence to not only take on future endeavors but also know that when things get difficult you have the mental fortitude to see them through.

When you find yourself making excuses because it’s inconvenient to do something, stop and consider if this kind of person you want to be known as, not to others but to yourself.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Small Changes

What’s the next thing about you that you plan on changing?

Oh, wait. You hadn’t planned on changing anything? Well that’s okay because change is going to happen anyway, regardless of if you’re ready or not. So why not decide which changes you want to make?

You’ve probably heard that the only thing constant about life is change and this is so true, but what if all the changes weren’t random. What if you could choose some of the changes?

Making big changes is a difficult endeavor because usually the bigger the change the longer it takes for you to adapt to it. One of the keys to making effective change is making a small change as possible. If you doubt that small change is effective then the next time you’re driving turn the steering wheel just a little and see what happens.

When you get in the habit of intentionally making changes in your life you’ll have a greater sense of control over yourself. And this sense of control will give you peace of mind and a feeling of power when you encounter external change.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Your way?

How much energy do you put in proving your way of doing something is right and others are wrong?

What do get from your effort and where did ‘your way’ come from?

When you choose to argue because you think you’re right you are only doing so based on the information you believe to be correct and so is the other person. So, essentially you’re both correct in in your own way.

If you research any profession you will find that even information that people have considered factual and founded on scientific evidence has changed over time based on new information.

Now there’s a big difference between being correct and having a preference for how you want something to be, and when you realize this your life will change. It will change because you will no longer be attempting make the other person feel inferior for their preferences.

The question of being right or being happy is a popular one and perhaps your happiness is tied to you being right. However, that also means that you’re invested in saying others are wrong. So the next time you find yourself in a situation where you’re attempting to impose what you think is right ask yourself if you’re really right or is this just your way, and how you’d like things to be.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Relationship Budget

What is your relationship budget?

Do you have one?

How do you allocate your time and energy to the people that mean the most to you? Do you give them the left over time you have at the end of the day or a week? Or do you prioritize them and invest in them frequently?

Relationships that aren’t prioritized will naturally erode over time. The unfortunate thing is that they will dissolve not out of malice but lack of attention.

If you wouldn’t expect your bank account to magically accumulate money over time then don’t expect the same from your relationships. Invest intentionally in your relationships by being present and undistracted. You can choose how much time you want to invest based on your experience, and then get in the habit of setting aside that time to nurture the relationships that are important to you.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Your Days

This is your day.

It’s the one you’ve been waiting for your whole life. It’s the day you commit yourself to achieving everything you want to.

Or maybe it’s not your day. Perhaps it’s the day you decide to give away? It’s the day you decide to give to all the other distractions vying for your attention. It’s the day that will disappear like all the other days.

I know, you’re busy and you can’t commit an entire day for yourself.

What about the next five minutes? Can they be yours? Or will those too become part of another lost day?

Carving out small chunks of time just for you doesn’t have to be an all or none proposition. As little as 30 minutes of uninterrupted time will make a huge difference in your life.

Don’t let all your days slip away with the misguided notion that you don’t have time. Find your time, make your time, fight for your time. These are your days.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

What are you moved to do?

Is there a particular vocation or hobby that you’ve always sensed that you might be good at? Are there one or two things that you’ve always been curious about but have never taken the time to explore?

If you really don’t know what moves you  or have buried it so deep that you have forgotten, then a good question to ask yourself is, if there were no financial or time constraints what would you spend your time doing? Then using pen and paper write down the answers to this question.

Creating space and opportunity is an excellent first step for you to discover or even re-discovering a passion on interest that you have. And once you do, you can begin to align your life in a way that allows you to spend at least a small amount of your time doing what you are naturally driven towards.

Aligning yourself, even for short periods of time with things that interest you is one of the best things you can do for yourself and for those around you

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Greener grass

Do you know what it takes to maintain the metaphoric ‘greener grass’ that you admire?

How much time and effort it took to grow the grass? And, what if the grass is not as green as you think it is? What if it just looks that way?

The tendency to want what others have has been linked to a deep seeded survival mechanism that was prevalent when resources were scarce for humans. However, nowadays it’s more likely to be tied to self-esteem. It is the measuring of one’s self-worth against the imagined life of others.

When you see someone’s life that you admire consider the tradeoffs of time, money, education etc. that they have made and ask yourself if you’d be willing to do the same. And if the answer is yes, then go for it.

It’s easy to fall in to the feeling of seeing other people’s lives as better than your own, especially in today’s hyper connected age. But keep in mind that there’s also someone out there looking and wishing they have the life you have.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Mindless accumulation

What do you have that you don’t need?

Why do you have it? Why does it occupy space in your home?

Do you keep it ‘just in case?’ How many times has there been a ‘just in case’ when you’ve needed to use it?

The mindless accumulation of things is a symptom of a deeper problem. Mindless accumulation is tied directly to temporary, in the moment happiness. If you think about you will realize that that a thing, an inanimate object rarely holds the power to give you happiness. If it did then every time you walked into your home everything you owned would make you happy.

There are probably a handful of items that provide pleasant memories but most of what you own just takes up physical space and even worse, sometimes it even occupies your mental space.

The constant need to possess is a vicious cycle because ultimately you become owned by your possessions. So, the next time you feel the need to buy one more thing, really ask yourself, why am I buying this and what need am I looking to fulfill? Perhaps you’ll end up with less stuff but more answers.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Yet

When you’re challenged with a difficult task or problem how do you respond? Do you balk at the first sign of a challenge because you immediately question your abilities?

Is your usual response an ‘I can’t do that, or I’m not good at that?’

What if you ended your self-doubt by adding ‘yet’ to the end of your thought?

So your new response would be, ‘I can’t do that yet or I’m not good at that yet.’ How would this one small change in vocabulary affect your approach?

The word yet can be life changing. Get in habit of using the word yet in your thinking when you doubt your ability to meet a challenge. It will signal to you the possibility of progress and increases your confidence when tackling new challenges.  It will help you transform how you see yourself and your current set of abilities.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Heroes

Who do you think of when you hear the word hero, movie stars, athletes, musicians? What about everyday people that walk among you?

Last week I met someone that I would consider a hero.  I met an individual whose spirit, determination and attitude that I admire and seek to emulate.

As we started our conversation we exchanged the usual, how are you? And I responded with ‘any morning I wake up is a good day because above ground is always better than the alternative.’ He responded with a similar answer but ended it with “especially since I’ve experienced almost dying.” So I asked him to elaborate.

He shared that he was in the second Gulf War and was shot 5 times. As if that wasn’t’ shocking enough he then went on to share that he was shot as he jumped out of a plane attempting to parachute in to enemy territory and that they also shot his parachute, causing him to fall 800 feet to the ground as his parachute spiraled out of control. He hit the ground bounced a couple of times and then lay there for several hours before being rescued. It was a miracle that he survived.

Fast forward 20 years and he’s earned 7 degrees and is working on his 8th. One degree being in ballroom dancing, against all odds because he had been shot in his knees and was told he would never walk again. He’s also started several businesses and now he is giving his time back by mentoring business owners.

I was inspired by him and this post is dedicated to all the other everyday heroes that that we encounter in our lives. The ones that have endured more than most could ever imagine and have now found pursuits bigger than themselves. The ones we should all aspire to be like.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

ROI

What do you expect from the time you invest in a relationship?

What do you expect from the love you invest in your children?

What do you expect from the money you invest in a business or the stock market?

What do you expect from the investment in your health?

What do you expect from all of your investments? What do you expect from them, and what happens to you after you make the investments?

The good news and the bad news is the returns you expect are rarely the returns you get.  Sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down.

Does this mean you shouldn’t invest time, emotions and money? Well, it might. And that will depend on your tolerance for uncertainty and how you respond when things don’t go as expected.

If returns and results were guaranteed in any area of life then the world would be perfect, and boring. The one guaranteed return from your investments will be your experience. And how you respond to your experience will dictate your future investments.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Influence your thinking

Who or what do you think influences how you think, family, friends, the media?

Your thoughts are influenced by whatever you put your attention on. So whatever you expose yourself to on a daily basis will overtime drive your thinking, whether you admit it or not.

Your brain absorbs so much information in a subliminal manner and you’re often unaware of all the information being stored. That’s why advertisers keep showing and playing the same ads over and over, because they know that even though you think you’re ignoring them, your brain is in fact storing them.

There will be times when you cannot avoid information or stories that lead you to think about things that bring you down. However, if you want to experience strong, positive uplifting thoughts then you should make a conscious effort to expose your mind to information that will help you lead such a life.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Self-care

Do you have a self-care program? A system where you take time to prioritize yourself or have you chosen to sacrifice your well-being for others?

You’re probably familiar with the overplayed airline message of ‘put on your own mask before attempting to help others,’ but there is so much truth to this.

If you don’t take invest time in self-care then not only are you less effective for yourself, but also towards those whom you want to help.

When you prioritize caring for yourself not only will you benefit mentally and physically, you will also reap psychological and emotional benefits too.

Self-care doesn’t have to consist of hours of self-indulgence; it can be accomplished in just a few minutes a day. A few minutes set aside to breathe, to think, to move, to eat right all in order to replenish and rejuvenate your mind and body which will ultimately do wonders for you.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Inspire others

Do you actively find ways to inspire others? Do you use words of encouragement do drive them towards their goals?

If you’ve ever been inspired by the words or actions by another person then you know how good it feels, so why not seek out ways to inspire others?

Inspiring others doesn’t mean being fake and supporting them in their every endeavor. However it does mean that you take time to listen and you learn to deliver constructive criticism and provide them with confidence to move forward.

You can also inspire other by genuinely celebrating their success and just as important, being there when they fail and not being the one to say, I told you so.

Inspiring others is ultimately a selfish act because when you make others feel good you too feel good about yourself and there is nothing wrong with that. The definition of the word inspire is to ‘breathe life in to,’ so why not be the on that breathes life in to those around you?

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Not good enough

Do you hesitate to try something new because you think you’re ‘not good enough?’ Well, you’re probably right, and that’s okay.

The feeling of not being good enough to even try something is like an invisible cage that prevents you from experiencing new and exciting things.  And the thing about this feeling is that it never goes away, it will be there every time you think about trying something new or different.

The trick is to embrace the feeling, acknowledge that you’re not good enough and that is exactly why you are going to move forward realizing all the while that even when you get better you’ll still feel as though you’re not good enough.

Don’t let the feeling of not being good enough hold you back. The truth is you’re already good enough to start anything.