How can you navigate the fine line between accepting who you are and yet, working on improving yourself?

Whenever you think about self-improvement, you’re sending a subtle message that you’re not happy or satisfied with aspects of who you currently are. And if you’re not careful, your messages to yourself can be overly self-critical and disparaging. But on the other hand, if you don’t motivate yourself to improve, then there’s a chance that you’ll fall into to trap of complacency.

While there’s no one answer to the predicament of accepting and also looking for ways to improve who you are, there are steps you can take to help you manage the challenge.

Self-acceptance begins with learning to accept yourself regardless of whether others accept you or not. So much about how you feel about yourself has been transmitted to you, without your implicit approval, by people you’ve spent most of your life with. Parents and close friends, especially during your formative years, are significant contributors to how you feel about yourself and often lead you to feel conditionally accepted. And as you go through life, you carry this feeling of, if only I do or accomplish a particular goal or task, can you accept yourself.

The feeling of conditional acceptance can be a strong influencing factor in your seeking self-improvement. Essentially, it’s a message you send yourself saying that you’re working to improve yourself, not for the sake of improvement, but because you’re not good enough or don’t accept who you are.

Transitioning from conditional to full acceptance of who you are allows you to build a strong foundation upon which you can now begin to improve.

So, then next time you find yourself thinking about improving an area of your life, ask yourself if you’re doing it to fill a void left by conditional approval or because it’s something you want to do for yourself. You’ll find that if you’re trying to fill a hole, your efforts will be futile, and you’ll always be looking down. But, if the improvement is for yourself, you’ll be moving upward, and the sky’s the limit.

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