How long should you hold a grudge?

An hour, a week, a month, a lifetime?

How much energy does it take to hold a grudge?

Think about it for a moment. To hold a grudge, you must spend energy reminding yourself of how you were wronged by the person you’re holding a grudge against. That’s mental energy you’re spending on someone that may or may not care or even know that you’re holding a grudge against them.

Holding a grudge is the mental equivalent of carrying a heavy backpack around with you while you go about your day. At first, you feel the weight of the backpack but eventually, you get used to it and don’t realize just how heavy it is until you put it down.

Now I’m not suggesting you become a benevolent doormat and allow people to walk all over you without recourse. And to prevent becoming a doormat, you can set your rules and boundaries of the behavior you will and will not accept from others.

Letting go of a grudge can be difficult, especially if you keep replaying to yourself the action the person took or perhaps how they disrespected you but try to keep in mind that how you think you should be treated is your own rules, and not the rules that others play by. They have their own rules they live by.

So, the next time you find yourself offended by the actions of another, remind yourself that holding a grudge against that person is a choice you’re making. And the reality is that the grudge your holding is a story you’re continuously telling yourself and you can if you choose, change the story, and drop the grudge anytime you want to.

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