How do you handle the gap between how the world is and how you want it to be?

Navigating the difference between how things are and how you’d prefer them to be is one of the greatest life skills you can develop. But it’s not an easy skill to learn.

By the way, before I go on, let me point out the obvious. The gap between how life is versus how you want it to be is and will forever be your greatest source of frustration. I use the word frustration, but that’s only the tip of the emotional snowball, which if not controlled can and will develop into a whole slew of negative emotions.

So how do you handle the gap between how things are and how you wish them to be?

Change your perspective.

I’m almost sure this isn’t the answer you’re looking for, but I guarantee that in many cases, changing your perspective will very quickly eliminate the dissonance you’re experiencing. Obviously, changing your perspective is not a panacea broad-brush solution for every issue, but it can be very helpful, especially for trivial issues.

Think of changing your perspective as the old breaking-up meme, it’s not you, it’s me.

Instead of blaming others, or the ‘outer’ world for situations that aren’t how you wish them to be, take ownership and reframe your own perspective. Remind yourself, it’s not them, it’s you. Let me be clear, this is not a license for you to take the blame or victimize yourself for every mishap that you encounter. It’s a tool to help you alleviate some of life’s petty frustrations.

So, the next time you find yourself getting worked up over how you wish things were versus how they are, try changing your perspective by reminding yourself, it’s you, not them. And while this tool won’t help you solve some of life’s bigger problems, it might just help you make it through another day.

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