Can I have a raise?
No!
Will you go out with me?
No!
Can I get a better deal?
No!
Will you buy from me?
No!
Can I try again?
No!
Can I leave early?
No!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
How do you feel when you’re told no?
Do you feel rejected, dejected, perhaps even a little less worthy?
What if you didn’t have to feel this way?
Fearing no is not entirely your fault. According to experts the average toddler hears the word no about 400 times a day. That’s a lot of no’s. Now a few young ones are able to push past or endure the constant barrage of no’s, but for the majority, the no becomes the invisible electric fence often used on animals. They develop an internal Pavlovian response, they just stop asking.
What if you could convince yourself when you hear the word no, it’s actually an opportunity?
Well you can, but first you have to remove your ‘self’ from the situation. What I mean by your ‘self’ is essentially your ego. When you hear no, it’s not always about you. Most rejections aren’t about you in the way you think they are. They’re just a story you tell yourself, and you can choose to stop repeating it. You can choose to stop listening.
You can choose to view a no as an opportunity or a permanent setback. You can choose to have resolve and use the no as motivation, or decide that it’s not worth pushing forward. Many times the difference between those who get what they want and those that don’t, is that former have come to an understanding that no’s are just obstacles they will have to overcome in order achieve their goals.
How you see a no is entirely up to you, but just keep in mind that when you hear a no, you haven’t really lost anything and there are always other opportunities out there just waiting to say yes.
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