How quickly do you slip into self-protection mode?

If you’re not sure what self-protection is, let me help you. It’s the opposite of self-exposure. Essentially, self-protection is defense, and self-exposure is vulnerability. If you’ve ever allowed yourself to share your true feelings with another person, then you’re operating under self-exposure.

As a child, your emotional distance between these two states usually starts out very wide, but as you move through life into adulthood, the distance narrows based on your experiences. 

When you’re in self-protection mode, you’re always looking for danger or threats, whether real or perceived. You feel as though people and situations are always out to get you, and this feeling causes you to close up and become emotionally inaccessible.

One of the most detrimental effects of self-protection mode is disconnection between you and others, and the reason it’s bad for you is that we as a species are designed for connection.

Letting go of being in self-protection mode can be difficult, especially if, based on your past experiences, you feel as though it has served you well. And it might have, but it also has you in a state of constant mental defense. It sets up emotional boundaries that don’t let others in, but also don’t let you out.

Moving from operating in a self-protection mode to self-exposure can be a challenging transition, but doing so will allow you to experience deeper and more fulfilling relationships. Vulnerability is complex and emotionally risky, and self-protection can appear to be the safe route to take. But it’s also hollow, unfulfilling, and the constant pressure of guarding yourself because you feel as though the world is against you is a hard way to go through life. So, consider the alternative.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, don’t keep it secret – share it with one person you love.