What if you build a bird house and birds don’t show up?

Do you blame the birds?

Sound a little ridiculous?

Well.

In your life who do you do things for?

And what if they don’t appreciate what you do?

Getting caught up in the outcome of your actions is a slippery road to travel, especially when you feel as though you are doing something for someone else. Because the reality is that even when you do something for someone, you are doing it to feel good about yourself.

Doing things for others helps you solidify your identity as a good person. It reinforces that you’re the kind of person that does things for others.

Who am I really doing this for is a really good question to ask yourself.

If you can find a way to derive pleasure and satisfaction from the act of doing and not from the outcome then you can possibly alleviate a lot of heartache for yourself.

The next time you build a metaphoric bird house, try to enjoy the process. Take pride in your work and fact that you build beautiful bird houses, even if the birds never show up.

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How many imperfect decisions do you make every day?

If you’re like most people then I would guess you make a lot of them. But you don’t realize that they’re imperfect because they seem trivial.

The breakfast you eat.

The car you drive.

The clothes you wear.

The kind of shampoo you use.

And many more just like these are all imperfect decisions.

But you’re okay with these decisions because in your mind they are easily correctable, and if you didn’t make them you’d be stuck and would never do anything.

The people you see and perhaps even admire that are doing great things in their lives are also making imperfect decisions.

They’re just willing to make them on a grander scale.

You might see them change careers, experiment with big ideas or re-locate thousands of miles from their homes all based on imperfect information.

They have learned to get used to making imperfect decisions because they realize that they will rarely have all the information needed to make a perfect decision.

You too will almost never have all the information you need to make a perfect decision and the interesting thing about information is that it can also change with circumstances and time.

So if you find yourself stuck in area of life that you want to change then don’t wait for more perfect information.

Start making imperfect decisions.

And remember, everything you see around you was made by people that knew that they had to start with imperfect decisions.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it, because sharing is caring.

What is your definition of independence?

Is there any such thing as real independence?

The dictionary definition of independence is -freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.

In my opinion, if you agree with the definition then there really is no such thing as independence.

Perhaps there is some truth to freedom from control, but very often the control doesn’t disappear, it just moves from one controlling factor to another.

And as far as influence and support, well we’re all being influenced and supported to some degree by our environment.

Maybe we should pronounce the word differently.

How about in-dependence?

The reality is that we are all in dependence of something.

So instead of feeling as though we as individuals can survive without all that is around us because we feel that we are independent, we learn to love and respect all because we understand that we are in fact in dependence of everything and everyone around us.

How long would it take you to watch an unedited version of a movie?

Well it would depend on the movie.

I was surprised to learn that sometimes it can run as high has a 240 to 1 ratio.

What does this mean?

Well glad you asked.

In one example it means that there was 480 hours of raw footage time that was shot to produce a viewing time of 2 hours.

In essence it would take you 20 days to watch the unedited version of the movie.

So how does this apply to you?

Because as you go through your day looking at and interacting with people around you, all you see is the edited versions of their lives.

You don’t see or experience the raw footage.

And you make assumptions about them based only on what you briefly see.

Then you look at the raw version of your life and make comparisons based on that thinly sliced picture of their life.

The edited version of someone’s life is always cleanly cut and stitched together to provide you with a pleasurable viewing experience. And in many cases if they’re not doing the editing then your brain is doing it for you.

It’s difficult not to draw conclusions from what you see because your brain is wired to do so. But you’ll be much more content in your life if you can teach yourself not to draw comparisons between the unedited version of your life versus and the edited version of theirs.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it, because sharing is caring.

What will you regret later in life?

This is a hard question to answer since it falls in the ‘you don’t know what you don’t know’ category.

But what if there was a way to know?

Perhaps not 100% but close enough to make a difference.

Well there might be.

In past few years I’ve been extremely fortunate to have spent some time with individuals from both genders that are in their 70’s, 80’s and even a few in their 90’s and I’ve seen some common themes of regret amongst them.

The one most mentioned is not spending enough time with family, especially those that have children. They say that those first few years with their children slipped away much quicker than they thought they would and they were rarely able to recover their relationships.

A close second is that they wished that they had the courage to be more vocal with their opinions. This should come as no surprise if you’ve spent any time around the elderly. They tend to say what’s on their mind and don’t seem to care what others think about them. This might be because they know that their time is limited and realize that the repercussions no longer matter.

The last one I’ll share is that they many of them wish that they had taken more chances, said yes to more opportunities during their life, and prioritized some of their dream and interests.

There are many more but I’m only sharing the ones that I’ve heard most often.

I share these with you not with any guarantee that you won’t have any regrets, but at least make you aware and maybe prevent you from having the similar regrets later in your life.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it, because sharing is caring.

What is your self-worth tied too?

Is it tied to your effort or to outcomes?

Do you put your self-worth in the hands of others?

Your self-worth is a very delicate thing to manage because no matter how hard you try, you’ll almost always be comparing yourself to those around you.

You can feel comfortable knowing that it’s very rare to find an individual that doesn’t experience doubts about their self-worth no matter how confident they might seem to be.

A constant comparison to those around you is a killer of your personal self-worth because you’re tying what your worth to their lives.

The interesting thing about self-worth is that the better you feel about yourself, the better you’ll show up in the world.

Building a sense of inner confidence, security and feeling of worthiness about who you are will give you a richer, fuller life experience.

A strong self-worth will give you permission to attempt to do more things in in life because you won’t judge yourself as ‘less than’ if you don’t always succeed.

Working on building your own self-worth is a worthy mission.

When you learn respect and regard your self-worth as something you value then you’ll begin to notice that those around will begin to value you too.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it, because sharing is caring.

Are you a finisher?

Do you have to complete everything you start?

Does the idea of something being unfinished cause you anxiety?

The compulsion to bring everything to conclusion might actually be holding you back, especially when it comes to creative endeavors.

If you speak to any creative, whether they are an artist, musician or writer, almost all will tell you that they have many unfinished projects.

Yes, there are always the exceptions that see every project through to completion, but the majority, if given the opportunity to truly confess will show you vast amounts of unfinished work.

So why do they have so much unfinished work?

Because they’re not afraid to start.

When they feel inspiration strike, they act, without a clear path ahead.  Often uncertain of what will happen next, they put pen to paper, brush to canvas and just start.

But they know a secret that many don’t.

Each additional action they take leads them closer to more finished work.

They know that all the dabbling and scribbling, the trying the failing strengthens their resolve to try some more.

So if you’re the kind of person that has to bring every project to conclusion then good for you.

But every once in a while see if you can quash the need to have everything wrapped up with a nice little bow. Try a few different things, even if eventually you leave them unfinished.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it, because sharing is caring.

How would it feel if you were flipping through TV channels without ever deciding on a show to watch?

Imagine channel surfing all day.

You’d probably get frustrated with it very quickly, toss the remote and walk away.

And that’s okay if you’re watching TV.

But what if you couldn’t’ walk away?

Well, that’s what happens with your mind all day long.

It’s constantly moving from one thought to another, sometimes not even in any particular sequence, just one random thought to another.

There it goes again.

What if you could put it on pause just for a few moments?

Well you can if you choose to.

I wrote about meditation way back in 2016 as one of my initial blog posts, but I thought it would be good idea to re-visit the subject, at least briefly.

Starting a meditation practice doesn’t have to be a complicated process and you don’t need incense and robes to set the mood for a perfect session.

You can meditate while lying down, standing, walking or sitting, so you don’t have to be in a traditional crossed legged pose that often associated with meditation.

With all the various styles of meditation, you can explore and find one that best suits you.

Channel surfing works well with TV because hopefully you eventually land on something you want watch. But your mind keeps bouncing around because that’s what it’s in the habit of doing, unless you intervene.

So why not consciously give your mind the occasional break?

Find a meditation technique and create a practice that works for you, and give your mind a much needed pause.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it, because sharing is caring.

One color

One brush

One pen

One sheet of paper

What can you produce with just your mind and a limited set of tools?

Art – Da Vinci’s famous Vitruvian man created with a limited set of tools.

Books – The Bible, Gita, Quran and Torah have influenced billions of people and all were created with a limited set of tools.

Buildings – The Pyramids and the Taj Mahal have stood the test of time and were created with a limited set of tools.

Better tools or more tools are very often not the answer.

In fact the idea that you need better tools is usually either a form of procrastination or an excuse for not starting.

And, once you begin with what you have you will eventually learn what more you might need, but very rarely will more sophisticated tools help you get started.

So get started with as little as possible and remember your imagination is unlimited so don’t let a limited amount of tools hold you back.

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Have you ever heard of any of these places?

Hayward, California

Kingfisher, Oklahoma

Kosciusko, Mississippi

Westmoreland County, Virginia,

If you have then great, if not then you’re not alone. I too had never heard of them.

These somewhat unknown places are the birth places of some very well-known individuals.

While there can be some advantages to being born in a certain place, there are also countless examples of individuals that were born in all parts of the world that have created amazing lives for themselves.

If you’re still wonder about the list then here you go.

Hayward, California – Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock

Kingfisher, Oklahoma – Sam Walton

Kosciusko, Mississippi – Oprah Winfrey

Westmoreland County, Virginia – George Washington

None of the people on this list were born in places that stand out on a map, and this list could go on to include millions of people from around the world that you’ve never heard of.

My reason for pointing this out is to illustrate that while where you were born does play a large part in your life; it doesn’t have to limit you.

So embrace where you’re from as part of your history and then decide where you’re going in your future.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it and would like to support me, please forward it to one friend.

Have you ever been around a hot mic?

If you have then you know what to expect.

If you’re wondering what a hot mic is then I’ll help you out.

A hot mic is a microphone that’s turned on and is ready to broadcast or record.

So, how would you behave if you knew there was always a hot mic nearby?

Would it change what you said out loud?

How would you talk about people if you knew there might be a chance that they’d find out what you said about them?

If you’re willing to say out loud what’s on your mind and are not concerned about the consequences then you have nothing to fear from hot mics.

But if not then be aware.

Technology is currently on a path where you can expect there to always be a hot mic nearby. And there’s no guarantee that what you discuss and say in private will remain private.

So, if you’re already in the habit of speaking about things you wouldn’t mind being heard, then good for you. But if not, then now might be a good time start.

Look around you.

They’re all just like you.

Yes, colors, shapes, sizes and even gender might be different, but deep down they’re all just like you.

Their concerns and fears.

Their needs and wants.

Their desires and discomforts.

Their insecurities.

Almost all are similar to yours.

Even the ones you put on a pedestal.

The ones you think are better than you.

The ones you disdain.

The ones you think you’re better than.

They’re just like you.

And just like you, none of them escape the emotions and feelings that are involved in being human.

At times you might feel as though it’s only you that’s experiencing a certain set of feelings, but know that many of those around you have probably experienced them too.

So as you go about your day undulating between waves of highs and lows have grace and patience with all who are around you, because just like you, they’re in the same boat too.

Have you discovered your calling?

If yes then fantastic!

Know that there are very few people that find their calling early in life and if you’re one of them then appreciate the fact that you’re in a very distinct minority.

However, if you’re still on a journey of discovery then keep reading.

Keep in mind that a calling is not something you’re obligated to pursue and many don’t due to their circumstances or because it’s not a priority for them.

You’ll know when you’ve found your calling because you’ll feel enthusiastic and alive when you’re doing it.

Money, recognition, nor time will be of importance to you because you’re operating in full alignment.

Finding your calling does require work, but not necessarily physical labor. It requires the work of attention and recognition.

You need to work at paying attention to subtle signals inside of you that will tell you when you’re close to your calling.

If you listen you’ll find that your life will keep giving you clues to your calling, such as interests or ideas that keep showing up, or even dreams.

You’ll need to make space in your life if you really want to find your calling, but you’ll find that if you do, discovering your calling will be well worth the effort.

Have you ever witnessed the power of incremental change?

Incremental change is a wonderful phenomenon; however you have to be vigilant because incremental change can work both for you and against you.

Incremental change requires your attention and patience.

A plane that is slightly off course will never reach its destination, but one that’s constantly correcting by making small changes will eventually arrive at the desired location.

The challenge with incremental change is that you and those that are closest to you won’t see it happening, since most people only tend to believe what they see. And this is when you need patience.

Incremental change is like the power of compound interest. If you work on yourself and have faith, one morning you’ll wake up and realize just how much you’ve grown.

Don’t undervalue the power of incremental change. Leverage it with intention to achieve the big goals in your life.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you like this and would like to support me, please forward it to a friend.

Have you ever run an obstacle course?

Well, if you’re reading this then you are a participant in the greatest obstacle course ever made.

It is life.

And in many cases the obstacles will be unique to you.

Some of the obstacles will be real and others will be manufactured by your own psychology.

And as long as you’re alive the obstacles will never stop.

They will come in all sorts of shapes and sizes.

Some you will be able to manage with ease and others will take more practice and time.

Occasionally it might look as though your fellow participants have easier obstacles than you do, but that’s rarely true.

Unfortunately there’s no real way to avoid obstacles and you’ll find that if you try then they’ll be another waiting for you around the corner.

The faster you learn to face your obstacles head on the more skillful you’ll become at handling new obstacles in the future.

Lastly keep in mind that life is going to provide you with plenty of obstacles to deal with so there’s no need to burden yourself further by making up your own obstacles in your head.

P.S. I need your help.

Recently a friend pointed out that my book would make for a great book club book. It would be unique because unlike most books which have one underlying theme, the discussions that my book would promote would vary from week to week.

So, if you know anyone in or starting a book club please suggest my book to them. It would really mean a lot to me.

As always thank you for your continue support.

How do you feel when you don’t make the team?

What will you do when you don’t get the job?

When you’re not accepted by a person?

How will you handle rejection?

It’s been said that rejection is the number one fear among human beings.

If you are adventurous, bold and courageous then it’s almost inevitable that you will experience rejection.

The reason for this is you are not willing to only accept your status quo. You’re not willing to wait in line for the next handout or stay within your given boundaries.

You want to experience more.

But the desire to experience more also comes with the risk of rejection.

Rejection can be difficult because it can leave you feeling as though there is something defective about you.

But there isn’t.

Which I agree is easier said than done, especially when you’re in the moment.

Acknowledge your feelings when you are rejected because that is an integral part of the human experience. But then learn to move on.

The more you practice moving forward the better you’ll get at handling rejection because you’ll begin to learn that rejection is not the end of the world.

And in some cases when you look back you’ll be happy that you were rejected.

You can actually build your tolerance for rejection by asking for things you really don’t need or want just so that you can get used to it.

You’ll soon come to realize that rejection can be an opportunity for self-improvement in many aspects of your life.

So don’t live in the shadows. Go out, get rejected and see what you can learn.

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Here’s a list of holidays that have been appropriated by the retail industry in order to sell you more of their products.

I took the liberty of adding what the holiday initially represented just in case you’re not aware.

1. New Year’s Day Sale – A day marking the beginning of a new calendar year according to the Gregorian calendar.
2. MLK Day Sale – A day to celebrate Martin Luther King’s Birthday.
3. President’s Day Sale – A day to celebrate George Washington’s birthday, the first U.S. president.
4. Mother’s Day Sale – A day to remember and appreciate mothers.
5. Easter Sale – Easter is a day Christians celebrate the resurrection of Jesus.
6. Memorial Day Sale – Celebrated in the U.S. as a day to remember those that have died serving in the armed forces.
7. Father’s Day Sale – A day to remember and appreciate fathers.
8. Independence Day Sale – Celebrated in the U.S. as the day commemorating adoption of the declaration of independence.
9. Labor Day Sale – intended that the day would be filled with a street parade to allow the public to appreciate the work of the trade and labor organizations.
10. Columbus Day Sale – Columbus Day, which is on the second Monday of October, remembers Christopher Columbus’ arrival to the Americas
11. Thanksgiving Day sale – began as a day of giving thanks for the blessing of the harvest and of the preceding year.
12. Christmas Sale – Christmas is observed by Christians as the Jesus’s birthday.

I’ve only presented you with 12 but there are many more that have been manufactured and probably more to come.

As you shop your way through the year, keep in mind that adding to what you have doesn’t add to who you are. And in some cases you might even lose who you are in what you acquire.

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