Do you tolerate other people’s crappy behavior just so that they’ll invite you back?

Do you make excuse for why you don’t speak up just so that you they’ll think you’re one of them?

Do you pretend to be one of them when you know deep down that you’re not? Why?

Why do you keep pretending to be someone you’re not? Are you afraid you’ll be alone?

Pretending to be someone you’re not is going to tear you apart. You’re going to continuously struggle to balance your multiple personalities. So the sooner you stop the easier your life will be.

Take a stand for you who are and for what you believe. At first you might not get invited back by the people you thought were your friends, but over time you’ll find people that want and love for the real you to show up. You’ll build relationships on you who you are. You’ll find your tribe.

Make commitment today to start sharing more of who you really are and to stop hiding behind the fear of being rejected. You might be surprised at just how many people want more of the real you.

Have you ever had your thoughts controlled by someone else?

Well today I’m going to take over a small part of your brain. For some of you it’ going to be only for a few hours but for the rest of you it’s going to be for a long time. I’m giving you fair warning, so you can stop reading now or continue at your own risk.

Okay, are you ready? From this moment on every time you see a Silver car you are going to smile.

That’s it, I’m done. I have now planted a seed in your brain that quite possibly will live in your brain forever. Years from now you when you see a silver car you will find yourself smiling and not quite remember why.

Now you might be curious as to why I did this to you. And the answer is that I want you be aware of all the information you expose yourself to and how many people with bad intentions are also planting seeds and ideas in your brain. Also how vulnerable your brain is to being influenced.

Today as you’re out and about smiling at silver cars think about the other sources of information you expose yourself to how your thoughts are being influenced.

What would you do if you could spend your time today doing anything you wanted to?

If you had no demands on your time from work or family obligations what would you do today? Indulge me for a minute and think about it.

Those of you that did spend a minute thinking about it will experience a slight yet beneficial boost in your mood and energy levels. And those of you that didn’t play along should really ask yourselves, why not?

After all, I only asked you to commit a minute of your time to think about something that would make you happy and is important to you.

If you cannot commit to 60 seconds to think about what you would like to do with your time then it really is time to re-evaluate your life. Because, any real inspiration you feel in your life is going to be based on you thinking about how you want to spend your time.

I know that deep down you want your time and ultimately your life to matter, because most people do. So please do take that minute I asked for earlier to think about what you would do with your time because at the root of those thoughts you will find what matters to you.

Do you know that the first humans that settled in South America walked there from Asia?

They walked across the original Siberian land bridge that connected the continents and made their way south. And you share the same DNA as those first humans.

You also share the same DNA as the humans that set sail from distant shores and made their way sailing around the world, often spending months in the search of new land.

You share the same DNA as the people that came together to put a man on the moon.

People just like you have beaten all kind of odds and have overcome tremendous obstacles to reach destinations they never knew were possible.

Your DNA contain seeds of greatness and can take you places you that you can’t even imagine are possible, if? If you let it. If you let your DNA live up to its potential it will perform miracles.  So, unshackle your DNA and let it live, let it explore, let it drive you forward.

Do you ever just want to be done with something, but you haven’t even started it yet?

Do you imagine the end of a project, a goal reached, something important finally completed but you haven’t taken the first step to doing so?

We all want feel that sense of accomplishment, but we can’t until we start.

The reason the end comes after the beginning is because that is the natural order of things. You have to go from 1 to 2, and 2 is twice as much as 1 so the effort required to getting there is also twice as much.  But sometimes when you take the first step the sheer momentum can sometimes carry you forward to the next step.

Sometimes your small steps will seem trivial and small, almost as if they are half steps, but the compound effect of your small steps will accumulate over time. Take a half step today towards one of your goals or projects that you’ve been thinking about doing. You might feel a little unnatural or even scared at first but the minute you take your first step you will no longer be the person you were yesterday.

How do you measure progress?

This was a question someone recently asked me and my response was that progress can only be measured if you know where you are right now.

The problem with this is that most people don’t take the time to evaluate their current state. And there are reasons they don’t. Some don’t want to know, others think it takes too much time, while some assume that because they’re moving they are progressing.

By definition progress is the movement towards a destination. So, if you don’t know where you are and where you’re going then progress is almost impossible to measure.

Now there are times when it’s okay to just wander or go on a classic ‘walk about’ without a destination in mind because much can be learned from those experiences too, but if you’re looking for progress then you’re going to need to be more specific.

Measuring progress is not hard as long as you know what you are moving towards. However, slow progress can be challenging because you need a certain degree of mental fortitude to continue on. And usually the bigger the goal or destination the slower the progress feels. Take a step today of measuring progress in one area of your life by evaluating where you are, where you’d like to be and how you’ll get there.

Do you ever spend any time remembering who you were as a child?

Somewhere deep inside you are the traces of the kid that believed anything was possible. There are traits that you have suppressed because you were told you had become an adult. You had to fit the mold that others designed for you.

Some of the traits that you have suppressed are your natural given abilities and you never allowed them to ever come to fruition. Because for whatever reason, whether external or internal you decided that those traits would not be accepted or would not be beneficial in adulthood.

The unfortunate thing is that at your core those traits, like weeds will always be trying to surface and you will spend your entire life fighting them. So why not embrace them?

What were those things that you enjoyed doing so much as a child that the world could have stopped and you wouldn’t have noticed?

The desire to do those activities are still somewhere inside you. Make a list today of all the things you used to enjoy doing, you’ll see that it probably isn’t a very long list. Choose one of the activities and find a way to incorporate it back into your life. I guarantee that when you do you’ll find yourself grinning from ear to ear just like you used to as a kid.

Do you actively build relationships with people or do you wait for them to happen by chance?

Over the years the word networking has taken on a negative connotation, but that’s because most approach it in a transactional, ‘what’s in it for me?’ mentality. In reality, networking is about building relationships.

Relationships with people are really everything we have and connecting with people is what we are naturally driven to do. However, in today’s digital age so many have a better relationship with their screens than they do with the people around them. They’ve come to believe that the virtual interactions are a replacement for real ones.

Actively seeking opportunities to interact in person with people can enhance your personal and professional life. It will add depth to who you are as a person because it will force you to grow as you continuously step out of what you know and are used to.

As with any new behavior, actively seeking out new people to talk to takes some practice and will seem uncomfortable at first. But as you get better at it you’ll realize that majority of people you meet either have or had the same apprehension about new meeting people as you.  Take an active step this week of meeting one new person, and when you do just relax and be yourself.

When was the last time you researched something you were interested in? Or tried to find out just how something worked, even if it wasn’t directly related to your job?

Many have had the habit of being curious trained out of them. The repeated schooling of don’t ask too many questions and don’t be wrong has removed so much of the natural curiosity that humans have. The fear of being wrong has also contributed the decline in curiosity.

Maintaining a healthy amount of curiosity is a great first step to having an open mind and a growth mindset. Reading and learning about things that are unrelated to your everyday life is also a great way to stoke your curiosity. Being curious also has the benefit of moving your mind from a passive state to an active one. One in which you are asking questions.

Take some time out today to be intentionally curious. Try a new food, talk to a stranger or read about something that ordinarily you would have no interest in and ask questions, lots of questions. See what new possibilities you can discover behind your curiosity.

Do you know that everything you see around you is a form of energy, including you?

And you are nothing but an energy conversion machine.

Your total existence is based on your ability to convert the suns energy. And 99% of the time you have little or no control how the energy is converted. Your body is a fantastic machine and it performs all the energy conversion automatically.

The 1% of energy you do have some input towards is your thoughts, and even then, not all the time. Most of your thoughts are created by your sub-conscious so again you really have control of less than 1%.

So, how are you directing the little energy you do have control over? That little bit of energy that you have control over can move the other 99% of you to do miraculous things. So take full advantage of your current form of energy and use it well while you still have control over it.

When you ask someone, ‘how are you?’ do you really slow down to listen to their answer?

When you’re eating, do you slow down to really enjoy and appreciate the food?

When you’re working, do you slow down to really think about what you’re doing?

Slowing down is an art. It’s a conscious effort than change the way you see and experience the world. Slowing down gives you the opportunity to really observe what’s going on around you and will give you insights that are missed by most.

Slowing down doesn’t mean stop pursuing what you want. In fact, slowing down can often improve your focus.

The never ending allure of the next deal, the next opportunity, the next dollar, the next person, the next website will always be there. So stop rushing towards them.

Try this today. Have a cup of coffee, tea or beverage of your choice in a ceramic mug or glass. Wrap your hands around the beverage and focus on how long it takes for the temperature of the container to warm or cool down to match the temperature of your hands. And during this time, slow down and just observe the world around you.

Have you ever felt like giving up on something you’re working on?

If you haven’t then you’ve probably never tried to do anything new, but if you have then you know the feelings that are associated with it. The feelings of overwhelm, frustration and not being good enough. The feeling of wishing it was easier. Unfortunately these feelings are your mandatory waypoints on the way to your new destination.

The ability to cope with the feeling of constant struggle will serve you well in all your new endeavors in life.

When you encounter one of these feelings take the time to stop for a moment and really examine it. See it for what it is and don’t give up too soon.

The more you experience these feelings the more resourceful you will become. You’ll train yourself to find solutions that you never thought were possible. Until eventually you’ll come to a point where you’ll learn to embrace the struggle and frustration because you know that what you want achieve is on the other side of that emotion.

Do you recognize these vows?

To have and to hold

from this day forward,

for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish,

until we are parted by death.

This is my solemn vow.

If you do, then you know that these are a list of the common vows that are said by couples to each other during a wedding ceremony.  They are vows of commitment and of acceptance to another person regardless of the situation.

My question to you is, are you as committed to yourself regardless of the situation?

Can you look yourself in the mirror, say these words to yourself and commit to them?

The ability to commit to accepting yourself is one of the best things you can do for you, and ultimately the world around you.

Where do you live?

Or better yet, where do you exist?

Your first reaction may be to think of the city, country or even your home but in reality you only really live in your mind, technically your brain.

Your total existence is based on electrical and chemical activity inside your head and your body is just a vessel used to take in information and so that your brain can then process it. But what if your brain is misinterpreting the information you are providing it? And this misinterpretation is causing you behave in ways that are not allowing you to express your true potential.

You see, at the core your brain is designed to survive, so it does whatever it takes to prevent you from hurting yourself. It keeps you within safe boundaries because the safer you are the less energy it has to expend to adapt to new inputs.

Now you have a choice. You can choose to stay within the safe boundaries that your brain has erected to keep you safe or you can push beyond and force your brain to adapt to new inputs. I can’t tell you which one to choose but I can tell you that you will always have better stories if you continue to push your boundaries.

At what point in your day do you really feel happy?

Is there a physical trigger or thought that makes you smile even when you’re alone?

If yes, then how long does the feeling last?

Many claim to want happiness yet few can really define what makes them happy. The problem with this is you can’t find something unless you know what that thing is.

For some it might be the embrace or even the thought of an embrace of a loved one or friend. Others might feel happiness at the opportunity to pursue their dreams or goals. And yet for some it might just be a good cup of coffee and reading a book.

So as you go about your day today really think about what makes you smile or makes you feel happy inside. The point of this exercise is that once you understand what makes you happy then you can consciously create more of those experiences in your life.

Have you ever performed a random act of kindness?

If you have, then do you remember how it made you feel? And if you haven’t, then great because today’s your day to do so.

Performing a random act of kindness doesn’t have to cost a lot of time or money. It doesn’t even require much planning, but it does require some intentionality. It does require you to look for or think about situations that allow for the ‘random’ act.

Here are some ideas that might help you.

Send a handwritten note to someone

Pay for the person behind you in a store or restaurant

Over tip a server

Email a friend or acquaintance expressing appreciation

Pay a genuine compliment to someone

There are many more ideas that you can find on the web, or you can be creative and come up with your own. Pick one today and do it. I’m sure you’ll find that the random act of kindness will probably brighten your day more than the person you were kind to.

When you ask for advice what are you really asking for?

Are you asking someone to confirm what you’re already thinking or do you really want an unbiased opinion?

Asking for advice is tricky because no one has seen and experienced what you have, so they can never really see things from your point of view. The best they can do is based on their own experiences. Which can be helpful since it gives you another perspective but may or may not work for you.

When seeking advice try to separate the facts from emotions. Be open to advice that is contrary to your own thoughts. Don’t dismiss advice that doesn’t immediately align with your way of thinking and give yourself time to digest different and new advice. Advice that is different than the way you think has the potential to help you grow if you approach it with an open mind.

How often do you consciously relax?

I don’t mean taking a nap, going to sleep or just lazing on the couch. I mean really relaxing your body.

There’s an art to conscious relaxation that will allow you to feel relaxed after a few minutes of concentration. The technique is simple but can yield great results. You have several large muscles in your body and if you can learn how to contract and release them then you can start a relaxation practice.

Start with the easy ones. Contract your calf muscles, breathe deeply and release them when you exhale. As you get better at this you can then move to your upper legs and slowly progress to your other large muscles. The entire process shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes.

Lastly and one of the most important is your tongue. If you’re like most people reading this then at this moment your tongue is either touching the roof of your mouth or the back of your front teeth. It is in a tensed position. Learn to relax your tongue by letting it fall to the bottom of your mouth. Doing this will allow your jaw to loosen up and will ultimately relax your entire neck and face.

Practice this during the day and especially when you go to bed. Learning to relax your tongue is one of the simplest and most rewarding relaxation techniques you can do.