Be somewhere else right now.

Go ahead, give it a try.

Squeeze your eyes shut.

Clench your teeth.

Close your hands and tighten your fists.

Did it work?

Were you able to be in two places at the same time?

If you can accomplish such a feat then you’re an exception to every other living mortal and should call the national news station, because you’re about to be famous.

However, if you’re not able to be in two places at the same time then welcome to life like the rest of us.

No matter how much you might desire to be somewhere else in any given moment, it won’t happen. So what are your choices about the moment you’re in?

Well, besides acceptance of that moment, what else is there?

Now you can accept the moment begrudgingly, fighting it with every ounce of your being, or you can accept it for what it is. All that moment is made of is you occupying a space for a measured amount of time.

How you look upon that amount of time is up to you.

Simple enough right?

Of course not.

Or is it?

Your approach to the moment you’re in is up to you. You can be frustrated, impatient, or accept the moment for what it is. This doesn’t mean you relinquish responsibility for your life or live a passively. On a holistic level you can still gather and focus all your talent and energy to move you towards whatever you want to do, but being frustrated with a moment because you desire it to be different is… Well, I’ll leave it open for you to decide what it is.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.

What are you saying to yourself right now?

Yes, even while you’re reading this there’s a little voice in your head speaking to you.

If you pay attention for a moment you’ll hear it loud and clear. The problem is that even if you don’t pay attention, it’s still speaking and you’re still listening. It goes on and on, blah, blah, blah, rarely stopping to take a breath.

Is your inner voice supportive, or is it one of your biggest doubters?

Is your inner voice kind to you, or is it constantly pointing out your flaws and mistakes you make?

Is your inner voice your friend?

Remember, you’re always listening to your inner voice, so wouldn’t it be nice it were an ally and not an enemy?

So how do you make it an ally?

Practice.

Sounds simple enough, but practice is a very deceptive word. Practice is not a sometimes or one and done activity, it means all the time.

Are you willing to commit to saying kind things to yourself all the time?

Okay, if not all the time then at least most of the time?

Are you hesitant?

Look, if you speak to almost any person that’s world class in their field, you’ll hear them say that they believe in themselves. They motivate themselves. They raise their game and their standards by speaking to themselves in a positive voice.

So why not try to do the same for yourself?

Try it today. Say kind words to yourself and lift yourself up. Be your own best friend, just for today and see how it makes you feel.  What do you have to lose? If you find it doesn’t work for you and that you’re not enjoying it, you can always go back to being unkind to yourself tomorrow.

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Where would you be without oxygen?

I can pretty much guarantee that you wouldn’t be reading this without it.

Oxygen fuels your life.

Oxygen is also the primary fuel for fire. If you want to put out a fire, starve it of oxygen and soon enough it will be gone.

You can consider the thoughts you have as mini fires, and your awareness of them and willingness to ruminate on them as the oxygen they need to stay alive.  The difference between oxygen and your awareness is that oxygen doesn’t discriminate, it’s readily abundant. However, when it comes to your awareness, you can choose where you want to direct it.

If this sounds unreasonable to you, it’s because you’ve chosen to empower, or fuel the idea that it’s unreasonable. And over time the idea of unreasonableness has taken root and you’ve fed it the oxygen it’s needed to stay alive.

You can choose to suspend any belief or thought you have by not feeding it. By not giving it the energy it needs to survive. If you practice this, you’ll find that soon enough the thoughts and beliefs you choose to eliminate will go dormant, notice that I said dormant and not dead. They’ll never quite disappear; in fact they’ll be just waiting for that moment of weakness when you’ll supply them with the energy they need to come alive again.

Your thinking patterns have becomes grooves in your mind because you’ve been feeding them all the oxygen they need. If they’re not serving you, then stop fueling them. Stop giving them the oxygen they need to survive. Again, if you don’t believe this is possible, then keep feeding this thought, watch it continue to flourish and prove you right.

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Your age.

Your bio.

Your name.

Your race.

Your resume.

These are all your surface level attributes, these labels barely scratch the surface of who you really are.

There’s so much more to you.

Imagine for a moment you read the ingredients for a recipe. You’ll get an idea for all that constitutes that particular dish, but you won’t get an idea of the depth or range of flavors until you actually taste the food. And the same applies to you.

The labels that are used to describe you and everyone else make it easy for sorting and to put in categories.  The labels make life easier for the category makers because now they don’t have to spend time thinking, they can just pick the labels they like and discard the ones they don’t.

You know deep down that there’s so much more to you than the labels that are assigned to you, and there are times when you’ll also feel constrained by the labels. Almost everyone around you experiences similar frustrations too.

Just like there’s more to you, there’s more to others too. And the only real way to explore and understand others is to remove preconceived notions about the labels. You can do this by listening, and spending time connecting with those around you.  Once you begin to do this, you’ll find that others will be willing to do this for you too. And that’s when they’ll have the opportunity to learn that there’s so much more to you too.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.

How you think about a person is how you’ll treat them.

Let that marinate in your mind for a moment.

If you think about a person with anger, contempt, irritation, or any other negative feeling, then regardless of your words, your feelings will still be conveyed, even if you attempt to hide them. And the same is true for positive feelings.

It’s been said that only 10% of communication is verbal, the rest is body language and tone. So even if you try to hide how you feel, your messages about how you think are still being transmitted. And a person can hear, or even feel what you’re really saying.

If you really want to convey love and warmth towards someone, then think of reasons why you’d feel that way towards them and you’ll find that your body language and tone will fall in line accordingly. If you don’t learn to do this then your attempt at words of affection will ring hollow, and they’ll sense it.

There will be times when this is difficult to do, but let this be the exception and not the norm. Perhaps Maya Angelou said it best when she said “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

So keep in mind the thoughts you have about an individual will be the launching pad for your actions and words towards that person.  And no matter how hard you try to mask your emotions, eventually they’ll feel what you’re really thinking.

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Maybe and might.

Both of these words are relatively non-committal.

In fact, it’s been said that if you tell someone that you might do something, or that maybe you’ll show up, then the likelihood of you doing so is extremely slim.

They’re a pair of slippery words that give you huge gaping holes to get out of commitments and situations.

But if used well they can also be wonderful opportunities, especially if you use them as tools to motivate yourself.

When you’re struggling up against a challenge you can convince yourself to give an extra amount of effort because if you do, then maybe you’ll be able to overcome it. The maybe is your sliver of hope. It’s the glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel that keeps you moving forward.

Maybe and might are both expressions of possibilities, and you can use this to your advantage. Yes, they can provide you with ‘outs,’ in certain situations, but they can also leave options open for you.

So although some of those you interact with won’t like or appreciate your maybes and might’s, you go ahead and use them at your will. Use them to open the doors that work for you and close the ones that don’t.

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Where can you find the instructions to life?

How will you know if you’re assembling your life correctly?

The truth is that you will never really know.

You might have some semblance on your way through your life that you’re doing it correctly. You’ll look around and see what others are doing and you’ll attempt to match your life to theirs.  At times you’ll feel as though you’re right on beat, and there will be other times when you’ll feel way out of tune.

Fortunately and unfortunately life doesn’t come with instructions. I say fortunately because if it did then all of our lives would look and feel almost identical, and where’s the fun in that? But it’s also unfortunate, because at times when you’re grasping for answers, it would be so much easier if there were a set of instructions to turn to.

Now there are certain guiding principles that you can choose to adopt that might make your life a little easier. For example there’s the golden rule ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you,’ which is a solid rule to live by and will probably serve you well.  And there are a few others that could serve as a mini foundation for you to build upon, but that’s really all there is.

You’ll come across all kinds of advice and tips and tricks that might look like instructions for your life, and some might even work for you, but you will not come across a set of customized instructions designed specifically for you. You and your uniqueness will have to figure your own instructions for life as you go along.

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How do you remind yourself that you love the people you say you do?

Do you pray for them?

If prayer is not your thing, then do you actively think good thoughts about them?

Do you appreciate them in your mind?

Do you mentally list the reasons why you love them?

It’s very easy to say that you love someone, and at times just saying it can become a habit, but reminding yourself of the reasons strengthens the foundation of why you love them.

Your mind, like any other muscle needs attention and exercise. Consider the practice of reviewing reasons you love someone as mental reps, similar to working any other muscle.

When you actively practice reminding yourself why you love someone, be it a friend or in the romantic sense, you’ll develop a deeper sense of appreciation for them. You’ll also be able to navigate the bumps and rough patches that come with any relationship just a little easier because you’ll have the reasons you love them top of mind.

Look, your mind is a busy place and it’s constantly prioritizing what you think about and while it’s doing this it’s very easy to neglect some of the more important parts of your life. So, sometimes you have to step in and reorganize and prioritize what’s important to you.

Now this doesn’t mean you have to spend hours fawning and swooning over someone, nor does it mean you accept transgressions against you. All I’m suggesting is that if say you love someone spend a few seconds or minutes reminding yourself why. If you do this on a regular basis you’ll begin to feel a deeper sense of love for them and they’ll be able to feel it too.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.

How open minded are you?

How willing are you to have your beliefs, ideas and thoughts challenged and tested by others?

If just the idea of having your mind changed by others makes you uncomfortable, then maybe you should consider being a little more open minded.

Having your mind open to different or new ways of thinking shouldn’t be something you fear. In fact, at times, you should welcome the idea of being challenged. The opportunity to gain a new perspective can be quite beneficial, especially from those that have different, or more experiences then you do.

Having an open mind doesn’t mean you agree to, or accept every new idea that’s brought to your attention. It means that you’re at least willing to listen, and to some extent, perhaps even admit that you’re position about a subject might not be entirely correct.

Being closed minded drives you towards conclusions and judgements much faster than if you hold an open mind. The reason is because you already think you have the answer or you think you know what it right.

The benefits of having an open mind are infinite, because you’re free to change, to learn, to explore without boundaries. You’re open to considering and evaluating alternatives, you’re not bound to one set of beliefs. Having an open mind will also increase your level of empathy, which in turn will strengthen and add greater depth to your relationships.

So as you can see, having an open mind is going to be much more beneficial to you over the course of your life than a closed one. I just hope that you’re open minded enough to accept this idea.

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Make an effort today to brighten someone’s day.

Send a thank you note

Give a sincere compliment.

Make a surprise phone call.

It doesn’t matter who it is, nor how you do it, just do it.

Don’t mull on it, or spend too much time thinking about it. In fact, right now as you’re reading this, just stop right here and think of someone.

Do you have a person in mind?

Okay, you can stop reading right here and go do it.

I hope you’re not still reading.

If you are then you’ve fallen in to the ‘I’ll do it later’ trap. And although you might, you also might not. Not because you don’t care, but daily events have a tendency to line up in front of you just waiting to be addressed. And the next thing you know, you’re getting in to bed and all of a sudden you’ll realize that you didn’t do it.

Look, if you need one more reason to go do it now, then here it is.

When you make the effort to brighten someone’s day, you’ll feel your day brighten too. It’s a strange, almost reciprocal effect, even though they didn’t do anything for you, it makes you feel better about the kind of person you are.

So please, no more waiting.

Go do it now. And enjoy the feeling of having your day brightened too.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.

What can you do to make the world a better place?

If the idea of making the world a better place sounds too daunting then start a little smaller.

You could start with…

Your country.

Your state.

Your city.

Your neighborhood.

Your home.

Just imagine the difference it would all make if each one of us collectively made an effort to leave places better than we found them.

How much effort would it really take to take on such an endeavor?

Probably not as much as you might think.

What it would take is conscious behavior. It would take a shift in focus and a bias towards action.

You could start with something as small as picking up a piece of litter and disposing of it correctly. Or, if you feel so inclined, you could run for public office because you’re willing to commit energy and time to making things better on a larger scale.

The choice is yours.

If you’re really stuck and don’t know where or how to start making things better, then start with thinking about it. Once you decide and commit to the fact that you’re going to work towards making the world a better place, I can almost guarantee you’ll encounter endless opportunities to do so.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.

I think you’re amazing.

I think you’re beautiful.

I think you’re brilliant.

I think you’re charming.

I think you’re…

Enough about what I think you are.

What matters more is what you think you are.

Because what you think you are is and should be way more important than what I or anyone else thinks you are.

What you think you are will determine how you act and behave; it will also determine how you show up for yourself and others.

If you’re constantly thinking about how others think you should be then you’ll have to develop multiple versions of yourself because everyone you meet might want you to be something different. However, if you build yourself around the person you think and believe you are, then you will be consistent and more important, congruent with yourself.

The sooner you realize that you’ll never please or earn the admiration of every person you encounter, the better off you’ll be. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be kind, pleasant or respectful to those you meet, it just means that there will be people that like you and people that don’t, and that’s okay.

So instead of thinking about what I or anyone else thinks you are, focus on thinking about the kind of person you think you are. Once you do you’ll develop an inner sense of confidence that won’t be relying on, or looking for validation about what other people think you are.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.

If you don’t invest in yourself then who will?

Investing in yourself is a signal to your own self that you have self-worth and that you value yourself.

When an investor reviews and investment opportunity, it’s with the expectation that the opportunity has a certain value and will return even greater value in the future, therefore increasing the value of the initial investment.

You should consider yourself your own investment opportunity.

There are many ways to invest in yourself but ultimately they all boil down to two common denominators, money and time.

You have to believe that you’re worth both.

How much money and time you invest in yourself is up to you and should correlate with you your own personal goals and lifestyle. And you don’t need to spend unreasonable amounts of either one to get started.

Allocate a small amount of money and time towards improving the areas of life that are important to you. For you it might be education or health, whatever it is, invest in it.

It’s easy to get caught up in the cycles of every day routines and de-prioritizing yourself, but when you do, you’re also indicating to your subconscious that you’re not worth the time. And when you de-value yourself, how can you expect anyone else to value you?

So refrain from using all your resources on others and start to invest in yourself. Because when you do, you’ll begin to see and experience exponential returns on your investment.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.

When you hear the word perfect, what comes to mind?

Do you think about a perfect object, a perfect life, a perfect person?

What about you?

Do you believe you’re perfect?

I think you should.

Now before we cross wires and get in to a debate about perfect, let me explain.

I’m not saying that you’re perfect in sense that you never say or do the wrong thing, or that you’re always right. Nor am I saying that you always look your best or any other image of perfect that you might have in mind. Nope, when I say I think you should believe that you’re perfect, what I mean is that you believe that you’re complete, you’re enough; you’re whole and have nothing missing.

Why is this important?

Well, if you believe that you’re not complete or whole within yourself, then you must believe that some part of you is missing or even worse, lacking. And this belief will show up in everything you do, especially in your relationships. You’ll always be searching for objects or people to fill what you think you’re lacking. And your search will be never ending, leaving you with a constant feeling of being unfulfilled.

So when I say you’re perfect, it’s not to inflate your ego, telling you can’t do any wrong. It’s for you to know that you can and should love yourself as you are today. And yes, if you choose to, you can build upon and improve who and what you are, but not because you feel as though you’re not good enough. You do it because you want to add to build on the perfect person you already are.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.

You’ll work with people.

You’ll have relationships with people.

You’ll live with people.

You’ll co-exist with people.

Then why not study people?

Learn what moves them, motivates them, what makes them tick.

You’ll probably go through your entire primary and secondary education without ever taking a class about the nature of people. And depending on your career choice, you might even go through graduate and post-graduate school and still never take a class that teaches you about people.

And then, you’ll step in to your job or career and you’ll have to work with, collaborate with, negotiate with, people. And as you move further through your career you’ll be exposed to books and other material about leadership training, and management training, which mostly focus on teaching you, how to work with and motivate, yup, you guessed it, people.

So why not get a head start?

No matter where you are in your personal or professional journey, start studying people now. Take interest, learn how to live with them, how to work with them, what motivates them.

And guess what?

You’re a person too.

So one of the best benefits you’ll get from learning about and studying people is that you’ll get insight in to yourself too.

Look, you don’t have become an expert on people, but since you’re probably going to spend the majority of your life around them, doesn’t it make sense to learn more about them?

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“To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”

Read it again.

Memorize it, and repeat it to yourself, and never forget it.

Being yourself, scratch that. Being true to your real self is going to be one of the hardest things you’ll ever encounter in your life.

The quote I started with wasn’t written by me, it was written by the brilliant poet E.E. Cummings.

To some this quote might seem unreasonable, and the truth is, that it is.

Why is it unreasonable?

Because it’s dangerous.

It’s filled with all the perils, the consequences, of being yourself.

But at its core, it boils down to, what will they think of me? And although some of this is tied to emotion, a great portion is directly associated with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. The core need for love and belonging drives many to mask who they really are in order to achieve social acceptance.

The awful irony is that when elderly are asked to list their lessons and regrets from their lives, one of their top regrets is that they wish they had been brave enough to have expressed their true selves. And that’s why you’ll often hear that old people don’t have filters. It’s because they’ve realized that their time is limited, and so they’re going to act, say and do whatever they want to.

Now, I’m not suggesting you don’t take other people’s feelings in to account or condoning behavior that’s damaging to you or society. What I am suggesting is that you really starts asking yourself, who you are and what do you want?

Do it now and do it often.

Look, you’re always going to encounter people that don’t agree with you, but the more you’re aligned with yourself, the more you’ll attract people that resonate with you. It might be difficult at first, but that’s the continuous battle.

Start now. Don’t wait to be the old person with regrets and without a filter.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.

Airplane door.

Back door.

Bedroom door.

Bus door.

Car door.

Classroom door.

Elevator door.

Front door.

Garage door.

Kitchen door.

Office door.

Revolving door.

Store door.

Study door.

Train door.

Life is a series of doors.

Some doors will be more important to you than others. The reason is because how you show up once you cross the threshold of these doors will determine the tenor of your relationships, which in turn will have a direct impact on your life.

When possible, stand a little straighter and put a smile on your face when you walk through a door. If you do this, it’ll change what you see on the other side and, if there are people on the other side, it’ll change how they see you.

Doors might seem like an insignificant part of your life. But if you view them as transition points, to change your attitude, change your mood, revisit your views, you can begin to leverage them as opportunities to your advantage.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.

Who paved the way for you?

Which brave souls set out in to the world, sometimes by choice and at other times, victims of their own circumstances, to create all that you see around you today?

You’ll never know.

Yes, your point of reference might be your parents, or other ancestors that you can trace, but there were others. Others that perhaps your ancestors leaned on, or even followed, that eventually led you to be where you are today.

All that came before you were pioneers in their own way. Some left greater marks on the world than others, but all of them, if the given the opportunity, would share their stories of trials and tribulations that they had to endure in order for you to be here today.

So now I ask you?

Who will you be a pioneer for?

The truth is that you’ll probably never be able to really know the real impact you’ll have on any one person’s life. But as you move forward in your own daily endeavors, realize that everything you do does and will have a future consequence. You too in your own way are a pioneer.

So today, take a minute to be grateful for all those that came before you, irrespective of whether you think you know them or not. And then set out on your day, doing things and taking actions, while all along knowing that, whether you’re remembered or not, you are a pioneer and will be impacting those that will live on after you.

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Tag you’re it!

If you ever walk up to a playground full of children you’ll probably see at least a few of them engaged in a game of tag. Apparently the game of tag is a global phenomenon. Children around the world instinctively engage in their own local version of the game.

Why is this?

Well, researchers say it that tag has a primal effect to it. The running around, laughing out loud and even screaming with joy all while expending energy is something we’re built to do.

So why stop?

When do you become too old to run around laughing or screaming with joy?

When is child’s play relegated only to young children?

Millions of dollars are spent each year on sporting events. Fans and spectators flock in droves to watch adults essentially at play. So often when a professional athlete is interviewed you’ll hear them say phrases like, ‘I can believe I get paid to play,’ or ‘I feel just like I was when I was a kid.’

Why should they be the only ones having all the fun, playing like children?

Why not you too?

Find ways to evoke your inner child. Actively engage in child’s play. If the mature version of you is pushing back and saying that you’re too old to do so, then know this. Studies also show that play increases creativity. So there, now you have a great reason to find a way to play.

Try it today. Tap a friend or co-worker on the shoulder and whisper, tag you’re it.

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Do you accept or decline?

I’m guessing that you’re asking accept or decline what?

And that’s a great question.

You see, you’re constantly accepting or declining requests for your time and energy. However, many of these requests don’t come with big obvious buttons that ask you to accept or decline. In fact many or even most of them are subtle, to the point of insidious, working their way under your conscious radar and stealing tiny bits of your time and energy on a daily basis.

Actually, stealing might be too strong of a word since you’re complicit, and you do agree to your time and energy being eroded by a constant stream of requests.

And since these requests never stop, how do you find or more important, take any time for yourself?

How do you prioritize your energy and time so that it allows you accomplish things that are important to you?

You might not have any large goals that require lots of time and energy, such as climb Mount Everest on your things to accomplish list and that’s okay. But if you’re like most people you probably have a few small goals that you’d like to achieve.  And in order to achieve them, you’re going to have to apply some degree of selfishness. You’re going to have to decide whether you accept or decline requests for your time.

And, at times, declining requests might make you unpopular. But this is the tradeoff you’ll have to be willing to make. You’re going to need to draw some hard lines in the sand if you’re ever going to carve out some ‘you time.’

Whether it’s the people around you or the device in your hand, they all want a piece of your time. And ultimately, your time is all you have. It’s your one non-renewable resource. It’s the one you have to protect the most, so be very careful when a request is made for your time, and decide wisely whether you’ll accept or decline.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.